So I have been on this traumatizing journey and even quit my job I’m confused and frustrated and this has shown me people are not kind. I started noticing a strong fowl smell but couldn’t tell where is coming from because my discharge is normal and no smell. When I insert hand into my vagina no smell. I did lab and everything was clean no STD and I was started on metronidazole which did nothing. I got so frustrated because it was so bad that people can’t stay in same room with me and more confusing as my vagina or discharge can’t be smelled. I had to check myself into the ER due to I even puke on my own smell got so bad like a fowl rotten egg or dead animal. Every lab was done including for uti all clean I was sent home. Got started on clyndamycin and almost done yet it has not made any change. I was told to use boric acid with with which made no difference. I have tried so many things. I take probiotics. Kefir. Yoghurt and my shower routine has always been twice a day. I changed my whole inner wear tried every suggested remedy here on redit nothing. I stopped using my lotions and changed to regular yet nothing. This has never happened to me before and is causing me so much agony and depression. People look at me like dirt. I’m planning to do a walk in gynecology visit tomorrow as I have been rescheduled twice by the one I was referred to by the DR. I’m so confused and self isolated. I don’t want to go down without a fight but I’m so tired because I have done everything. Trust me when I say both home remedy and professional remedy. At least if I know what I’m dealing with 50% is solved. Broken relationship and friendship. Humiliation and shame every where I step in. How much more can I take

I made a post about this when it first started happening and I was kind of freaked out, so I figured I would make a post when everything was resolved.
I gave myself chemical urethritis. This is very common and can be caused my body washes, deoderant, etc.
Basically what happened was I used mitchum deodorant on my private area, I put it on my vaginal lips. This was a mistake. You can use regular deodorant on the rest of your body but you should never put it so close to your vagina. I ended up masturbating that night, which I think actually got the deodorant inside of my urethra.
For the next five or so days I had symptoms of a uti. But I went to urgent Care and I did not have a uti. I had frequency of urine, burning sensation, and generally feeling uncomfortable down there.
How I treated: I treated it like a UTI: *Cranberry pills *Cranberry juice *Lots of fluids *AZO urinary pain relief (really helped) *Coconut oil applied on vulva and edge of vaginal canal(I put a heavy amount on and it was very soothing) *Washed my vulva and vagina with baking soda body wash(helped soothe)
*I did the coconut oil at night and it helped me to sleep and it also helped my whole vaginal area to feel less irritated.
So I'm finally feeling better and I don't feel like I have to pee all the time and I don't feel irritated down there. I'm on the first day of feeling better so I'm going to continue to drink my liquids and take my cranberry pills.
If you have chemical urethritis, don't panic. You basically just need to treat it like a UTI and Soothe your vulva and vagina.
Things I could've tried: Baking soda sitz bath

Before anyone jumps in here offering solutions -- I'm a moderator of /interstitiacystitis and have had this disease since 2007. I know all available treatments (https://www.ichelp.org/ic-bps-treatment-guideline/), and spoiler alert: There's been no major medication breakthroughs since the 90s with Elmiron, something that only works in a small amount of people and is $500 a month. Pelvic floor physical therapy is currently the most effective treatment we have. And that's what this post is about.
I also have endometriosis found incidentally, could maybe be causing extra inflammation, but bladder pain is the only thing that I deal with.
-----------------
My IC pain is currently under control and I'm at 0 pain as long as I don't eat any food with flavor or take any medication outside of Claritin or a very, very small percentage of various drugs that don't flare me.
People get sick. As we age we get health issues that pills can fix easily. But I can't. I can't take anything without severe, quality of life ending bladder pain. Antibiotics flare me terribly, but those are temporary and I have to take off work for the duration (1 or 2 weeks) that I'm on them. It's a great strain on my career. I can't have sex, because the risk of missing a week or more of work due to a UTI is too great.
I'm making it okay with these severe restrictions on my quality of life. It's not perfect, but its livable.
But at some point, statistically, I will end up with something chronic that needs daily medication for the rest of my list. Statins, blood pressure medications, hormonal treatments for menopause, cancer treatment, thyroid medications, and so many others that are simple pills that stop you from dying or facing permanent disfigurement.
I can't take any of these. These all flare me and death would be preferred to the hell of feeling like I'm about to piss my pants 24/7 and agonizing pain that feels like my urethra is being raped by a searing hot ice pick held over a flame for the rest of my life.
No one has advice. No medical professional has any suggestions. There's absolutely no research into helping IC patients take life-saving drugs. I'm stable and pain free for now, and that's really all that they focus on. Doctors tell me I'll have to face the issue when I get there and try not to worry about it now, but I don't want to die young.
I'm in my mid 30s, and at the first onset one of these issues I'm dead. I don't think I'll make it to 50 because some of these things run in my family. My fellow ICers all share the same sentiment.
I repeat: There has been no major treatment breakthrough since the 90s.
The current medication that I'm on keeping me pain free isn't even for IC. It's an endometriosis drug that would likely help the pain of a lot of women with IC with or without endometriosis, because a lot of our pain has a hormonal component to it. But there is 0 research into the hormonal component of our disease. A lot of IC patients who get pregnant go into remission for years, but there is 0 research into why and how to replicate that effect with hormonal treatments. It seems like such a simple direction to go in, but instead research funding keeps getting sucked into shit like Mindfulness and Yoga for Pain With Interstitial Cystitis and Peppermint Oil for the Treatment of Interstitial Cystitis /​ Bladder Pain Syndrome.
The endo drug that I am on causes osteoporosis, so I can only be on it for two years and I have just reached that mark. The replacement medication, containing progesterone, flared me and I cannot take it. Without medication I will return to daily severe pain that is incompatible with life. The OBGYN (but honestly its more of the insurance company using this as an excuse to not cover the drug) is more concerned about osteoporosis that will happen 10-20 years down the line rather than severe pain that will immediately end my life as I know it and not make getting to the next 10-20 years worth it.
This post is a cry for help for awareness of this disease and other chronic pelvic pain conditions in women that get no funding, no research, and no help. This is going to kill me.
​

My dog goes on puppy pads in the bathroom. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom myself and I walked in and didn’t see her. I know for a fact, I bumped into her, but I did not think We smacked into each other. It was more like I just bumped her into her. She did not yell at all. I have been having issues with her frequently urinating and I have been going in and out of the vet doing bloodwork and taking UTIs. She has been negative for UTIs and negative in her screening and x-rays. She keeps rubbing her butt on the carpet, but it’s more like itching her vagina. She has some irritation and scab on her tummy close to her vagina. I am seriously at a loss and I have been to two different vets, I have another appointment the vet tomorrow, but is this considered internal bleeding now? I just don’t know what to do.

My 4 year old daughter gets sick every month or two. Her symptoms are usually high fever and vomit. She gets very weak and won’t eat anything. Every time we go to the doctor her white blood cells are high, between 23 to 25. Doctors never find the reason just say she has an infection.
She gets a lot of UTIs, my 12 year old used to have some type of urine reflux but she didn’t need surgery as it fixed by itself. So based on her sister history and my experience with her I brought it up to the doctor and she dismissed it, saying my 4 year old doesn’t have the same symptoms.
Two days ago she was sick same symptoms as always, I did a at home uti test and was positive, at the doctor she came out negative but doctor said she has red blood cells in the urine, as per the doctor is very normal.
Her throat was red but she came out negative for strep throat, so they did not gave me a reason of her symptoms other than we think she has strep but she came out negative.
I don’t know what else to do because she gets sick often and they’re not able to find the reason.
She goes to daycare.

My 4 year old daughter gets sick every month or two. Her symptoms are usually high fever and vomit. She gets very weak and won’t eat anything. Every time we go to the doctor her white blood cells are high, between 23 to 25. Doctors never find the reason just say she has an infection.
She gets a lot of UTIs, my 12 year old used to have some type of urine reflux but she didn’t need surgery as it fixed by itself. So based on her sister history and my experience with her I brought it up to the doctor and she dismissed it, saying my 4 year old doesn’t have the same symptoms.
Two days ago she was sick same symptoms as always, I did a at home uti test and was positive, at the doctor she came out negative but doctor said she has red blood cells in the urine, as per the doctor is very normal.
Her throat was red but she came out negative for strep throat, so they did not gave me a reason of her symptoms other than we think she has strep but she came out negative.
I don’t know what else to do because she gets sick often and they’re not able to find the reason.
She goes to daycare.

I don’t know where to start with this. There is so much and I’m pretty sure this is above reddits paygrade. I just don’t know where to turn too. I (38f) have been with my fiancé’ (38m) for almost 4 years now. I love him but I think I want out of the relationship. I can’t imagine being with someone else but I also cant imagine doing this for my entire life. There is so much to go over but I’m pretty sure at the end of this I am a huge double triple huge asshole for how I feel. I won’t make excuses. All I’ll say is that this has been happening long before we got to here. There is a lot of context but the first thing I guess I should address is that we both have chronic health issues. His is much more life threatening if not maintained but for the most part is healthy. He rarely gets sick but when he does it’s pretty bad. He has a rare form of anemia that is only treatable by lifelong steroid use or bone marrow transplant. I always keep up with his health and his hemoglobin levels are good but I don’t schedule his apps or attend all visits. He does all that. About a year and a half ago transplant talk was put on the table and he was vehemently against it. But after about a year he realized there wasn’t a choice his meds aren’t working anymore. I’ve always asked if hes in pain or struggling he makes it very clear he is fine and that he would tell me if he wasn’t. I am super aware of when things look off, or if he looks really pale. I always ask questions and when I do go to the doctors apps I pay attention.
I have an autoimmune disorder. It varies from being annoying as fucking hell to down right painful and I can’t walk. He has been less than sympathetic to just down right making fun of me. He’s told me I need to live in a bubble to you’re always sick, to what doesn’t hurt on you. Not much dude. Not much. To be clear I don’t whine, I don’t miss work unless is unavoidable, I went to work with Flu A, B and covid before I almost out right couldn’t set up. I’ve had full blown asthma attack on the bed and in-between breathes asked for him to get the nebulizer because I didn’t have a rescue inhaler anymore. My daughters cat laid on me because I was so sick and doing the treatment and while most cats love me, I’m not this cats favorite but even he was like mom needs me. He looked annoyed and thought I was being dramatic. It wasn’t until the doctor told me I was super mega sick that he relented. Im on immunosuppressants and I have two small school age kids who are walking petri dishes, I catch a lot. Its not for a lack of trying no too. One of the biggest I have a bad tendency to get yeast infections, its chronic and not entirely unavoidable. Sex is a huge factor in this and it’s a snow ball effect, it starts with a yeast infection that blooms in to a full on UTI then my lichen Sclerosis flares, and lots and lots of sex exacerbates these issues. He likes to bring up the first year we were together that we had a lot of sex but we didn’t live together and had to many days apart. I spent 100s of dollars on yeast meds and suppositories. I still ended up in urgent care for a UTI that caused a fever so high they were convinced I was septic. I wasn’t but I felt super awful. When we moved in together the sex things seem to bother him more. He had issues with all the things wrong and I tried to explain and give him things to read but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. We fought about it constantly. We had full blown arguments over sweatpants and sexy clothing. To when he actually told me unless I wore sexy panties sex didn’t matter to him. He apologizes after but I know that he meant what he said. I’ve never lied to him about any thing, I’m not an overly sexual person and not usually open about being attracted to someone but I have tried to meet him halfway. I knew my illness was causing a lot of problems so I tried so hard to be better. I had gained a lot of weight from steroid use so I went and got help to loose the weight, Ive lost like almost 80lbs. Ive gotten down to only one suppressant medication. But the skin issues still linger. I was told there wasn’t much I could do about it. I’ve gone to the doctor multiple times just for this issue. I’ve tried supplements and boric acid suppositories. Its helped but not enough to really notice. We just had to make changes to the way we have sex, we are still having it 2-3 times a week but we have to have days in-between and we have to minimize sperm contacting my skin. I was also diagnosed with seminal plasma hypersensitivity which is common with my skin disorders and it is an allergic reaction. But I have to put a huge wall up for spontaneous sex which is a huge bummer and he is 100% reliant on me being the one that’s spontaneous. Which he doesn’t think is fair. I understand all that but I’ve explained if sex hurt him or caused the issues I’ve had you’d understand why I have to do it this way. There have been times where I’ve had issues and had to abstain for sex or a week but It’s never been much longer than that and he’s constantly asking if its better or if we can do it. He rushes care and a lot of times I’m reinfected or I just never went away cause its never had time to heal. The only time he doesn’t press as bad is when I’m on my period and even then he makes comments about putting a towel down. He talks about sex constantly, asks for blow jobs when I can’t and insists on trying to lick me when I’m not in the mood. When someone has a yeast infection they aren’t thinking about anything going anywhere near this vag, they are uncomfortable and wished they could rip it off and throw it away. I have counted how many times hes brought up having sex in an hour and the most he’s done it is 23 times the least is 8. He can’t have a conversation with me without bringing it up. I could be talking about something completely different and he’ll go we doing it today? Completely off topic. ITs so much worse now that hes going to have to have transplant and has to go at the very least 30days with out sex. The first questions he asked whenever this was happening had nothing to do with will I live it’s been when can I have sex? He’s willing to risk my health and his health for it. I just can’t anymore. His main concern this entire time is don’t find someone else and don’t fuck anyone else. Not I love you and all of our kids, its’ been just about this and that he’s going to be ugly after the transplant. To which I could give a fuck about. I want to be clear I love him, I love having sex with him but this is just really hard to deal with. I’ve tried talking to him Ive tried expressing that this isn’t normal. He gets super defensive that why are you in a relationship for if you aren’t going to touch them and the entitlement to just grab at me has more than once sent me on edge. I’ve tried to explain it just devolves into fight where he just shuts down and says I just won’t fucking touch you period. Then spins it as I’m the one making a big deal. Its just sex.
These aren’t the only issues, we both have children from previous relationships my kids are much younger and hes jealous of the attention they get, hes so worried about me and him he doesn’t even pay attention to his own kids who are now teenagers. During this whole transplant talk hes made comments that he can’t wait to be alone and have a break from work and no kids around. His kids have heard him. All 4 are taking this super hard, he doesn’t care, he just says my kids are clingy and can’t do anything on their own. My kids are 7 and 5. I can go into more details but this would be so effing long if I did. And to be clear about this he has had these behaviors probably for the past 2 years way before we had the transplant conversations.
I know that I’m supposed to be one of his carers after the transplant. His mom will be primary as I am the main caregiver of my bio children and he will be located about 3 hours away. We were gone to testing this week and things were pretty fun we played and best friend game and for once no topics of sex came up. And it was like I got a glimpse of the person I fell in love with. But the next day it was right back to talking about sex every time he looked at me. When were seeing doctors, I had to excuse myself at one point because I realized if the roles were reversed he wouldn’t do this for me. If I lost any part of my beauty or ability to have sex this would be over. IT was so sobering and I was devastated. I tried talking to him when we got home and it caused a fight that we are still currently in. He says I’m not interested in sex every and he doesn’t try anymore cause Im never in the mood. Ive explained that constantly talking about it ruins it. Ive showed him time and time again if you just stop you get more from me. He doesn’t care. I don’t want to be his carer anymore. And I know that makes me a horrible person. Please excuse typos I am on voice text.

Hi everyone,
I’m posting this to hopefully get some help/advice. Sorry it’s so long!!
My issues all began after UTI-like symptoms in December 2023 after sex. This was a common thing for me after sex as I would frequently get UTI-like symptoms and just treat it with antibiotics (I never actually tested for UTIs 😣 but was certain it was because I knew how it “felt”). In the months before this I was also using feminine wash and wipes daily which I’ve read can cause irritation.
After treating this UTI in dec-23, it felt like the antibiotics didn’t totally get rid of my symptoms. Over the next 2 weeks, I was dealing with burning when urinating, urge/frequency, waking up several times in the night feeling like I needed to pee even though I made sure I didn’t drink a lot before sleeping and used the toilet before, eventually this developed into occasional bed wetting too (I’m 21!!). Intercourse with my boyfriend became painful with burning at the entrance and an inflamed vestibule at 12 o’clock around urethra area, leading to me either immediately stopping or avoiding sex. I developed pangs/shooting feelings of internal itch - when walking I’d literally have to stop and crouch down or apply pressure. Vulvar itch developed too on my labia majora. This completely destroyed my life, I couldn’t even walk let alone go to the gym or work in the office (worked from home a lot more) - my mental health was at an all time low.
I’ve had SO MANY GP, gynaecologist and sexual health consultations. I’ve done STI, thrush, BV, diabetes and urine (dip, culture, MSU) tests. A vaginal ultrasound which is all clear. My vulvar skin has been checked by sexual health nurses and 2 senior consultants (gynae, GUM) - all normal.
After 4 months in March-23, my GP diagnosed me with Vestibulitis/vestibulodynia. I have been taking Amitriptyline since. The first dose (10mg) immediately relieved my urinary issues!! I am currently on 30mg and using lidocaine ointment (5%) nightly, and lots of lube for sex - this has enabled me to have sex, often with mild-no pain. Internal itch is gone too.
The thing which has not been relieved at all is itchy labia majora 😩. Since January, I have been washing and applying an emollient only, using sensitive laundry detergent, cotton underwear and sleeping without underwear. The itch is sometimes worse at night but I think that’s because I’m less distracted. In April I took antibiotics for Group B Strep that was found on my vaginal swab but this just worsened my symptoms, my labia were extremely inflamed, swollen and red, labia majora itch was so bad. I took probiotics and applied hydrocortisone which helped. I have continued taking probiotics.
I have also been on a low estrogen oral contraceptive pill for 2 years. Since the amitriptyline has helped for most symptoms I’m guessing it is irritated nerves (vestibule is red at 12 o’clock). However, I still have labia majora itching and my boyfriend noticed that my labia majora looks redder than it used to be and my labia minora look more ‘dehyrdated’, slightly browner in colour. Could this itching, dehydrated appearance be hormonally-mediated? All my doctors have sort of shut down the hormonal idea when bringing it up.. either way I have stopped my pill. I also only recently told my GP I had a few episodes (5 in 3 months) of bed wetting before starting the amitriptyline and he seemed quite concerned so has booked me in for an ultrasound of my bladder and a spinal MRI to “cover all bases”.
Sorry for such a long post, I just wanted to get everything in there. I’d appreciate any advice, similar experiences etc. 🥰

Hi everyone,
I’m posting this to hopefully get some help/advice. Sorry it’s so long!!
My issues all began after UTI-like symptoms in December 2023 after sex. This was a common thing for me after sex as I would frequently get UTI-like symptoms and just treat it with antibiotics (I never actually tested for UTIs 😣 but was certain it was because I knew how it “felt”). In the months before this I was also using feminine wash and wipes daily which I’ve read can cause irritation.
After treating this UTI in dec-23, it felt like the antibiotics didn’t totally get rid of my symptoms. Over the next 2 weeks, I was dealing with burning when urinating, urge/frequency, waking up several times in the night feeling like I needed to pee even though I made sure I didn’t drink a lot before sleeping and used the toilet before, eventually this developed into occasional bed wetting too (I’m 21!!). Intercourse with my boyfriend became painful with burning at the entrance and an inflamed vestibule at 12 o’clock around urethra area, leading to me either immediately stopping or avoiding sex. I developed pangs/shooting feelings of internal itch - when walking I’d literally have to stop and crouch down or apply pressure. Vulvar itch developed too on my labia majora. This completely destroyed my life, I couldn’t even walk let alone go to the gym or work in the office (worked from home a lot more) - my mental health was at an all time low.
I’ve had SO MANY GP, gynaecologist and sexual health consultations. I’ve done STI, thrush, BV, diabetes and urine (dip, culture, MSU) tests. A vaginal ultrasound which is all clear. My vulvar skin has been checked by sexual health nurses and 2 senior consultants (gynae, GUM) - all normal.
After 4 months in March-23, my GP diagnosed me with Vestibulitis/vestibulodynia. I have been taking Amitriptyline since. The first dose (10mg) immediately relieved my urinary issues!! I am currently on 30mg and using lidocaine ointment (5%) nightly, and lots of lube for sex - this has enabled me to have sex, often with mild-no pain. Internal itch is gone too.
The thing which has not been relieved at all is itchy labia majora 😩. Since January, I have been washing and applying an emollient only, using sensitive laundry detergent, cotton underwear and sleeping without underwear. The itch is sometimes worse at night but I think that’s because I’m less distracted. In April I took antibiotics for Group B Strep that was found on my vaginal swab but this just worsened my symptoms, my labia were extremely inflamed, swollen and red, labia majora itch was so bad. I took probiotics and applied hydrocortisone which helped. I have continued taking probiotics.
I have also been on a low estrogen oral contraceptive pill for 2 years. Since the amitriptyline has helped for most symptoms I’m guessing it is irritated nerves (vestibule is red at 12 o’clock). However, I still have labia majora itching and my boyfriend noticed that my labia majora looks redder than it used to be and my labia minora look more ‘dehyrdated’, slightly browner in colour. Could this itching, dehydrated appearance be hormonally-mediated? All my doctors have sort of shut down the hormonal idea when bringing it up.. either way I have stopped my pill. I also only recently told my GP I had a few episodes (5 in 3 months) of bed wetting before starting the amitriptyline and he seemed quite concerned so has booked me in for an ultrasound of my bladder and a spinal MRI to “cover all bases”.
Sorry for such a long post, I just wanted to get everything in there. I’d appreciate any advice, similar experiences etc. 🥰

37 Female - 5'4" - 130 lbs - ex smokevape - weekly alcohol use of like 1 or 2 on weekends - no drugs
Allergies: Erythromycin
My gallbladder was removed in 2011
Ok so, the situation, Wednesday morning I woke up at 4:30 AM to pee and it stung. I immediately knew I had a UTI and would go to my Durgent care once they opened to get antibiotics. Not five minutes later I had to pee again and there were blood clots. Never had blood clots before with a UTI and also I'm not super prone for UTIs like some people. I've had maybe 4 in my life.
It escalated pretty quickly. I went from no symptoms when I went to bed to passing massive clots and my urine looking like chunky strawberry jello within just a couple of hours.
So go to the Dr office, they take a sample (it comes back E Coli), give me a shot of Rocephin and a script for Bactrim to take for 7 days, 2 pills a day. Since then I have been taking the medicine but I'm still having horrible symptoms.
Now the blood, clots, stinging, anything related to the UTI cleared up within a day. However I started to develop fevers (no fevers prior to taking the antibiotics), chills, massive constant headaches. My skin hurts so bad it's painful to move. It's the kind of pain you get when you're sick but just very intense. Hurts the most right below my breasts but even just getting up to use the bathroom feels horrible because I'll get the chills and it tightens my skin and it's just very painful.
Other symptoms I still have: heart palpitations, hunger seemed to disappear Friday. I am forcing myself to eat. Prickling sensation in my hands that sometimes appear elsewhere on my body - this feeling is not constant but comes and goes. Can feel/hear blood pumping in my head which makes me feel like I've got fluid? Tired/Woozy feeling in general.
So my concern is that I've never had UTI symptoms last long once I start the antibiotics and it's usually easy sailing while I finish the script. These prolonged symptoms are weird for me. What could possibly be going on? Stubborn UTI? Sepsis? Back doesn't hurt for kidney infection. Could I be allergic to Bactrim?
Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you!

Might be a lengthy read.. I always try to give as much detail as possible..
My Mathias is a 7/8 year old neutered male. I found him during a road trip at a truck stop in the middle of no where when he was about a year old. Love him to death. He's the sweetest boy.
We moved to a new apartment back in November. He was great for a few weeks and then everything went downhill again and my carpets were ruined in my living room. In case anyone is wondering, yes, the issues were present anywhere else we've lived as well..
Believe me, I know taking him to the vet is the first step. I took him twice within a month since December last year. Blood work, urine test, fecal test, x-ray.. $1000 later and they said he's slightly constipated, but other than that, completely healthy. He was on dry food up until then because I actually had no idea wet food was better. So since then, he's been fully on wet food with probiotics and Metamucil added (vet recommended). I know saying to go to the vet is the best advice in this scenario usually, but I really wanted to make clear that he's gone and he's healthy.
More context that might be important.. He's fat. He lived with my family while I was in school, and ballooned up in weight. So right now he's on a diet and he's not a very happy camper. So.. not perfectly healthy, but he doesn't have a UTI and his kidneys/heart/etc are fine.
Over the last couple weeks he's started peeing on the carpets in my bedroom. The living room is blocked off so he can't get to the carpeting in there anymore. I'm losing my mind. Last weekend when I barely opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was him peeing. Thing is, he does this and then runs to his food bowl. Maybe 30 minutes ago I turned around and he was peeing in that same spot again. And when I got up to grab paper towels, he ran straight to his bowl. Is this to get my attention? I typically feed him right when I wake up, so when he peed last weekend, I waited nearly an hour to feed him. I didn't want him to think that pee = food. I'm not sure if that was right to do, but I wasn't taking any chances.
I tried everything I saw when I read on reddit about people in similar situations. But I usually end up seeing most advice being about taking the cat to the vet, which is why I'm making my own post.. I've gotten additional litter boxes, different typed of boxes (high sides, low sides, extra wide, etc) I've used different litter (he ended up only liking the one he's always used), I clean the boxes 2 times a day, I've moved the boxes to where he's peeing and he will use it, but he'll still go on the floor next to it. I got a litter robot and then returned it because he wouldn't use it.. I've done almost everything I can think of except hire a behaviorist.
His behavior typically is very laid back. He just wants to be pet and take naps. He'll usually lay on his back next to me so I can scratch his tummy. He likes to play with my hands and run around. Nothing about him tells me he's stressed or unhappy, but I could be wrong? I figured the move at first would definitely stress him out.. but 6 months?
I'm exhausted. I've lived here for 6 months now and I will not have any friends over because I'm SO embarrassed of the smell. It's awful. Those of you who have had cats like this know the toll this takes on your mental health.. I've had this cat for almost a decade. Giving him away is literally the last thing I want to do. But I can't do this for another 5-10 years. I'm at my limit. He's been banished from my bedroom tonight and I put his beds in the kitchen (tile flooring). It breaks my heart leaving him alone like that. I just don't know what to do.
Please, if anyone has dealt with a cat like this, let me know if anything you did helped.. Recommendations for cleaning products to get rid of the smell would be great too.. I've made my peace knowing I'm not getting my security deposit back.. Thanks <3

So it's 1:30am for me and I'm freaking out. No open obgyns obviously so I'm turning to trusted reddit users.
I've noticed that during sex recently, I've ended up very very swollen. Like in the past month. I recently had a UTI and have noticed it's gotten worse since then. To the point miss girl is now a outie instead of a innie.(looks like my vaginal wall tissue is actually swelling outside of my vagina entrance) there hasn't been much of a change in my sex life aside from frequency has gone down. I often use even copious amounts of lube and it still gets to this point.

Past experience: I quit masturbation 3 years ago because I saw blood in my semen and Had UTI and ever since my wet dream frequency is not normal I'd say. Cause after that I used to have wet dreams every Single day but now it has gotten better but I will still get a wet the next day if I Look at JUST ONE naked picture
is it normal for 20 years old who is virgin neither watch porn nor jerks off to release drops of semen just becuase of being bricked up? and i have very frequent wet dreams. if i just look up 1 naked picture imma have wet dream the next day otherwise I don't have wet dreams everyday anymore

I know not to get medical advice from Reddit, but I’m curious for those that might know something or have personal experience.
I’ve been having an urge to pee a lot since April 20th, I used to go pee only 3-4 times a day but 20th-28th I was peeing upwards to 8-9 times a day. I started holding it in more longer before actually going.
I already got tested for UTI, chlamydia, urine culture test, blood work for diabetes etc all came back negative. I’m waiting on ultrasound results that they did on my bladder and prostate size.
Is it something else or what? I noticed when I masturbate it gets worse the feeling to pee hours later.
My concern is if I do have pelvic floor issues tight or weak, is it forever? Will I be able to drink caffeinated beverages, alcohol, take my pain meds or masturbate freely again or is my life ruined?
I also want to add that I’m not an active person due to disability, but from april 4th to 18th I went on a trip and I was walking all day basically those 2 weeks, writing this just in case it means something.

Please help: bladder pain/reoccurring UTI
Posted with my partners consent and enthusiasm for potential answers. Also created a new account to post this for privacy concerns. So my 32m girl friend 27f and I have been together for almost a year now. She has been struggling the last 10 months with repeating bladder pain, interstitial cystitis, yeast infections, and overall discomfort with her intimate areas. I Feel this is at this time we became intimate, but she denies it is because of me. So much so that she has made multiple emergency room visits (she’s a tough little lady) and countless appointments with urologists and main practitioner from pain. Her health is a major issue for herself, but it also pains me physically and emotionally to see her in so much discomfort, pain, and exhaustion from endless disappointing results. I am just a regular working guy so I really have no clue what to do other than to turn to others who are helpful, knowledgeable, and caring. Once again I’m listing these conditions and medications with consent and help from my partner. Per my partner after asking for complete symptoms. “The bladder problems started after I got the second UTI where I ended up in the hospital in August. This was also when I started getting yeast infections. The bladder problems became severe after they put me on Flagyl for Bacterial Vaginosis at the end of January. I stopped taking the birth control around the 12th of last month. I’m having pelvic discomfort, nausea, headaches, bladder spasms, recurring yeast infections, vaginal dermatitis (I think from the yeast infections), and bladder discomfort. I’m taking Wellbutrin, Buspar, and I started taking Urogesic Blue to help with the bladder pain, but I think it might be causing the nausea and headaches. I’m also on nitrofurantoin for the next five days for the UTI. I take quite a few supplements: fish oil, cranberry, Vitamin D, Folic acid, and probiotics” We have both noticed that each time she has an issue the determined prescription is antibiotics, but the antibiotics always cause yeast infections and bladder pain. We have both been checked for std and Sti near the beginning of our relationship when we both knew we were forever, and wanted to become intimate. So that is out of the question. We switched to wearing condoms when her discomforts started to arise and become consistent. I began to genuinely believe it was me causing the issues, and I still do. We have resorted to wearing sterile gloves when we want to become intimate with my hands during foreplay. I used to really love doing oral on her and have restrained myself for fear of injuring her long term with mouth bacteria(I don’t know, just trying here). She also cleans after each time we are passionate with each other. I love this woman with my entire heart and soul. I will marry this woman. I will care for her always. I want her to be healthy, happy, and not stressing over if she is going to have another episode. Please help with anything you can. She will take all things to her doctor for testing or insight. If you have made it this far, from the both of us, thank you.

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after he asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

Hi there,
I woke up with the worst UTI ever. Have been on the toilet for house with the most burning sensation in my pee hole, smelly urine, having the pee and nothing comes out, all the usual (I used to get UTI’s really regularly, but have been good for the last few years).
I have some antibiotics from an old sinus infection, and have just taken one (Cefalxin) as I can’t get in to the doctors until tomorrow.
While I’m waiting for that to work, any tips? I’m dying over here 😭😭😭😭 so so so uncomfortable. I’ve also taken some ural and herbal urinary tract support vitamins.
Any tips for pain relief would be great!

(To preface: im gonna see a specialist about this but the doctors near me arent that good with trans and intersex care so it might be helpful if i have an idea of whats going on before i see the specialist. The last doctor i saw (gp, not specialist) had no clue what was going on and just referred me without being able to tell me what to expect. Im not asking for a diagnosis, but if anyone has experience with something similar, or has heard of a similar case, it would be great if you could share what the cause was so i can maybe bring it up as a suspicion my next doctors appointment.) Please let me know if this is not appropriate to post and i will take it down.
Im ftm, pre anything. For about a year ive had urinary symptoms that would usually be attributed to a UTI, but they tested for bacteria in my urine and found nothing unusual (the words they used were "mixed growth of doubtful significance"). They put me on antibiotics anyways (twice) and it didnt help. The symptoms ive had for a year are urinary retention and frequency, and straining to urinate. A urine test also found an unusual amount of rbc and wbc. An ultrasound didnt find any abnormal growths or structural issues in the bladder. HOWEVER, for as long as ive known, ive had multiple urine streams (usually 2, sometimes a third). I know it could be that it split later or something, but taking a look at it, the urine seems to either be coming from or very close to the vagina. Upon looking at it, it seems the reason for multiple streams is that the urine is coming from BEHIND the hymen (which afaik is not normal) which has a few openings in it. Also im not sure if this is normal, but surrounding the vagina/urethra complex thing is 2 flaps, almost like a tube (not the labia minora, they are WITHIN the labia minora). The clitoris appear to be a bit enlarged but not by a lot. Aside from this, i have hirsutism and ive been assumed to be a guy even before i socially transitioned and when i wore womens clothes. Ive also had gender dysphoria since at least around age 3 and there were no typical "explanations" (such as trauma, abuse, "lgbt influence") for me to have developed it so young, so i believe my biology played a huge role. I went through mostly typical female puberty but with no growth spurt, slightly lower voice, and a weird non cramp pain in my lower abdomen sometimes, pretty muscular for how little i work out, and irregular period length. I also have a very short and stocky build.
And aside from gender related things, i have EXTREMELY poor vision and arthritis since around age 7(doesnt run in the family), hyperflexible joints, a sacral dimple, and autism. I have very high cholesterol but normal glucose, blood pressure, and weight. According to my dentist, my dental age is very delayed (im almost 20 and have baby teeth, everyone else in the family lost theirs normally) and have suddenly grown about an inch and a half in the past year. Theres a few other things but idk if they are worth mentioning.

Just yesterday I met with a doctor who performed a trans-vaginal ultrasound for concerns of pelvic pain, and everything seemed normal. However, when she asked why I came to see her specifically I told her about my concerns with endo. She said that the only way to diagnose was through a laparoscopy, and that the decision was mine if I wanted to go through with it. My problem is, I don’t know if my symptoms are severe enough to warrant one.
I’ve had thoughts of endo for maybe a year or two now, but only through the last month have I made any forward movement with getting a diagnosis. Below I’m listed some of my symptoms, for reference I’m 20yo and got my first period when I was 12.
Heavy cramping Pelvic pain Back pain Constipation Bloating Need to pee but cant Heavy bleeding Irregular periods Longish periods Pain during sex Fatigue Leg pain Migraines
My symptoms are cyclical, happening when I have my period and roughly around the time I ovulate. For 4-5 years now, my cramps have been so severe I have to take a day off school the first day of my period because I can’t do anything but waste away in pain on the bathroom floor.
My periods have always been irregular, anything from a 28-35 day cycle, and periods lasting either 4 or 10 days. First couple days I typically soak a pad within one to two hours. Last two years, I developed back and pelvic pain with my periods. Additionally, the “I need to pee but cant” feelings accompanied me when I ovulate and when I menstruate. Yes, I’ve gotten test for a uti and yeast infection, they both came back negative.
And since October I developed sciatic pain, which occasionally flares up when I ovulate or menstruate. I read that sciatic pain can be caused by endo, and considering that I haven’t had any real problems with my back or significant injuries, endo might be my only explanation. I bloat after I ingest literally anything, a light snack, some water, or even a full meal. I’m extremely constipated on my period.
And I also experience pain during intercourse. I used to feel like a friction type pain, but my partner and I switched to latex free condoms and that made a difference. However, I still have a like a deep stabbing pain kinda like my bladder is full and it keeps getting punched over and over again. I’m not too sure if that is normal.
All of this to say that I hate being a woman and being on my period is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve talked to my mom and she says a lot of the symptoms are normal, but I’ve read a lot of things and I just feel like what I’m going through isn’t normal. However, I do know I can be a bit of a hypochondriac, and I don’t know if I’m just searching for symptoms or if they’re actually there.
I’m already on birth control, and a lot of people ask why I want a diagnosis when I’m already on treatment. For starters, if something is wrong with me, I’d want to know. But also, I don’t want to be on birth control for the rest of my life if I can avoid it. I also want to have kids, and I want to know if something might interfere with that, if I might be infertile.
I desperately want to get the procedure done, but I’m scared of finding out that I could be wrong about all of this. I’ve made it such a big deal for two years, I’ll be so humiliated if I’m wrong. But I also just want to know. My mom is hesitant, because she doesn’t want me going under general anesthesia if it isn’t necessary. So I’m asking you guys: do you think my symptoms warrant getting a laparoscopy? Am I just being paranoid, and is there anything beneficial with getting an endo diagnosis, or would life be the same even if you didn’t get one?