TL;DR: My affirming ELCA church has begun to feel like an obligation and my faith has felt shallow. I feel guilty about not wanting to attend anymore and don’t know how to approach the issue.
I (25f) found an ELCA church in my area that is LGBT affirming (important since I’m a lesbian). I had been looking for YEARS. I have some religious trauma from growing up southern baptist and my dad being a pastor and not accepting. This church is small, the congregation is elderly, and they had no music. I offered to play piano, since it seemed like a need for them and I hadn’t had a reason to play in a long time. I play every week I attend. I am returning from a hiatus (my soccer schedule conflicted with Sunday services) and I haven’t been looking forward to returning. I did join as a member soon after finding the church, so I think I feel a bit bad about that as well and am thinking I should’ve held off. I just don’t feel connected when I’m there and when I wasn’t attending, I was reading my Bible more and actively participating in intellectual discussions in places like this Reddit community. My church attendance and the amount of time I practice piano every week I feel like detracts from that and I feel like my faith has become more shallow since I started attending, not the other way around. I’m nervous to talk to my pastor about this since if I left, it would mean they would now lose their music as well. I worry she’ll unintentionally guilt me or even try to convince me to stay (which may be an irrational fear). I guess I just need advice. Should I stick it out? If I discontinue attending, how should I go about it?
TIA.

I injured my hip in November 2023 and have had severe pain ever since, making me stop all physical activity and can't even go for a walk. I've been going to physio ever since I injured my hip and haven't noticed any improvement, even gotten worse recently with very bad pain especially in bed lying on my side when my knees are bent. I haven't been taken seriously by a surgeon I saw in march they were pretty dismissive and he was unsure what to do so referred me to a another one that I'm seeing on the 16th july. I can't put up with this much longer I've gone from being very active to not even being able to walk and physio isn't helping. Results below got told I have cam impingment aswell
complex tear of the anterosuperior labrum. This consists of full-thickness detachment at the base of the anterosuperior labrum with contiguous radial flap tear component. Impingement Test: A positive anterior impingement test (hip flexion, adduction and internal rotation) pre local anaesthetic is did not improve post intra-articular local anaesthetic.

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Why join us? 🔸 Max donations, active wars, and CWL climb 🔸 Constructive feedback and experienced players 🔸 Thrilling challenges and adventures
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27F. I want to start this off by saying, I really really don’t want to offend anyone. I want to understand and learn from other’s experiences, so if I say something transphobic it is not my intention so please correct me and I will apologize and change the way I communicate.
When I was little I always was a tomboy and I wanted to be boy because I wanted to be friends with boys so I could play soccer and different activities that the boys got to do during recess.
Then when I went into high school I came out as a lesbian and I’ve felt very secure in that ever since. I also felt really comfortable being feminine and not having to dress one way or the other.
When I was in college I knew about some things that went on and started thinking “If I were a man I wouldn’t worry about that and I would feel safe” And that is still a big thing for me, wether or not it’s fair.
Where I feel a lot of anxiety, and for some reason fear, is when someone makes a comment that I should have been born male. It makes me feel really uncomfortable because the thought of having male parts and/or the thought of facial hair and those types of things really feel unnatural to me. “Male energy” was something I’ve heard about myself too but I also am quite “feminine” when I feel more comfortable.
What’s really confusing me the most is, as an adult I definitely lean more towards masculine things. But, if I have to wear a dress and do my hair for a wedding (if I’m a bridesmaid) I feel really confident and pretty. But when I’ve worn a suit to weddings I also feel really confident and comfortable.
I really struggle to understand the anxiety I have around this. It’s the same kind of anxiety I felt before coming out as queer over 10+ years ago. But with this it feels more so of a “what if I’m pushing down these feelings and not being authentic to myself” but then I think of transitioning and I don’t feel that would be right. I don’t know if im just in a spiral but this anxiety comes and goes for the last 3 years.
I’ll talk to my therapist and she will say “hmm, well if you’d like to transition we can certainly look at talking to a doctor, but if you don’t want to transition and you don’t want to be the opposite sex maybe it’s just anxiety that is coming out over this topic” “maybe you envy the safety you feel that a lot of men have and that luxury feels tied to men”
The one thing I can say is that I am very jealous of some men who are big and strong and don’t have to worry about walking alone at night, or at least only have to worry about being robbed at worse.
Most of my life I felt that the idea of gender (not the body parts but the social norms) was bullshit. And I never worried about it much since I just felt that I was going to dress how I wanted to and do activities I wanted to even if it’s mostly men. But the last 3 years I feel saying all of that is wrong since gender is a huge thing for people and to be seen as the gender they identify with so I’m trying to change my thinking.
Anyways, I doubt anyone will read all of this but if anyone does, is this normal is there something you see that I don’t?

I am about to graduate high school , and I now think that I want to be a engineer. so im taking a gap year because I dont have the gr 12 pre requisites to get into a eng. program, specifically (12 calc, 12 physics and 12 chemistry)
I was thinking of doing gr 12 Chem in summer school, and calc and physics in the next 2 semesters during night school. do you think that this will affect my chances of getting into a university like Uoft, macmaster, Tmu, or Waterloo(I wish lol) ? my parents think Its fine but im really worried that high end universities aren't going to let me in and that Im gonna waste my entire year for nothing. - thanks for reading.

I am about to graduate high school , and I now think that I want to be a engineer. so im taking a gap year because I dont have the gr 12 pre requisites to get into a eng. program, specifically (12 calc, 12 physics and 12 chemistry)
I was thinking of doing gr 12 Chem in summer school, and calc and physics in the next 2 semesters during night school. do you think that this will affect my chances of getting into a university like Uoft, macmaster, Tmu, or Waterloo(I wish lol) ? my parents think Its fine but im really worried that high end universities aren't going to let me in and that Im gonna waste my entire year for nothing. - thanks for reading.

I plan to finish Uworld 1st pass (everything systemwise -this helped me to learn concepts properly) before it gets expired on July 10th.(i have already renewed once) and planning to give exam by end of AUG or SEP 1st week. I am making u world notes now. My plan once i finish u world 1st pass is to go through everything in second pass by 2.5weeks- HYguru, FA, usmle rx-to be good with FA, reading u world notes, few Mehalman PDFs and then i plan to give nbmes with 3 days gap in between. should I renew Uworld to use it in random,timed mode and active recall the concepts till the last day or just read the u world notes and focus on nbmes and content review, since there will be a gap of 2months from u world expiry to the exam day. Please help me. (Also i study full time, give me any other suggestions-that could be really helpful)

For writing, I had never really written a story before but some image popped in my head one day and I was just like “I would like to try to describe this.” And then I wasn’t satisfied with my writing and just kept doing more to improve. I’m still not satisfied, haha, but at least I have fun trying to get better!
For reading, I’m pretty sure as a pre-teen I was dissatisfied with the lack of content for some romantic relationship on a TV show that was not focused on romance at all, lol
What about YOU? What was the moment that made you start?

I do what I can to be active in the fandom, and support a few authors whose work I have time to follow and actively engage with. with basically two jobs, responsibilities, and my own fic to write, that's literally all I have time for. but I get this weird feeling when other authors comment on my work, like I'm obliged to read and comment on their work, or I'm being selfish. like they wouldn't have commented because they liked my fic
honestly it has led to a couple of cases where each comment feels transactional, and it gets stressful keeping up
just wondering how prevalent this feeling is, and I think trying to assuage my guilt

Hello everyone - Firstly I apologize to anyone who’s been wondering where I went, why I “disappeared” the last few days. I didn’t abandon anyone but there are people wondering if I’m still committed to the company or not
A few days ago I’ve been able to get back into my day to day routine as a student/workeboxer, that is the ONLY reason I haven’t been active as much as I was. I’m also on a “burner” phone just for this app, which makes it really inconvenient for when I just want to check up here real quick. This doesn’t mean I’m fading away from this sub, im just integrating it with my daily routine. I have another sub to run so I can’t just up and leave lol
Yesterday I withdrew my position from FFIE at .60/share, 508 shares at an avg of about $1.30. After Thursday, after seeing the updated short interest %, it was my personal belief that we weren’t going to meet our intention with this company. I made a personal decision to withdraw my position from FFIE and use those funds towards another company I have my eyes on.
I’m not exactly abandoning FFIE or the sub, I will still be here uploading news when I can. This doesn’t mean I want the company to fail either, if my decision to sell backfires on me, it will only be a good opportunity to revisit my mistakes and where so went wrong. I’m in a neutral position now, so please do not think I am not on your side.
I am going to be more active during the weekend catching up on news and reading so feel free to reach out regarding anything. Be safe this weekend folks

Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me. So here it goes, sll of my dirty secrets.
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.

Do you find yourself buying a new bag of expensive beans and wasting half the bag (maybe the whole bag) on cup after cup of poorly dialled-in grind size? That was me. And if it sounds like you, then read on.
The only equipment you need is 7-9 shot glasses (shot glasses are about 40ml).
You guessed it. My method is basically cupping very small glasses of coffee at different grind sizes.
Method:

• You will be grinding your beans in 2-step increments into the 7-9 shot glasses, basically covering a very wide range of grind sizes. As an example, a 7 shot glass setup would cover from 5.4 to 6.6 steps with 6.0 step being the middle shot glass.
• Grind 2 grams of coffee into each shot glass at the pre-determined steps. Important note: I've found this to be the easiest step to screw up. I frequently forget to adjust the grind size by 2 for each glass and I would lose track of which glass is which. I would suggest being deliberately slow and methodical when you first start.
• Pour 30 ml of water (I use 93c) into each shot glass. So this would be a 1:15 ratio. 30 ml would give you about 3 good sips. Not a lot, but just enough for tasting purposes.
• Stir gently. I try to poke the floating grinds into the water.
• Immerse for 4 minutes.
• That's it. You can start sipping. Note that your first sip will likely catch a few floating grinds on the surface of the coffee.
• I also recommend you start from the coarser side. I think it is easier to move from watery/sour to bitter. Your taste buds don't get as overwhelmed. I find it easier to note exactly where I think is 'sweet' going in that direction. Note down where you think is 'sweet'.
• Let the coffee cool a few degrees. And you can repeat the above sipping process. Noting how a lower temperature impacts the taste.
• As noted above, 30ml is good for about 3 sips. Don't try to finish the glass, the bottom is a cloudy/muddy sediment not representative of the glass.

There are a few benefits to this method:

1. It is much easier (for a beginner) to tell the taste difference (sour-sweet-bitter) between grind sizes when you drink them side by side. One immediately after another in succession.
2. You only used 2 grams x 7-9 glasses = so 14-18 grams of coffee to dial in the grind size. That is just one normal cup wasted (and I don't really consider it a waste).
3. You also get to know the 'potential' of the beans. You know what a well dialled in cup is supposed to taste like. You no longer have to wonder - "is this how these beans are supposed to taste like?"

You may be wondering how this 'immersion' cupping process helps if you are a v60 percolation person. It turns out, for me at least, a v60 percolation style grind size is 1 step coarser than what is determined with the above process. Ie. if the cupping process is sweet at 6.2 steps, then I will start with 6.3 steps with my v60.
A more experienced coffee person may find the above unnecessarily tedious. But for a beginner, or for someone who is wasting a ton of beans struggling with finding the correct grind size, I thought this could be somewhat helpful.

Hi, I'm just reposting this text guide from Makinu's Video guide to a reddit post, so i can read it easily off my phone instead of switching tabs which is considerably slower for me.
Credits go to Makinu for creating and posting the video guide, and McJoseph1 for compiling the text guide to follow the video.
Remember to watch all the way, like & sub to help Makinu :) (Firefox breaks at 4, see bottom)
Wave 1. [Reload], Charm x2, PokeBall // Potion Wobbuffet

1. Charm x2, PokeBall // Transfer Silk Scarf from Wobbuffet to Vulpix, Potion Wobbuffet
   
2. Pre-swap to Vulpix, Incinerate, PokeBall, Waterfall over Brine // Super Potion Vulpix
   
3. Pre-swap Fomantis to Gyarados, Incinerate / Waterfall(L), QuickAttack / Waterfall // Great Balls
   
4. Incinerate x3, Swap to Wobbuffet, Mirror Coat x4, Swap to Fomantis (Bottom red HP), Gyarados, Bite x3 // Potion Vulpix
   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Curse x2, PokeBall x2, Replace Fomantis (Fainted), Crunch over Bite // Potion Vulpix
   
2. Pre-swap to Vulpix, Incinerate, Quick Attack // Poke Balls
   
3. [Reload] Pre-swap to Fomantis (Bottom lvl 24), Fury Cutter x3, Ingrain, Nidorino, PokeBall x4, Swap to Gyarados, GreatBall x2, Replace Fomantis (Fainted lvl 24) // Potion Gyarados
   
4. Pre-swap to Vulpix, Incinerate, Quick Attack, Extrasensory over Spite // Potion Gyarados
   
5. Pre-swap to Gyarados, Curse, Crunch.
   
6. Pre-swap to Vulpix, Incinerate x2 // Great Balls
   
7. Incinerate x2, Gyarados, Waterfall // Reroll, X Speed
   
8. Waterfall x2, Double Kick over Focus Energy // Rare Candy Vulpix
   
9. Waterfall x2, Crunch, X-Scissor over False Swipe // Max Revive Vulpix
   
10. [Reload] Waterfall(L) / X-Scissor(R), Switch Gyarados to Wobbuffet/X-Scissor, Mirror Coat/X-Scissor // Fire Stone Vulpix
    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Pre-swap to Gyarados, Waterfall x2, Dragon Dance over Curse // Protein Gyarados
   
2. Pre-swap to Ninetales, Incinerate x3 // Potion Gyarados
   
3. Pre-swap to Lokix, Lunge // Potion Gyarados
   
4. [Reload] Lunge, Throat Chop over Struggle Bug, Horn Attack over Fury Attack // Super Potion Lokix
   
5. Lunge x6, Gyarados, Dragon Dance x2, Waterfall x2, Ninetales, Incinerate x3, Confuse Ray, Quick Attack, Switch to Nidorino, Peck x3.
   
6. Pre-swap Nidorino to Ninetales and Lurantis to Gyarados, Incinerate/Waterfall(R), Incinerate/Waterfall // Exp.All
   
7. Pre-swap to Gyarados, Waterfall x2, Sucker Punch over Endure // Super Potion Gyarados
   
8. Pre-swap to Lokix, Lunge x2 // Potion Lokix
   
9. Pre-swap to Ninetales, Incinerate, Quick Attack // Rogue Balls
   
10. [Reload] Switch to Lokix, Lunge, Throat Chop, First Impression over Double Kick, Leaf Blade over Weather Ball, Lunge x2 // Potion Lokix
    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Lunge, Ninetales, Incinerate x2 // Big Nugget
   
2. Pre-swap to Gyarados, Dragon Dance x2, Waterfall // Revive Lokix
   
3. Pre-swap Lokix to Wobbuffet, Waterfall(L)/Counter, Crunch/Counter // Ultra Balls
   
4. Crunch // Super Potion Gyarados
   
5. Dragon Dance, Crunch x2, Toxic over Toxic Spikes, Crunch, Ninetales, Incinerate x2, Nidorino, Peck x7, Lokix, First Impression, Sucker Punch x2, Lunge.
   
6. Pre-swap to Gyarados, Dragon Dance x3, Waterfall // Potion Gyarados
   
7. Crunch // Super Potion Gyarados
   
8. Pre-swap Wobbuffet to Lokix, Crunch(L) / ThroatChop(R) // Potion Gyarados
   
9. [Reload] Crunch(L) / ThroatChop(R), PokeBall, RogueBall // Nugget
   
10. Dragon Dance, Crunch, Dragon Dance, Waterfall, Crunch x2, Waterfall x2 // Potion Gyarados
    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Crunch // Protein Gyarados
   
2. Crunch // Silver Powder Lokix
   
3. Waterfall // Potion Gyarados
   
4. [Reload] Pre-swap to Ninetales, Extrasensory, GreatBall x3, Switch to Nidorino, GreatBall, Ninetales, GreatBall, Lurantis, RogueBall // Nugget
   
5. Leaf Blade x5, Gyarados, Dragon Dance x2, Crunch x3, Lokix, First Impression.
   
6. First Impression(R) /Waterfall(L) // Moon Stone Nidorino
   
7. Pre-swap to Gyarados, Dragon Dance, Crunch // Potion Gyarados
   
8. Crunch x2, RogueBall x3 // Reroll x2, Wide Lens Lokix
   
9. Pre-swap Gyarados to Ninetales, Incinerate/First Impression(L), GreatBall, Incinerate/Switch Lokix to Nidoking, GreatBall x2, UltraBall // Super Potion Gyarados
   
10. Confuse Ray, Extrasensory x6 // EXP. All
    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Pre-swap to Gyarados, Crunch // Super Potion Gyarados
   
2. Waterfall // Potion Gyarados
   
3. Pre-swap Nidoking to Lokix, Crunch(R)/Sucker Punch(R), Switch Gyarados to Ninetales/First Impression, UltraBall, Nidoking, UltraBall x3 // Potion Gyarados
   
4. Pre-switch to Lokix, Throat Chop // Super Potion Gyarados
   
5. [Reload] Pre-swap to Wobbuffet, Mirror Coat x2.
   

Throughout my 15-year career, I've often been frustrated with acceptance criteria. But at my current position, I've been especially frustrated with the fact that I, an IC, am writing all of the acceptance criteria for the projects I work on.
Here's my current role in project planning:

1. PM comes to me with an idea and asks about feasibility.
   
2. Later, PM comes back with a basic PRD and a design and asks for a gut check estimate (i.e. small/medium/large).
   
3. PM and designer take design to the rest of the product and design team for feedback.
   
4. PM and designer incorporate feedback into design. PM then creates an epic with a Spike ticket, which is assigned to me and pulled into the next sprint.
   
5. I thoroughly review the PRD and designs and make comments right in Confluence or Figma to ask clarifying questions. I may schedule time with PM and designer so we are all on the same page.
   
6. I write the JIRA stories and add acceptance criteria and estimates (the expected outcome of the spike).
   
7. In Sprint Planning, PM determines the team's capacity and asks me to pull into the upcoming sprint a specific number of points from the project (there are usually multiple projects in flight at once, plus some additional bugs or "quick win" stories as well).
   
8. PM prioritizes the sprint, and during the sprint, team members take tickets off the top of the queue. So, while I am the project lead, I may not be actually completing the tickets. Engineers complete stories according to the acceptance criteria I have written.
   
9. When stories are completed, the ones tagged for QA are picked up by the QA engineer, who determines if the work completed matches the acceptance criteria. If not, they add bug tickets to the epic, which I then review and pull into the sprint to fix.
   
10. Once all stories are completed and have gone through QA and all of QA's bug tickets are completed, the PM then takes a look at the feature themselves and turns on the feature flag.
    

I have a number of issues with the way this goes, but the biggest one is this: the acceptance criteria in the PRD are generally very sparse. If the feature is for adding a new page for viewing a report on contact activity, the acceptance criteria might just say "As an administrator, I can view contact activity on the new report page."
It is then my responsibility to come up with specific acceptance criteria by combing through the design, reading comments, looking through various Slack threads, etc. So what other engineers and what QA is basing this project on is coming from me, not from the product owner.
The PM generally does not review the tickets in the epic. They do not look at the acceptance criteria I have written to ensure all of the work is encapsulated there. They barely review the project as it is in flight. It is up to me to self-report on how the project is going.
The result here is that after the project is released, the PM often comes back and says, "Why does this work like this?" and "Why doesn't this do this thing?" and it really frustrates me because all I really had to go off of what the designs, which don't always include everything. It's up to me to remember to include things like empty states, error states, loading states, and other unhappy paths. Additionally, a lot of the time certain parts of a project will just be summed up with "Make it work the same way as this other feature does", but of course there are always nuances with older code. Plus, that means that when I write acceptance criteria, I have to comb through another feature's UX and code and try to document everything it does so other engineers and QA know how to implement and test it.
Is this the way things go for you? Is there a better way? Should I be expecting more from my PM or is this just what I have to deal with?

For a short while, I found myself losing pretty much every round I played. I started to get frustrated and figured I just didn't have the right brain to win. I'm no stranger to card games, so this was a bit defeating for me. I know there are quite a few people on her who had the same experience.
But things have tipped over for me now - after reading some guides on dragonball.gg and watching a few YouTube videos, something just clicked. I've got a pretty solid U7 Son Goku deck that allows me to aggro pretty hard. Works pretty well against most decks, the only ones I seem to struggle against are Frieza and ToP Goku.
I encourage anyone who is finding it difficult to win matches to keep at it! Do some research, watch some videos, pay attention to what other players do and hopefully the same will happen for you. I'm looking forward to exploring deeper into some other colours and expanding my knowledge of the card database.
These tips may seem obvious to most, but for new players these fundamentals will hopefully help:

• For most leaders, awakening as quickly as possible is a good thing! Set up the board to force your opponent to attack your leader and have self-awakening cards in your deck.
  
• The more cards your have in your hand and active in battle, the better! (maybe with the exception of blue?) Trying to exhaust your opponents cards by forcing them to combo, removing as many cards from them as possible without created problems for yourself.
  
• Always think about your opponents following turn - try not to have battle cards with equal or lower power to their leader in rest mode. This will just give them a chance to destroy it with their leader, allowing them to pick up a card (in most cases) and simultaneously removing your cards.
  
• Focus on destroying your opponents battle cards, rather than attacking their leader. This further reduces their resources through battle card KO and fishing for them to combo.
  
• If you are the second player, keep your energy marker for a few turns. I usually don't consider using it until around turn 4 - 6 depending on the circumstances. Avoid using it until you have something strong to push with.
  

Much love!

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(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊