Daughter started smoking at

Good afternoon (or whatever time of day it is for you). Today is my four month sober anniversary, which is by far the longest I've gone since freshman year of college. If you're interested in how I got here, please continue reading. I hope this can help someone. Apologies for the length.
I (38, M) hit rock bottom on December 6, which was the conclusion of the heaviest year of drinking in my entire life. I was on a business trip in the city I used to live in and met up with some old friends for "a drink." Despite a heavy dinner, I still wound up completely plastered. I killed God knows how many French 75s, gin and tonics, and Sauvignon Blancs over about a 5 hour period. I generally had 2-3 drinks an hour when I went out, and am not exactly built to carry such a load (6'1" and about 155 lbs).
I made it back to my hotel and faceplanted in the lobby (which I still don't remember). I still bought a canned gin and tonic from the sundry shop after that. I stumbled to my room, called my wife, and opened the can. After a few minutes of slurring my way through the conversation, I washed my hands, and when I went to grab a towel from under the counter, I smacked the top of my head on the edge of the counter. Within seconds, I was bleeding down the front of my face like Ric Flair after taking a chair shot.
I told my wife what was up, and she said to call 9-1-1. The ambulance arrived, as did a friend my wife called and asked to hurry over. While I held a towel to the wound and answered the EMT's questions in my room, I tried to take ANOTHER swig from the G&T can. My friend pried it away. I spent the rest of the night in the ER getting six staples in my head and feeling like an asshole for taking up the valuable time of ER staff who could be treating people in real trouble. When I had to use the bathroom, they put up a curtain around me that was about chest high, and I urinated into a plastic bottle because they didn't want me walking anywhere. I was so humiliated I can't even put it into words.
I left the ER around 7 AM. I was due to fly back home the next day. I told my boss that I slipped on my hotel bath mat and had to be rushed to the ER with a head wound. I spent the day eating grease with the shades drawn and contemplating how I let my life get this out of control. Several friends called to check on me and tell me that they were disappointed in my behavior over the past year. My best friend from high school, who is like my little brother, summed it up: "I love you and will always be in your corner. But you need to get your shit together now!"
I went home, got the verbal thrashing from the Mrs. I deserved, and committed to quit. I abstained for close to a month. Had a glass of champagne on New Year's. Had a couple drinks here and there over the next couple of weeks. Then we got together with my friend and his wife for dinner on January 13 (celebrating my birthday a few days early). I decided to let loose and have another French 75. Then another. And another. We ubered home and decided to open a bottle of champagne, which I promptly drank 3/4 of myself. I woke up with a screaming hangover and decided I was done. I hadn't missed the hangovers, memory loss, and general feeling of malaise I felt for all those years.
Quitting was not easy. I actually took up smoking (again) when I quit booze and am fighting the nicotine monster now (again). I had to go to several work conferences, where people acted stunned that I didn't drink at receptions or skipped many of them completely to avoid temptation. I started seeing my therapist again and focused on some upcoming job interviews. I landed a great job just 3 weeks after I quit drinking, which wouldn't have happened if I were still on the bottle.
I am grateful to my friends and family for their encouragement. My wife is an amazing person for sticking by me the past 12 years (and many other reasons!), despite my addiction getting progressively worse throughout that time. I genuinely appreciate waking up in the morning with at worse a caffeine headache and not worrying if I offended my wife/friends/family by saying something idiotic or cruel the night before.
Please don't feel ashamed if you're in a similar mess. You can beat this. It takes significant will power and a supportive network. Get that network however you can to pick you up when you're tempted--whether that's through a group like AA, a significant other, a therapist, in-patient treatment, family, or friends. I come from a long line of alcoholics, and if it weren't for my friends (some of whom quit drinking in recent years), I wouldn't be typing this out right now. But at the end of the day, only you can take care of you. Love yourself and find supportive people. They are out there.
I'll now get back to listening to Johnny Cash and crushing this giant sandwich to celebrate sobriety!
TL;DR: I busted my head open on my hotel bathroom counter on December 6, spent the night in the ER, and got six stitches in my scalp. I quit drinking for a month, thought I had it under control, but after one night of heavy drinking, decided I was done. Today is my four month anniversary.

Names have been changed to protect those involved.
One of my earliest memories of flirtation dates back to around June of 2022, during a casual encounter at Clowns'R'Us. I vividly recall asking for a bottle of pop, and his playful response, something along the lines of "if you give me all the love in your heart forever." Although the exact details have blurred over time, the impact was profound - my heart raced, and my mind buzzed with excitement. Following that moment, I found myself increasingly captivated by him. With my marriage already strained, and unsure of his relationship status, it was a pivotal moment just before he began dating Jennifer.
Our flirtatious banter continued to evolve over the span of several months, with him often taking the lead, while I, admittedly shy, mustered courage for occasional bold interjections. One memorable exchange occurred during our shared enjoyment of Bawls energy drinks, when he jokingly remarked about the universal need for "bawls in their mouth" – a humorous prelude, in hindsight. Another instance arose while we were sealing envelopes, where I inquired about the type of stamps, playfully alluding to my penchant for licking things. His reaction was a delightful mix of surprise and amusement. “That was dirty!” He exclaimed in response. As our connection deepened, he extended an invitation to his Discord server, aptly named [Removed for privacy]. There, our interactions took on a more playful tone, even to the point of incorporating a playful flirtation with a porn bot. While I no longer have access to the server, certain memories, like his virtual gesture of "licking," remain vivid.
Feb 6, 2023 I took a leap of faith and decided to make my move on Discord. After months of teasing and listening to his claims about how large his penis is, I found myself deeply attracted to him. I confessed my feelings, though the specifics of our conversation elude me as I deleted the messages afterward. While he initially turned me down, I persisted, and our flirtatious dynamic continued.
Feb 8, 2023 I spent an hour on a video call with him on Discord. During our conversation, he casually mentioned missing seeing a certain physical attribute (due to Jennifer not having them - breasts), and without hesitation, I boldly showed him mine. The expression on his face made it clear that he appreciated the view, and I couldn't help but crave to see that look again. Additionally, he mentioned a dating website where I could find a picture of his penis, under the account name "[Removed for Privacy]" Unfortunately, that account has been deleted since then.
Feb 9, 2023 We had another video chat, but I was feeling down and ended up in tears. Unfortunately, he didn't offer much comfort and turned me down once more. After that encounter, I decided to take a step back for a while. He was preoccupied with getting The Outpost up and running, as well as finalizing the split from Clowns'R'Us.
March 12, 2023 It was Sunday. The Outpost was open. I don't recall who all was working other than Bobby, myself, and Richard. Tiffany was also there as it was the weekend. I was in the backroom untangling wires, and Richard came into the back and said something along the lines of "I wish I was at home in bed getting a blow job right now", so I replied with my willingness to help him out with the blow job. He looked around to figure out where we could do it without getting caught, as the store was open at the time (it was the middle of the afternoon). I personally had been thinking about parking somewhere on the way home, and doing it in the car. He didn’t seem to want to wait that long. In the end, he stood in front of the door to the backroom and I knelt in front of him. “Don’t tell anyone”, he told me. The whole thing only took like 30 seconds that time. He later blamed it on his bite injury causing him issues, but I honestly think it was mostly just nerves on both our parts. Although the encounter was short-lived, it left me contemplating whether it was due to performance issues or sheer desire on his part. He didn't even have time to get fully hard, and it left me believing he was kinda on the smaller side. When he's fully soft, his dick hides like a turtle. I think it's cute, lol. But he’s a grower, not a show-er. When he’s fully hard, it’s a decent size, I later learned.
Afterward, he admitted it was a mistake and promised it wouldn't repeat. Although I was saddened, I reluctantly accepted his explanation for a while. I confided in my best friend about the incident when it happened, but a few days later, I falsely claimed it never occurred, leading to a heated argument between us - our first major disagreement.
April 26, 2023 I overheard him make a comment to someone during the work day about missing titties. So after everyone else left for the night, and it was just me and him working, I offered to show him mine again. He accepted the offer. I begged him to touch me. He asked if he would get in trouble. I told him no. He took off his glasses and put his head in between them. Then he let me suck him off again. He lasted much longer this time. We both agreed afterwards that it was the last time.
May 3, 2023 Richard was giving me and the annoying kid a ride home. After he dropped the annoying kid off, I mentioned to him that I really didn't feel like going home yet, cause I didn't want to go home to an empty house. He suggested I could clean his bedroom for some extra cash. Jennifer was on her way to Chicago that night. We went to his apartment. I can't fully recall the timeline of events that night, so I'll try to get everything in order as best I can. I started tidying up his bedroom. He had me change the sheets on his bed, and afterwards he made a comment about how he should have asked me to clean naked. I sat on his bed while he talked to Jennifer on the phone for a bit, joking with her about K-pop music. Then he came back to his bedroom and shut and locked the door. I knew at that point that something would happen between us. I tried to kiss him, and he said he doesn't kiss. I asked him to finger me, and he said "no, because then I'll never get rid of you." He made a comment later about how he couldn't fuck me without a condom. Up to that point, I didn't think he'd even be willing to do so at all. After that I sat down, and reached to grab his dick cause I knew he was still willing to do something. He asked if I was trying to do what he thought I was trying to do. I said yes. He laid down on the bed and let me suck him. At one point, he grabbed his dick and had me suck on his balls. I had never done this before, or ever even been asked to do this before, so I did the best I could with it. He seemed to enjoy it. After he was done, he sat and played his new COD game for a few minutes, then took me home. We were at his apartment from 10:09 PM until 11:29 PM. I think this was the night I really started to fall in love with him.
May 19, 2023 I don't recall too many details about this time. We were in the backroom of the Outpost again. I showed him my tits and while I was sucking him off, he asked to fuck them. He was sitting in a chair, and I was kneeling in front of him, so it was exactly the best angle for doing it, but I did my best with it.
May 25, 2023 I don't recall too much about this time either. I believe I started it this time, asking him if he wanted anything, and he said "why not, after the day I've had" or something to that effect. This time he sucked on my tits. I then sucked him off again. Again, in the backroom of The Outpost. I think this was the time when I stopped towards the end cause I wanted to get a good look at his dick fully hard, because I was always too busy to get a good look when he was fully hard the last few times. I didn’t know he was about ready to cum. He grabbed my head and said “put it back in” and basically jammed it down my throat, lol. I enjoyed it though. After this though, he almost always grabbed my hair and held my head down as he was about to cum.
May 31, 2023 This time, again in the backroom of The Outpost, when I showed him my tits, he said "that's nice" and just wanted me to get down to sucking him, so I did. I don’t really remember too much about this time either. The memories all blurred together with time.
June 8, 2023 I was in the backroom, chatting with my husband on the phone, when Richard came in and sat next to me. From the way he looked at me, I knew exactly what he wanted without any need for discussion. I quickly ended my call with my husband, explaining that I had to finish cleaning some consoles. Seeing the newly installed camera in the backroom, I remarked about it to Richard, prompting him to unplug it. He mentioned we needed to hurry before Kevin came to the back, so I did my best to accommodate him swiftly. True to his word, Kevin was headed towards the backroom barely a minute after we finished.
June 13, 2023 Though I didn't know it at the time, this would be the last time for a while. He had already unplugged the camera when I figured he was wanting to do something. I made a comment about it, and he said he just didn't want to be watched by anyone. I can't recall exactly what I said, but he said something about "would it be so bad if we didn't do it" or something to that effect. He let me suck him off anyway though. I asked him again why he wouldn't kiss me, and he said he just didn't want to. I told him I wanted him, and he said I couldn't have him.
June 20, 2023 Jennifer chose to end her relationship with Richard by leaving a letter for him at The Outpost. Richard was deeply affected by the breakup and asked Bobby to give me a ride home that evening. Seeking clarification about our own relationship, I inquired about it, and Richard expressed his desire for us to remain just friends. Despite his stance, I held onto a glimmer of hope, purchasing condoms at the gas station that night, hoping for a possibility that he might reconsider. As time passed and it became apparent that my hopes were unfounded, I decided to leave the condoms in The Outpost bathroom for someone else to use or discard.
In the subsequent months, I confided in a handful of individuals about the events that transpired between us. As a consequence, he terminated my employment temporarily. Furthermore, he resorted to intimidation tactics, threatening to ostracize me from The Outpost community if I dared to disclose our truth to others. He concocted a fabricated narrative, alleging that I had initiated advances toward him, only to concoct falsehoods in a bid to extort him.
Let's examine the absurdity of his accusations. If indeed I were fabricating tales for the sake of manipulation, wouldn't it be far more sensational to claim a physical intimacy beyond reality? Instead, I recounted the truth: instances where I provided him with gratification without reciprocity, enduring his rejection of any emotional connection.
This isn't merely about defending my integrity; it's about unveiling the truth that has been obscured by his deceit.
Towards either the end of November or the beginning of December, I was working there a lot again.
December 18, 2023 We were in the backroom of The Outpost again. Everyone else had left for the night, and we were working quite late. I begged him to let me do it (suck him off) one last time. He asked if I was recording him on my phone because he didn't trust me. I unlocked my phone and handed it to him. He asked if I thought I was prettier than Jennifer because he had turned her down that night. He asked if I was prettier than Autumn because he also turned her down that night. In the end, he let me do it. I think maybe he forgot to unplug the camera. He asked me to show him my tits. This was around 3 AM on the morning of the 18th. After I sucked him for a bit, he sucked on my tits again, and I enjoyed it so much I almost came. I kept repeating his name over and over while he was doing it. Afterwards, we both agreed it was the last time. He told me that any man would accept a blowjob, but it doesn’t mean anything.
December 27, 2023 We were in the backroom of The Outpost again, but he had Tiffany (his daughter), so I really didn't expect anything to happen that night. We had done stuff one other time when Tiffany was there, I can't remember which time, but she was asleep on the couch that time, and this time she was wide awake. He asked her to go play Fortnite for a bit. Then he asked me if I was trying to do something. I said, sure, but Tiffany's here. He said we could go to the bathroom, but we had to stop if she came into the backroom. I went in there, and sat on the toilet while he stood. While I had his dick in my mouth, he asked me "you know, this still doesn't mean I'm into you, right?" I shook my head yes in response, as I had my mouth full at the time. His words hit me hard, and I couldn't hold back the tears when I got home. Despite my love for him, hearing those words while engaged in that act was incredibly painful.
January 3, 2024 This was the day Trina overfilled her car with oil. Richard was giving me a ride home, but we first had to follow his mechanic to Trina and Damian's car, and then follow the car back to his mechanics. While we were in the car, I told him that I didn't want to stop what we were doing, even if it was just that. He tried to say that we weren’t doing anything, but in the end we went and parked outside of his apartment, and he had him suck him off in his car. We stopped every time a car came in our direction. He came so hard I felt his whole body tense up. I remember being jealous, because I wanted him to make me cum like that. I wanted to tell him that it drove me crazy that he lets me do that, but I can't touch him at all when anyone else is around. I told him in the car on the way home that I'll quit asking him if I could do it, but I'd never tell him no. We were parked outside his apartment from 11:51 PM to 12:13 AM.
January 14, 2024 Tiffany was there again. Again, he asked me in the back if I was trying to do something. I said "If you want." He told me to go into the bathroom. He went to check on Tiffany and then came to meet me in the bathroom. He wasn't hard at all, and I actually had a little trouble finding it with my mouth this time. He mentioned that if I'm so good at it, why do I keep ignoring his balls. So I sucked on his balls again too.
January 24, 2024 I know he was starting to get bored with me, so I think he decided to try to switch things up a bit. He asked me if I was trying to do something. I responded again “if you want” and he said, “that’s not what I asked” so I reminded him that I wasn’t going to ask him again, but I wouldn’t ever say no. He turned off all the lights in The Outpost, and we went out and sat on the couch at the back of The Outpost. It was dark enough that nobody could see us and the mall was closed. He asked to fuck my tits again and I obliged. He told me he couldn't understand why I kept doing it. I didn't really have an answer for him at the time. I love him. That's why. But I couldn't tell him that again.
January 31, 2024 At the back of The Outpost again, with the lights out again. He tried to use the VR to watch porn at first, but with the lights out, using the VR wasn't really an option. He didn't know that I'd been fantasizing about doing just that for over a year, so I immediately started thinking of solutions to that issue. I sucked him off on the couch, and he again said he couldn't understand why I kept doing it. I told him because it's all he'd let me do. And I like knowing I can get him off. And that I enjoy it. It's fun. And he tastes really good.
February 6, 2024 I had ordered an infrared light on Amazon, to enable use of VR in the dark. I really wanted to live out my fantasy with him. I brought it into The Outpost and gave it to him as a gift. That night, he sat in his chair at the back of The Outpost with the lights out, watching porn on his VR while I sucked him off. Afterwards he said it was interesting. I asked if he had ever done that before, and he said no. I asked him if he enjoyed it and he said that to be honest, he was kinda getting bored, or something to that effect. In the car, on the way home, he told me that he needed me to quit. What we were doing, he clarified. I knew then that we were done, and that my days at work were probably numbered.
On Saturday, February 24th, 2024 he told me my services were no longer needed.
On March 16th, 2024 Richard has Bobby call me and ask if I want a job. I returned to work on March 17th, 2024. At this time, I am attempting to avoid being alone with Richard going forward.
March 26th, 2024 Richard scheduled me to work today, even though Bobby wasn’t working to give me a ride home, leaving Richard to give me a ride home. Tiffany was here, and everyone else had left for the night. We were in the backroom, and he said “I’m trying to decide - do I let her drain it or no” At first I said I didn't know. He asked if I was gonna get crazy again. I said I am crazy. But I said yes. We went to the bathroom and took care of business. He left the bathroom before I did because Tiffany had come into the backroom. I stood in the bathroom and waited for him to send Tiffany back to the front of the store for a bottle of water before I exited the bathroom.
April 6th, 2024 I was eating a pickle in the backroom. Richard came back to go to the bathroom. When he came out, I said to him “We’re done, right?” He was like “with what?” I’m like “You know what” and he said “yeah”, and I said “ok, I was getting bored too.” So I think it is finally over. Jennifer is coming back into town on April 7th, 2024, and they are planning on getting an apartment together.
April 19th, 2024 We were working late tonight, pricing out blu-rays and getting them listed on eBay. Richard’s phone went dead so we took a break and went into the backroom. As I’m writing this, my head is swimming and I’m exhausted because I just got home, but I’m trying to remember most of what happened. He’s like “we got 10 minutes until the phone charges, what do you want to do?” and I said I didn’t know. Then I think he asked what I was thinking about, and I said I was wondering if he wanted me to do something, and whether or not I should say yes, because I can’t keep giving and giving and not getting anything in return. He said he wasn’t touching my pussy. I asked him if he would at least kiss me. He said no, because he only does that with people he loves. But then he said he’d play with my boobs again. So I rolled my chair over to his and pulled my tits out for him to play with. I asked him if he wanted to see a pic of how big they used to be before my surgery, and he said yes, so I showed him the pic on my Discord server. Then he wanted to see what else was on that channel. I didn’t want to show him because I didn’t want him to be mad because it was the channel where I kept records of what me and him did. But I showed him and he made me delete them while he watched. I'm not surprised he made me do that. I kinda expected him to. Then we got back to fooling around, he sucked on my tits, then I started sucking him. He said he could get a blowjob every day, and it’s so relaxing. He mentioned that there was a gang bang that he had thought about taking me to, he thought I’d enjoy it. Then I stopped and told him I wanted to fuck him so bad. He said he didn’t know what I had or didn’t have. I told him I didn’t have anything. Then he made me pinky promise to never talk about it to anyone. And I got up, took off my skirt and panties and finally had sex with him for the first, and most likely last time. It didn’t last very long, I only got off once, then he made me climb off and he came all over the floor. Then we agreed to never talk about it again. In the car on the way home, I told him I’ll keep taking care of him until Jennifer comes back, if he wants, and it will stay between us. He said he’d let me know. So yeah, it’s not over just yet.
April 24th, 2024 We were alone at the store again. We were in the back room and he asked me if I meant what I said about keeping “draining him” until Jennifer gets back. I told him yes, and asked him where. He asked me where I wanted to. I immediately told him “the massage chair”, cause that’s been a fantasy of mine since he got the damn thing (I didn’t tell him that part though). He vetoed that because the cameras were on in the store. So I cleared off the chair in the backroom for him again. I asked him again if I could kiss him. He let me kiss him on the cheek. Then we got down to the usual business. He told me in the middle of it that I didn’t seem to be too bored with it. LOL. In the car on the way home, I asked him if he’s a sex addict. He said he’s not. He says he just has “stress issues”. I’m not really sure what to make of that.
May 6th, 2024 We were getting ready to leave for the night, it was around 1 A.M. and after he shut off all the store lights, he stopped in the doorway and asked if I wanted it. I said sure, and so with all the lights still out, I asked if the massage chair was working. So we went back into the store to check. It wasn’t working, so we went back into the backroom with all the lights off. I took my time with it, cause I know we are running out of time. In the car on the way home, I told him again that I do just want to be friends with him. Then I told him that “pequeña polla” means little dick, and he said he’s only small for people he doesn’t like, lol. I then asked him if he lost a couple inches when he gained all the weight. He said that he had. I said “thought so”.
While the essence of what I shared remains true, there might be some slight discrepancies in the timing of events. Conversations and interactions may have taken place on different dates than initially recalled, but the substance of our experiences remains consistent. I kept a record of every time we messed around and the dates it happened, all on my private Discord channel. I have ways of proving I was where I said I was, when I said I was.
I composed this document not as a means to coerce Richard, but rather to address the truth of our situation. My aim isn't to extract anything from him; all I seek is for him to acknowledge his role in this matter. Admittedly, my involvement with him was misguided, a lapse in judgment on my part. Yet, it's essential to recognize that his involvement was equally misguided—he pursued it as eagerly as I did. However, the crux of the issue lies in my feelings; I fell deeply in love, a sentiment not reciprocated by him. Throughout our interactions, there were moments where I felt manipulated, even gaslit. Still, despite these red flags, my affection persisted.
From the onset, Richard professed care for me, yet reiterated his lack of attraction. I was fully aware that I was being used, yet I allowed it to happen repeatedly. This admission isn't an attempt to manipulate or victimize but rather to confront the stark reality of our dynamic. It's time for Richard to acknowledge the impact of his actions and the emotional toll it took on me. Let's address this with honesty and integrity, for only through acknowledgment can we begin to heal and move forward.
Certain portions were refined by ChatGPT, acknowledging my occasional struggle with articulation, yet maintaining the utmost accuracy in depicting the sequence of events.

I've posted this last year and some things happened which made me quite proud and I'd like to share how things went. So recap and then update:
So... When I was little, I lived with my mom and stepdad, things were great and we were very happy. Then my mom passed when I was 7y, so I moved with my father and stepmom, things were complicated. Currently, I have no contact with him (he's not a good man nor a good dad), and I live with my aunt (since 2018) and her husband (he came along in 2019).
Me and my aunt had an amazing relationship, she was my favourite aunt and all that. However, things started to go wrong when I started living with her, I made the mistake of answering that yes, I wanted to be treated like her daughter along with her 2 sons (one my age and the other 3 years younger). I had a desperate "need" for a mothefather. She became a kind of "maunt" (mother+aunt), and her husband a "stepdad"... Oh how do I regret this
Well, she has a favourite son, the oldest. He's lazy, arrogant, disrespectful, a typical golden boy who got spoiled his whole life and now he doesn't give a damn about anything other than himself.
For being the other woman in the house, she constantly pushes house chores to me, instead of the boys (subconsciously, i believe), pretty much only asks me about things, where her sons are, if the dogs were fed, if the boys cleaned well whatever room they were supposed to, stuff like that, and she's also constantly very, very rude to me (at the point of her husband arguing with her about it). And I got this whole syndrome of everything being my responsibility and anxiety when it comes to her, which became extremely exhausting over the years.
I came out to her about my bissexuality about 4 years ago, i thought she would take it well. She didn't. She masks her disapproval, but she clearly doesn't like it. I was really let down, I genuinely thought she would be supportive and everything we expect, but she first got confused, then annoyed and has said some very hurtful thing over the years. Currently I have a gf (she's 22 years old), we've been dating for over a year. They don't like each other very much, my gf doesn't like her because of all the things she does to me. And my aunt doesn't care about my gf at all because... well, she a girl.
Ok, that's the context. Now here's what happened.
My aunt send some kind of agressive messages over something silly, and that caused my anxiety on fire for the gazillionth time, only that time I had enough. I called my other aunt (by consideration, she's married to my grandad) and asked for help (she knows everything that goes on), if i could move in with them, she said yes. I then replied my aunt with a text saying i had enough and would move in with my grandad. She got upset and said (among other things) that "i had her blessing to leave, even though i didn't ask for it". She called my grandma (we are very close), and my grandma sent me some awful audios of how disappointed she was, how I made my aunt sad, of what would people think, that i used to be such a sweet girl and now this, of how loving is a choice and i chose not to love my aunt, stuff like that. Aunt and her husband went to dinner with my grandad that night without my presence, and told them we had an amazing relationship, that she didn't knew what happened, that my problem was I couldn't take a "no" for an answer, etc.
Two days later, we sat down to talk, she told me to start, I said all I wanted. She then started saying how that kind of thing should not have been adressed through text (which I agree, but I had to text or I'd freak out), that she was harder on me than the boys because (in another words) the world was rough and she loved me the most.
And then her husband also spoke about how he understands both sides and blablabla, and said that i could go to my grandad, but that they felt like i should understand that i would only go because THEY allowed, if they didn't wanted, i would not go, no matter what my grandparents or aunt (grandad's wife) said. He basically wanted to state their power position.
(Since my mother's death, my whole family on her side feel responsible for me, so i see all of them in the same way. None of them are my mom and dad, they are in the same "level" to me and have the same "right"... Him saying that made me burn inside, like they're entitled to me, I don't belong to them or anyone. They're my aunt and "uncle", that's about it, they think they have something on me that they... Don't)
And then my aunt said that I could go, as long as I told my grandad about my sexuality and girlfriend. Now... He's kind of old fashioned and i'm scared he'll reject me... We have an amazing relationship, I have lunch with them every wednesday, and I'm the closest grandkid he has (the others aren't so invested). So I don't know if I tell him the truth and manage to leave (depending on his reaction) or if I don't risk it and stay in the toxic enviroment i'm in.
UPDATE - 14/05/2024
Hello! So, things got much worse before they got better. Let's give them names so the story telling will be easier, let's call my girlfriend Bea, my aunt Leah, her husband James and my "aunt" (my grandad's wife) Rachel.
I basically swallowed my anger because I couldn't bring mysef to speak to my grandad about my sexuality, my grandparents are the most important people in my life as they've always been there for me and I was terrified to be disliked by him. That was until december.
Early december I was leaving for work and before I left, I tried to "notify" my aunt that Bea would be spending Christmas and New Years with me and my siblings (note: my siblings had been looking forward to her being there, specially my brother and my SIL (Luke and Lyla), they made it a question that she'd go. I have 3 paternal siblings, so there's NO relation between them and my aunt Leah. We'd be staying in a city 3 hours away from mine at my brother and SIL's house, every year we do this). She immediately said "you know I don't like this", I said "yes", she then said "good morning" and I left for college.
The next morning, I was eating before going to work and Leah started talking about it and we started a conversation that developed into a fight. She said things like how dare I "notify" her, how that's not how things work and that it would not happen because THEY (she and James) don't feel confortable with this, how THEY think Luke wouldn't like this because "no one likes to have people over for a week" (he and Lyla were super pumped for Bea to go), how THEY don't know my girlfriend enough (come on, we had been dating for over a year already), how THEY wouldn't like me going with her to a stranger's house (in complete disregard to my point of view, it's my freaking brother, whom they met a couple times btw, not a stranger. But to them, the only meaninful point of view was theirs). She had even called my brother to basically "check my story", like?? She also said that we we're only teenagers (seriously, 22 and 20) , and I said "no, she isn't and neither am I!", she said she didn't say Bea was, I then said "and neither am I", she said I was, because I didn't act like and adult, then I got mad and talked about how I do literally everything around the house, always walk the dogs even when I get home tired at 10PM, even though they got there at 7PM, I help with groceries purchase, pay the water bill, clean the house, do the chores her boys lack to do, and when I'm not home, I'm either at work or college, but when she disagrees about something, she just puts me back in the "teenager box". And in the end, she said that my raising was not like this, this made me laugh in anger inside, she's been with me for 5 years, I'm 20 lol.
So that was it, I left for work and got a text from her, apologizing for being rough, saying that she loved me and wanted it to work, that they wanted to talk to me when I got home. I replied saying the same.
Later that day when we were all home, we gathered in the living room, I was literally against the wall and it intimidated me deeply. James started saying how much they loved me and wanted to see me happy, as they want that for all their children (aunt Leah has 2 boys, my cousins, and James has 3 girls). I then talked and expressed how I was feeling, then Leah started talking and basically said in a nicer tone the same things she said earlier, plus how they want me to be happy and want things to work for me, but they think it's too soon, they believe it's not the right time, they they, and therefore, despite being against what they want, I could take Bea, but only in ONE of the two holidays, which I could choose. I was in a bit of a shock (you see, me and Bea had bought the bus tickets a while earlier), had no support, against the wall, I was feeling purely defeated and tired, I only said "Christmas then...", she then said we would sleep in separate rooms and would not go on the 22th after work because "she had already allowed an extra night by allowing her to stay there until the 25th". I stayed in silence, they asked if there was anything I'd like to add, I said no. It wasn't a conversation, in no moment did they actually listened and considered me, they had their minds set way before we sat to talk. I went to my room and rolled all night in pure anxiety. This was thursday
Friday I was a wreck and went to Bea's house to check on her (she was sick that week) and to talk to her about what happened. She noticed something was off, I told her, she got mad and sad, we cried, etc. I went home feeling awful, my anxiety had been 100% all day long and I was in a really bad place and feeling deeply frustrated.
Saturday I woke up worse and decided that I had enough and was not having that anymore. I went outside and called grandad, talked about how I wasn't feeling well and asked what did he think about me leaving home, he said that their doors were always open and that I could just tell my aunt that "I was going to live with my grandad and that was it". I reframed the question asking what he though about me leaving to live alone, he then got worried and said that he didn't think that was necessary, that I had them and didn't need to do that. He then asked me to come over and talk to him and aunt Rachel. I accepted and told aunt Leah I'd sleep at grandad's.
I got there and ate a bit because I didn't want them extra worried, although I felt like throwing up at every bite. Everyone went to sleep and so did I. I woke up a bit later feeling worst, that's when I started to throw up, there was barely anything in my stomach and all I could do was throw up.
The next morning I was better and had already told aunt Rachel about what had happened, she found it absurd how things went (she had met Bea a while back and they clicked very well) and was upset about the things aunt Leah said. I decided to talk to grandad, I couldn't disappear with the subject again, specially now that he was worried sick about me.
So... I sat on the couch and told him what was happening, explained everything, told him that I'm like his stepson's MIL (she's married to a woman. It was the easiest way I found to introduce the topic), told him everything. He asked what I wanted him to do about it, I said that I just wanted him to still love me the same and remain normal with me, that I am still the same person and have always been this way, he just didn't knew about it, but that it changes nothing about me. Aunt Rachel then joined us and asked what he was thinking about it (she knows everything and is amazing to me), he said he wasn't pleased, but that it was my life and he had no say in it and that I should do what's right for me, said that if I wasn't gonna change, then neither would he. But basically, he got much more worried about my mental health than my sexuality, he said that the doors were still open and always would be for me, that he thought I needed a home and thinks they can offer me that. Aunt Rachel said that they wouldn't be obsessive after me, demanding to know every step I take and bossing everything like Leah did, that I have my graduation, I work, make my own money, am responsible, have my own life and am not a child, I'm a 20 year old adult and they would treat me as such.
So that was it. I went back "home" muchhh more confident and waited until nightfall because everyone was having a good time and I didn't want to spoil that. I realized aunt Leah and James were awake and went to talk to them, and that, my friends, is when hell went loose.
I started by saying I talked to my grandad about Bea and my sexuality, Leah asked how it went and I said it was great. Then I said they could talk to him (since they wanted to "decide" with him about my going), she said ok and asked when I wanted to go, I said that it could be in the same week since I was on vacation from college, she frowned, stood firmly and said "you know this won't change our decision about the holidays, right?" then it went boom, I said I didn't agree with them and that it wasn't right for them to dictate about such things. Told them their values and beliefs don't have to be mine, Leah asked "WHY NOT?", then I replied "because I have my own!".
Told them they were controlling and that made their kids lie to them, that since they liked to compare raisings (they criticized Bea's mom's raising because she gives her kids freedom to live their lives and fully trusts), then fine, I went on to say how Bea and her mom have an amazing relationship, full of love and trust, how Bea turned up great, works hard, just made it to psicology at university, helps immensely at home, and so has her sister. As for theirs? They raised their kids poorly, they are overbearing and that makes their kids not trusting them and lying a lot because of this necessity of them to control everything. I stated that the raising they gave their children was not my own, that I had multiple raisings and that no, they didn't "raise" me, I'm 20 and they've been with me for 5 years. Said that was clear, just look at the difference between me and her boys (I won't delve into this bit because it's not relevant, but the difference is nitid).
They said I couldn't take a no for an answer and that was my dad's fault, I said they didn't know what they were talking about, I know how it actually went whilst they made a story in their heads and believe it's the truth, since I knew how my dad used to tell my family one thing and do another.
They (again) said they wouldn't treat me like an adult because I did nothing to behave like one, I said that they didn't treat me as I deserved and they would always put me in the "teenager box" whenever I acted differently to what they thought was right (but I was adult enough to lend James almost 1k without Leah's knoledge lol).
She obviously tried to blame Bea, saying she was putting things in my head and that the last conversation was fine and now I was throwing a fit, I said that I said nothing else then because I felt cornered and realized it wasn't a conversation, it was them simulating one only to tell me what they were going to all along.
I told them they didn't know Bea because they didn't want to and I wasn't confortable bringing her as it was an enviroment unwelcoming to her, she then asked if i would go another year like this until I "felt confortable", I said yes, if that's what it took, that I didn't really need to introduce anyone if I didn't felt comfortable to it.
She once demanded to go meet Bea, after throwing a fit at my BIRTHDAY because Bea planned a day for me and my MIL wanted to make me lunch and they weren't invited, it was super uncomfortable. My aunt described this day as uncomfortable, in this argument I said "and about that day you guys met Bea and her mom? It was uncomfortable? OF COURSE it was, I TOLD you it would be! I told you that was barging in and no one wanted it!". Which Leah said that no, that wasn't the uncomfortable part, the uncomfortable was how Bea was "daring her, being all over me and kissing me in front of her, that she had to be respected!".... Lol, the being "all over me" was me shaking from the anxiety and Bea holding me to keep me in my feet, the "kissing" was ONE greeting kiss. And Bea did nothing "daring" towards Leah, believe me, if she had, aunt Leah would definitely know lol.
At the end, they asked if I was taking Bea, I said, yes, Leah said no, since she called my brother and told him how "things would go down" (amazes me everytime I remember this, she wanted to dictate how the holidays would go IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE). Lol, my brother was just texting me saying how Bea could go spend the whole holiday and we'd just say she left after Christmas. So it wasn't a very good argument on Leah's end. I said it was my business and I was sorry, but it was MY brother, MY family, MY relationship, MY life, and it wasn't up for them to dictate on it, they shouldn't feel comfortable or uncomfortable since it had NOTHING to do with them, and that my family who mattered in this were not only comfortable but very excited for Bea's presence.
I told them I knew I wasn't wrong since grandad and aunt Rachel agreed with me, so they could go ahead and talk to them if they wanted to. They ended up showing me their tumb and I left for my room.
Aunt Leah left to grandad's house in like, 5 minutes, cried to him and all. She got back, went in my room and in an ironic tone, said "sorry, I know I'm not your mother, stay with your raisings, I'm just glad and relieved my father wasn't as ok as you thought (her saying this seriously hurt me), he accepted for reasons ans beliefs he has, so go ahead and pack your bags this week, you're free to go. Sorry for the flaws, I was trying to get it right, be careful when you take that sticker off, don't ruin the painting." aaand she left.
The next day, grandad came and we took 90% of my stuff and I started officially living with him and aunt Rachel. Christmas was a bit awkward (my maternal family does this early Christmas so everyone's free on the 24th), but I was glooming feeling like the weight of the world had left my shoulders.
So... I went with Bea to spend the holidays with my family, my siblings, my SIL's parents and even my 1 year old nephew absolutely adored Bea, they now ask about her even before asking about me lol. My paternal grandmother loved her and was amazing, told my aunt (her daughter) that Bea was adorable and loving. It was amazing and I cannot imagine 2023 Christmas and New Year without Bea with us, she added sooo much.
Recently we've been to Luke's and Lyla's at Easter and made Easter eggs together, watched movies, went out, went to a family gathering where Bea, my uncles, cousins and grandmother (who was really happy to see her since Bea couldn't go to her birthday because she had to work) all got along really well.
We see each other frequently, living with grandad and aunt Rachel has been amazing, I'm finally gaining weight! MANY people have noticed it and it quite frankly scared me a bit, I had no idea it was so evident. But yeah, I'm doing great!
Grandad isn't ready to deal with this, so we don't talk about it. He doesn't like it and doesn't really understands, but he's doesn't meddle. Grandma (maternal) texted these days wanting to meet Bea (finally!), since she found out through aunt Rachel that me and Bea are still together and going strong for 1 year and a half already. I think she took it seriously now.
Anyway, it was hell, lol. But things turned out alright! Thank you for the people who commented in my first post, it was nice reading the comments and taking the options into consideration!

I come from a stricter family. Not the point of helicopter parenting but hella close at times. Around 4th grade I started to sneak out, just walk around the neighborhood at night, somedays I would lie to my parents about studying at a friend's and instead meet up with a partner or group to wander around for fun. Just getting out of the house sort of stuff. I value my privacy, and have rarely put myself into dangerous situations willingly. My girlfriend, "G" is opposite, she has parents who allow her to do pretty much anything. Her family all smokes weed, even herself, she's been out to her family since she first liked a girl, and G is just overall given freedoms that I dream of. However, it hasn't always been this way. G's parents used to fight a lot and her older sister often harasses her. She's currently living with 7 family members and 12 pets in a two story house, meaning there's zero space and everyone knows everyone's business.
A few weeks ago she asked me out over text. I semi-expected it because of our increasing interactions and subtle hints from both directions. We started dating and all was well, really. But G has been a bit too much for me. I'll just bullet down some recent issues.

• G constantly talks about us during college or getting married.
• She told her parents immediately that we were dating before I even knew, I'm not against it but as someone who's not yet out to my parents, it's given me a lot of anxiety.
• In the month we've been dating, I've spent every lunchtime with her. It's caused me to actually start separating from my friend group, but everytime I bring it up, it gets shot down.
• G can be very showy in public. She's akin to a teachers pet, and I loved her confidence but after dating she's started squealing, randomly talking loudly, or running up to hug me, and its a lot for me because I don't like having attention on me.
• She told me she's only had "bad exes"
• This is going to make me sound like an a**hole, but she's pretty slow. It takes her a while to understand any jokes, it's a struggle to help her in school, and since I used to study with the previously mentioned friend group at lunch, it's even harder for me to study.
• It feels like I'm the mature one. G is very childish at times and doesnt regulate her emotions well, which leaves me to regulate hers and mine just to avoid fighting.

These are a few of the reasons why I'm uncomfortable around her. I really do want to date her, she's been kind and thoughtful so far, but I'm just not myself with her. I should mention that G has autism and is on medications since beginning of this year. I like her for her personality and this is really dampening my feelings. Should I tell her, if so, how????

I (m25) have been lifting and dieting since almost 14 (hs football freshman camp) and when I finished playing hs football I have taken an interest in bodybuilding. I’ve been doing natural shows for almost half a decade (1 first overall junior debut, 3 top 3 finishes) over the last 2 years I have ate right and lifted like my life depended on 5-6 days a week (as well as the other years) but have seen such little progress that I’m considering quitting. My squat and bench have gone up <10 lbs in the last 13 months and I’ve wanted to be an ifbb pro for almost 4 years now. I am well educated, trust me, the only thing that’s been on my mind for the last decade is building muscle mass efficiently. And have even hired a coach (ifbb pro in classic physique) for 6 months without telling anyone. I want to go to the next level as I feel like my natural ceiling is coming to a close and I want to be successful and do something in a field I’ve dedicated so much time and effort to (don’t smoke, I’ve had 1 beer on my 21st bday, and I track my calories and macro nutrients every day) I’ve been lifting and watching my nutrition for a decade+ but the only issue is my gf has stated she will leave if I start taking gear. And my parents won’t look at me the same. I have dreams and don’t want to waste basically what’s supposed to be the “fun age” in life but I don’t want to hurt people that care about me and Iike I said I’m well educated, I know the risks of each compound and absolutely will collaborate with any necessary medical professional.
TLDR: wants to take peds as an experienced bodybuilder and lifter but loved ones disagree.

Gonna preface this by saying we are both dating for marriage in the next 6 months, she is perfect in everyway for me, imagine the person of your dreams, now that's her. Her work is very stressful shes an emergency hospital nurse in a rough part of town working 12 hour shifts from 3pm-3am
We've been talking for about 2 months now with very little physical intimacy so things don't lead to sex. We talked about how we both USED to smoke, well Yesterday while laying on the couch together we kissed for the first time and thats when I tasted weed/cigarettes. I asked her about it and she acted dumb until she eventually confessed that she smokes about 3 times a week after her shifts at the hospital. The fact that I was with her 2 days straight before kissing her tells me she probably smokes more than that but who knows. The reason she kept it from me is because she planned on quitting the habit once we got married because I would allow her to work a less stressful schedule and location. Personally I'm not a fan of habitual smoking, once in a while doesn't bother me but multiple times a week can be worrisome also I don't like the smell/taste of it from her mouth. Should I just trust that she will give it up?
I completely understand why she smokes and told her to do whatever keeps her sane, but once her life does get easier I expect her to quit which she planned on doing before I found out. Now the question is should I trust that?
One more thing to mention she divorced her ex for drinking, smoking, and doing hard drugs but after she started this job she started smoking to cope with the stress with intentions of giving it up once her life normalized.

Part 5
Gerard, God
Somewhere in time and space
He watched the passers-by as they moved about, following their daily routines, unaware of the fate that would shortly befall them. This was the time that fascinated Him the most. The moments before they finally understood that The Threat was here.
It was a sort of last hurrah, He thought. They didn't know it, but Gerard could nonetheless sense a sort of joi de vivre, a liveliness that simply didn't exist in prior times, and couldn't possibly exist in future ones. He watched mothers dote lovingly over their children, watched children hurl themselves into play with abandon, watched addicts take in their drugs like a drowning man would gulp for air. They might not known that there was no tomorrow for most of them, but they nonetheless seemed to put just a little bit of extra effort into everything.
Eventually, it came to an end, of course. It always did, no matter how many times He watched it. He saw happiness and mundanity give way to pain and suffering. Laughter was replaced by the screams of the dying. Life was replaced by death. The world replaced by destruction.
He sighed, leaving this timeline. He never watched the arrival of The Threat twice in the same timeline. There was nothing for Him to learn that way. His power was immense and total. He only had to witness The Threat once in each timeline to understand it.
Worst of all was the knowledge. The knowledge that He would only be able to save a single timeline. That all others would fall into ruin, destroyed and left to rot away. Only one could survive; the one that He chose. He could stop The Threat only once, for doing so would require Him to remain. Ever vigilant, ever ready to stop any recurrence.
He had to choose which timeline. That task was less than He feared, for now he knew that there were an infinite number of them. He could choose one with the right qualities, one whose nature would aid Him in His work. He realized then that He would, once He had chosen the proper timeline, finally watch The Threat come twice. Once, when He reviewed that timeline prior to choosing. And again, when He would stop it.
And stop it, He would. No other outcome was acceptable. He had already sacrificed too much. His mortality, His life, His happiness, His very soul itself. He had wrought Himself into a weapon, to strike down The Threat, and He would fulfill that purpose, no matter what.
----
Jerry Williams, Godslayer
Nibiru
We were sharks, swimming and darting among a school of fish. Gods and devas fled, screaming in terror as we flew through the swirling, chaotic energies that should have driven us -or at least my wife and daughter- mad within seconds. They had thought that their realm protected them.
Little did they know, we were already mad.
Inanna and I flanked a group of fleeing gods, preventing them from leaving this world, extending their essence into manifested bodies somewhere in one of the countless material worlds, or simply crossing the energy that was the core of their beings into the Spirit World. Here, in Nibiru, our divinities and demi-divinities gave us access to unlimited power. We seized it and wove nets with which to entrap those minor gods who could not find escape elsewhere, and had huddled here in fear of our coming.
As the group fled, we sped up, curving our course, which caused them to curve theirs, fearful of drawing too close to either of us. We moved slowly, carefully, angling them where we wanted them to go.
It wasn't long before the gaping maw of the Grandfather of the Gods came into view. Ixlublotl, the primordial god, the originator of divinity. The gods we herded realized their peril and turned to flee back the opposite direction, but there they found Aaina, burning towards them, screaming in rage and bristling with offensive energies.
Trapped, they had no choice. They attacked us. Emotions and thoughts, energy and matter, all of it flew at us in an orgy of sudden violence that churned the substrate of this world into a screaming chaos. All three of us linked our magics into a shield; a half-sphere of anti-magic that absorbed their attacks, sending the energy of which they were made back into into the swirling chaos around us.
They threw everything they had at us, a desperate last stand, driven by necessity and panic. All of it crashed against our defenses, the resulting streamers of magic filling the space around us with an all but impenetrable cloud. Hidden by that cloud, Ixy closed in.
By the time they realized that it was too late, it was over.
Ixy's physical body, that cloud-wrapped cacophony of maw-stalks, eye-stalks, spider-like legs and whipping tentacles, currently the size of a skyscraper, swept in, mouths snapping up the energies that were the cores of our quarry.
We came together when it was done. Inanna created a haven for us, allowing us to release the magic that held our bodies in stasis and protected us from the wild magic all around. It was a copy of our house, something she'd come up with a while back and shown to me with great pride. I had loved it, of course.
I sank into the loveseat with Inanna next to me as Aaina took the recliner.
"That's most of them," Aaina said.
"About thirty more," I replied. "And then we can start the next phase."
"Do either of you have any doubts about what we're doing?" she asked. I could see the indecision in her eyes. She was so young, and such a good girl. My heart broke at having dragged her into such dirty business.
"No," Inanna answered, her voice hard and confident.
"Yes," I added. "But at the end of the day, this is what needs doing."
Aaina looked back and forth between us, then nodded. None of us smiled.
----
Emily Windham, Wizard, Artificer
Fremont, Nebraska, at the corner of E 4th Ave and N Main St
Emily turned just in time to see the massive troll hit Jim Carmichael with a shoulder, sending the trooper flying before angling at her with no change in speed.
Acting on pure instinct, she conjured a wall of force between them. The troll slammed into it, shattering the magics that held it together with raw force, but the wall did its job, stopping the warrior in his tracks.
Emily snatched the rune-engraved knife off her belt and surged forward, jumping at the last second to put her in range of the troll's huge neck. The blade plunged in, and she released a quick burst of magic that made her legs and off hand sticky, allowing her to cling to the thing, too close for it to use its battleaxe on her.
She ripped the knife out and plunged it in again and again as the barbarian roared in pain and indignation at being hurt so badly by a foe so tiny. Emily grabbed his beard, yanking hard to bring his eyes to hers as she slammed the knife in and twisted, the magic in the blade telling her when it found his windpipe and carotid artery.
Blood sprayed, coating her face and shoulders. The troll's roars were cut off in a gurgling, breathy hiss. He stumbled, then fell. Emily rode him down, her eyes locked onto his, watching all hopes of victory, or even survival, fade from them. She lost herself in those eyes, in the mystery that was this troll's life, ending right before her. She saw the regrets, the crushed hopes, the shame of defeat and wondered at the context.
The impact as they hit the ground broke the spell.
Emily released the magic and stood up, instincts trained into her by the security troops and war wizards making her search for more threats before she could even process what had just happened. But there were no more threats. That had been the last one.
Greg Ramirez walked towards her, his rifle barrel pointed down, hanging from the sling in front of his armor and all the various attachments that he and the security troops referred to as their 'battle rattle'.
"Nice work," he said, eyeing the troll, who continued to gasp for air, the sound of his labored breaths reminding Emily of a pig squealing. She looked down, searching for that orgasmic feeling her bio-dad had so desperately wanted her to share with him, but not finding it. All she found was a sense of satisfaction, yet even that was too much.
Years of therapy, of telling her story to trained clinicians and listening to and internalizing their advice. All of it had helped her make friends and move among the normal people, but it had never erased that feeling of satisfaction. This was the fourth time she'd killed a sentient being, and each time, she felt the exact same way. It was a victory.
Her maudlin thoughts were interrupted by the bark of Greg's rifle. The troll's head jerked and deformed, a splattering of blood coming out as a .277 fury round drilled a hole straight through his temples. She glanced up to find Greg still eyeing her.
"You did good," he said, his expression showing some concern.
"I liked it," she said quietly, her eyes turning back.
"You liked killing him?" Greg asked. Emily nodded, wondering if she'd always be fucked up.
"I killed him," Greg said. "And I damn sure liked it."
Emily turned back, eyeing him with some interest. Greg was, in many ways, the opposite of her. Cool, confident, charming and just all-around well-adjusted. She hadn't ever imagined that he wound enjoy something like this.
"It means I won," he explained. "It means that big, badass motherfucker showed up here trying to bully us, and take whatever he wanted from us, and little old me stood up and said 'no', and when he tried to force the issue, I took his life away. It feels like justice. It feels like one less motherfucker trying to kill me and my friends. Damn straight I liked it."
Emily smiled. She didn't realized she had smiled until Greg smiled back.
"I read your psych eval," he went on. "I know you think you're fucked in the head, but I'm gonna tell you right now, you're not. You're a warrior, that's it. Bloodlust isn't a bad thing, if it can be controlled. Enjoying killing isn't a bad thing, if you're killing the people that need killing. Give yourself a break, girl."
He clapped her on the shoulder, then took the back of her head with his free hand and pressed her forehead to his.
"I'm gonna recommend you be allowed to join the war wizard roster. You're all trained up, you're prepared for it, and from what I've seen today, you're a fucking natural."
Without waiting for a response, he let her go and turned away, grabbing the radio fob on his armor and squeezing it.
"Black Lead, this is Black-Two Actual. All raiders at the target site are neutralized. We're commencing a sweep now, will report back in thirty mikes."
Emily smiled at his back as he walked away. A part of her reflected that he was a natural leader, knowing exactly what to say to her in that moment. Another part didn't care, because it worked. She glanced down at the troll again, and didn't see a victim.
She saw a victory.
----
Kathy Evenson, Professional
Somewhere in the ruins of an ancient city in the Seventh World
Kells shifted nervously as Kathy continued to cut chits from the electrical panel lid with the magical laser emerging from her fingertip. He held his machete, really a short sword, in one hand, and his dagger in the other.
"We really shouldn't be much longer, Kath," he said. Kathy had explained to him the difference between Kath and Kathy, and even hinted at the things she'd done while possessed by Pissface and calling herself 'Kath', and even gone into some detail about how much she hated the nickname. Kells hadn't cared. He simply agreed with her, then continued to call her 'Kath'.
And the truth was, she really didn't mind that much.
She wasn't quite sure why, though she could hazard a guess. The man was disarming to a great degree. He presented himself as a dirty wanderer, a simple, violent man who shouldn't be trusted as far as you could throw him. But within just a few minutes of meeting him, she'd seen the intelligence in his eyes and words. She had seen the integrity in his negotiations with her, and the ethics that had turned him protective when the Searchers had appeared.
And despite that protectiveness, he still managed to avoid being patronizing. When she'd told him how she planned to get his chits, he had warned her of the dangers, then agreed to come along without hesitation when she didn't change her mind. Kells was a good man, she thought, and if a good man wanted to call her Kath, she supposed she could let him reclaim the name from the hell it had once represented.
"It won't be much longer," she said. She already had over seven hundred, and this plate would bring her to eight hundred. She only needed five or six more. This deep in the ruins, there was an untouched electrical box on almost every building. Some had been corroded, but most were surprisingly intact.
As she cut the final strip into chits, a roar sounded. It was a gurgling, rasping roar, unlike anything she had ever heard before. Or rather, the first one had been unlike anything she had ever heard before. This was the third time she'd heard it, and it sounded closer than the last two.
"That's no good sign, right thur," Kells said.
Kathy finished, dumping the little squares of galvanized steel into her bag and standing up.
"Come on," she said. "We'll go a couple blocks away from whatever that was before I cut the next one."
"Aye," Kells agreed, his head swiveling on his shoulders as he followed her down the alley. Kathy took note of how spooked he was. He seemed more nervous here than he had with the Searchers right in front of him. She supposed that might have something to do with the nature of the threats. The Searchers were, regardless of power and reputation, mere humans. Whereas whatever was making that roar was clearly some sort of monster.
She led him six blocks in a direction away from the roar before she stopped to examine the buildings. They had moved into a downtown area, which was one of the reasons she had stopped. The buildings here were closer together, which should make the rest of her task quicker. She found a good cover and ripped the little padlock off, then pulled it open and off its hinges.
A mass of spiders rushed out of the electrical box. She jerked her hand away, but they ignored her, scurrying down the wall and vanishing into the cracks between the bricks, safe once again in enclosed darkness.
She began to cut as Kells again stood watch.
She hadn't even made it halfway through the panel when another roar sounded, even closer than the last, and from a different direction.
"Call it," Kells said. "Call it now, Kath. Better ye collect some more later on than deal with the beast makin' them sounds."
"What kind of beast?" Kathy asked. She kept cutting, but glanced up and around, not seeing anything but filthy, dilapidated alleys.
"Walkers, they call 'em," Kells said. "Like great spiders, but rottin' away, with bones stickin' out an' flesh hangin' off th'legs."
"Great spiders?" Kathy asked. "How big?"
"Bigger'n a building."
"You've seen them yourself?" Kathy asked.
"Only once," Kells said, his voice growing quieter. He seemed to be done speaking for a moment, staring around. But after a few seconds, he continued.
"Friend o'mine, name o' Gil. We used t'work together, he an' I. I were real new to runnin' a caravan crew back then, about ten years back. Gil were an old hand at it, though. Took me under 'is wing and taught me th'roads, as it were.
"Anyways, we'd taken a pair o' contracts. Rough ones, with a tight timetable. Merchants needed t'get to Freeman's Port post-haste. One faster'n th'other. Gil took that one, left me with the easier one, though that weren't t'say it were an easy job.
"We was in Craster's Holdfast at th'time, an smack in between there an' Freeman's Port were an ancient ruin. Big one, 'bout the size o' this'un, in fact. Normally, it took about a week t'travel between the two places, but if one were brave or foolhardy enough, they could cut through th'ruins an' make it in five days.
"Well, old Gil had that in mind. We left together, an' at th'place where ye normally would turn north t'go around the ruins, he led his caravan on straight. I prayed fer their safety that night, but never really believed anything would happen. Gil were an experienced caravaner, an' tougher'n anyone else I'd ever met.
"Two days later, we was walkin' this ridgeline north o'the ruins when somethin' called out t'me. Not sure what, exactly. I started lookin' south, scannin' the ruins, an' sure enough, I found Gil's caravan, walking down a wide road between th'largest buildings. They was movin' at quite a clip, I hav'ta say.
"I were tickled pink, at first. Because we'd made near as good a time as they had, despite movin' almost a day's north to skirt th'ruins. But as I watched, I realized that they weren't just travelin', they was runnin'."
Kells sighed, his eyes distant and full of old regrets.
"That's when I saw one. A great Walker, striding out o' th'deepest part o' th'ruins. The way it moved were like nothin' I ever seen before. It crawled along th'sides o' the ruins themselves, like a spider almost, but always with two or three feet on th'ground.
"It came fer th'caravan, and fell on 'em in a slaughter. I watched it breathe fire down on 'em, stompin' men flat with its feet an' scooping 'em up with its great claws."
He sighed again, then looked down. He tucked his sword under his armpit and used his hand to rub his eyes for a moment, before taking the blade up again.
"Killed 'em all, it did. Erry single one, as I live an' breath. An' when it were done, it went around, stompin' th'bodies flat. Never ate one, jes did all it could t'make sure that not a single survivor lived t'tell the tale. I were shook something fierce, I tell ya. Took me own caravan down off the ridge, t'avoid bein' spotted. We ended up arriving a day late, but to this day, I thank me lucky stars we made it at all."
Another sigh came, and Kathy heard the cracks in his voice as he continued on.
"Not Gil, though. Nor any o'them what worked for him, or th'merchant what hired him. A few years later, I worked up th'courage t'take a couple o'men into the ruins, t'find the bodies. I found bones dressed in Gil's clothes. I took his sword, which had survived, an' is th'one I carry to this day. I think Gil'd be pleased to know his blade had saved me life, quite a few times since."
Kathy finished cutting the cover up and stood to put her hands on Kells' shoulder.
"Thank you for telling me that," she said, her voice gentle. "I can tell it's an important story to you."
Kells nodded and sniffed once, then jerked his head in the direction away from the most recent roar. "I still think we should get out o' here, Kath," he said. "I'll face down the Searchers an' be happy o' a good death, should they take me. But them Walkers... They ain't warriors ye can face an' die with honor. One o'them things finds us, there ain't no fightin' it. We jes' die screaming, th'only consolation coming when it's all over."
Kathy weighed his words carefully. Kells knew this world far better than she did. And while she knew her own abilities far better than anyone here, she had to be mindful not to be too arrogant. Kells had told her how a single Walker had slaughtered an entire caravan of experienced fighters, led by an experienced leader.
"Okay," she said. She handed the bag to Kells. "There should be about eight hundred and fifty chits in there. You can count them out later, and I'll trust your count. After I find what I'm looking for, I'll collect the rest and we'll settle up."
"Good call," Kells said. He tied the bag off to his belt and walked to the corner of the building, peeking around. When he was satisfied, he nodded. Kathy joined him, and together, they made a beeline to the edge of the ruins.
They had made it about halfway out when another roar sounded, this one right on top of them. A rumbling crash sounded from her right, and Kathy turned to see rubble falling to the ground as something massive rose off the ground, two blocks over.
"Stars an' stones," Kells swore, then shouted "Run!"

This was on the weekend, I realise I need to either forget about it or have a talk with her and that ranting on Reddit isn’t doing anyone any favours. I know.
I was at my mother’s house this weekend with my daughter, who’s 8. My mother was very excitedly talking about how she’s invited all my cousin’s daughters round for a sleepover that night for a ‘girls night’, and how nice it would be for them to all be together. My cousins’s daughters all range from 4 to about 9.
I knew my daughter wasn’t invited, first I’d heard of it, but kept my mouth shut initially. My daughter has a chromosomal disorder, she’s completely non verbal, and has a long list of health conditions. Would a sleepover be easy for anyone involved? Absolutely not, not pretending this is the case.
I asked my mum her plans for the evening, she said they were going to do some baking, at this point I asked if my daughter could join in that part because A.) She likes baking and B.) I want her to have a relationship with my cousins’s kids too. My mum then said it would be unfair on the others and started talking about how they needed ‘respite.’ Yeah, great, I’m sorry my daughter having fun is such a burden.
My mum has only had my daughter round to sleep a few times, she’s capable of looking after her needs but I appreciate with other kids to look after too - it would be a challenge. The only times my daughter has slept there were times my wife was in hospital, and the night of my wife’s funeral. That’s it. She talks often to me about how much she loves having the rest of my family’s kids over, she doesn’t ever say that about my daughter.
My daughter’s great, I don’t care about the sleepover itself. She’s my best friend, the one thing that keeps me going. I tried to have our own fun night at home but in all honesty, I was having a real rough time of it. I’m just fed up of people acting like it’s easier to not include her.

As many people in North America did on Sunday, we celebrated Mother’s Day. We stayed in, my husband, daughter and stepson, and watched movies and had snacks. The day was pretty relaxed and comfortable. Syepson had to go back to his moms for supper, my husband took him late afternoon. Then my husband and I made a big family dinner and his parents and our oldest son and his girlfriend came to enjoy with us. Mother’s Day has always been a strange day for me. I’ve always said all I want is to have a chill day with my family and enjoy each others company. There has not been one single year that has happened. In the past, my oldest son was usually bent on ruining the day for me some how. He would do things like sleep all day, say he forgot or just not even acknowledge the event. It was really hurtful and my oldest daughter, now 18, used to hey so upset with him when he behaved this way.
So this year, I was hoping for a miracle. As I said, the day went well and the evening was set up to be really good too. Everyone was chatting and supper turned out amazing, no bickering or snippy remarks between my in laws, the kids all seemed to want to be around, it was kinda perfect.
Now, in our house we’ve always had the rule that if you didn’t cook you help clean up. Fairly standard practice from what I can’t tell, compared to other families we know. It’s never even been a question, just get to it and many hands make light work.
Apparently all the kids just forgot that was a thing. Everyone left, just walked by my husband who stepped up to do the washing and didn’t give it a second thought. I followed the kids out to the front street and did an exaggerated shrug, got their attention and told them I was disappointed they were just leaving everything for us. This was no small dinner, it took several days of prep to brine and smoke the delicious turkey we served. Even after chasing them out to object, they both just drove away. Since I had already confronted them together I decided to discuss my issue with each of them separately. Since my son is out in his own now, I wasn’t as hard on him.
But here’s the thing, my daughter lives here full time and does nothing at all to help anymore. She was often at work in the evenings or with her boyfriend, until just recently when she stared a 9-5, so she didn’t have supper at home often. Because of her schedule, I would bring her dinner every night she works, making sure she had at least one decent meal a day. I didn’t expect her to come home at 9 pm and clean up, only to help out when she’s home. Now she’s home for supper most nights but still doesn’t lift a finger without being asked. And the attitude when she does have to pitch in is atrocious.
Now back to Mother’s Day, when I confronted my daughter I told her I was disappointed in the both of them. I told her her behaviour has been selfish and that I need her to start participating around the house. She refused to come home to talk that night. Monday she texted me to tell me she was coming over after work. That put me off further, you don’t come over to your own house. Her language made me feel like she doesn’t appreciate the free and supportive roof over her head. When we talked Monday evening my disappointment turned into anger and hurt. This kid had the audacity to say that having to help with dishes is me treating her like staff.
I am beside myself in the massive failure I feel about that. She grew up in a divided family situation but has two sets of parents to lean on and grow from. Her stepmother is a control freak and as a result, my daughter didn’t have chores over there. I knew that but made my expectation clear about our home, from the start. I just feel so helpless in this situation. If anyone has any advice or reminiscence of their own teenzilla, I’d love to hear it.

This is me venting but am also curious to know what everyone's relationship is like with half-siblings. Here's my story. I'm sorry in advance for how long this is, along with the grammarun-ons. I'm trying to give the Reddit community as much context as I can dating as far back as my memory takes me.
I (F 28) have two younger biological sisters (identical twins, F 25). The three of us were born after my dad married my mom (arranged marriage) after he and his first wife got divorced.
I believe my dad's first marriage lasted about 10 years. They had two kids together (my half-siblings). My older brother and I have an 8-year age difference, and my older sister and I have a 10-year age difference. Growing up, they used to visit us a few times a year including summer break or alternating holidays. Sometimes they would visit during Thanksgiving, other times during Christmas.
We used to be pretty close (at least I thought), but the relationship has become increasingly strained through the years. I understand the fact that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but I believe that my dad was on the right side of things and the marriage ended because two people weren't compatible and got married too young. It's always unfortunate when there are kids involved, and I'm sure it was tough with my older siblings being impacted at a young age.
It started when our grandpa (my dad's dad) passed away in November 2015. My brother suddenly stopped talking to my dad/our family immediately for whatever reason. He was the only person that didn't come to my grandpa's funeral. I honestly think he was holding a grudge that he didn't find out immediately when my grandpa passed, but I can't be too sure. We've never addressed that directly.
Fast forward 8 months to July 2016, when my dad's side of the family had a reunion at a first cousin's wedding. The vibes from my brother were like nothing had happened, and then after the wedding weekend, he was back to being silent. When my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in June 2019 he didn't show up to the funeral then either. Granted I didn't, but not because I didn't want to. I was a poor grad student and couldn't afford an $800 ticket on short notice and didn't want to burden my parents to pay for me to fly back for a couple of days either on top of how busy they were with funeral arrangements.
My brother went about 5 years to not talk to my dad or any of us. Then, out of nowhere, he calls one day to announce that he's getting married. The wedding is set for October 2022. I think he was buttering up my dad and our family to come to the wedding, because he knew it would look bad if everyone asked where his dad was for his wedding, and it would reflect poorly on him. The communication in 2022 was pretty consistent leading up to the wedding, and my older siblings would call my dad almost every weekend knowing that they needed us to show up to the wedding.
My older sister (F 38) had a baby girl in July 2018. Our dad was thrilled, his oldest daughter made him a grandpa. But there is clear separation and favoritism there, as my niece only sees her mom's side of the family being in the same area in the DMV. For those who aren't familiar with DC/MD/VA, my older sister lives in Virginia, in Arlington, and her mom lives in Herndon. About a 30-minute drive from each other. My parents live across the country in Orange County, so visits are far and few in between for my dad and his grandchild. I live on the Maryland side, and the state line between Maryland and Virginia is roughly 30 min, depending on where you go and the time of day. Anyway, I don't even know if my niece knows that she has another grandpa, outside of what she knows about my sister's mom and stepdad, and my brother-in-law's parents, who split time between the US and Nepal. I feel so bad for my dad because that's his grandkid too and everyone deserves the joy of being involved in their grandkids lives. My dad has seen my niece several times but the relationship is pretty surface level. It's not her fault, she doesn't know him like she does my sister's mom and stepdad, plus it's a proximity thing living on opposite sides of the country. We have FaceTime for these reasons though.
My husband and I aren't ready to have kids yet, and we want them. We've only been married for almost 7 months so we're still trying to live life before we settle down. I hope nothing more than to be able to give my parents a grandkid one day because I want my dad and mom to experience what they missed from my older half-siblings isolating them from their kids. That is if I'm able to have kids, I know we can't control these things.
This brings me to my next point (if you're still reading this, I appreciate you). My husband and I got married in October 2023. Our parents on both sides did everything they could to give us the wedding of our dreams, and it was everything we imagined and hoped for, and I'm forever grateful for that. I know that my wedding hit my dad harder emotionally than the first two with my older siblings because he was not at all involved during theirs. That wasn't by choice, my older siblings' mom probably didn't want him to be involved. Divorced dynamics are so confusing. You're telling me you can't come together and be civilized for a day/weekend? After my wedding, a few months later, sometime in January or February 2024, my dad called me to talk about how my sister was upset after our wedding and she vented about a few things with him on the phone. He was relaying the message over.
For context, I uploaded our wedding pictures on Facebook, because I have so many family members overseas in Nepal who weren't able to attend the wedding, and it was honestly the most convenient way to showcase our pictures since people in Nepal are ridiculously active on Facebook. My sister has social media, my brother got rid of his TwitteFacebook/Instagram/everything many years ago. Our photographer took several thousand pictures throughout the wedding weekend events, and of course, there were moments captured of my older sister and her family, including my brother-in-law, and niece. I will admit out of spite since my sister never posts anything about me and my dad/family, I tagged but then later on deleted those pictures she was in. Why would I have pictures of her on my social media when she's never posted anything of us? She doesn't even like or comment on anything on my social media, and when you have siblings, this is not something you discuss, you just do it. Duh. Over the last few days, I unfollowed her and unfriended her on Facebook and Instagram. For me, it makes no sense to keep people on my newsfeed if I don't interact with them, and I have plenty of family members and friends that I already have a strongemore communicative relationship with.
If my sister was upset about this, why did she call my dad to vent about this months later instead of coming to me? My dad told me she complained that he didn't mention her or my older brother during his speech at our wedding. But am I wrong for thinking, why would he? It's a celebration for me and my husband. I thought that was very conceited and selfish. The day wasn't about her, and my dad's speech was so heartfelt that I cried. I believe she was offended she didn't get the same during hers. However, my sister and brother never asked our dad to give a toast at their weddings. Only their mom did, which is messed up in my opinion.
I understand divorce is messy and complicated, and people go through years of therapy to fix, or maybe even never fix issues completely. It's hard, and I'm just a product of his second marriage. But I've never understood the jealousy that seems to exist, specifically between my older sister and me.
I tried reaching out to both of them in a group iMessage, talking about how I am not happy with the way they're treating our dad. My brother has stopped calling my dad completely over the last few months since his son (my dad's second grandkid) was born a few months ago in February. My sister calls maybe once a month. I wanted to confront them about this ongoing behavior and ill will toward our family. They didn't even have the guts to respond to me, I suggested if they have time to FaceTime so we can have a real adult conversation about what is their issue. My parents are flying to DC this weekend and the original plan was to drive a few hours north so they could see my brother's baby. No communication with my brother whatsoever to coordinate. I feel devastatingly sad for my dad.
I'm not even going to get into their treatment of my mom. That's another long story, but basically, it's them not giving a hoot about her, even though she's the one who took care of them and stepped up when they visited growing up. As a stepmom, it's hard to deal with kids from a previous marriage. But she did it and she loves them, and they're nothing but passive-aggressive and mean to her. They never wish her happy birthday, happy Mother's Day, or my parents happy anniversary. It takes two seconds. For me, if you disrespect my parents, you're disrespecting me.
Since then, my sister has unfollowed and unfriended everyone on social media, including my dad, my younger sisters, and my husband. All because she couldn't handle that I did that to her. I'm just not for this nasty behavior, and I know we all need to unpack a lot in therapy (me and my older siblings specifically). Their behavior is cowardly, and I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? I don't know. It didn't have to be like this. I'm sure their mom has been telling them bad things about the marriage and my dad for years. I'm not saying he probably didn't make mistakes, but there are, once again, two sides to everyone's story. None of us kids have heard both sides directly from the source, and probably never will. It makes me sad, especially for my dad. I know life will go on. I tried to reach out, and if they don't want to talk about these issues like adults, then I have nothing else to say.

Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or is it better give up on this unhappy marriage.

So I’ve had migraines since age 9. Syncope episodes started at age 11. I’ve tried everything from OTC meds, preventatives, Chiro, Botox, nerve blocks, CGRPs and Infusions. No relief at all. Since getting COVID in 2021 my migraines have been daily. They never go away only intensity changes with activity. I stopped working last year couldn’t do it anymore after almost causing a car accident for driving with a migraine. I started medicating with Cannabis. It does not relieve my migraine but it does decrease intensity. However I do find it to be short lived so I pretty much smoke all day to get through my daily activities. Anyone else here use this beautiful plant for your pain relief??

So I’m making this post because I’m alarmed at certain behaviors and I don’t know how to respond. In short : my fiance has 3 daughters. Last month he lost one tragically. He bought a house years ago and the other daughter has rented the downstairs for a few months until she finds a place in the city. She is very kind and puts everyone before herself. The baby of the family lives quite far away.
A few days after her sisters passing she has been coming by daily ( which is normal) then I noticed the other daughter wasn’t at the house the next few x her sister came by again ( day 4,5,6) they’ve never really had a relationship but she ( the oldest) was inseparable like twins with the one who passed. I’m guessing they didn’t get the attention like the youngest did. And it seems to be like she wants the attention all over her like she’s used to getting.
Funeral- she was the only one who seemed like she couldn’t wait for it to be over, no emotions etc I even seen an eye roll. The day after he buried his daughter I received a text that she fell and cut her leg, she enthusiastically said “ I wanted you to show my dad” when I said ouch looks painful glad your ok she said “ I’m okay I just wanted you to show him!” I didn’t reply. I asked a few ppl close to me and they all said the same thing “ what do ppl want him to have a heart attack” along with other harsher words. The pics bring no joy or happiness it would only make him sad. So why? Why when he can barely stand he’s grieving so deeply would you want him to see that?
I told him if he wanted to see it she can show him herself. Ironically now she seems to be going by again ( probably to show him) im starting to feel angry at him that his other daughter who needs him doesn’t because of this.

• I know he is grief ridden and doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings because he’s fearful of loosing another child which would be understandable in these circumstances but still… is this normal behavior? I have my own place at the moment ( that’s another story lol) so should I just let him be with his children? He wants me to be there but I’m so angry that his other daughter is pushed to the back by her sister and I dont want to cause any problems

I grew up with an emotionally unavailable mother who laid in bed all day and was addicted to prescription pills. Then she drank herself to death which didn’t affect me because I had cut ties long before. I watched my dad quite literally beg her to just act right, she could never do it.
Now, I have a daughter of my own who is now 3 and I love her so much. My husband is severely emotionally unavailable and indifferent towards me. I have communicated in every form possible that something needs to change. He has betrayed me in multiple ways. He’s never been soft or tender towards me. I’ve never received a gift from him— ever. I have no family and no friends. My husband plays the role of the happy go lucky fun dad with not a worry in the world— undermines my parenting. Like allowing my daughter to color on the wall because she was sad and she wanted to. But has never done any real parenting. Bedtime routines, making meals, general parenting. I am a single mom living with a man child. He signed his rights away to his ex girlfriend’s husbands (his son.) I’m just think we need to separate.. but the crazy thing is, every time I tell him that even tho he’s the one who clearly wants other women and to do whatever he wants he tells me he swears he’ll do better etc. all the while plays the victim at the same time. I feel trapped because I have no where to go. His family is wealthy, he has several paid for homes he can go to.
Anyway, I just feel like everyday I am failing my daughter. I feel like all day I am correcting her and I hate it :( every night when I go to bed I feel the weight of the world on me… so much that I can’t even cry. I feel overwhelmed and I feel like she will grow up hating and resenting me too. She’s so forgiving when I lose my cool and yell. I always tell her that I’m sorry for yelling and that even if I was upset that yelling isn’t ok. I’m just so so overwhelmed. Is my overwhelm partially because of the stress about the future of my marriage or am I just a super shitty mom. I don’t want there to be an emotional disconnect with my daughter and I but I feel like I’m just trudging through everyday :( I feel stupid because I only have one child.. it shouldn’t be this hard. I’m also coming to realize a lot about how shitty my upbringing was.. and although I feel like I am triumphing things my mother could never give I still feel like a massive failure to my daughter :( I’m too hard on her. Do you think separating from my husband would help this? I feel a cortisol raise when he is simply in the same room.
Please don’t say therapy.. I’m well aware. Right now I don’t have any child care or family to watch her but my plan is to start when she starts school. I just feel like I need to separate from my husband and just breathe. I’m so sick of having my feelings undermined. He’s very much the type “women are over emotional” when he has neglected me emotionally this entire marriage.
Anyways… I’m just hurting please be kind. I pretty much hate myself. I feel like my daughter would be better off with a normal mom… I hate that I have to struggle through life because of the neglect of my parents when I was a child. I’m with my daughter 24/7 but I feel so disconnected like I’m just holding on :(

Would you leave your spouse if they had a toxic relationship with their parent
Do you think it would ultimately affect you and cause you to leave the marriage if your wife has a bad relationship with her mother?
I grew up alone with my mom who was always very controlling of me and quite strict. I was always compared to others no matter how good or obedient I was. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t always hell but I would say maybe around 60 percent of it was. She had some good days where she would treat me very lovingly as a normal caring mother. But yeah overall our relationship hasn’t been that good when you see the overall picture.
Since I got married, our relationship has gotten worse. And unfortunately my husband has had to witness the dysfunctional and abusive nature of my mothers relationship towards me: her calling me bad /foul words/ swearing at me, not respecting me, always calling me useless or just trying to control every aspect of my life.
She has been staying with us under the same roof (in mine and my husbands home) for a while due to some unfortunate circumstances - I was hospitalised for a long while due to a threatening illness (that I am still battling at the moment and may relapse any moment). I have 3 very young children, a toddler and infant twins. Im still only a few months post-partum. It was the complications in my labour and delivery that led to my health condition / illness worsening. April last month, my family were told that I might not survive. For weeks I was on a ventilator in the intensive care unit at the hospital. Miraculously (and alhamdulilah) I managed to pull through it. I was eventually allowed to come home after weeks of therapy & treatment. So my mom had to care for all my babies while I was hospitalised. I thought coming home, this would all change and my mom would be more caring towards me and not seem so upset all the time but it seems like our relationship is still the same and probably even worse. I sometimes don’t blame her bc I know how depressed she is but it’s no excuse to dogpile on me her problems & her anger.
Background: Before my dad left us when I was 6, he was physically abusive towards my mom and as a child Ive witnessed all the domestic abuse that went on at home. He then abandoned us eventually and till this day I don’t really have much contact with him. I still have unpleasant memories of him doing inappropriate things to me as a child yet it’s something I’ve tried to block out and my mom won’t fully acknowledge the SA that I may have endured from him. I know all this would affect my mother a lot. Especially when her second marriage didn’t work out either. Feels like she is unhappy how I am married to a man and her hatred for men is affecting her judgement on my husband. No matter how well he treats her, she still holds this grudge against him. They have had a lot of disagreements, and have recently had a massive fight (i did a previous post about this) but they are on civil terms now. However, as of recently me and my mom had a big fight, this all happened whilst my husband was away on a trip with his friends and cousin. This fight ended up with me physically attacking my own mother. Which I am very sad that it had to resort to that. I was driven to insanity from her remarks and bad words that I just suddenly lashed out at her to shut her up and just kept hitting her. She then said to me that’s what she wanted for me to do so she can be the one in the right. And she started telling me how I’m going to go to hell for a laying a hand on my own mother. I lashed out again and then she threw a metalic object in my face which has bruised my left eye and just above it where the temple is. That area is still blue and purple right now, which my husband will visibly see when he comes back home. I deserve it I know. I regret submitting to that fit of rage so much. It’s like a jinn had taken over me and I can’t stop crying but I don’t know how else to control my rage and anger in that moment. I literally feel insane. I’m already suffering from postnatal depression and an illness that has affected my whole life AND past memories of a trauma that I do not want to remember AND a difficult mother who is suffering from depression, OCD and a lot of hatred towards my little family. I called my husband and told him what happened whilst I was crying and sobbing but he told me to try dealing with it, as she’s my mother and he doesn’t ever want to get involved again. I don’t know why I called him I guess it was just the heat of the moment, I needed to talk to someone.
My mother heard me on the phone to him and decided to talk to him herself and told him that we fought and that I physically attacked her and that I am an embarrassment & all of that. She said “what daughter do you know physically lashes out at their own mother” My husband messaged me and asked me if that was true. I told him it was true. He messaged me saying he’s disappointed in my reaction and didn’t realise how crazy me and my mom both were. He wishes he never met me and married me.
I cried myself to sleep that night. I never wanted my marriage to be ruined or for my husband to look at me like this. I never asked for any of this, it’s made me even question my self as a Muslim and why all this is happening to me. I know it’s all tests from God but I’m not strong enough for these tests I’m really really weak and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I just don’t know why my mom seems to always find ways to fight and argue with me. I’ve done everything I can growing up to be a good daughter, I pray 5 times a day, I fast, I’m modest/wear hijab, I never had any relationships, I remained chaste until marriage, married someone from my ethnicity as my mom requested, obeyed it all (ofcourse not for her, but for the sake of God), graduated with high grades, got my dream job alhamdulilah, saved up so much money from previous work and bought my home with my husband but yet I’m still someone who is lacking in her eyes. Why??? I’ve been tested with my health, my mother and now it seems like my marriage is on the line.
I keep wishing everyday I wish I just died when I was in hospital why did the healthcare team even try so hard to save me. Both my physical and mental health is deteriorating and I can’t even focus on being a mother to my very young children. Is there any coming back from this?
I felt really bad and asked for my mother’s forgiveness the next day and we have squashed the argument and she has also apologised to me but I fear it’s too late. I forgive her and she forgives me. She has agreed to leave soon but she is attached to my children and doesn’t want to leave them with us as she believes my husband won’t be able to care for them well as he is working and he is a man that goes out often. And ofcourse I’m incapable due to my physical and mental health state. I hope god forgives me. I have nothing left but my faith right now and my children. Any advice on how I can communicate with my husband about this? I love him very much and I don’t want to lose him. Can he still love me despite all of these issues between my mother and I?
Sorry for the long post. I’ve never told anyone in real life about all of this.. so I guess writing all this down and what has happened is somewhat helping me absorb it all and to see if there is anyone out there experiencing anything similar.
Update: my mother has said she will never do this to me ever again and that she forgives me, she just didn’t realise I would lose my mind & get angry like that.

So I've been on Zoloft for quite some time for social anxiety, among others. I've been at 150mg for a couple months now. I have noticed some improvements but really not as much as I (or my doctor) would've hoped. Because of reasons I started smoking a lot more then usual for about a month now. In the past month, I've had so many occurences of actually being able to talk to people like something that resembles a human being. I've even been able to talk to my parents with very little anxiety! So, is weed actually helping this much or am I just kidding myself because I'm addicted?

That’s about it— I am basically spending the day in bed with a migraine that won’t quit and dreading the activity I’ve got later because I smoke the most at “transitions”
Ex: just a quick smoke before I walk to the train, just a quick smoke before I start to get ready.
Right now I haven’t figured out alternatives for that feeling of “little treat” to help my brain shift gears so it’s all just bloody mindedness but it’ll come. Turns out doing hard things is hard lol??
Other first day people— we got this. Second day people and beyond— remember how hard this first one was? You don’t ever wanna do that again. (People who are thinking about it- it does suck, but it’s more embarrassing to be like “oh I’m having a bad day bc I couldn’t do my little drug that makes me smell bad”.
We got ourselves into this and we can get ourselves out!

He wanted my parents to take me quietly without his parents knowing. But my parents talked to his parents and told them that my daughter called in the middle of night about how their marriage is in trouble and how we have been fighting for so long. His parents as expected shouted and started listed about how i was the only one wrong and obviously my parents. There was a lot of argument and my husband only wanted to get me out of his house. My father now was done with his behaviour and finally snapped at him and took me back to my house. My husband didn't try to contact me for few days but called my father to talk about things. My father didn't even have any idea about what was happening with us. Putting my ego down, i contacted him and asked to talk in private. my husband clearly said to me that he will never be able to accept that his folks are wrong and there is no benefit in talking about what they have done in the past and in his pov only me and my mom is wrong. He suggested that we live separately from his parent for our mental sanity. I asked him if his parents would be able to just behave properly with me, i would have no issues in staying with them. He said that the better option is to move away from his home and mine obviously and live our own life for a while so that everyone and everything calms down. I said i still wanted to communicate my pov to everyone because i have never said anything to his mother at all. No one knows my side. All 6 of us decided to talk and his mother like a mentally insane person started shouting and accussing me and my mother. We stated our side of story but the three of them(MIL, husband, FIL) didn't want to listen to anything we three had to say and just shouted at all of us. Her own son started to calm the monster down but she wouldn't listen to her husband or son. She just wanted to have the last loud word. My husband and I talked separately and decide to give this living alone a try. My husband has not talked to my parents from then even after they try to talk to him when he comes to pick me. I lived in my own house for 1-1.5 months. When we went to live alone, i begged my husband to talk to my parents once as i and them both were uncomfortable on me going wiht him alone based on his behaviour in the past. Since moving out, we still hava had various episodes of us fighting over the old things. I am still not in a very jolly or sane place right now. I still am traumatised by all of this. I still don't trust my husband will ever be with me like he was before. I have started to accept that this is the only kind of life i would get to live and i won't be able to do anything about it. I just don't know how long i would be able to hold my composure. To anyone which whom this story resonates with, you are not alone. Feel free to talk to me about it. Maybe we would be able to find comfort in knowing there are others like us.