Writing dedication and acknowledgement on dissertation thesis
Discuss and debate religion
2011.07.21 14:25 pconwell Discuss and debate religion
A place to discuss and debate religion
2011.05.07 21:03 Miz_Mink Support group for MAs and PHDs working on their thesis
2009.06.07 02:41 TorleyX Creativity
Talent and Creativity is a confluence of Knowledge + Imagination + Critical Thinking Anything that inspires, or spurs creativity is encouraged.
2024.06.09 06:26 mudana__bakudan AJATT isn't a great method compared to more standard ones
AJATT is a good method that encourages immersion learning and spaced repetition to learn a target language. However, I think its advice on output and other practices can be debated. I will explain these pieces of advice and how I think they should be improved. Of course, feel free to critique my points.
You should only output once you have enough input experience
Outputting, writing and speaking specifically are separate skills that should be trained on. While input can compliment these skills, actively trying to produce the most fluent sentences will help you to acquire faster due to the scientifically backed principles of deliberate practice and free recall. Input just doesn't help you retain as much compared to the former.
Translating is bad
I don't think translating is that bad for the following reasons:
I don't consider this to be a large threat, especially with the benefits of outputting. If you practise input and output in tandem then the risks will be minimal. Also these habits can be prevented by testing your output. This can be done by doing the following:
For Anki, you should find, save and recognise comprehensible input from your immersion
From my experience using Anki, the words you review are quite hard to remember because you are only using active reading to learn, which isn't a good way to learn vocabulary. This is the case especially with Kanji in Japanese. I think a better way of using Anki is as follows. This is similar to method 2 of the last point:
submitted by mudana__bakudan to ajatt [link] [comments]
You should only output once you have enough input experience
Outputting, writing and speaking specifically are separate skills that should be trained on. While input can compliment these skills, actively trying to produce the most fluent sentences will help you to acquire faster due to the scientifically backed principles of deliberate practice and free recall. Input just doesn't help you retain as much compared to the former.
Translating is bad
I don't think translating is that bad for the following reasons:
- When you are immersing for the first few months, you are essentially translating into your native language anyway to get a better grasp of its meaning.
- As long as you don't translate literally, you should be fine with not "thinking in your native language". The more you study through input and (tested) output, the more you will also develop acquisition regardless.
- I believe languages are complex enough to explain the nuances of vocabulary well. The other aspects of their nuance can be discovered through immersion.
I don't consider this to be a large threat, especially with the benefits of outputting. If you practise input and output in tandem then the risks will be minimal. Also these habits can be prevented by testing your output. This can be done by doing the following:
- Find teachelanguage partner -> Output -> TeacheLanguage partner corrects you -> Acknowledge correction
- Find a sentence from your immersion -> Translate the sentence into your native language -> Translate the sentence back into your target language -> Check for mistakes
For Anki, you should find, save and recognise comprehensible input from your immersion
From my experience using Anki, the words you review are quite hard to remember because you are only using active reading to learn, which isn't a good way to learn vocabulary. This is the case especially with Kanji in Japanese. I think a better way of using Anki is as follows. This is similar to method 2 of the last point:
- Find a sentence from your immersion -> Translate it into your native language (Try to make the translation as literal as possible, adding notes below to make up for loss in meaning) -> Translate back into the target language by speaking and writing -> Check for mistakes
- Mark the card as good if you managed to translate well
2024.06.09 06:22 spacesquidwrangler VERY bare-bones rendition of my VERY limited understanding of the theory behind these systems. From what I've picked up I think I've got the gist down, but I'd like to know if you guys think I have anything fundamentally wrong.
I started writing this as something to send to my friends as we regularly argue and debate over politics and I don't feel like I've ever had the opportunity or congruity in my ideas to fully formulate them. While much of this is written matter-of-fact'ly I want to preface this by saying I am not a political theorist by any stretch of the imagination. I am woefully uninformed especially compared to anyone who could be rightly named an "expert" on the subject. Keep in mind also that, as I said, this was written with it being sent to my friends in mind and is formatted as such. To keep with the sort of stream of consciousness I was going for I won't be reformatting this for the post. Also, just for clarification in case I failed to make it apparent; when I use the word "countries" in the 3rd paragraph I'm referring to countries with the definition in mind that they are an indefinite usually extended expanses of land with which its residents identify, similar to but distinct from regions, and not as states.
So, here it is:
Capitalism is most easily defined by the whims of the capitalist. The goal of the capitalist is infinite growth. Before I hear something pedantic like "not all capitalists want to grow infinitely" the most successful capitalists in history are the largest corporations in the world (e.g. Blackrock, J.P. Morgan, The Bank of China, Exxon Mobile and other such monopolies) which own hundreds if not thousands of other corporations all with global reach and many of which are monopolies in their own right. So, the goal of the capitalist is infinite growth. And therefor the goal of capitalism is infinite growth. Infinite growth is not possible, and the capitalist knows this. This is why we have ups and downs in the economy. Bubbles that grow and then pop. Capitalists use capital to grow economies to create more capital to fill the bubble that is the (an) economy. When the bubble gets too big to continue growing, it pops, and the economy collapses. Leaving the capitalists with all (a gross majority) of the capital created in the bubble. They then use some of the capital to reform the economy to grow larger yet, until it can grow no more, and pops. So on. This IS capitalism. It is a vicious cycle of elites growing and destroying economies to accrue more capital at the expense of every one and every thing else in the world. You hear a lot that "capitalism doesn't work", it works perfectly. It works exactly as intended. This is capitalism functioning: Growth, pop, hoarding, investment, growth, pop, hoarding, investment. We should be able to agree this is not sustainable and that it causes unnecessary harm to billions of people who are not the select few orchestrating and benefiting from this cycle. And based on that we should be able to agree that we need an alternative.
So, at the most basic level, what is socialism and why is it a necessary alternative? Socialism is the re-appropriation of the existing capital. You hear a lot of misinformed people saying that the resources to provide for everyone are non-existent, this is objectively false. These resources are squarely in the hands of capitalists and they have far beyond what is required to meet the basic needs of all people. Socialism is taking the existing capital out of the hands of hoarding elites and distributing it into socialized programs such as healthcare, education, infrastructure, housing, and other basic needs for all of civilization. Use the economies and resources present to form a sustainable society. Accepting socialism as the necessary and inevitable successor to capitalism is the acknowledgement that the previous statement is accomplish-able, and it is. Now, I could end this here, but let's take the time to go further.
What is communism, and why will it succeed socialism? As capitalism is the accruement of capital and socialism is the re-appropriation of capital, communism would be the obsolescence of capital. Capital would still have a place in the world, but communities would not be reliant on it. They would live self sustainably through collectivized maintenance and development of those communities. Smaller communities would be unites of larger communities, which would collectivize the maintenance and development of those larger communities and, ideally, the world. You operate as a collective with your neighbors towards common goals in your neighborhood, your neighborhood collectivizes with other neighborhoods towards common goals in your town, your town collectivizes with other towns towards common goals in your region, your region collectivizes with other regions towards common goals in your country, your country collectivizes with other countries towards common goals globally.
And now I say, what is anarchy and why will it succeed communism? Anarchy is the abolition of capital and the flattening of all previous hierarchies. The transition from communism to anarchy is societies development into a fluid functionality of consensus and negotiation between people in where the status quo of capital has died and the new status quo has become the common good.
So there it is. Like the title says, I think I have a very very simplistic understanding of the idea here that I can push off of and learn more from. But if there's anything I have fundamentally wrong I'd like to hear from my fellow anarchists.
submitted by spacesquidwrangler to Anarchy101 [link] [comments]
So, here it is:
Capitalism is most easily defined by the whims of the capitalist. The goal of the capitalist is infinite growth. Before I hear something pedantic like "not all capitalists want to grow infinitely" the most successful capitalists in history are the largest corporations in the world (e.g. Blackrock, J.P. Morgan, The Bank of China, Exxon Mobile and other such monopolies) which own hundreds if not thousands of other corporations all with global reach and many of which are monopolies in their own right. So, the goal of the capitalist is infinite growth. And therefor the goal of capitalism is infinite growth. Infinite growth is not possible, and the capitalist knows this. This is why we have ups and downs in the economy. Bubbles that grow and then pop. Capitalists use capital to grow economies to create more capital to fill the bubble that is the (an) economy. When the bubble gets too big to continue growing, it pops, and the economy collapses. Leaving the capitalists with all (a gross majority) of the capital created in the bubble. They then use some of the capital to reform the economy to grow larger yet, until it can grow no more, and pops. So on. This IS capitalism. It is a vicious cycle of elites growing and destroying economies to accrue more capital at the expense of every one and every thing else in the world. You hear a lot that "capitalism doesn't work", it works perfectly. It works exactly as intended. This is capitalism functioning: Growth, pop, hoarding, investment, growth, pop, hoarding, investment. We should be able to agree this is not sustainable and that it causes unnecessary harm to billions of people who are not the select few orchestrating and benefiting from this cycle. And based on that we should be able to agree that we need an alternative.
So, at the most basic level, what is socialism and why is it a necessary alternative? Socialism is the re-appropriation of the existing capital. You hear a lot of misinformed people saying that the resources to provide for everyone are non-existent, this is objectively false. These resources are squarely in the hands of capitalists and they have far beyond what is required to meet the basic needs of all people. Socialism is taking the existing capital out of the hands of hoarding elites and distributing it into socialized programs such as healthcare, education, infrastructure, housing, and other basic needs for all of civilization. Use the economies and resources present to form a sustainable society. Accepting socialism as the necessary and inevitable successor to capitalism is the acknowledgement that the previous statement is accomplish-able, and it is. Now, I could end this here, but let's take the time to go further.
What is communism, and why will it succeed socialism? As capitalism is the accruement of capital and socialism is the re-appropriation of capital, communism would be the obsolescence of capital. Capital would still have a place in the world, but communities would not be reliant on it. They would live self sustainably through collectivized maintenance and development of those communities. Smaller communities would be unites of larger communities, which would collectivize the maintenance and development of those larger communities and, ideally, the world. You operate as a collective with your neighbors towards common goals in your neighborhood, your neighborhood collectivizes with other neighborhoods towards common goals in your town, your town collectivizes with other towns towards common goals in your region, your region collectivizes with other regions towards common goals in your country, your country collectivizes with other countries towards common goals globally.
And now I say, what is anarchy and why will it succeed communism? Anarchy is the abolition of capital and the flattening of all previous hierarchies. The transition from communism to anarchy is societies development into a fluid functionality of consensus and negotiation between people in where the status quo of capital has died and the new status quo has become the common good.
So there it is. Like the title says, I think I have a very very simplistic understanding of the idea here that I can push off of and learn more from. But if there's anything I have fundamentally wrong I'd like to hear from my fellow anarchists.
2024.06.09 06:15 tugaimallinsuas AITAH for there being nude photos of me on the internet while I was in a relationship?
For some clarification the photos have thankfully been taken down because I am a minor and was even younger when the photos were taken. Also this happened a bit ago and I’m not really talking to the people involved anymore. Also this is really long so bear with me 💀 and TW for sa, abuse, sh, and plenty of other stuff. Please don’t read if you’re already in a bad headspace. Take care of yourself fist <3
For some background context i didn’t have a great childhood and at 13 got involved with some not so great people. They were all quite a bit older then me and would frequently abuse me both sexually, mentally, and physically in the form of having me take a lot of different substances usually all at once. It’s not something I talk about unless directly asked about it so most people don’t know about it or all the details.
In 8th grade I met a girl who I’ll call P. P and I had met before but lost contact during lockdown. She was really nice to me and we quickly became friends. She would “fake” flirt with me a lot which I thought was normal for friends. It was nice being around someone who wasn’t constantly trying to sleep with me so I got pretty attached to her. On the last day of school she asked me to kiss her and I did. Apparently just one kiss meant we were dating. I didn’t realize that we were in a relationship until like two weeks later because she had never actually talked to me about it. I only realized it when she asked if my mom knew we were dating yet. I didn’t want to upset them and risk losing my only friend so I just kinda went with it. I was able to get away from the older teens who had been abusing me and I let P know that some not great stuff had happened to me but they never knew the specifics.
Our relationship continued another two years and I never really was able to make any more actual friends. I felt bad if I left P alone because they also didn’t have anyone. Over time whenever we were together they were usually on their phone role playing with people on discord and wouldn’t really even acknowledge I was there. There discord chats were usually sexual in nature but I knew about it and had technically said I was fine with it. Also we had discussed that our relationship was basically open including online. I had opportunities to sleep with someone during our relationship but never did because it just didn’t feel right. P and I had never been fully with each other physically but had done some stuff. They said they were asexual and because I knew what it felt like to be guilt tripped into being intimate I would never even so much as ask to be intimate.
Then at the end of our softmore year we both became friends with a girl who I’ll call R. R seemed nice at first and I enjoyed having someone who would actually respond to my text because P usually wouldn’t. Soon R and I became pretty close but I never saw her as anything more than a friend. She would frequently wake me up at night to vent and I had to talk her down from self deleting more than once. It made me really exhausted and ruined my mental and partially my physical health to. But she would often talk about how all of her friends in the past would leave her and i genuinely did care about her and didn’t want her to be alone so i kept pushing myself for her. Not too long before the start of our junior year R texted me on discord that she had made me something. I asked what it was and she started acting kinda odd but eventually sent me a picture of it.
It was a piece of paper that had lots of hearts and stuff on it like “A+R forever”. That’s our initials. It was all very messily painted on in red. I was obviously taking a bit back by it and looking at the photo made my stomach hurt for some reason. There were scissors in the photo but no cuts in the paper so I asked about it. Eventually she admitted that she had used the scissors to get blood from herself to write with. That was the red “paint” she had used on the paper. I didn’t know what to do and called P because y’know they were my gf and the hearts and stuff had obvious implications. I was also hoping for some comfort since I would often comfort them when something happened in their life. All I got was “well that sucks but you can date her too if you want”. I didn’t want to date R but was genuinely scared of what they would do if I outright rejected her. So I told her that i wasn’t mad but I was concerned and asked her to talk in person.
She came over and i tried to convince her to get mental help from a professional. She insisted that it was fine and that it wouldn’t help her anyway. She started to get kinda touchy and I was still worried about how she would react if I said no to her advances. We contacted P again because I did tell R that i wouldn’t breakup with P to be with her. Also I was hoping that P would tell her no or something. I’ll admit I was an absolute coward during this. I didn’t know how to advocate for myself and let things go further than I was actually comfortable with. P just said something along the lines of “have fun” and without any actual reason other than that I just didn’t want to I let her do what she wanted. She stayed the night and kept me up for most of it. I my best to act like I was into it just like I had done before with the older teens who would guilt me into it. She kept wanting to go another round because I hadn’t finished. Im not biologically male so I was able fake one and she believed it.
After that I was now in a polygamist relationship with P and R. R did a lot of stuff ranging from “jokingly” threatening mine and loved one’s life’s to screaming at me because i wouldn’t let her put cameras in my room. She was very possessive and would often accuse me of cheating on her and P. There was once that someone had tried to convince me to sleep with her but I said no and immediately told R and P about it. When school started she would often start something between or would act weird with other classmates. She would have me let her examine my skin and scalp for anything she could pick at or pop. It made me uncomfortable but I still didn’t say anything. I definitely should have communicated better but was scared that anything would set her off. The entire time this was happening P knew and was often present but didn’t say anything. Soon R and P decided to date too. I mentioned to P a few times that some of the stuff R did made me uncomfortable but they didn’t seem to care and would just change the subject.
Towards the end of the first trimester R and I got into an argument over text because she kept “jokingly” saying that she wanted to kill my mom because my mom said she couldn’t come over. I’m so grateful for my mom for not letting R come over unsupervised. I don’t know what she would have done if she had been allowed over and left completely alone with me. For the first time i actually stood up for myself and told R that I was really tired because it was pretty late at the time and that I would talk to her at school in the morning. After that i turned off my phone and went to sleep.
The next morning i wake up and see that i have a TON of notifications from R. I check and she’s ranting about finding stuff on Reddit. She called me a whore and said that I was trying to hookup with ped0s. I check my Reddit account which I hadn’t even been on in a while and there were post with nude pictures of me that I don’t even remember posting. I took them down of course. They were indeed pictures of me but I didn’t have them anywhere on my phone nor do I remember posting them. I was really confused and hurt by what she had said to me so I tried to text her and ask wtf was going on but she had blocked me. I went to school hoping to talk and figure out wtf was happening.
I saw P and told her what happened and she texted R. R told her that she was taking a mental health day because of what I had done. P was as usual pretty indifferent despite how upset I was. R later told P that I had been messaging adult men and trying to meet with them. I told P my side and they said that I probably didn’t remember making the post because I was high or something. I still cared about R and managed to convince myself that maybe somehow I did make the post and just forgot. The next day R did come back to school and had cut there hair down to there shoulders. Their hair was always really long and they had always said that they would be devastated if it ever got cut. I was pretty upset and on the verge of breaking down all day because i thought that R cut it because of me.
I made it through first period but when I was just about to head into my second period R walked by. It was odd because my class wasn’t on the way to R’s second period. I broke down and left a bit into second period. I texted P say that I was going home because I was literally hyperventilating and sobbing in class. In the message I mentioned that the stuff R was saying to me made me feel Ike i wasn’t deserving to even be with them. They took this as me breaking up with her over text even though it wasn’t my intent but I guess could have maybe been interpreted that way? My mom picked me up and I told her that I’d tell her what was happening once I was actually able to breathe properly.
She let me go upstairs and cry for a while before I eventually told her everything that had happened. She said that IF I had posted the pictures that it was not ok but that how R and P were treating me was definitely not justified. She told me to block them and to call my therapist. She said that i didn’t have to go to school for a bit. I hadn’t told her everything R had done but just the stuff that had happened in the last few days.
When I did get back to school P and I talked they said that we were over but that they were still gonna be with R. I was confused and didn’t understand but they continued to be very hostile towards me. I still cared a lot about them and just felt really betrayed that after everything they just kinda kicked me to the curb. P said that they were willing to still be friends. I asked if they still wanted me to sit next to them in the classes we had together and she said that she didn’t care. I sat next to them but they glared at me the whole time and just general acted pissed off so I moved to a different table towards the back of the room and just kinda cried. The teacher checked up on me but I said I was fine. I said I just didn’t want to talk about it and he accepted that but still checked in on me. After that we just did talk like at all.
Someone who I had sat next to during lit n comp notice that i looked like well… a mess. He and i weren’t close or anything but we kinda knew each others. I said that P and I broke up and they immediately pulled me out of the class with them and into a room our school had called the ssc. It was kinda for neurodivergent kids and just generally for decompressing if students got overwhelmed with something. We talked in there and in my distress I just kinda let it all spill. They seemed really pissed but not at me. He was pissed at R and P. He held me and comforted me through the rest of the day. I’ll call him E
E was coincidentally good friends with some people I was sorta friends with in middle school. They basically adopted me into there group and came together to comfort me as well as keep an eye on my throughout the school day in case R and P tried to say anything to me. They didn’t trust them and after showing them all the threats and messages R had sent me most of them told me to report it to the school and potentially get a restraining order. They mentioned that a lot of the stuff R AND P were doing to me was textbook abuse.
P would often bite me and when I asked them to stop she would just say that it was their way of “showing affection”. Most of the time there biting would be really painful and I would practically beg them to stop because it hurting me. There were usually at least bruises from it. R had also had me cut myself because it “turned them on”. They would both “jokingly jab me specifically in my ribs even though I said that it hurt and that i didn’t find it funny just painful.
One day after 5th period R roughly grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. P just stood and watched. R told me that they cut themselves because of me and that i need to get another therapist. She said that I needed to fix myself. She yelled at me a lot and because of stuff from my childhood i started to cry just from her raising her voice. I didn’t know what to say to I apologized and said that I’ll do better. After she stoped yelling P asked if i wanted a hug. I was honestly disgusted at the thought of them touching me and that fact that they said and did nothing that whole time. I said no and admittedly said it in a very harsh tone. I went inside and one of my friends (B) immediately rushed up to me and asked if I was ok. He had seen R grab me but couldn’t find where she had pulled me to. I said I was fine physically and he had me go with him and tell our other friends what happened. They were all pretty pissed and again told me to report it.
At the time i didn’t want P or R to get in any trouble so i didn’t say or do anything. I just wanted to be drama free for a bit and forget about everything. I fell behind in my school work but managed to just barely pass. Eventually after lots of convincing from my mom, friends, and therapist I did compile a list as well as screen shots of messages as proof and reported it to the school. I asked them to not anything to P and R if they could because I still cared about them and didn’t want to cause more trouble. Me and the principal agreed that it would all be put on record but that nothing would come of anything unless something were to happen in the future. I was urged to get at least a restraining order since R had threatened mine and many other people lives including my pets over text. I do not have a restraining order
Even though everyone tells me that i wasn’t in the wrong I still worry that maybe somehow I might be. Maybe everyone was just biased because they knew me first. I do feel gross and used in a way but I don’t know… I don’t want to believe that these people who I loved and cared for so much are actually as cruel as it seems. I’m kinda hoping that I was the one in the wrong. They’re not very nice to anyone including each other but they can’t actually be bad people right? It wasn’t a lot but there were at least a few good memories. It’s my fault for not communicating enough or something right? Please tell me that ITAH. They’re still good people somehow.
submitted by tugaimallinsuas to AITAH [link] [comments]
For some background context i didn’t have a great childhood and at 13 got involved with some not so great people. They were all quite a bit older then me and would frequently abuse me both sexually, mentally, and physically in the form of having me take a lot of different substances usually all at once. It’s not something I talk about unless directly asked about it so most people don’t know about it or all the details.
In 8th grade I met a girl who I’ll call P. P and I had met before but lost contact during lockdown. She was really nice to me and we quickly became friends. She would “fake” flirt with me a lot which I thought was normal for friends. It was nice being around someone who wasn’t constantly trying to sleep with me so I got pretty attached to her. On the last day of school she asked me to kiss her and I did. Apparently just one kiss meant we were dating. I didn’t realize that we were in a relationship until like two weeks later because she had never actually talked to me about it. I only realized it when she asked if my mom knew we were dating yet. I didn’t want to upset them and risk losing my only friend so I just kinda went with it. I was able to get away from the older teens who had been abusing me and I let P know that some not great stuff had happened to me but they never knew the specifics.
Our relationship continued another two years and I never really was able to make any more actual friends. I felt bad if I left P alone because they also didn’t have anyone. Over time whenever we were together they were usually on their phone role playing with people on discord and wouldn’t really even acknowledge I was there. There discord chats were usually sexual in nature but I knew about it and had technically said I was fine with it. Also we had discussed that our relationship was basically open including online. I had opportunities to sleep with someone during our relationship but never did because it just didn’t feel right. P and I had never been fully with each other physically but had done some stuff. They said they were asexual and because I knew what it felt like to be guilt tripped into being intimate I would never even so much as ask to be intimate.
Then at the end of our softmore year we both became friends with a girl who I’ll call R. R seemed nice at first and I enjoyed having someone who would actually respond to my text because P usually wouldn’t. Soon R and I became pretty close but I never saw her as anything more than a friend. She would frequently wake me up at night to vent and I had to talk her down from self deleting more than once. It made me really exhausted and ruined my mental and partially my physical health to. But she would often talk about how all of her friends in the past would leave her and i genuinely did care about her and didn’t want her to be alone so i kept pushing myself for her. Not too long before the start of our junior year R texted me on discord that she had made me something. I asked what it was and she started acting kinda odd but eventually sent me a picture of it.
It was a piece of paper that had lots of hearts and stuff on it like “A+R forever”. That’s our initials. It was all very messily painted on in red. I was obviously taking a bit back by it and looking at the photo made my stomach hurt for some reason. There were scissors in the photo but no cuts in the paper so I asked about it. Eventually she admitted that she had used the scissors to get blood from herself to write with. That was the red “paint” she had used on the paper. I didn’t know what to do and called P because y’know they were my gf and the hearts and stuff had obvious implications. I was also hoping for some comfort since I would often comfort them when something happened in their life. All I got was “well that sucks but you can date her too if you want”. I didn’t want to date R but was genuinely scared of what they would do if I outright rejected her. So I told her that i wasn’t mad but I was concerned and asked her to talk in person.
She came over and i tried to convince her to get mental help from a professional. She insisted that it was fine and that it wouldn’t help her anyway. She started to get kinda touchy and I was still worried about how she would react if I said no to her advances. We contacted P again because I did tell R that i wouldn’t breakup with P to be with her. Also I was hoping that P would tell her no or something. I’ll admit I was an absolute coward during this. I didn’t know how to advocate for myself and let things go further than I was actually comfortable with. P just said something along the lines of “have fun” and without any actual reason other than that I just didn’t want to I let her do what she wanted. She stayed the night and kept me up for most of it. I my best to act like I was into it just like I had done before with the older teens who would guilt me into it. She kept wanting to go another round because I hadn’t finished. Im not biologically male so I was able fake one and she believed it.
After that I was now in a polygamist relationship with P and R. R did a lot of stuff ranging from “jokingly” threatening mine and loved one’s life’s to screaming at me because i wouldn’t let her put cameras in my room. She was very possessive and would often accuse me of cheating on her and P. There was once that someone had tried to convince me to sleep with her but I said no and immediately told R and P about it. When school started she would often start something between or would act weird with other classmates. She would have me let her examine my skin and scalp for anything she could pick at or pop. It made me uncomfortable but I still didn’t say anything. I definitely should have communicated better but was scared that anything would set her off. The entire time this was happening P knew and was often present but didn’t say anything. Soon R and P decided to date too. I mentioned to P a few times that some of the stuff R did made me uncomfortable but they didn’t seem to care and would just change the subject.
Towards the end of the first trimester R and I got into an argument over text because she kept “jokingly” saying that she wanted to kill my mom because my mom said she couldn’t come over. I’m so grateful for my mom for not letting R come over unsupervised. I don’t know what she would have done if she had been allowed over and left completely alone with me. For the first time i actually stood up for myself and told R that I was really tired because it was pretty late at the time and that I would talk to her at school in the morning. After that i turned off my phone and went to sleep.
The next morning i wake up and see that i have a TON of notifications from R. I check and she’s ranting about finding stuff on Reddit. She called me a whore and said that I was trying to hookup with ped0s. I check my Reddit account which I hadn’t even been on in a while and there were post with nude pictures of me that I don’t even remember posting. I took them down of course. They were indeed pictures of me but I didn’t have them anywhere on my phone nor do I remember posting them. I was really confused and hurt by what she had said to me so I tried to text her and ask wtf was going on but she had blocked me. I went to school hoping to talk and figure out wtf was happening.
I saw P and told her what happened and she texted R. R told her that she was taking a mental health day because of what I had done. P was as usual pretty indifferent despite how upset I was. R later told P that I had been messaging adult men and trying to meet with them. I told P my side and they said that I probably didn’t remember making the post because I was high or something. I still cared about R and managed to convince myself that maybe somehow I did make the post and just forgot. The next day R did come back to school and had cut there hair down to there shoulders. Their hair was always really long and they had always said that they would be devastated if it ever got cut. I was pretty upset and on the verge of breaking down all day because i thought that R cut it because of me.
I made it through first period but when I was just about to head into my second period R walked by. It was odd because my class wasn’t on the way to R’s second period. I broke down and left a bit into second period. I texted P say that I was going home because I was literally hyperventilating and sobbing in class. In the message I mentioned that the stuff R was saying to me made me feel Ike i wasn’t deserving to even be with them. They took this as me breaking up with her over text even though it wasn’t my intent but I guess could have maybe been interpreted that way? My mom picked me up and I told her that I’d tell her what was happening once I was actually able to breathe properly.
She let me go upstairs and cry for a while before I eventually told her everything that had happened. She said that IF I had posted the pictures that it was not ok but that how R and P were treating me was definitely not justified. She told me to block them and to call my therapist. She said that i didn’t have to go to school for a bit. I hadn’t told her everything R had done but just the stuff that had happened in the last few days.
When I did get back to school P and I talked they said that we were over but that they were still gonna be with R. I was confused and didn’t understand but they continued to be very hostile towards me. I still cared a lot about them and just felt really betrayed that after everything they just kinda kicked me to the curb. P said that they were willing to still be friends. I asked if they still wanted me to sit next to them in the classes we had together and she said that she didn’t care. I sat next to them but they glared at me the whole time and just general acted pissed off so I moved to a different table towards the back of the room and just kinda cried. The teacher checked up on me but I said I was fine. I said I just didn’t want to talk about it and he accepted that but still checked in on me. After that we just did talk like at all.
Someone who I had sat next to during lit n comp notice that i looked like well… a mess. He and i weren’t close or anything but we kinda knew each others. I said that P and I broke up and they immediately pulled me out of the class with them and into a room our school had called the ssc. It was kinda for neurodivergent kids and just generally for decompressing if students got overwhelmed with something. We talked in there and in my distress I just kinda let it all spill. They seemed really pissed but not at me. He was pissed at R and P. He held me and comforted me through the rest of the day. I’ll call him E
E was coincidentally good friends with some people I was sorta friends with in middle school. They basically adopted me into there group and came together to comfort me as well as keep an eye on my throughout the school day in case R and P tried to say anything to me. They didn’t trust them and after showing them all the threats and messages R had sent me most of them told me to report it to the school and potentially get a restraining order. They mentioned that a lot of the stuff R AND P were doing to me was textbook abuse.
P would often bite me and when I asked them to stop she would just say that it was their way of “showing affection”. Most of the time there biting would be really painful and I would practically beg them to stop because it hurting me. There were usually at least bruises from it. R had also had me cut myself because it “turned them on”. They would both “jokingly jab me specifically in my ribs even though I said that it hurt and that i didn’t find it funny just painful.
One day after 5th period R roughly grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. P just stood and watched. R told me that they cut themselves because of me and that i need to get another therapist. She said that I needed to fix myself. She yelled at me a lot and because of stuff from my childhood i started to cry just from her raising her voice. I didn’t know what to say to I apologized and said that I’ll do better. After she stoped yelling P asked if i wanted a hug. I was honestly disgusted at the thought of them touching me and that fact that they said and did nothing that whole time. I said no and admittedly said it in a very harsh tone. I went inside and one of my friends (B) immediately rushed up to me and asked if I was ok. He had seen R grab me but couldn’t find where she had pulled me to. I said I was fine physically and he had me go with him and tell our other friends what happened. They were all pretty pissed and again told me to report it.
At the time i didn’t want P or R to get in any trouble so i didn’t say or do anything. I just wanted to be drama free for a bit and forget about everything. I fell behind in my school work but managed to just barely pass. Eventually after lots of convincing from my mom, friends, and therapist I did compile a list as well as screen shots of messages as proof and reported it to the school. I asked them to not anything to P and R if they could because I still cared about them and didn’t want to cause more trouble. Me and the principal agreed that it would all be put on record but that nothing would come of anything unless something were to happen in the future. I was urged to get at least a restraining order since R had threatened mine and many other people lives including my pets over text. I do not have a restraining order
Even though everyone tells me that i wasn’t in the wrong I still worry that maybe somehow I might be. Maybe everyone was just biased because they knew me first. I do feel gross and used in a way but I don’t know… I don’t want to believe that these people who I loved and cared for so much are actually as cruel as it seems. I’m kinda hoping that I was the one in the wrong. They’re not very nice to anyone including each other but they can’t actually be bad people right? It wasn’t a lot but there were at least a few good memories. It’s my fault for not communicating enough or something right? Please tell me that ITAH. They’re still good people somehow.
2024.06.09 05:52 WatercressOpposite23 AITAH for wishing that my partner's parents weren't too involved in our relationship?
I don't usually vent or rant about my relationship. I prefer to keep things between my partner and I. However, this time I feel conflicted and overwhelmed, as well as guilty for wishing that his parents weren't too involved in our relationship.
My boyfriend and I are in a very healthy relationship. We don't have problems or arguments that end up with one of us crying or breaking down. We always solve our disagreements calmly and communicate how we feel, as we value one another to the very core. We have always been understanding and supportive to each other.
Within our relationship, almost all of our disagreements are because of his parents. At first, I was under the impression that his family loves and adores me as one of their own. But as time passed, more and more problems began to sprout, and it seemed as though every little thing I did always caused issues on their end.
Mind you, I am a very understanding person. I have given them nothing but utter respect, and I am very open to them about many aspects in my life. My past relationships, my trauma, my family, etc etc. Whatever they asked, I responded to with pure honesty. It didn't matter if it was an uncomfortable topic for me. I valued the "bond" that we shared, and began to consider his parents as one of my own, regardless of the times where they hurt me because of their own assumptions of me and straightforward advice.
I listened well and even encouraged my partner to be more open with his family, as I acknowledge that we need their guidance and support in order to develop our relationship. But the thing is, it has become TOO much. To the point that even a slightest mistake on my end (regardless if it was in the past, and when I say past, I mean a few years ago or so.) sparked disagreements and arguments in his family. Because apparently, it is STILL in my character. It didn't matter if I improved or changed, it was always held against me.
They called me weak, I accepted. Because I knew it was true, no matter how much it hurt. My past is a very sensitive topic to me. I used to be in an abusive relationship, where my ex would take advantage of me sexually. He would hurt me physically and verbally. Calling me derogatory terms and implying that I was nothing without him. At that period of my life, I truly was weak-willed and vulnerable. I didn't have the courage to go against him in the past, but when I met my current partner, my personality changed.
My partner and our friends helped me realize that my ex was abusive, which is why I got the courage to break free. The next few months consisted of them helping me heal and go forward. My partner, my best friend, is a huge impact in my life. Because of him, I was able to get the courage to be open to my family. (My family and I used to have a rough relationship. Over time, with the encouragement of my partner, I was able to have a comfortable and healthy bond with them. I became more open, and my mental health was slowly getting better, as this growth helped me achieve something I never thought I could achieve.) Everything was going well, at least I thought it was.
Turns out, on my partner's end, it was not going well. His family had many opinions about me. Wanting to learn if me and my ex had sex, why I didn't do anything with the disrespect, and more. They had problems with my personality, because I cursed, because I influence my partner too much, and constantly expected me to adjust according to what they believe is right. No matter how many times I apologised, attempted to make things right, and practically took on a dominant role in my relationship just to satisfy them and lead my partner to a "better" path that they wanted. It was still not enough.
It got to the point where they would access my partner's accounts to snoop around. They would use it against me, claiming that I am not a good girlfriend. They would take screenshots of private matters (Not sexual. Me and my partner are not sexual, as he knows that I am not comfortable with it due to my past relationship.) and hold my partner accountable. They would punish him for speaking to me late at night, punish him for going out with me, punish him for going to my house, and etc. I'm confused, of course, since they allowed the relationship and even helped my partner pursue me.
They would make comparisons of our relationship, to their relationship as husband and wife. They were unsatisfied with how my partner handles our relationship, despite the fact that people have different ways to show love. They would expect my partner to do the same things they did while they were courting each other. I get that they want what's best for us, more on whats best for him, but my partner is starting to get paranoid and uncomfortable with it. He stood up to them plenty of times (which resulted to him getting punished.) and I truly do admire him for being so brave. Though, I wish he didn't have to defend me against his family. I never wanted to cause problems, which is why I constantly made adjustments as they see fit, and changed to become better for him and his family.
They even tried to set my partner up with his first love, (his crush of over 5 years, they were never in a relationship.) despite knowing that he is in a relationship with me. They would offer him money to go on dates with her, which he has always denied. (he would argue with them too, saying that he doesn't like her, that he loves me, and etc.) they even forced him to keep contact with her, even though they know that I have opened up to him and them about how it makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel as though I am not respected nor valued.
Even though they see all of the effort I put into the relationship, it is still not enough. I bought/made them and my boyfriend gifts, encouraged my boyfriend to bond with them more, wrote letters expressing my dedication and love, I even told him that I was okay with being his LAST PRIORITY. I told him that above all else, I will be happy if he puts his family and friends first before me. Since his family claimed that he does not like spending time with them like he does with me, that he only focuses on me, that he does not manage his time to focus on other people who want his attention like his friends.
I don't know anymore. I don't feel happy. I don't want to understand the circumstances of the situation any longer. I feel like I'm being disregarded and pushed aside. I feel like I am not enough, and most of all, I feel guilty for wishing that they wouldn't try to snoop around or get involved in our relationship. I feel guilty for wishing that I didn't have to constantly understand their side instead of acknowledging my own feelings. My partner tries to establish a clear boundary, which his family does not understand. All I want to do is cry. I feel my mental health deteriorating at extreme lengths, to the point where I have begun contemplating and begging god for death, just so my partner wouldn't have to suffer because of me. I don't want to break up with him, but what if that's the only way he could be at peace with his family? I don't know what to do.
please do not post this on any other social media platform, this is the only place where I feel comfortable with this being shared. I genuinely need advice.
submitted by WatercressOpposite23 to AITAH [link] [comments]
My boyfriend and I are in a very healthy relationship. We don't have problems or arguments that end up with one of us crying or breaking down. We always solve our disagreements calmly and communicate how we feel, as we value one another to the very core. We have always been understanding and supportive to each other.
Within our relationship, almost all of our disagreements are because of his parents. At first, I was under the impression that his family loves and adores me as one of their own. But as time passed, more and more problems began to sprout, and it seemed as though every little thing I did always caused issues on their end.
Mind you, I am a very understanding person. I have given them nothing but utter respect, and I am very open to them about many aspects in my life. My past relationships, my trauma, my family, etc etc. Whatever they asked, I responded to with pure honesty. It didn't matter if it was an uncomfortable topic for me. I valued the "bond" that we shared, and began to consider his parents as one of my own, regardless of the times where they hurt me because of their own assumptions of me and straightforward advice.
I listened well and even encouraged my partner to be more open with his family, as I acknowledge that we need their guidance and support in order to develop our relationship. But the thing is, it has become TOO much. To the point that even a slightest mistake on my end (regardless if it was in the past, and when I say past, I mean a few years ago or so.) sparked disagreements and arguments in his family. Because apparently, it is STILL in my character. It didn't matter if I improved or changed, it was always held against me.
They called me weak, I accepted. Because I knew it was true, no matter how much it hurt. My past is a very sensitive topic to me. I used to be in an abusive relationship, where my ex would take advantage of me sexually. He would hurt me physically and verbally. Calling me derogatory terms and implying that I was nothing without him. At that period of my life, I truly was weak-willed and vulnerable. I didn't have the courage to go against him in the past, but when I met my current partner, my personality changed.
My partner and our friends helped me realize that my ex was abusive, which is why I got the courage to break free. The next few months consisted of them helping me heal and go forward. My partner, my best friend, is a huge impact in my life. Because of him, I was able to get the courage to be open to my family. (My family and I used to have a rough relationship. Over time, with the encouragement of my partner, I was able to have a comfortable and healthy bond with them. I became more open, and my mental health was slowly getting better, as this growth helped me achieve something I never thought I could achieve.) Everything was going well, at least I thought it was.
Turns out, on my partner's end, it was not going well. His family had many opinions about me. Wanting to learn if me and my ex had sex, why I didn't do anything with the disrespect, and more. They had problems with my personality, because I cursed, because I influence my partner too much, and constantly expected me to adjust according to what they believe is right. No matter how many times I apologised, attempted to make things right, and practically took on a dominant role in my relationship just to satisfy them and lead my partner to a "better" path that they wanted. It was still not enough.
It got to the point where they would access my partner's accounts to snoop around. They would use it against me, claiming that I am not a good girlfriend. They would take screenshots of private matters (Not sexual. Me and my partner are not sexual, as he knows that I am not comfortable with it due to my past relationship.) and hold my partner accountable. They would punish him for speaking to me late at night, punish him for going out with me, punish him for going to my house, and etc. I'm confused, of course, since they allowed the relationship and even helped my partner pursue me.
They would make comparisons of our relationship, to their relationship as husband and wife. They were unsatisfied with how my partner handles our relationship, despite the fact that people have different ways to show love. They would expect my partner to do the same things they did while they were courting each other. I get that they want what's best for us, more on whats best for him, but my partner is starting to get paranoid and uncomfortable with it. He stood up to them plenty of times (which resulted to him getting punished.) and I truly do admire him for being so brave. Though, I wish he didn't have to defend me against his family. I never wanted to cause problems, which is why I constantly made adjustments as they see fit, and changed to become better for him and his family.
They even tried to set my partner up with his first love, (his crush of over 5 years, they were never in a relationship.) despite knowing that he is in a relationship with me. They would offer him money to go on dates with her, which he has always denied. (he would argue with them too, saying that he doesn't like her, that he loves me, and etc.) they even forced him to keep contact with her, even though they know that I have opened up to him and them about how it makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel as though I am not respected nor valued.
Even though they see all of the effort I put into the relationship, it is still not enough. I bought/made them and my boyfriend gifts, encouraged my boyfriend to bond with them more, wrote letters expressing my dedication and love, I even told him that I was okay with being his LAST PRIORITY. I told him that above all else, I will be happy if he puts his family and friends first before me. Since his family claimed that he does not like spending time with them like he does with me, that he only focuses on me, that he does not manage his time to focus on other people who want his attention like his friends.
I don't know anymore. I don't feel happy. I don't want to understand the circumstances of the situation any longer. I feel like I'm being disregarded and pushed aside. I feel like I am not enough, and most of all, I feel guilty for wishing that they wouldn't try to snoop around or get involved in our relationship. I feel guilty for wishing that I didn't have to constantly understand their side instead of acknowledging my own feelings. My partner tries to establish a clear boundary, which his family does not understand. All I want to do is cry. I feel my mental health deteriorating at extreme lengths, to the point where I have begun contemplating and begging god for death, just so my partner wouldn't have to suffer because of me. I don't want to break up with him, but what if that's the only way he could be at peace with his family? I don't know what to do.
please do not post this on any other social media platform, this is the only place where I feel comfortable with this being shared. I genuinely need advice.
2024.06.09 05:50 emma666poop [European History:Essay Writing] how can I formulate my 3-4 pg. essay?
Hi! I am a sophomore in high school and have a few days to write an essay on any arguable topic in European history. My thesis statement is something along the lines of "Cold War tensions caused unprecedented cooperation and alliances between Western Europe and the United States"
Can I format this like I would an English essay? Introduction, 3 body paragraphs (Marshall plan, Truman doctrine, NATO], and conclusion? I have to make sure it is a little over 3 pages. I have never written a history essay before, so I am a little worried. Thank you for any help!
submitted by emma666poop to HomeworkHelp [link] [comments]
Can I format this like I would an English essay? Introduction, 3 body paragraphs (Marshall plan, Truman doctrine, NATO], and conclusion? I have to make sure it is a little over 3 pages. I have never written a history essay before, so I am a little worried. Thank you for any help!
2024.06.09 05:43 GenX2XADHD How to Write a Paper When You Have ADHD
Getting organized to sit down and write a major term paper is such a daunting task for us folks with ADHD. As a student I would have vague ideas of what I want to write, but lacked the executive function to get to the job done. I would stare at a blank Word doc, type a sentence, delete a sentence, repeat. Unexpected for a writing major, I know. Are you looking for a way to break out of this cycle?
May I present: the Index Card Method.
As a high school student in the 1990s, I was forced to use this method to write a ten page senior thesis. Nearly all senior level English classes in my school used this method. Prior to that year, I had seen students carrying around fat stacks of index cards, protecting them like their ability to graduate depended on them. It did. I begrudgingly followed this methodical approach even though it wasn't "the way I write." Ironically, I found it so helpful I continued using this method throughout college, and admittedly even in grad school 25 years later.
What is it?
It's a low-tech system of organizing your sources, topics, details, citations, and anything else that goes into your paper.
Why low-tech?
It is a hands-on process loaded with sensory actions. Physically handling and arranging the index cards helps me focus on a task. Filling out an index card and setting it aside and then picking up another FEELS productive. Seeing a growing pile of index cards as you move through the project LOOKS like productivity. These sensory activities boost my momentum.
The best part of this method is how it breaks down a mountain of a project into smaller tasks without requiring me to create a big plan before I can start working on it. The size of each task is literally the size of an index card. Plus, it is an opportunity to use those cool pens you bought the last time you said you would start journaling.
The Index Card Method cannot be done the night before a paper is due, at least I wouldn't try it anyway. If you don't like writing outlines or drafts, give this method a try - but if you're cramming, do give yourself a week to get it done.
How does it work?
Do not get 150 4x6 cards. They must be 3x5.
For this post, I will assume anyone following this method is using lined index cards. It does not matter if the cards are lined, but know that when I say "On the top line write..." I mean where the actual top line of the card would be. This also means you will be writing across width of the cards in landscape orientation, meaning a full line of text on a 3x5 card runs 5 inches, not 3 inches.
There are two simple, but vital rules to remember when creating cards.
In the center of the top line of your thesis card, write "Thesis Statement."
Now write your thesis statement below that.
Topics should be broad, written as one or two words. Create as many topic cards as you think you will need. You can always create more later, so don't get stuck on this part.
Example: topics related to a thesis on the healthcare industry may include: Insurance, Costs, Medicare, Medicaid, Prevention, Prescription Drugs, Hospitals, etc.
Split a topic if you need to. "Costs" could also be split into "Consumer Costs" and "National Costs", then "Insurance" and "Prescription Drugs".
Don't expect to have a lot of topic cards at this point. You may only have one or two subtopics for each broad topic. This is fine. You can always add more as you go along.
Take a picture of your topic cards in this arrangement.
Congratulations, you just made an outline!
Now type it out. Title it "Preliminary Outline."
In the upper left hand corner of the card on the top line, write the number "1", as it is your first Bibliography card. This is your source ID.
Now write the complete and proper reference of your source, formatted according to your citation style. Include doi links, if applicable. Where italic font is used in a citation, underline it on your card.
Open a new document file. Title it "References", "Works Cited", etc., depending on your citation style. Type out your bibliography cards in the order appropriate to your citation style. Most likely they will be alphabetical by author. As you find more sources and write out bibliography cards, add them to this document.
About citation styles:
A citation style is a way to reference your sources, specifically how you list them out and how you identify where you found a fact or quote.
If you are in highschool, your teacher will tell you how to write write and format sources and citations. If they don't, ask.
If you are an undergrad, most professors don't care which style you choose, but they want it consistent. If this is the case, I recommend using APA or MLA because they use simple, in-line citations.
If you are a graduate student, use the appropriate style for your field. If your reference style uses foot notes or end notes, please be aware you may need to create citation IDs later to help you stay organized.
This is where I would normally say it does not matter if your sources are printed or digital, but for many of us it does matter. Stepping away from technology is one the reasons I find this method so effective. I encourage you to print articles or photocopy sources when possible.
Your school likely has access to full-text articles online that can be downloaded as PDFs and printed later.
If your source is text from a website, right click on in the body of the text and select Print. When the print window pops up, select PDF (or Adobe PDF) as your printer. In the next pop up, select where you would like to store your file. Your source is now saved as a PDF. By the way, printing to a PDF is the easiest way to save a file while maintaining its formatting. Try it from any program. Now when you print it to paper, it will look like the PDF.
In the upper left corner on the top line, write the source ID that matches the one on its respective bibliography card.
In the upper right corner on the top line of each card write the page number(s) from your source as "p 87" or "pp 87-88". If your source does not have page numbers, write your source's equivalent as it applies (act/scene numbers, time stamp, etc.). Look up a style reference guide for requirements.
Now in your own words, write about an area you highlighted. If you want to directly quote the article, make sure you use quotation marks. Otherwise, simply paraphrase it. Use complete sentences.
If you are copying a long quote and run out of room on a card, write the topic, source ID, and page number on another new card and continue writing your quote. In the bottom right corners write "1 of 2" and "2 of 2" respectively.
Create bibliography and detail cards for all your sources. Find more sources as needed. For a 10-page double spaced paper, expect to have around 150-200 detail cards.
By this time you may also want to combine or eliminate topics because your project took a different direction from when you first wrote them. This is fine.
When you think you have enough detail cards, sort them into piles by topic. Now arrange your detail cards in columns under their topics in a way that makes sense to you.
Take a picture of all your cards in this arrangement.
Congratulations, you just layed out your final outline!
You should not have anything in your final outline that is not written down on an index card.
Now print it . Proofread it. Ask a friend to proofread it. Mark it up and make any necessary changes on paper. Don't change any quoted text because quotes are ...well ...quotes.
Your paper is done.
High school students, if your teacher doesn't think you've made enough changes between your draft and your final copy, hand over your stack of index cards, both outlines, and your highlighted sources. They will know you didn't use ChatGPT or copy someone else's work because you can't fake what you've just handed to them.
Edit: See my other post for a technique that harnesses your ADHD to help you organize a project or to present new ideas to a group.
https://www.reddit.com/TwoXADHD/s/Y4pUfQR0R3
submitted by GenX2XADHD to TwoXADHD [link] [comments]
May I present: the Index Card Method.
As a high school student in the 1990s, I was forced to use this method to write a ten page senior thesis. Nearly all senior level English classes in my school used this method. Prior to that year, I had seen students carrying around fat stacks of index cards, protecting them like their ability to graduate depended on them. It did. I begrudgingly followed this methodical approach even though it wasn't "the way I write." Ironically, I found it so helpful I continued using this method throughout college, and admittedly even in grad school 25 years later.
What is it?
It's a low-tech system of organizing your sources, topics, details, citations, and anything else that goes into your paper.
Why low-tech?
It is a hands-on process loaded with sensory actions. Physically handling and arranging the index cards helps me focus on a task. Filling out an index card and setting it aside and then picking up another FEELS productive. Seeing a growing pile of index cards as you move through the project LOOKS like productivity. These sensory activities boost my momentum.
The best part of this method is how it breaks down a mountain of a project into smaller tasks without requiring me to create a big plan before I can start working on it. The size of each task is literally the size of an index card. Plus, it is an opportunity to use those cool pens you bought the last time you said you would start journaling.
The Index Card Method cannot be done the night before a paper is due, at least I wouldn't try it anyway. If you don't like writing outlines or drafts, give this method a try - but if you're cramming, do give yourself a week to get it done.
How does it work?
Step 1: Cards
Get some 3x5 index cards. For a 10-page, double spaced paper, you will need around 300 cards.Do not get 150 4x6 cards. They must be 3x5.
For this post, I will assume anyone following this method is using lined index cards. It does not matter if the cards are lined, but know that when I say "On the top line write..." I mean where the actual top line of the card would be. This also means you will be writing across width of the cards in landscape orientation, meaning a full line of text on a 3x5 card runs 5 inches, not 3 inches.
There are two simple, but vital rules to remember when creating cards.
- Only write on one side of the card. Leave the other side blank. You will need to see all of a card's contents at a quick glance.
- If you make a mistake on a card, immediately tear it in half so it doesn't get mixed up with the ones you want to keep.
Step 2: Thesis card
You will only have a thesis card if you are writing a thesis (argument) paper.In the center of the top line of your thesis card, write "Thesis Statement."
Now write your thesis statement below that.
Step 3: Topic cards
In the center of the top line write "Topic." Below that, write the name of a topic related to your thesis statement.Topics should be broad, written as one or two words. Create as many topic cards as you think you will need. You can always create more later, so don't get stuck on this part.
Example: topics related to a thesis on the healthcare industry may include: Insurance, Costs, Medicare, Medicaid, Prevention, Prescription Drugs, Hospitals, etc.
Step 4: First Layout
Spread out your topic cards on a table. Select the broadest topics and line them up in a row in the order in which you would like them in your paper. Now arrange the narrower topics in columns below the broad topics in the order that makes sense to you. Using the example of the healthcare industry in the previous step, "Costs" may be a broad topic with "Insurance" and "Prescription Drugs" listed beneath it.Split a topic if you need to. "Costs" could also be split into "Consumer Costs" and "National Costs", then "Insurance" and "Prescription Drugs".
Don't expect to have a lot of topic cards at this point. You may only have one or two subtopics for each broad topic. This is fine. You can always add more as you go along.
Take a picture of your topic cards in this arrangement.
Congratulations, you just made an outline!
Now type it out. Title it "Preliminary Outline."
Step 5: Sources
Go find sources you would like to use for your paper. When you find a source you would like to use, create a bibliography card.Step 6: Bibliography cards
In the center of the top line write "Bibliography".In the upper left hand corner of the card on the top line, write the number "1", as it is your first Bibliography card. This is your source ID.
Now write the complete and proper reference of your source, formatted according to your citation style. Include doi links, if applicable. Where italic font is used in a citation, underline it on your card.
Open a new document file. Title it "References", "Works Cited", etc., depending on your citation style. Type out your bibliography cards in the order appropriate to your citation style. Most likely they will be alphabetical by author. As you find more sources and write out bibliography cards, add them to this document.
About citation styles:
A citation style is a way to reference your sources, specifically how you list them out and how you identify where you found a fact or quote.
If you are in highschool, your teacher will tell you how to write write and format sources and citations. If they don't, ask.
If you are an undergrad, most professors don't care which style you choose, but they want it consistent. If this is the case, I recommend using APA or MLA because they use simple, in-line citations.
If you are a graduate student, use the appropriate style for your field. If your reference style uses foot notes or end notes, please be aware you may need to create citation IDs later to help you stay organized.
Step 7: Read and Highlight
As you read through your sources, highlight anything that stands out to you that you may want to use in your paper.This is where I would normally say it does not matter if your sources are printed or digital, but for many of us it does matter. Stepping away from technology is one the reasons I find this method so effective. I encourage you to print articles or photocopy sources when possible.
Your school likely has access to full-text articles online that can be downloaded as PDFs and printed later.
If your source is text from a website, right click on in the body of the text and select Print. When the print window pops up, select PDF (or Adobe PDF) as your printer. In the next pop up, select where you would like to store your file. Your source is now saved as a PDF. By the way, printing to a PDF is the easiest way to save a file while maintaining its formatting. Try it from any program. Now when you print it to paper, it will look like the PDF.
STEP 8: Detail cards
In the center of the top line write the topic related to the highlighted text. If you do not have a related topic card, make one.In the upper left corner on the top line, write the source ID that matches the one on its respective bibliography card.
In the upper right corner on the top line of each card write the page number(s) from your source as "p 87" or "pp 87-88". If your source does not have page numbers, write your source's equivalent as it applies (act/scene numbers, time stamp, etc.). Look up a style reference guide for requirements.
Now in your own words, write about an area you highlighted. If you want to directly quote the article, make sure you use quotation marks. Otherwise, simply paraphrase it. Use complete sentences.
If you are copying a long quote and run out of room on a card, write the topic, source ID, and page number on another new card and continue writing your quote. In the bottom right corners write "1 of 2" and "2 of 2" respectively.
Create bibliography and detail cards for all your sources. Find more sources as needed. For a 10-page double spaced paper, expect to have around 150-200 detail cards.
Step 9: Second Layout
Lay out all of your topic cards in the same order as your preliminary outline, only this time line them all up in one row.By this time you may also want to combine or eliminate topics because your project took a different direction from when you first wrote them. This is fine.
When you think you have enough detail cards, sort them into piles by topic. Now arrange your detail cards in columns under their topics in a way that makes sense to you.
Take a picture of all your cards in this arrangement.
Congratulations, you just layed out your final outline!
Step 10: Type Your Outline
Save a copy of your preliminary outline and title it "Final Outline." Fill in the text from the detail cards. Each detail card should be a separate bullet point on your outline. After typing out a detail card, add the citation at the end. You already know the source because you wrote the source number in the upper left hand corner of each card.You should not have anything in your final outline that is not written down on an index card.
Step 11: First Draft
Save a copy of your final outline and name it "First Draft." Now arrange your bullet points into paragraphs. This is your draft.Now print it . Proofread it. Ask a friend to proofread it. Mark it up and make any necessary changes on paper. Don't change any quoted text because quotes are ...well ...quotes.
Step 12: Final Copy
Save a copy of your First draft and name the file "Final Copy." Type the edits you handwrote on paper. I realize with today's technology a lot of proofreading and peer editing is done electronically. This is fine. If you're using Google Docs, be sure to use Suggestion Mode. If using Word, turn on Track Changes.Your paper is done.
High school students, if your teacher doesn't think you've made enough changes between your draft and your final copy, hand over your stack of index cards, both outlines, and your highlighted sources. They will know you didn't use ChatGPT or copy someone else's work because you can't fake what you've just handed to them.
Edit: See my other post for a technique that harnesses your ADHD to help you organize a project or to present new ideas to a group.
https://www.reddit.com/TwoXADHD/s/Y4pUfQR0R3
2024.06.09 05:06 sleepyquitecute Struggling with Overwhelming Tasks and Lack of Support in My First Job - Seeking Advice
I really love my work-from-home job and have been dedicated to completing every new task my boss assigns, often with little to no training or supervision. As I approach my first work anniversary this month, I find myself increasingly overwhelmed. Recently, I was assigned a complex task that isn't self-explanatory and varies based on specific situations. While this type of task might be manageable for someone in the engineering sector, I am merely an admin assistant and still learning.
Despite my efforts, I have made multiple mistakes. They provided a manual, but it’s only a general guide and doesn't cover the situational aspects of the tasks. I've been struggling and often end up in tears, afraid to ask for help. I explore every possible resource to get it right, but their feedback is always about what I did wrong and whether I read the manual.
With minimal training, I feel worthless despite doing my best. I want to write a letter to express my feelings and experiences and request to become a part-time employee. The pay (25-30K) is excellent for a fresh graduate, but I feel traumatized by their treatment and don't think I can continue full-time. I believe this will severely affect my mental health, which I want to avoid. Any advice on whether to request part-time hours or just leave?
submitted by sleepyquitecute to Advice [link] [comments]
Despite my efforts, I have made multiple mistakes. They provided a manual, but it’s only a general guide and doesn't cover the situational aspects of the tasks. I've been struggling and often end up in tears, afraid to ask for help. I explore every possible resource to get it right, but their feedback is always about what I did wrong and whether I read the manual.
With minimal training, I feel worthless despite doing my best. I want to write a letter to express my feelings and experiences and request to become a part-time employee. The pay (25-30K) is excellent for a fresh graduate, but I feel traumatized by their treatment and don't think I can continue full-time. I believe this will severely affect my mental health, which I want to avoid. Any advice on whether to request part-time hours or just leave?
2024.06.09 05:00 marriedtojungkook We are of different races, have been together for 3 years but my parents are making it very difficult for me to marry him and his parents don't approve of him being Muslim.
As-salamu alaykum. I am at a really low place and in need of some guidance.
I was born and raised Muslim Alhumdulilah. My mother is Arab-Hispanic, and my father is Arab. I am grateful for the ways my culture was prominent in our household, I speak Spanish/Arabic because of that. I am 21 years old right now, but when I was freshly out of high school I was very selfish, misguided, and living for fun in this Dunya. I dated this Arab-Muslim guy for about a year long distance when I was 17/18, ended things with him because we were very different and I was unhappy. I also talked to some other Arab guys, Muslim guys, and non-muslim guys, nothing serious but I was just being young and foolish. This was also peak COVID time so I was very lonely and just wanted a connection.
In 2021, I met this guy that I worked with and immediately had a crush on him. We liked each other so much, he was everything I wanted personality-wise. He is Asian and grew up Buddhist. He has always been so romantic, making me feel special i.e. writing me letters, surprising me with gifts at my bedroom window, exploring new places with me, sneaking around together, and going on fun-filled dates. Our relationship has felt like a movie.
I met his parents, but we kept our relationship hidden from my family as they do not approve of haram dating. I had told him from the start that I would only date him with the intention of marriage and I can't marry him unless he's Muslim. I also did not want him to convert for me, but only for Allah. Buddhism never felt right to him, he hated the idea of worshipping multiple Gods and felt lost with Buddhist teachings, so he was already interested in Islam before me. Islam was so simple to him and just made sense so he studied Islam on his own, made many Muslim friends, began going to the masjid, fasting, and practicing Islam after a few months of us being together.
Ramadan 2023 was very transformative for me, I was at a very low point in school with my depression and anxiety, Islam and his comfort got me through dark times. We began to think of our relationship much more seriously, focusing on school, and trying not to meet in private places anymore. We also began to take Islam much more seriously come Fall 2023. Both our deans were strengthening and we were dedicated to being better Muslims. In December 2023, he officially took his shahada Alhumdulilah. He recites the Quran more beautifully than anyone I have ever heard. We always glance at each other at Jummah prayer. He always reminds me of when it's time to pray and brings me closer to Allah.
After taking his shahada, he told me he wanted us to do our Fatiha ASAP. Despite us not being ready financially and still in school, he wanted us to tell my parents finally and get the ball rolling so we could do our nikkah in the new year. I was very hesitant and nervous but agreed because at the end of the day, I more than anything wanted us to be halal and wanted to love him openly for the sake of Allah.
I have never felt closer to Allah than this time in my life, I even committed to wearing the hijab in February 2024. Alhumdulilah. I hope to only increase my dean moving forward.
We made a plan to tell my parents in April 2024, a few days before Eid. I was very scared and anxious because my father is very intimidating, stubborn, and close-minded. I went into their room after Iftar and told them "I want to get married for the sake of Allah" They were both shocked but my dad said "Great. Fantastic." and I continued with "There is someone who would like to get to know me and talk to you first Baba" and he said "Do I know this person?" I said "No" he said "Where are they from?" and I said "He is Filipino-Japanese" and he said, "We'll talk about this later." My mother gave me a very angry look and said nothing, a couple of minutes later my dad came into my room saying "Don't worry about nothing Baba, we will figure this out and talk more later." I was very relieved and shocked that he didn't yell and scream at me. My mother texted me saying she is upset I didn't tell her and this is so shocking and I am so young blah blah blah. I knew they just needed time to process everything.
The story we were going to go with was just telling everyone we worked together long ago and reconnected through school (obviously not telling them we had been dating already for almost 3 years).
About 2 weeks later, my father finally told his brother (who is a second dad to me and my father leans on him a lot for everything). My uncle immediately wanted to speak and level with me, so I met up with him and told him about it, and he was very excited and supportive and asked for my partner's contact info ASAP so they could meet.
They met, my uncle loved him, about a week later he met both my parents, my parents liked him but my dad said "he isn't ready or have a set plan in life" just because my partner is still in school and sorting those kinds of things out for his future. The other big thing they didn't like was the fact that my partner's mother does not approve of him being Muslim and still doesn't know.
So let's get into that, basically, his family is of Buddhist religion but doesn't practice it at all. Although his mother loves me, and says she would love for us to marry, she will not allow him to be Muslim. She has threatened him in many ways, saying she should expose us to my family or kick him out of the house, saying she would never forgive him, he would dishonor his family, and he can't abandon the religion he was born with. Honestly, it's all nonsense and fear, but I understand this is just the mentality of most immigrant families. They left Japan before it became more westernized so they have very traditional values. She is also scared of Islam and has misconceptions about it, despite my partner always educating her. Ramadan was especially difficult for him as they would serve him food he couldn't refuse and make him eat pork. He is the oldest of six children, and all his little siblings support him and want us to be together. His father doesn't care about religion and knows he is Muslim. His grandmother who he is very close with, closer with than his mom, disapproves of him being Muslim also so they are the two that make this a challenge.
He told my parents some of that saying he can't tell his mother he is Muslim until he is financially stable enough to live on his own. My family really hates the idea of me having toxic in-laws or a mother-in-law that could raise hell in my life. Obviously, I don't want that for myself or my future children either but it is just something I have to sacrifice in the beginning and continue to make dua about in hopes they will come around one day.
My mom instructed me to just wait 6 months or longer before we move forward with the Fatiha so we can see where he is at and what changes for his circumstances. I agreed, and as much as we want to make it halal, we will wait if we have to.
In May 2024, I was preparing to graduate from university and I was crying the whole week of my graduation feeling so overwhelmed by my emotions of happiness, gratitude, but also pain as my extended family were all giving their opinions on my situation and some saying very hurtful superficial things. Many believe I could do better. Nobody tells you how when word gets out about you possibly marrying someone, everybody will give their unwarranted opinions.
Anyway, we had a little grad party at my house and my mom said I could invite him. I didn't run it past my dad because I just figured he was coming to support me the same way all my other friends were. My dad was furious that he was there and even had us wrap up the party early. That night I got a huge lecture from my father. I couldn't even really fight back, he is very scary when upset, and there were only so many words I could get in.
He went on a rant about how he feels disrespected. How I cannot marry him because he has no career, is not done with school, and has a bad situation with his mother. Honestly, all of this just feels like a buffer for this next part: "You can't marry him because he is Asian and you are not allowed to marry outside of the Arab culture." He said things like I would be destroying our bloodline, he couldn't look at his future grandkids the same way, he isn't good enough for me, my grandpas in their graves would be disappointed, he wants someone he can speak in Arabic with. He even suggested I find someone on an Arab dating app, but then contradicted himself saying someone should approach him first before trying to get to know me.
We are Palestinian and being Palestinian is everything to me, it is a huge part of my identity and I plan on making it a huge part of my children's identities also. However, culture is something that is taught and passed down, and not through blood. He said I could marry any Arab I wanted but that's also a contradiction because if he cared about Palestinian bloodline he would have me marry strictly Palestinian. None of this makes sense to me as we already have a very mixed family with A LOT of reverts. Also my father was very absent when I was growing up, he started becoming religious a lot later in life, and neither of my parents guided me well in Islam, Alhumdulilah I came to it on my own. It really upsets me that they expect me and my siblings to be super cultured, super Arab, and super religious when they also grew up in America and decided to raise us in this western society.
He said to put a big X on this guy because there is no way I can marry him. My father also said "To me, religion and culture are the same thing, they go hand in hand" and I said Astafuriallah you cannot equate Islam with any race/culture. I even quoted Surah Al-Baraqarah saying "It is better if your daughter marries a believer who is poor than a disbeliever who is rich."
Honestly, I was not expecting this to turn into a race thing. The situation with his mother is honestly the most difficult part, but something we can overcome through the grace of Allah. From all the opinions of everyone, it just feels like they don't care about my happiness and what I want. I am just so exhausted of living my life for other people when I only want to live it for Allah. I want to get married for Allah and I found someone who is a believer, who will love and take care of me and make me smile, isn't that enough? My father broke my heart that night and I was sobbing in my room. My sister comforted me and supported me saying just give it time and be patient, if it's meant to be it'll be.
What breaks my heart even more is that my partner has no one to turn to. I continue to tell him this is a test from Allah and you have to turn to him, but he feels so incredibly alone and neither of us knows where to go from here.
I have started nursing school this summer and have been busy with that, he is busy with work and classes. We decided to just take a step back and focus on our careers. But we still talk every day and see each other occasionally. There have been so many nights where we talk about our situation on FaceTime and just cry together. This man has been with me through everything. We feel like we are each other's soulmate, person, and best friend. All of our dreams of marriage and building a family together have been wrecked. We made promises of walking hand and hand into Jennah together, how can I leave someone I made those promises with? He feels like home to me. I was definitely naive in the beginning, made some mistakes, and I know it's my fault for falling in love as Allah tells us not to in order to avoid this kind of heartbreak. But I really just don't know what to do. We were trying to do everything right, and it still wasn't enough.
Maybe I could quote on quote do better, but even when I look at another man or find someone else attractive, nobody is comparable to him, and the way he knows all my deepest thoughts, weird antics, and insecurities. I have never been so vulnerable and intimate with another person, how can I throw that away?
They say in Islam that true love and marriage will come easily, but what about the ease after the burden? I thought good things take patience and come with hardships? I just have so much confusion, heartache, and unclarity. I prayed Isthikara but felt as though nothing came of it. I have never had this much difficulty listening to my heart and intuition before. I am so comfortable with him, the thought of starting over with someone new I can't comprehend. And if he finds another girl, what difference does it make for his situation? His mother will still not approve of Islam as of now. He feels like both his options are poison, and he will be much more miserable without me than with.
I watched the movie Past Lives recently and that destroyed me even more. If I marry someone else, I will always wonder what if it had been him, what if it worked out for us? How can I live with those thoughts? I would rather marry him and see how it goes, attempt happiness together, then have never tried at all and abandon what we have built. I am hoping this is just the climax of the movie before our happy ending and not the end of our story.
We feel lost, but love each other so much. Where do we go from here?
submitted by marriedtojungkook to islam [link] [comments]
I was born and raised Muslim Alhumdulilah. My mother is Arab-Hispanic, and my father is Arab. I am grateful for the ways my culture was prominent in our household, I speak Spanish/Arabic because of that. I am 21 years old right now, but when I was freshly out of high school I was very selfish, misguided, and living for fun in this Dunya. I dated this Arab-Muslim guy for about a year long distance when I was 17/18, ended things with him because we were very different and I was unhappy. I also talked to some other Arab guys, Muslim guys, and non-muslim guys, nothing serious but I was just being young and foolish. This was also peak COVID time so I was very lonely and just wanted a connection.
In 2021, I met this guy that I worked with and immediately had a crush on him. We liked each other so much, he was everything I wanted personality-wise. He is Asian and grew up Buddhist. He has always been so romantic, making me feel special i.e. writing me letters, surprising me with gifts at my bedroom window, exploring new places with me, sneaking around together, and going on fun-filled dates. Our relationship has felt like a movie.
I met his parents, but we kept our relationship hidden from my family as they do not approve of haram dating. I had told him from the start that I would only date him with the intention of marriage and I can't marry him unless he's Muslim. I also did not want him to convert for me, but only for Allah. Buddhism never felt right to him, he hated the idea of worshipping multiple Gods and felt lost with Buddhist teachings, so he was already interested in Islam before me. Islam was so simple to him and just made sense so he studied Islam on his own, made many Muslim friends, began going to the masjid, fasting, and practicing Islam after a few months of us being together.
Ramadan 2023 was very transformative for me, I was at a very low point in school with my depression and anxiety, Islam and his comfort got me through dark times. We began to think of our relationship much more seriously, focusing on school, and trying not to meet in private places anymore. We also began to take Islam much more seriously come Fall 2023. Both our deans were strengthening and we were dedicated to being better Muslims. In December 2023, he officially took his shahada Alhumdulilah. He recites the Quran more beautifully than anyone I have ever heard. We always glance at each other at Jummah prayer. He always reminds me of when it's time to pray and brings me closer to Allah.
After taking his shahada, he told me he wanted us to do our Fatiha ASAP. Despite us not being ready financially and still in school, he wanted us to tell my parents finally and get the ball rolling so we could do our nikkah in the new year. I was very hesitant and nervous but agreed because at the end of the day, I more than anything wanted us to be halal and wanted to love him openly for the sake of Allah.
I have never felt closer to Allah than this time in my life, I even committed to wearing the hijab in February 2024. Alhumdulilah. I hope to only increase my dean moving forward.
We made a plan to tell my parents in April 2024, a few days before Eid. I was very scared and anxious because my father is very intimidating, stubborn, and close-minded. I went into their room after Iftar and told them "I want to get married for the sake of Allah" They were both shocked but my dad said "Great. Fantastic." and I continued with "There is someone who would like to get to know me and talk to you first Baba" and he said "Do I know this person?" I said "No" he said "Where are they from?" and I said "He is Filipino-Japanese" and he said, "We'll talk about this later." My mother gave me a very angry look and said nothing, a couple of minutes later my dad came into my room saying "Don't worry about nothing Baba, we will figure this out and talk more later." I was very relieved and shocked that he didn't yell and scream at me. My mother texted me saying she is upset I didn't tell her and this is so shocking and I am so young blah blah blah. I knew they just needed time to process everything.
The story we were going to go with was just telling everyone we worked together long ago and reconnected through school (obviously not telling them we had been dating already for almost 3 years).
About 2 weeks later, my father finally told his brother (who is a second dad to me and my father leans on him a lot for everything). My uncle immediately wanted to speak and level with me, so I met up with him and told him about it, and he was very excited and supportive and asked for my partner's contact info ASAP so they could meet.
They met, my uncle loved him, about a week later he met both my parents, my parents liked him but my dad said "he isn't ready or have a set plan in life" just because my partner is still in school and sorting those kinds of things out for his future. The other big thing they didn't like was the fact that my partner's mother does not approve of him being Muslim and still doesn't know.
So let's get into that, basically, his family is of Buddhist religion but doesn't practice it at all. Although his mother loves me, and says she would love for us to marry, she will not allow him to be Muslim. She has threatened him in many ways, saying she should expose us to my family or kick him out of the house, saying she would never forgive him, he would dishonor his family, and he can't abandon the religion he was born with. Honestly, it's all nonsense and fear, but I understand this is just the mentality of most immigrant families. They left Japan before it became more westernized so they have very traditional values. She is also scared of Islam and has misconceptions about it, despite my partner always educating her. Ramadan was especially difficult for him as they would serve him food he couldn't refuse and make him eat pork. He is the oldest of six children, and all his little siblings support him and want us to be together. His father doesn't care about religion and knows he is Muslim. His grandmother who he is very close with, closer with than his mom, disapproves of him being Muslim also so they are the two that make this a challenge.
He told my parents some of that saying he can't tell his mother he is Muslim until he is financially stable enough to live on his own. My family really hates the idea of me having toxic in-laws or a mother-in-law that could raise hell in my life. Obviously, I don't want that for myself or my future children either but it is just something I have to sacrifice in the beginning and continue to make dua about in hopes they will come around one day.
My mom instructed me to just wait 6 months or longer before we move forward with the Fatiha so we can see where he is at and what changes for his circumstances. I agreed, and as much as we want to make it halal, we will wait if we have to.
In May 2024, I was preparing to graduate from university and I was crying the whole week of my graduation feeling so overwhelmed by my emotions of happiness, gratitude, but also pain as my extended family were all giving their opinions on my situation and some saying very hurtful superficial things. Many believe I could do better. Nobody tells you how when word gets out about you possibly marrying someone, everybody will give their unwarranted opinions.
Anyway, we had a little grad party at my house and my mom said I could invite him. I didn't run it past my dad because I just figured he was coming to support me the same way all my other friends were. My dad was furious that he was there and even had us wrap up the party early. That night I got a huge lecture from my father. I couldn't even really fight back, he is very scary when upset, and there were only so many words I could get in.
He went on a rant about how he feels disrespected. How I cannot marry him because he has no career, is not done with school, and has a bad situation with his mother. Honestly, all of this just feels like a buffer for this next part: "You can't marry him because he is Asian and you are not allowed to marry outside of the Arab culture." He said things like I would be destroying our bloodline, he couldn't look at his future grandkids the same way, he isn't good enough for me, my grandpas in their graves would be disappointed, he wants someone he can speak in Arabic with. He even suggested I find someone on an Arab dating app, but then contradicted himself saying someone should approach him first before trying to get to know me.
We are Palestinian and being Palestinian is everything to me, it is a huge part of my identity and I plan on making it a huge part of my children's identities also. However, culture is something that is taught and passed down, and not through blood. He said I could marry any Arab I wanted but that's also a contradiction because if he cared about Palestinian bloodline he would have me marry strictly Palestinian. None of this makes sense to me as we already have a very mixed family with A LOT of reverts. Also my father was very absent when I was growing up, he started becoming religious a lot later in life, and neither of my parents guided me well in Islam, Alhumdulilah I came to it on my own. It really upsets me that they expect me and my siblings to be super cultured, super Arab, and super religious when they also grew up in America and decided to raise us in this western society.
He said to put a big X on this guy because there is no way I can marry him. My father also said "To me, religion and culture are the same thing, they go hand in hand" and I said Astafuriallah you cannot equate Islam with any race/culture. I even quoted Surah Al-Baraqarah saying "It is better if your daughter marries a believer who is poor than a disbeliever who is rich."
Honestly, I was not expecting this to turn into a race thing. The situation with his mother is honestly the most difficult part, but something we can overcome through the grace of Allah. From all the opinions of everyone, it just feels like they don't care about my happiness and what I want. I am just so exhausted of living my life for other people when I only want to live it for Allah. I want to get married for Allah and I found someone who is a believer, who will love and take care of me and make me smile, isn't that enough? My father broke my heart that night and I was sobbing in my room. My sister comforted me and supported me saying just give it time and be patient, if it's meant to be it'll be.
What breaks my heart even more is that my partner has no one to turn to. I continue to tell him this is a test from Allah and you have to turn to him, but he feels so incredibly alone and neither of us knows where to go from here.
I have started nursing school this summer and have been busy with that, he is busy with work and classes. We decided to just take a step back and focus on our careers. But we still talk every day and see each other occasionally. There have been so many nights where we talk about our situation on FaceTime and just cry together. This man has been with me through everything. We feel like we are each other's soulmate, person, and best friend. All of our dreams of marriage and building a family together have been wrecked. We made promises of walking hand and hand into Jennah together, how can I leave someone I made those promises with? He feels like home to me. I was definitely naive in the beginning, made some mistakes, and I know it's my fault for falling in love as Allah tells us not to in order to avoid this kind of heartbreak. But I really just don't know what to do. We were trying to do everything right, and it still wasn't enough.
Maybe I could quote on quote do better, but even when I look at another man or find someone else attractive, nobody is comparable to him, and the way he knows all my deepest thoughts, weird antics, and insecurities. I have never been so vulnerable and intimate with another person, how can I throw that away?
They say in Islam that true love and marriage will come easily, but what about the ease after the burden? I thought good things take patience and come with hardships? I just have so much confusion, heartache, and unclarity. I prayed Isthikara but felt as though nothing came of it. I have never had this much difficulty listening to my heart and intuition before. I am so comfortable with him, the thought of starting over with someone new I can't comprehend. And if he finds another girl, what difference does it make for his situation? His mother will still not approve of Islam as of now. He feels like both his options are poison, and he will be much more miserable without me than with.
I watched the movie Past Lives recently and that destroyed me even more. If I marry someone else, I will always wonder what if it had been him, what if it worked out for us? How can I live with those thoughts? I would rather marry him and see how it goes, attempt happiness together, then have never tried at all and abandon what we have built. I am hoping this is just the climax of the movie before our happy ending and not the end of our story.
We feel lost, but love each other so much. Where do we go from here?
2024.06.09 04:59 Low_Bumblebee_6364 Shoresy Being So Likeable
I absolutely love how to show manages to make Shoresy so likeable, when on the surface, his character could be so easily disliked. My favorite example of this is in episode 1 before we even really know Shoresy, or any of the main characters for that matter, and he knocks out the guy who was messing with Sanguinet. It's the perfect microcosm of Shoresy's love and dedication to his people. But it is so much deeper than that with the writing! Sanger is one of the most likeable and easily loved characters in the show. Hell, even Marksman Michaels loves him even though he got a squeezer from his sweetie in Wasaga Beach while Shoresy was having an aquadump! But Shoresy protecting the healthy scratch on the last place team in the NOSO demonstrates so much about his character and the depth within him. Amazing writing here by Keeso and team. Gives me goosebumps every time I watch it!
submitted by Low_Bumblebee_6364 to shoresy [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 04:57 Able-Recover3221 Hire the best in academic writing
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submitted by Able-Recover3221 to homeworkhelpNY [link] [comments]
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submitted by Able-Recover3221 to Essayprowriter [link] [comments]
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2024.06.09 04:43 Solrex [Request]Rebuilding my Sprite Kineticist from Earth/Water to Earth/water/wood (level 9 retraining) (total makeover ish)
Link to Gaia: https://pathbuilder2e.com/launch.html?build=779002
To Mods: If this post is deemed spam or too much about this particular character, who I haven't posted about for a while now, please remove and lemme know when would be appropriate to post something like this. (Ie the cooldown has expired)
Backstory: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10XmSJ1GY4aMr-C7j1pBw35Mh_cOmvQ-7TTdDnJa4_Nw/edit
Anathemas: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VtVCqTG3n2QuQ52FWAP8bADC8q69s8i5B_QmevQbM0k/edit
Alright, I'm looking to trim some fat and make this character better. I have loads of downtime points saved up and I only need 3 weeks for a full rebuild, so l want a makeover!
Rules:
Level 1 is fine, nothing wrong there.
Level 2 has stepping stones, which has never seen use. Battle medicine is for redundant healing in combat (a good thing, as each heal has it's cooldown). Druid dedication is kinda locked in, see backstory. Could be shifted around.
Level 3: Gaia is 9 and a quarter inches tall. She does not want to drown in her own mud or while burrowing. That's why this is here.
Level 4: Safe elements. I really need to remember to designate people at the start of combat. Basic wilding> Order explorer> leaf: I did this to get Goodberry, now known as Cornucopia, but not quite yet. Redundant healing(good thing). Slippery prey: to be fair, I haven't used this, so retraining it would be fine. Totally forgot I had it though. Leshy Familiar: What the heck can I have this do? Haven't touched this once.
Level 5: Evanescent Wings: Lore stuff you no touch my muddy wings. Winter sleet: This can be retrained for free, it got changed so many times. Debating whether I should keep it or not, would be a great time to retrain out of it. Expand the portal: Earth Gate Junction: might be a good place to put wood or air if we add those. Although this is one of Gaia's ways to slightly tank/battlefield control, so be careful when handling this. Depends on the build.
Level 6: Rolling Mudslide. Gaia's only true mud attack. If it is removed from here, it MUST be added back somewhere else, non-negotiable. Druid spellcasting: this gets me spells. Like mud and utility spells. Yeah. Assurance: Nature: 100% chance to heal allies outside of combat.
Level 7: Fleet. Took this cause I was lagging behind. Probably best not to remove it.
Level 8: Swim through earth: my first form of burrowing. Pairs well with Kip up. Advanced wilding>order magic: leaf order, this one actually gives it to me.
Level 9: the level Gaia is currently at. Energize wings (story feat, non-negotiable), spike skin (kinda trash, could be replaced with wood feat), impulse junction: water: let's me double push someone hit by my roiling mudslide, including around corners. Could be retrained.
Level 10: expert herbalism: I'm not sure if I'm really feeling this as much as I was when I first planned it. Would be great to replace with wood feats. However herbalist dedication would probably also need to be replaced. Alternatively I just need to buckle down and do the work to write down all those potions. Maybe replace it with another archetype since I'm unsure of this one, and with introducing wood I might be good on that. Aerobatics mastery: I want to be able to fly good when I do it.
Level 11: Blank. This might have been filled at some point, but my cookies expired and I had to find a backup on Reddit. I'm now saving to my Google Drive. This will come up more later.
Level 12: Effortless Impulse: I need to know what this is sustaining, otherwise, probably retrain it. Expert Druid spellcasting: just Druid leveling. But this gives access to higher level spells. Fresh ingredients: Maybe I do keep herbalist? I have no clue.
Level 13: Invisible trickster: this at one point was one with earth, but I found swim through earth fulfilled this role enough, and had a better speed. Expand the portal feat: Great place to pick up wood stuff or a feature we dropped earlier to take wood sooner.
14: Assume earths mantle: Maybe. Sorta conflicts with a capstone feat later though. Advanced wilding: mud lance mud lance!!! (Stone lance, plus focus points). Open skill feat.
15: open general feat. Again, this was probably filled, but it wasn't saved correctly.
16: Nourishing Gate: at this point I plan to retrain out of breath control as it is no longer necessary. Poultice prep is taken if I stay in herbalist, otherwise, room for something else. Open skill feat.
17: HERO WINGS!!!!! Wooooooo, yeah, this is the best part, story stuff etc but permanent wings woooooo! And other blank feats, maybe take air impulses here? Not sure.
18: Rebirth in living stone: I don't believe this stacks with assume earths mantle, but maybe it's okay to have both? Idk. Everything from here on is blank.
Wishes:
Wood stuff: healing, Druid stuff, what wood impulses do I take?
Herbalist: I need help with this.
Air stuff: Better flight, wings are really just for show, but also we did a level 20 one shot and flying kinda sucks tbh. Not good against a Terrasque.
Fire: Would be interesting but Gaia is definitely not a DPS.
Metal: Would be interesting but Gaia doesn't need anything here. Armor in earth is better than metal armor.
Composites: Jagged Berms: Minecraft? Especially if I get friends that also have the feat and we can build complex temp shelters.
Ambush bladderwort: could be good, at its worst it's action economy to eat enemies action economy.
Tree of duality: This is late game in this build, as it requires both air and wood, and it doesn't scale well (a d4 per 2 levels). Correct me if I am wrong.
Desert Wind: I'm not feeling it. Air is kinda late for me, and this focuses more on air than on earth. Maybe?
Rising Hurricane: 1: it's overflow. 2: it's kinda a big mess, and I mean that in more ways than one. Maybe it could be worth it?
Any other composite feats I should be aware of to consider dipping?
Anyways, would like some help with this, my next game is on June 13th, and when the next one is who knows. Kinda a reason I'm trying to make a lower level character as to get more games in. Higher levels just don't get as many games(westmarches server). But that aside, lemme know what you think my build could use. If this was a tv show, and my build is a house, I want to give it a total makeover while keeping true to it's identity.
submitted by Solrex to PF2eCharacterBuilds [link] [comments]
To Mods: If this post is deemed spam or too much about this particular character, who I haven't posted about for a while now, please remove and lemme know when would be appropriate to post something like this. (Ie the cooldown has expired)
Backstory: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10XmSJ1GY4aMr-C7j1pBw35Mh_cOmvQ-7TTdDnJa4_Nw/edit
Anathemas: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VtVCqTG3n2QuQ52FWAP8bADC8q69s8i5B_QmevQbM0k/edit
Alright, I'm looking to trim some fat and make this character better. I have loads of downtime points saved up and I only need 3 weeks for a full rebuild, so l want a makeover!
Rules:
- Don't remove roiling mudslide. It's her signature move. She is a mud fairy after all. It can be moved around to be optimized though. Plus once the official errata came out she got a huge buff from a 15 foot cone to a 30 foot one.
- Miresoul is a lineage feat, I'm like 99% sure you can't retrain that, and flavor wise I wouldn't want to. Update: With 3 weeks of downtime for a full respec I could retrain out of it, but again, it fits my characters theme and backstory VERY well.
- A note on overload impulses: I try to avoid them whenever possible as I don't like stuff shutting off, however, lemme know if it's absolutely necessary and what shuts off if I do so.
- Free archetype is allowed.
- Gaia has a huge mud theme. She has a water or earth impulse? If it can be mud, it is mud for flavor reasons. This doesn't change mechanics, but her armor in earth is a thick impenetrable clay, her winter sleet is not slippery ice but slippery mud, etc etc.
- Picture a Paladin (like 5e/WoW/this game). Now replace holy and light with nature and mud. Still a frontline tank, still goes in melee. That's Gaia's theme.
Level 1 is fine, nothing wrong there.
Level 2 has stepping stones, which has never seen use. Battle medicine is for redundant healing in combat (a good thing, as each heal has it's cooldown). Druid dedication is kinda locked in, see backstory. Could be shifted around.
Level 3: Gaia is 9 and a quarter inches tall. She does not want to drown in her own mud or while burrowing. That's why this is here.
Level 4: Safe elements. I really need to remember to designate people at the start of combat. Basic wilding> Order explorer> leaf: I did this to get Goodberry, now known as Cornucopia, but not quite yet. Redundant healing(good thing). Slippery prey: to be fair, I haven't used this, so retraining it would be fine. Totally forgot I had it though. Leshy Familiar: What the heck can I have this do? Haven't touched this once.
Level 5: Evanescent Wings: Lore stuff you no touch my muddy wings. Winter sleet: This can be retrained for free, it got changed so many times. Debating whether I should keep it or not, would be a great time to retrain out of it. Expand the portal: Earth Gate Junction: might be a good place to put wood or air if we add those. Although this is one of Gaia's ways to slightly tank/battlefield control, so be careful when handling this. Depends on the build.
Level 6: Rolling Mudslide. Gaia's only true mud attack. If it is removed from here, it MUST be added back somewhere else, non-negotiable. Druid spellcasting: this gets me spells. Like mud and utility spells. Yeah. Assurance: Nature: 100% chance to heal allies outside of combat.
Level 7: Fleet. Took this cause I was lagging behind. Probably best not to remove it.
Level 8: Swim through earth: my first form of burrowing. Pairs well with Kip up. Advanced wilding>order magic: leaf order, this one actually gives it to me.
Level 9: the level Gaia is currently at. Energize wings (story feat, non-negotiable), spike skin (kinda trash, could be replaced with wood feat), impulse junction: water: let's me double push someone hit by my roiling mudslide, including around corners. Could be retrained.
Level 10: expert herbalism: I'm not sure if I'm really feeling this as much as I was when I first planned it. Would be great to replace with wood feats. However herbalist dedication would probably also need to be replaced. Alternatively I just need to buckle down and do the work to write down all those potions. Maybe replace it with another archetype since I'm unsure of this one, and with introducing wood I might be good on that. Aerobatics mastery: I want to be able to fly good when I do it.
Level 11: Blank. This might have been filled at some point, but my cookies expired and I had to find a backup on Reddit. I'm now saving to my Google Drive. This will come up more later.
Level 12: Effortless Impulse: I need to know what this is sustaining, otherwise, probably retrain it. Expert Druid spellcasting: just Druid leveling. But this gives access to higher level spells. Fresh ingredients: Maybe I do keep herbalist? I have no clue.
Level 13: Invisible trickster: this at one point was one with earth, but I found swim through earth fulfilled this role enough, and had a better speed. Expand the portal feat: Great place to pick up wood stuff or a feature we dropped earlier to take wood sooner.
14: Assume earths mantle: Maybe. Sorta conflicts with a capstone feat later though. Advanced wilding: mud lance mud lance!!! (Stone lance, plus focus points). Open skill feat.
15: open general feat. Again, this was probably filled, but it wasn't saved correctly.
16: Nourishing Gate: at this point I plan to retrain out of breath control as it is no longer necessary. Poultice prep is taken if I stay in herbalist, otherwise, room for something else. Open skill feat.
17: HERO WINGS!!!!! Wooooooo, yeah, this is the best part, story stuff etc but permanent wings woooooo! And other blank feats, maybe take air impulses here? Not sure.
18: Rebirth in living stone: I don't believe this stacks with assume earths mantle, but maybe it's okay to have both? Idk. Everything from here on is blank.
Wishes:
Wood stuff: healing, Druid stuff, what wood impulses do I take?
Herbalist: I need help with this.
Air stuff: Better flight, wings are really just for show, but also we did a level 20 one shot and flying kinda sucks tbh. Not good against a Terrasque.
Fire: Would be interesting but Gaia is definitely not a DPS.
Metal: Would be interesting but Gaia doesn't need anything here. Armor in earth is better than metal armor.
Composites: Jagged Berms: Minecraft? Especially if I get friends that also have the feat and we can build complex temp shelters.
Ambush bladderwort: could be good, at its worst it's action economy to eat enemies action economy.
Tree of duality: This is late game in this build, as it requires both air and wood, and it doesn't scale well (a d4 per 2 levels). Correct me if I am wrong.
Desert Wind: I'm not feeling it. Air is kinda late for me, and this focuses more on air than on earth. Maybe?
Rising Hurricane: 1: it's overflow. 2: it's kinda a big mess, and I mean that in more ways than one. Maybe it could be worth it?
Any other composite feats I should be aware of to consider dipping?
Anyways, would like some help with this, my next game is on June 13th, and when the next one is who knows. Kinda a reason I'm trying to make a lower level character as to get more games in. Higher levels just don't get as many games(westmarches server). But that aside, lemme know what you think my build could use. If this was a tv show, and my build is a house, I want to give it a total makeover while keeping true to it's identity.
2024.06.09 04:40 e_nguyen 216 to 267 Step 2 - 2 month dedicated, USMD
This writeup goes out to all the people who have ever felt mediocre, average, or below average through medical school. I've struggled with imposter syndrome all through medical school and consistently scored below average on all didactic/pre-clinical exams. I was ranked 3rd quartile (probably close to 4th quartile) after M2 year. My main goal in writing this to inspire/encourage others and tell you that YOU CAN DO IT.
For context, I'm a US MD student. Studying started at the very beginning of my M3 year. I used the AnKing deck > Shelf Tags > and then made decks for each rotation out of those cards. I honored most the shelf exams except for FM, neuro, and IM. So, in retrospect, that probably did help a good amount. There was absolutely no attempt to maintain my cards after each rotation, homegirl was just trying to stay alive and there was simply no chance of it happening lol.
Dedicated started on 4/4 with my exam scheduled for 5/25. I spent 4-5 days going back through each of my anki shelf decks. I ended up skipping the entire neuro anki shelf deck, as it took me a while to get thru the IM and peds shelf decks again (these took more like 6-8 days). I took about one practice test per week during all this (listed in the order I took them)
Month 1: main focus was on Anki and knowledge
UWSA 1 216
NBME 1 220
NBME 6 can't remember (230s?)
NBME 9 241
Getting through all the anki shelf decks again took until the end of April, after which, I switched to focusing on UWorld. My Anki reviews by this time took me about 4 hours each morning (I sometimes did every other day too), after which I did about 4-5 UWorld blocks per day (this was kinda crazy lol). I also ramped things up to two practice tests per week. Second pass thru Uworld was 81% correct with 53% used. (My first pass was literally 46%, but things were a LOT better after having done Anki).
Month 2: main focus was on practice and test-taking strategies
NBME 14 can't remember (240s?)
NBME 13 can't remember (240s?)
NBME 10 can't remember (I do remember being really happy because I broke 250 here though)
UWSA 3 242
UWSA 2 257 (I read that this was the most representative, so I saved it for last)
Free 120: 88%
I switched up how I reviewed my practice tests for the last 4 exams after reading a post on here (I can't find the post rn, but someone please link if you can!) In it, person talks about how they categorized their incorrects into different categories.
Mine were:
knowledge gaps (i.e. I didn't know the right antibiotic regimen or didn't know symptoms assoc. with the disease)
missed key clues in the question stem (i.e. important risks like occupation/exposure, missed unstable vital signs, etc)
compare/contrast errors (i.e. mixing up PBC vs. PSC or CML vs CLL, etc)
After changing how I reviewed things, I made a list of test-taking strategies. My biggest problem is SKIMMING. Therefore, for every question, I started making a habit to read every question in a certain order. I start with the question/purpose of the question (is it management? diagnosis? next best step?) > then, age of patient > then, as I read, I highlight key hints/clues > and lastly, vitals (are they stable/unstable?). I have to FORCE myself to highlight these things to make sure I don't skim. Once I get through the question, I pick my answer, but then, make a conscious effort to go back through the other options and cross them out one-by-one. If there's any hesitation about my answer choice, I really stop, and try to consider other answer choices.
My last week, I did UWorld blocks for social sciences/ethics and biostats. Also listened to the "high-yield" Divine Intervention podcast episodes. Lastly, I made a burner account to get the 5-day free trial and access the Amboss quality improvement/safety articles. I would highly recommend these during the last week! I mixed in a few UWorld blocks to try and stay in the test-taking mode and took Free120 3 days before my exam. The day before my exam, I read through my document of all my NBME incorrects and then just went to get dinner and chill out.
My actual exam day went horribly. I cried during one of my breaks and teared up in front of the proctor as she was checking me in after one of my breaks. Questions felt SUPER vague and not as straightforward as during the practice exams. There were none of the "high-yield" topics I was used to seeing, I was getting really stuck between answer choices, and also really getting into my head/second-guessing myself. I ended up taking a break after every block because I was tweaking out so hard lol. I left my exam feeling defeated and like all my work over the last two months were wasted.
Cue to a few days ago when I opened up my score report and received a 267. So, as my friends reminded me, I hope to remind everyone that 80 questions during the exam are experimental. That's basically two entire blocks. So you if you find yourself spiraling during the exam like I did, just take a break, drink some water, and let yourself reset before you go back in. Every block is a new one, so just keep trying and continue trusting yourself. If you feel terrible after the exam, that's ok too (I definitely did). Post-exam day, I hope everyone can find it within themselves to feel proud of their hard work and dedication no matter what their score ends up being. Studying for this exam is so so brutal and it is such an accomplishment to even get to exam day and finish this thing.
This is a super long writeup but I hope it can be helpful to someone out there. Good luck to everyone studying! You can do it!!
submitted by e_nguyen to Step2 [link] [comments]
For context, I'm a US MD student. Studying started at the very beginning of my M3 year. I used the AnKing deck > Shelf Tags > and then made decks for each rotation out of those cards. I honored most the shelf exams except for FM, neuro, and IM. So, in retrospect, that probably did help a good amount. There was absolutely no attempt to maintain my cards after each rotation, homegirl was just trying to stay alive and there was simply no chance of it happening lol.
Dedicated started on 4/4 with my exam scheduled for 5/25. I spent 4-5 days going back through each of my anki shelf decks. I ended up skipping the entire neuro anki shelf deck, as it took me a while to get thru the IM and peds shelf decks again (these took more like 6-8 days). I took about one practice test per week during all this (listed in the order I took them)
Month 1: main focus was on Anki and knowledge
UWSA 1 216
NBME 1 220
NBME 6 can't remember (230s?)
NBME 9 241
Getting through all the anki shelf decks again took until the end of April, after which, I switched to focusing on UWorld. My Anki reviews by this time took me about 4 hours each morning (I sometimes did every other day too), after which I did about 4-5 UWorld blocks per day (this was kinda crazy lol). I also ramped things up to two practice tests per week. Second pass thru Uworld was 81% correct with 53% used. (My first pass was literally 46%, but things were a LOT better after having done Anki).
Month 2: main focus was on practice and test-taking strategies
NBME 14 can't remember (240s?)
NBME 13 can't remember (240s?)
NBME 10 can't remember (I do remember being really happy because I broke 250 here though)
UWSA 3 242
UWSA 2 257 (I read that this was the most representative, so I saved it for last)
Free 120: 88%
I switched up how I reviewed my practice tests for the last 4 exams after reading a post on here (I can't find the post rn, but someone please link if you can!) In it, person talks about how they categorized their incorrects into different categories.
Mine were:
knowledge gaps (i.e. I didn't know the right antibiotic regimen or didn't know symptoms assoc. with the disease)
missed key clues in the question stem (i.e. important risks like occupation/exposure, missed unstable vital signs, etc)
compare/contrast errors (i.e. mixing up PBC vs. PSC or CML vs CLL, etc)
After changing how I reviewed things, I made a list of test-taking strategies. My biggest problem is SKIMMING. Therefore, for every question, I started making a habit to read every question in a certain order. I start with the question/purpose of the question (is it management? diagnosis? next best step?) > then, age of patient > then, as I read, I highlight key hints/clues > and lastly, vitals (are they stable/unstable?). I have to FORCE myself to highlight these things to make sure I don't skim. Once I get through the question, I pick my answer, but then, make a conscious effort to go back through the other options and cross them out one-by-one. If there's any hesitation about my answer choice, I really stop, and try to consider other answer choices.
My last week, I did UWorld blocks for social sciences/ethics and biostats. Also listened to the "high-yield" Divine Intervention podcast episodes. Lastly, I made a burner account to get the 5-day free trial and access the Amboss quality improvement/safety articles. I would highly recommend these during the last week! I mixed in a few UWorld blocks to try and stay in the test-taking mode and took Free120 3 days before my exam. The day before my exam, I read through my document of all my NBME incorrects and then just went to get dinner and chill out.
My actual exam day went horribly. I cried during one of my breaks and teared up in front of the proctor as she was checking me in after one of my breaks. Questions felt SUPER vague and not as straightforward as during the practice exams. There were none of the "high-yield" topics I was used to seeing, I was getting really stuck between answer choices, and also really getting into my head/second-guessing myself. I ended up taking a break after every block because I was tweaking out so hard lol. I left my exam feeling defeated and like all my work over the last two months were wasted.
Cue to a few days ago when I opened up my score report and received a 267. So, as my friends reminded me, I hope to remind everyone that 80 questions during the exam are experimental. That's basically two entire blocks. So you if you find yourself spiraling during the exam like I did, just take a break, drink some water, and let yourself reset before you go back in. Every block is a new one, so just keep trying and continue trusting yourself. If you feel terrible after the exam, that's ok too (I definitely did). Post-exam day, I hope everyone can find it within themselves to feel proud of their hard work and dedication no matter what their score ends up being. Studying for this exam is so so brutal and it is such an accomplishment to even get to exam day and finish this thing.
This is a super long writeup but I hope it can be helpful to someone out there. Good luck to everyone studying! You can do it!!
2024.06.09 04:38 Able-Recover3221 Get Help from the Best
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I can deliver services such as, Urgent Essays, Research Writing, Business Research, Report Writing, PowerPoint Presentation, Legal Research, Case Study Analysis, Summary, SEO Articles, Research Proposals, dissertations etc. With a commitment to excellence, I guarantee timely work, thorough research and 100% unique content which meet all your specific needs. Whenever you need any kind of essay or research paper, I've got you covered.
Kindly contact me via Email: brilliantwright1@gmail.com or Discord: bwright504
submitted by Able-Recover3221 to u/Able-Recover3221 [link] [comments]
I can deliver services such as, Urgent Essays, Research Writing, Business Research, Report Writing, PowerPoint Presentation, Legal Research, Case Study Analysis, Summary, SEO Articles, Research Proposals, dissertations etc. With a commitment to excellence, I guarantee timely work, thorough research and 100% unique content which meet all your specific needs. Whenever you need any kind of essay or research paper, I've got you covered.
Kindly contact me via Email: brilliantwright1@gmail.com or Discord: bwright504
2024.06.09 04:35 Able-Recover3221 Hire an Experienced Writer
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submitted by Able-Recover3221 to essay_assists [link] [comments]
I can deliver services such as, Urgent Essays, Research Writing, Business Research, Report Writing, PowerPoint Presentation, Legal Research, Case Study Analysis, Summary, SEO Articles, Research Proposals, dissertations etc. With a commitment to excellence, I guarantee timely work, thorough research and 100% unique content which meet all your specific needs. Whenever you need any kind of essay or research paper, I've got you covered.
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2024.06.09 04:33 Able-Recover3221 Hire the best in academic writing
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submitted by Able-Recover3221 to AcademicHelp_net [link] [comments]
I can deliver services such as, Urgent Essays, Research Writing, Business Research, Report Writing, PowerPoint Presentation, Legal Research, Case Study Analysis, Summary, SEO Articles, Research Proposals, dissertations etc. With a commitment to excellence, I guarantee timely work, thorough research and 100% unique content which meet all your specific needs. Whenever you need any kind of essay or research paper, I've got you covered.
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2024.06.09 04:31 Able-Recover3221 Hire a Top Writer
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submitted by Able-Recover3221 to AcademicAid [link] [comments]
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2024.06.09 04:29 Icy-Establishment209 PILOT
Project Africa, Meet: Project Eurasia
… Don’t settle for one continent, when you can run the length of two… or even The Three Americas.
What’s up, you extraordinary freaks of nature:
I hear Reddit is the place to make things happen.. A small task is afoot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ultra marathoners: will no one best the King, Russ?
Or is he a generational talent?
Shock the world: surmount these odds and rewrite the rulebook. I seek to ignite this pioneering spirit once more, to help contenders achieve the unthinkable…
I offer new stakes:
Shanghai to Lisbon (Yes, it is possible)
Similar objective; entirely different story.
Diluted by our own self-imposed limits, we humans are a remarkably capable species.. We’ve been doing this for hundreds of years.
Though I consider myself to be in phenomenal condition & an extreme limit pusher— I’m in no way capable like Russ and these others to endure that run— however, that’s not why I am compelled to write my first post in 29(M) years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Russ & co. have set the bar high for the rest of the under-funded and highly “un”qualified lunatics.
They’ve shown there’s always room to redefine what’s “possible”..
At this moment I am seeking to assemble a capable and committed team to donate 8 or more months of their lives towards the task at hand. ⏳ that’s all— what else have we to do anyway?? Maintain the image we’ve spent our whole lives masquerading?
Or must we prefer to wait in line through Americas underfunded and overcrowded/ever-expansing parking lot system, inching our way towards the “American Dream” and ultimately that final day...
Which was the dream again?
Take your life back.
We intend to honor the world through impossible stories, still remaining to be experienced & uncovered: showcasing the grit, resilience, and sheer audacity of those who dare to undertake this relentless pursuit of the extraordinary—a journey that will leave us all forever changed.
Separate yourself from the crowd.
I believe us to be underestimating our opportunities and the great potential of this story: The Life changing ones, forget the instant global recognition coming on day one..
Here’s an opportunity to embrace and spread cultures,
The potential to make a difference in your life and that of others,
To transcend border.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As executive producer and logistics manager: I volunteer my leadership services and resourceful intuition/travel instinct, including the assistance of planning and organizing this expedition and routes associated. I will help assure the success, safety and effectiveness of the expedition.
Passionately-skilled as an adventurist, photojournalist & travel videographer, they tell me I have “it”. The goal isn’t monetary compensation, but instead— a global impact. The type of shit you’d do for free
Though Russ’ crew were not “professionals” by the Hollywood definition of the word, you’ll soon remember the power of a great story and a lens!
Furthermore, I’d have no hesitations documenting this expedition: offering a pivotal perspective behind the camera as well as a pen. Similarly, I’ve no objections to acting as director in such cases. I’d just prefer to focus more on the logistical side: I will recruit people better than me.
Show me the runner and I will do all I can to help turn this into reality. I’ve no choice now..
I live for the journey and its story, You can send us in a Toyota Corolla, I will accompany the runner on a bike, I don’t give a single fuck. This has to get done.
What I have:
Redbull, I don’t even like your shitty drinks— but isn’t this like exactly the opportunities you search for? You basically sell “ideas” in a liquid form.
Go pro? Where did you go?
A team makes all the difference, which is why I stress to possess the same desire, commitment and determination towards this goal- just as the “goal achiever” would.
It’s a story waiting to be told.
I will promptly, and without hesitation, quit TFOO my job and drop it all to buy a flight to Shanghai when a determined team is assembled for this. I swear on ALL mothers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proceeding forth:
Charitable causes provide the leverage. It seems to be the best course of action. (Y’all don’t understand how fuckin’ strong my wife is)
*It includes dangers beyond our preconception— tis not a death wish, but a once in a lifetime experience.
*Don't expect a cute vacation or comfort. A price to pay in order to break records and achieve the unthinkable. I for one do not wish to limit our possibilities on our search for the “impossible”.
*Burn the boats at shore, we’ve no choice but to succeed. 80% of the journey is adapting in the field, the other 20% is simply getting yourself there.
Eurasia carves its own path.
-Offering unique perspectives in new environments, with new culture, and new hurdles to overcome.
People love watching others achieve these goals; they feel they are right alongside you, similarly achieving theirs. After all, it is you who is in their pockets.
What is evident is that the opportunity of its expanse hasn’t been fully explored, recognized and realized.
(Thanks for paving the way, Russ!)
You see, Eurasia is primed to happen.. The hints began to amass since Russ’ completion of the goal just nearly a month ago.. One might infer it’s on its way to be somewhat of a trend, but at the very least: a statement.
Must we sit out again? Project Earth is upon us:
*Alexander_campbell- currently walking the world now.
*Liamtheimpaler- biking from Alaska to Argentina.
*France: entirety biked.
*Germany: In the midst of being run.
*Lambros running Australia.
*Several are traveling the width of the US; one biking Alaska to Chile, others running barefoot?
*Katherine Lowrie ran the totality of South America. Over 17,000km with her husband.
***Countless in Asia.. but no runners..
(Edit): the list keeps expanding..
Perhaps this is an opportunity to compete for the finish line involving two or more teams? Fuck it, bring in the sport of competition for the great world race.
Dream big.
This your call to action
Understand the TREMENDOUS amount of work put into planning and ensuring the arrival of the goal— the athlete will also have to be physically prepared as well as mentally. But when the right pieces of the puzzle are brought together, we could do this ASAP.
May this message not fall on deaf ears — Our dreams remain as dreams until first action is taken. There’s no limit to our possibilities as a species. Let’s step into that world.
because i think that’s the whole point of this..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this thread… offer your schemes, comments or productive critique:
If you aspire for something extraordinary and think you’re up for this task, come forth and tell us why you make a good fit. Hell, if you would even like to help fund or sponsor, I won’t stop you. Make your voice known.
Project_Eurasia is on Instagram, you can tell me I’m delusional there.
Let’s make it happen.
No "influencers".
No sellouts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This message unto the realm of universal possibility. Awaiting to unfold and materialize as it will
and all it takes is a single moment to change everything.
. . . -Andy
submitted by Icy-Establishment209 to ProjectEurasia [link] [comments]
… Don’t settle for one continent, when you can run the length of two… or even The Three Americas.
What’s up, you extraordinary freaks of nature:
I hear Reddit is the place to make things happen.. A small task is afoot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ultra marathoners: will no one best the King, Russ?
Or is he a generational talent?
- Russ Cook opens the international “eye” of human capability?✔️
- Runs all of Africa like a Tuesday fkn morning?✔️
Shock the world: surmount these odds and rewrite the rulebook. I seek to ignite this pioneering spirit once more, to help contenders achieve the unthinkable…
I offer new stakes:
Shanghai to Lisbon (Yes, it is possible)
- 20-23 countries, 16,000km
Similar objective; entirely different story.
- Indeed it is the same distance to run the width from Asia to Europe.
- Yes, I understand it’s not ‘furthest east’, if it were, you’d probably die— I’m up for it— However, nobody has done our proposed distance yet.. Let's start there.
- Geographically speaking point to point is only 8,191km, almost exactly Africa’s 8,061km
- And wouldn’t you fkn know it, Shanghai is 861.2377km (535 miles) DUE south of Cabo’s true east along the latitudinal line, as in exactly in line with Shanghai as its furthest east point! These numbers are starting to come together..
- Europe’s entirety will be crossed.. Cabo Da Roca was made to look like a finish line anyway..
Diluted by our own self-imposed limits, we humans are a remarkably capable species.. We’ve been doing this for hundreds of years.
Though I consider myself to be in phenomenal condition & an extreme limit pusher— I’m in no way capable like Russ and these others to endure that run— however, that’s not why I am compelled to write my first post in 29(M) years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Russ & co. have set the bar high for the rest of the under-funded and highly “un”qualified lunatics.
They’ve shown there’s always room to redefine what’s “possible”..
At this moment I am seeking to assemble a capable and committed team to donate 8 or more months of their lives towards the task at hand. ⏳ that’s all— what else have we to do anyway?? Maintain the image we’ve spent our whole lives masquerading?
Or must we prefer to wait in line through Americas underfunded and overcrowded/ever-expansing parking lot system, inching our way towards the “American Dream” and ultimately that final day...
Which was the dream again?
Take your life back.
We intend to honor the world through impossible stories, still remaining to be experienced & uncovered: showcasing the grit, resilience, and sheer audacity of those who dare to undertake this relentless pursuit of the extraordinary—a journey that will leave us all forever changed.
Separate yourself from the crowd.
I believe us to be underestimating our opportunities and the great potential of this story: The Life changing ones, forget the instant global recognition coming on day one..
Here’s an opportunity to embrace and spread cultures,
The potential to make a difference in your life and that of others,
To transcend border.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As executive producer and logistics manager: I volunteer my leadership services and resourceful intuition/travel instinct, including the assistance of planning and organizing this expedition and routes associated. I will help assure the success, safety and effectiveness of the expedition.
Passionately-skilled as an adventurist, photojournalist & travel videographer, they tell me I have “it”. The goal isn’t monetary compensation, but instead— a global impact. The type of shit you’d do for free
Though Russ’ crew were not “professionals” by the Hollywood definition of the word, you’ll soon remember the power of a great story and a lens!
Furthermore, I’d have no hesitations documenting this expedition: offering a pivotal perspective behind the camera as well as a pen. Similarly, I’ve no objections to acting as director in such cases. I’d just prefer to focus more on the logistical side: I will recruit people better than me.
Show me the runner and I will do all I can to help turn this into reality. I’ve no choice now..
I live for the journey and its story, You can send us in a Toyota Corolla, I will accompany the runner on a bike, I don’t give a single fuck. This has to get done.
What I have:
- All the above necessary qualifications
- Like you, A life worth living.
- Mavic 3 pro Drone (yessir!)
- Newest iPhone & iPad Pro
- Go pro
- Potential funding opportunities
- Like-minded people equally as daring and motivated
- A confident runner that is experienced and knowledgeable
- A Vehicle (inconspicuous please)
- Additional talented film crew
Redbull, I don’t even like your shitty drinks— but isn’t this like exactly the opportunities you search for? You basically sell “ideas” in a liquid form.
Go pro? Where did you go?
A team makes all the difference, which is why I stress to possess the same desire, commitment and determination towards this goal- just as the “goal achiever” would.
It’s a story waiting to be told.
I will promptly, and without hesitation, quit TFOO my job and drop it all to buy a flight to Shanghai when a determined team is assembled for this. I swear on ALL mothers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proceeding forth:
Charitable causes provide the leverage. It seems to be the best course of action. (Y’all don’t understand how fuckin’ strong my wife is)
*It includes dangers beyond our preconception— tis not a death wish, but a once in a lifetime experience.
*Don't expect a cute vacation or comfort. A price to pay in order to break records and achieve the unthinkable. I for one do not wish to limit our possibilities on our search for the “impossible”.
*Burn the boats at shore, we’ve no choice but to succeed. 80% of the journey is adapting in the field, the other 20% is simply getting yourself there.
Eurasia carves its own path.
-Offering unique perspectives in new environments, with new culture, and new hurdles to overcome.
People love watching others achieve these goals; they feel they are right alongside you, similarly achieving theirs. After all, it is you who is in their pockets.
- “Day one of….” -Shut up, I am already completely invested.
What is evident is that the opportunity of its expanse hasn’t been fully explored, recognized and realized.
(Thanks for paving the way, Russ!)
You see, Eurasia is primed to happen.. The hints began to amass since Russ’ completion of the goal just nearly a month ago.. One might infer it’s on its way to be somewhat of a trend, but at the very least: a statement.
Must we sit out again? Project Earth is upon us:
*Alexander_campbell- currently walking the world now.
*Liamtheimpaler- biking from Alaska to Argentina.
*France: entirety biked.
*Germany: In the midst of being run.
*Lambros running Australia.
*Several are traveling the width of the US; one biking Alaska to Chile, others running barefoot?
*Katherine Lowrie ran the totality of South America. Over 17,000km with her husband.
***Countless in Asia.. but no runners..
(Edit): the list keeps expanding..
Perhaps this is an opportunity to compete for the finish line involving two or more teams? Fuck it, bring in the sport of competition for the great world race.
Dream big.
This your call to action
Understand the TREMENDOUS amount of work put into planning and ensuring the arrival of the goal— the athlete will also have to be physically prepared as well as mentally. But when the right pieces of the puzzle are brought together, we could do this ASAP.
May this message not fall on deaf ears — Our dreams remain as dreams until first action is taken. There’s no limit to our possibilities as a species. Let’s step into that world.
because i think that’s the whole point of this..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this thread… offer your schemes, comments or productive critique:
If you aspire for something extraordinary and think you’re up for this task, come forth and tell us why you make a good fit. Hell, if you would even like to help fund or sponsor, I won’t stop you. Make your voice known.
Project_Eurasia is on Instagram, you can tell me I’m delusional there.
Let’s make it happen.
No "influencers".
No sellouts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This message unto the realm of universal possibility. Awaiting to unfold and materialize as it will
and all it takes is a single moment to change everything.
. . . -Andy
2024.06.09 04:15 reddevils72 Looking for recommendations
Hi all,
Going on a trip next week and looking for some horror recommendations. Currently halfway through Off Season by Jack Ketchum, but should be done before I leave. Really enjoying it so far.
Recently finished The Ruins and LOVED IT. Could not put it down. Probably my favorite read in years. Some other notable recent favorites are Nick Cutter’s The Troop, The Deep and Little Heaven.
On the flip side, recently read The Haunting of Hill House, respected the writing and style but wasn’t really my vibe.
Hopefully that gives you a rough idea of the style I prefer, but open to any and all recs!
Thanks!
Edit: also very open to EH recs, but understand there’s a dedicated sub for that content too.
submitted by reddevils72 to horrorlit [link] [comments]
Going on a trip next week and looking for some horror recommendations. Currently halfway through Off Season by Jack Ketchum, but should be done before I leave. Really enjoying it so far.
Recently finished The Ruins and LOVED IT. Could not put it down. Probably my favorite read in years. Some other notable recent favorites are Nick Cutter’s The Troop, The Deep and Little Heaven.
On the flip side, recently read The Haunting of Hill House, respected the writing and style but wasn’t really my vibe.
Hopefully that gives you a rough idea of the style I prefer, but open to any and all recs!
Thanks!
Edit: also very open to EH recs, but understand there’s a dedicated sub for that content too.
2024.06.09 04:13 G0ldenBat [A4A] beginner rp request!
Greetings, dear reader! Are you endlessly busy and don’t have time to commit long-term to roleplay? Are you in dire need of a quick fix of a wholesome and classic “will they, won’t they” scenario? Perhaps you’ve had a hankering for some light and comedic unlikely friends on an adventure? Maybe even something else entirely! Well, you’re in luck!
I offer you:
• Flexibility (woohoo!) • Genre range (Fantasy—yes even low, high, dark, etc., Sci-fi, Historical—medieval, feudal, non Eurocentric, western, etc., Royalty, Adventure, and much more!)
• A dedicated role play partner that will give their best for each response. Taking into account their partners needs and wants and adjusting accordingly. A partner that is open to communication and eager to learn.
• An extremely inexperienced role player who just downloaded Reddit because they thought “hey, I heard that was a good place to get into role play!” only to open the app and find another world—-one so mind bogglingly complicated those like myself would find their smooth user-friendly social platform addled brain rendered useless in a matter of moments as they repeatedly find themselves banned from not one, not two, not three—but FOUR subreddits in a manner of 48 hours for no offense other than being a fool who assumed reading the rules was like akin to reading the terms of service, a general non issue if skipped. How arrogant one must be to assume such a thing—how foolish. A lout in the making, to be sure. But I digress, word count sticklers and ignored rules be damned—I’m still here! And if you have read this far, I apologize. My inane ramblings are much too fun to write out.
I must be transparent, I am extremely new to role play. I have dabbled in bottom of the barrel amino chats in the past, written stories with friends and held one too many conversations with myself but I fear that hardly counts for anything as I navigate this site. I am open to new things and new experiences. I am constantly busy but I know when to prioritize when I have to. If you are interested in role play, world building, OC chats, etc. my door is open.
This may just be the most cluttered ad I’ve ever seen. Again, if you have read this far you have my sincerest gratitude.
submitted by G0ldenBat to u/G0ldenBat [link] [comments]
I offer you:
• Flexibility (woohoo!) • Genre range (Fantasy—yes even low, high, dark, etc., Sci-fi, Historical—medieval, feudal, non Eurocentric, western, etc., Royalty, Adventure, and much more!)
• A dedicated role play partner that will give their best for each response. Taking into account their partners needs and wants and adjusting accordingly. A partner that is open to communication and eager to learn.
• An extremely inexperienced role player who just downloaded Reddit because they thought “hey, I heard that was a good place to get into role play!” only to open the app and find another world—-one so mind bogglingly complicated those like myself would find their smooth user-friendly social platform addled brain rendered useless in a matter of moments as they repeatedly find themselves banned from not one, not two, not three—but FOUR subreddits in a manner of 48 hours for no offense other than being a fool who assumed reading the rules was like akin to reading the terms of service, a general non issue if skipped. How arrogant one must be to assume such a thing—how foolish. A lout in the making, to be sure. But I digress, word count sticklers and ignored rules be damned—I’m still here! And if you have read this far, I apologize. My inane ramblings are much too fun to write out.
I must be transparent, I am extremely new to role play. I have dabbled in bottom of the barrel amino chats in the past, written stories with friends and held one too many conversations with myself but I fear that hardly counts for anything as I navigate this site. I am open to new things and new experiences. I am constantly busy but I know when to prioritize when I have to. If you are interested in role play, world building, OC chats, etc. my door is open.
This may just be the most cluttered ad I’ve ever seen. Again, if you have read this far you have my sincerest gratitude.
2024.06.09 03:55 sailor_poop Which character would have the best smelling farts?
Hello, I am a student at Harvard University. I'm currently majoring in science and research, as part of my thesis, I'm writing a paper on which character in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure would have the most pleasant aroma to their farts. Thoughts?
submitted by sailor_poop to DiamondIsUnjerkable [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 03:53 superupsetabout KS v. HS - Alabama (2004) & (2009)
(1/2):
K.S., the mother of a minor child, appeals from an order of the Autauga County Juvenile Court granting the child's paternal grandmother, H.S., visitation rights.
On June 12, 2002, the paternal grandmother filed a petition for custody in the Chilton County Juvenile Court, alleging that the child was dependent. The case was subsequently transferred to Autauga County, where the child and the mother reside. The child's father, J.R., filed a motion for a hearing, alleging that he had been denied visitation. On August 5, 2002, the father and the paternal grandparents absconded with the child during visitation at a Taco Bell fast-food restaurant and refused to return him to the mother. The same day, the mother filed an emergency motion seeking to return the child to her custody, and the trial court ordered that temporary custody be granted to the mother. On October 8, 2002, the parties reached an agreement whereby the mother would have custody of the child and the father would have visitation rights.
On December 4, 2002, the father filed an emergency motion for temporary custody, alleging abuse of the child by the mother. On December 5, 2002, an order was issued granting the father temporary custody of the child. On December 17, 2002, an order was entered allowing the mother and the father to exchange custody of the child on a weekly basis until the court ordered otherwise. On January 1, 2003, the father was killed in an automobile accident.
On January 7, 2003, the mother filed a motion to dismiss both the father's and the paternal grandmother's petitions. On February 13, the paternal grandmother filed a motion to establish visitation, pursuant to § 30-3-4.1, Ala.Code 1975. On April 9, 2003, the trial court held a hearing. According to the mother, the trial court found that the paternal grandmother should be granted visitation, but it did not set out specific dates or times for such visitation. However, no transcript from that hearing was included in the record. On April 23, 2003, the paternal grandmother filed a motion for contempt and requested an emergency hearing. The mother's counsel then withdrew, and the mother subsequently obtained new counsel. On May 5, 2003, the trial court entered the following order:
Although there is a transcript of the hearing held on August 20, 2003, there was no sworn testimony taken at that hearing. No other transcript from any of the other hearings was included in the record. It is clear from the August 20, 2003, hearing that the trial court had already determined that the paternal grandmother was entitled to visitation and that the discussion at the hearing was related to the terms of her visitation. The trial court's final order, entered on August 26, 2003, states "having heard testimony," and over the objection of the mother, visitation is awarded to the grandmother.
As both parties recognize in their briefs, the trial court's judgment was rendered upon ore tenus testimony. Because no transcript of that testimony or authorized substitute therefor is contained in the record, we must conclude that the trial court's judgment was supported by the ore tenus testimony.
"When oral testimony is considered by the trial court in reaching its judgment and that testimony is not present in the record as either a transcript or Rule 10(d), [Ala.] R. [App.] P., statement, it must be conclusively presumed that the testimony [was] sufficient to support the judgment." [citation] Because we cannot discern from the record whether the trial court erred in granting grandparent visitation, we must affirm the judgment of the trial court.
AFFIRMED.
. . .
CRAWLEY, Judge, dissenting,
I am of the opinion that § 30-3-4.1, Ala.Code 1975, "is per se, or facially, unconstitutional." Accordingly, I do not share the opinion that the ore tenus evidence that was presented to the trial court may have been sufficient to grant the paternal grandmother visitation rights. For that reason, I respectfully dissent.
MURDOCK, Judge, dissenting.
The child at issue in this case is only three years old. The trial court's judgment removes this very young child from the home of his mother for a period of three months every summer, making, for a child this age, what amounts to a change of "custody" every three to nine months. It is difficult for me to imagine any set of facts that would justify the frequent changes of custody and the inherently disruptive effects that will result from the trial court's judgment. Our law firmly embraces the premise, which I believe is especially applicable to young children, that frequent disruptions in the custody of children should be avoided.
. . .
The majority opinion notes that the record contains no transcript from the April 9, 2003, hearing and therefore posits that we must assume that the evidence presented at that hearing supports the trial court's final judgment dated August 26, 2003. Based upon the trial court's May 5, 2003, order, however, it does not appear to me that any evidence was presented at the April 9, 2003, hearing. The trial court's May 5 order begins as follows:
. . .
[Mother] argues that "[i]t is unclear whether the trial court in the instant case concluded that there would be substantial harm to the child if grandparent visitation were denied."
. . .
The mother's argument is well taken; it is at best unclear whether the trial court applied the standard required by the writings of this court in L.B.S. From my reading of the record and the various orders entered by the trial court, it does not appear that the trial court applied anything other than a "best interest" standard. Furthermore, a statement made by the paternal grandmother at the August 20, 2003, hearing is consistent with the notion that the trial court decided the visitation issue based merely upon what it considered would be in the child's best interest:
I would reverse the trial court's judgment and remand this cause for the entry of an order by the trial court clearly applying the "substantial harm" standard.
KS v. HS (2004)
(2/2) (same family, 5 years later):
K.S. ("the mother") appeals from the judgment of the Autauga Juvenile Court awarding custody of A.W.R. ("the child") to the child's paternal grandparents, H.S. and G.S. For the reasons discussed below, we conclude that the juvenile court did not have subject-matter jurisdiction over this action; thus, the order from which the mother appeals is void, and we must dismiss the appeal.
. . .
The instant action was initiated on December 6, 2004, when the child's paternal grandmother, H.S. ("the grandmother"), filed an emergency petition in the juvenile court seeking "temporary custody" of the child, who was living with the mother. No other issue concerning the child was pending before the juvenile court. The juvenile court granted the grandmother's petition the same day, awarding "temporary custody" to the grandmother. Subsequently, disputes arose between the mother and the grandmother regarding visitation and the mother's telephone contact with the child. The parties were unable to resolve those disputes themselves, and they sought to have the juvenile court resolve those disputes over the course of the next two years, while the juvenile court's final determination on the grandmother's petition was pending. The final hearing on that petition was not held until the spring of 2007. There is no explanation offered by the parties or in the record as to why there was a delay of more than two years between the entry of the December 6, 2004, order granting the grandmother "temporary custody" and the final hearing on the matter, which was held in February and March 2007. We note that, after the hearing, another year passed before the juvenile court entered its final judgment in this case. In July 2007, while the juvenile court's decision on the issue of custody was pending, the mother filed a motion to regain custody of the child, who had been in the grandmother's custody since the entry of the juvenile court's December 2004 order awarding the grandmother "temporary custody." In her motion, the mother claimed that the grandmother was refusing to allow her to have visitation with the child or to allow the child to see his half brothers. Again, there is no indication in the record or in the parties' briefs on appeal as to why the mother did not seek to regain custody of the child for more than two years. On March 4, 2008, the juvenile court entered a final judgment awarding custody of the child to the paternal grandparents. It is from that judgment that the mother appeals, arguing that the juvenile court erred in awarding custody to the grandmother without finding that the mother was unfit.
. . .
As mentioned above, at the time the grandmother filed her petition in this case, the child was not "otherwise before the court." In her 2004 petition seeking "temporary custody" of the child, the grandmother did not allege that the child was dependent. Without providing specific examples or grounds, the grandmother asserted that the mother was "unfit to care for the minor child in that she does not have the parenting skills, maturity nor the financial ability" to care for him, but she did not provide any specific instances of how the mother was unfit to care for the child. The grandmother also acknowledged in the petition that she had not seen or had any communication with the child in the two years before she filed the 2004 petition. She also alleged that she was worried about the strain the child was under because of the mother's frequent moves and because the child was "being withheld" from the grandmother. The majority of the allegations set forth in the 2004 petition concerned the grandmother's assertion that the mother was depriving her of visitation rights established in an earlier proceeding. For example, the grandmother alleged that the mother had "taken great pleasure in depriving the minor child from any contact" with the grandmother and had "viciously taunted and tortured" the grandmother by letting other individuals know that the child had visited Autauga County without the mother informing the grandmother of those visits.
. . .
At its heart, the grandmother's 2004 petition in this case was based on a dispute between the mother and the grandmother over visitation. From a complete reading of the petition filed in 2004, it is clear that the grandmother's purpose in seeking custody was not out of a fear that the child was being abused or in any way mistreated. Indeed, she alleged that she had not seen the child in the two years before she filed the 2004 petition. Her purpose in filing the petition was to gain custody of the child, at least temporarily, because she was being deprived of visitation. Because the 2004 petition could not properly be treated as a dependency petition, we cannot hold that the juvenile court had jurisdiction on the basis that the child was before that court on a dependency petition.
. . .
Because the juvenile court did not have subject-matter jurisdiction and the child was not "otherwise before the court" when the juvenile court considered the grandmother's 2004 petition, the circuit court was the only court with jurisdiction to determine the issue of custody raised in the grandmother's 2004 petition. Accordingly, the juvenile court's order of March 4, 2008, purporting to award custody of the child to the grandmother is void. A void judgment will not support an appeal.
. . .
For the reasons set forth above, the juvenile court did not have jurisdiction to grant the grandmother's 2004 petition seeking custody of the child. Therefore, that judgment is void and will not support an appeal. Accordingly, this appeal is dismissed and the juvenile court is instructed to vacate its order of March 4, 2008.
APPEAL DISMISSED WITH INSTRUCTIONS.
KS v. HS (2009)
submitted by superupsetabout to grandparentvisitation [link] [comments]
K.S., the mother of a minor child, appeals from an order of the Autauga County Juvenile Court granting the child's paternal grandmother, H.S., visitation rights.
On June 12, 2002, the paternal grandmother filed a petition for custody in the Chilton County Juvenile Court, alleging that the child was dependent. The case was subsequently transferred to Autauga County, where the child and the mother reside. The child's father, J.R., filed a motion for a hearing, alleging that he had been denied visitation. On August 5, 2002, the father and the paternal grandparents absconded with the child during visitation at a Taco Bell fast-food restaurant and refused to return him to the mother. The same day, the mother filed an emergency motion seeking to return the child to her custody, and the trial court ordered that temporary custody be granted to the mother. On October 8, 2002, the parties reached an agreement whereby the mother would have custody of the child and the father would have visitation rights.
On December 4, 2002, the father filed an emergency motion for temporary custody, alleging abuse of the child by the mother. On December 5, 2002, an order was issued granting the father temporary custody of the child. On December 17, 2002, an order was entered allowing the mother and the father to exchange custody of the child on a weekly basis until the court ordered otherwise. On January 1, 2003, the father was killed in an automobile accident.
On January 7, 2003, the mother filed a motion to dismiss both the father's and the paternal grandmother's petitions. On February 13, the paternal grandmother filed a motion to establish visitation, pursuant to § 30-3-4.1, Ala.Code 1975. On April 9, 2003, the trial court held a hearing. According to the mother, the trial court found that the paternal grandmother should be granted visitation, but it did not set out specific dates or times for such visitation. However, no transcript from that hearing was included in the record. On April 23, 2003, the paternal grandmother filed a motion for contempt and requested an emergency hearing. The mother's counsel then withdrew, and the mother subsequently obtained new counsel. On May 5, 2003, the trial court entered the following order:
"This matter coming before the Court the 9th day of April, 2003 for hearing on the Petition for Custody, Motion for Visitation and Motion to Dismiss; the Paternal Grandmother, her attorney of record, the Biological Mother, her attorney of record; and the Guardian Ad Litem, all being present: This Honorable Court finds that it would be in the best interest of the minor child to be temporarily placed in the physical custody of the Biological Mother, until such time as this Court can hear the evidence and determine permanent physical custody and visitation.On August 20, 2003, the trial court held a hearing on the mother's motion to dismiss and on the paternal grandmother's motion for visitation. At the hearing, the paternal grandmother withdrew her petition for custody. On August 26, 2003, the trial court entered an order granting the paternal grandmother extensive visitation. The mother appeals[.]
"It is further Ordered, Adjudged and Decreed as follows:
"1. The Paternal Grandmother, shall have visitation with the minor child each Saturday from 8:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. of every weekend until further Order of the Court of if the parties agree this can be swapped to Sunday of each weekend.
"2. The Paternal Grandmother, shall be responsible for picking up the minor child for said visitation and the Biological Mother shall be responsible for ... picking up the minor child at the end of said visitation.
"3. The parties may agree upon any additional visitation and the location of said additional visitation between themselves."
Although there is a transcript of the hearing held on August 20, 2003, there was no sworn testimony taken at that hearing. No other transcript from any of the other hearings was included in the record. It is clear from the August 20, 2003, hearing that the trial court had already determined that the paternal grandmother was entitled to visitation and that the discussion at the hearing was related to the terms of her visitation. The trial court's final order, entered on August 26, 2003, states "having heard testimony," and over the objection of the mother, visitation is awarded to the grandmother.
As both parties recognize in their briefs, the trial court's judgment was rendered upon ore tenus testimony. Because no transcript of that testimony or authorized substitute therefor is contained in the record, we must conclude that the trial court's judgment was supported by the ore tenus testimony.
"When oral testimony is considered by the trial court in reaching its judgment and that testimony is not present in the record as either a transcript or Rule 10(d), [Ala.] R. [App.] P., statement, it must be conclusively presumed that the testimony [was] sufficient to support the judgment." [citation] Because we cannot discern from the record whether the trial court erred in granting grandparent visitation, we must affirm the judgment of the trial court.
AFFIRMED.
. . .
CRAWLEY, Judge, dissenting,
I am of the opinion that § 30-3-4.1, Ala.Code 1975, "is per se, or facially, unconstitutional." Accordingly, I do not share the opinion that the ore tenus evidence that was presented to the trial court may have been sufficient to grant the paternal grandmother visitation rights. For that reason, I respectfully dissent.
MURDOCK, Judge, dissenting.
The child at issue in this case is only three years old. The trial court's judgment removes this very young child from the home of his mother for a period of three months every summer, making, for a child this age, what amounts to a change of "custody" every three to nine months. It is difficult for me to imagine any set of facts that would justify the frequent changes of custody and the inherently disruptive effects that will result from the trial court's judgment. Our law firmly embraces the premise, which I believe is especially applicable to young children, that frequent disruptions in the custody of children should be avoided.
. . .
The majority opinion notes that the record contains no transcript from the April 9, 2003, hearing and therefore posits that we must assume that the evidence presented at that hearing supports the trial court's final judgment dated August 26, 2003. Based upon the trial court's May 5, 2003, order, however, it does not appear to me that any evidence was presented at the April 9, 2003, hearing. The trial court's May 5 order begins as follows:
"This matter coming before the Court the 9th day of April, 2003 for hearing on the Petition for Custody, Motion for Visitation and Motion to Dismiss; the Paternal Grandmother, and her attorney of record, the Biological Mother, her attorney of Record, and the Guardian Ad Litem, all being present: This Honorable Court finds that it would be in the best interest of the minor child to be temporarily placed in the physical custody of the Biological Mother until such time as this Court can hear the evidence and determine permanent physical custody and visitation.(Emphasis added; identifying names omitted.) Therefore, insofar as the duration and timing of the court-ordered visitation by the grandmother, I cannot agree that we have no alternative but to affirm that aspect of the trial court's judgment, and I would not do so.
"It is further Ordered, Adjudged and Decreed as follows:
"1. The Paternal Grandmother shall have visitation with the minor child each Saturday from 8:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. of every weekend until further Order of the Court or if the parties agree this can be swapped to Sunday of each weekend."
. . .
[Mother] argues that "[i]t is unclear whether the trial court in the instant case concluded that there would be substantial harm to the child if grandparent visitation were denied."
. . .
The mother's argument is well taken; it is at best unclear whether the trial court applied the standard required by the writings of this court in L.B.S. From my reading of the record and the various orders entered by the trial court, it does not appear that the trial court applied anything other than a "best interest" standard. Furthermore, a statement made by the paternal grandmother at the August 20, 2003, hearing is consistent with the notion that the trial court decided the visitation issue based merely upon what it considered would be in the child's best interest:
"THE GRANDMOTHER: Yes, sir. I'm just worried about the welfare of my grandson.(Emphasis added.) Accordingly, I conclude that the doubt raised by the record as to whether the trial court applied the correct legal standard in making its determination to award visitation to the paternal grandmother also warrants reversal of the trial court's judgment.
"THE COURT: Right.
"THE GRANDMOTHER: Right now, I don't think it's in the best interest of my grandbaby.
"I don't want to hurt her [the mother]. I don't want to put her down. She's a good kid. I don't want to take her child away from her. She's his mother.
"But I don't want him taken out of my life either. If I can't see him but, you know, two or three days every four or five months, let me be the one that hurts, not him. Because I got to see him after about four and a half months, he didn't remember me. He cried. It tore my heart out. I don't want to hurt him like that."
I would reverse the trial court's judgment and remand this cause for the entry of an order by the trial court clearly applying the "substantial harm" standard.
KS v. HS (2004)
(2/2) (same family, 5 years later):
K.S. ("the mother") appeals from the judgment of the Autauga Juvenile Court awarding custody of A.W.R. ("the child") to the child's paternal grandparents, H.S. and G.S. For the reasons discussed below, we conclude that the juvenile court did not have subject-matter jurisdiction over this action; thus, the order from which the mother appeals is void, and we must dismiss the appeal.
. . .
The instant action was initiated on December 6, 2004, when the child's paternal grandmother, H.S. ("the grandmother"), filed an emergency petition in the juvenile court seeking "temporary custody" of the child, who was living with the mother. No other issue concerning the child was pending before the juvenile court. The juvenile court granted the grandmother's petition the same day, awarding "temporary custody" to the grandmother. Subsequently, disputes arose between the mother and the grandmother regarding visitation and the mother's telephone contact with the child. The parties were unable to resolve those disputes themselves, and they sought to have the juvenile court resolve those disputes over the course of the next two years, while the juvenile court's final determination on the grandmother's petition was pending. The final hearing on that petition was not held until the spring of 2007. There is no explanation offered by the parties or in the record as to why there was a delay of more than two years between the entry of the December 6, 2004, order granting the grandmother "temporary custody" and the final hearing on the matter, which was held in February and March 2007. We note that, after the hearing, another year passed before the juvenile court entered its final judgment in this case. In July 2007, while the juvenile court's decision on the issue of custody was pending, the mother filed a motion to regain custody of the child, who had been in the grandmother's custody since the entry of the juvenile court's December 2004 order awarding the grandmother "temporary custody." In her motion, the mother claimed that the grandmother was refusing to allow her to have visitation with the child or to allow the child to see his half brothers. Again, there is no indication in the record or in the parties' briefs on appeal as to why the mother did not seek to regain custody of the child for more than two years. On March 4, 2008, the juvenile court entered a final judgment awarding custody of the child to the paternal grandparents. It is from that judgment that the mother appeals, arguing that the juvenile court erred in awarding custody to the grandmother without finding that the mother was unfit.
. . .
As mentioned above, at the time the grandmother filed her petition in this case, the child was not "otherwise before the court." In her 2004 petition seeking "temporary custody" of the child, the grandmother did not allege that the child was dependent. Without providing specific examples or grounds, the grandmother asserted that the mother was "unfit to care for the minor child in that she does not have the parenting skills, maturity nor the financial ability" to care for him, but she did not provide any specific instances of how the mother was unfit to care for the child. The grandmother also acknowledged in the petition that she had not seen or had any communication with the child in the two years before she filed the 2004 petition. She also alleged that she was worried about the strain the child was under because of the mother's frequent moves and because the child was "being withheld" from the grandmother. The majority of the allegations set forth in the 2004 petition concerned the grandmother's assertion that the mother was depriving her of visitation rights established in an earlier proceeding. For example, the grandmother alleged that the mother had "taken great pleasure in depriving the minor child from any contact" with the grandmother and had "viciously taunted and tortured" the grandmother by letting other individuals know that the child had visited Autauga County without the mother informing the grandmother of those visits.
. . .
At its heart, the grandmother's 2004 petition in this case was based on a dispute between the mother and the grandmother over visitation. From a complete reading of the petition filed in 2004, it is clear that the grandmother's purpose in seeking custody was not out of a fear that the child was being abused or in any way mistreated. Indeed, she alleged that she had not seen the child in the two years before she filed the 2004 petition. Her purpose in filing the petition was to gain custody of the child, at least temporarily, because she was being deprived of visitation. Because the 2004 petition could not properly be treated as a dependency petition, we cannot hold that the juvenile court had jurisdiction on the basis that the child was before that court on a dependency petition.
. . .
Because the juvenile court did not have subject-matter jurisdiction and the child was not "otherwise before the court" when the juvenile court considered the grandmother's 2004 petition, the circuit court was the only court with jurisdiction to determine the issue of custody raised in the grandmother's 2004 petition. Accordingly, the juvenile court's order of March 4, 2008, purporting to award custody of the child to the grandmother is void. A void judgment will not support an appeal.
. . .
For the reasons set forth above, the juvenile court did not have jurisdiction to grant the grandmother's 2004 petition seeking custody of the child. Therefore, that judgment is void and will not support an appeal. Accordingly, this appeal is dismissed and the juvenile court is instructed to vacate its order of March 4, 2008.
APPEAL DISMISSED WITH INSTRUCTIONS.
KS v. HS (2009)