Texts my boyfriend sends me

I (21M) and my ex-girlfriend (22F) were in a 1-year LDR relationship and broke up a couple of months ago due to my constant lying, selfishness, controlling behaviour and general lack of empathy towards her, to name a few of many other reasons. I feel terrible remorse for everything I put her through and for letting her down, and I wish I hadn't stepped into a relationship while having so many things to work on myself. She has a special place in my heart that no one else can ever fill, and I have no doubt in my mind that she was the right person, but at the wrong time. In one of the last messages from her to me about the break-up, amongst closure, she said that she does not want me in her life right now and does not advise me to reach out to her for reconciliation before I make serious progress on my issues. We've been in contact a handful of times since that, but she's sometimes taken days to reply and it's been nothing related to the break-up or possibility of reconciliation.
Since the break-up, I've started going to the gym, eating healthy, going to CBT therapy, and I start and end most of my days with meditating and journalling. I've used this time to reflect, but most importantly, to understand. To understand why I did the things I did, how my actions have affected her, and how to do better than that. My daily thought cycle is something like that: thoughts associated with regret and remorse emphasize the belief that reconciliation may be out of reach due to everything I did and it'd be better to just let it all go. Then hope and desire to do better, on the other hand, keeps me going and motivates me. Fear just magnifies the sense of loss and me continuing to hold on to her so strongly while she's understandably better off without me. The depth of all these emotions is unlike anything i’ve experienced before.
In my notes, I've written her a very lengthy apology letter. It's not me asking for a conversation or for her to forgive me, the only motive behind this letter is to apologize and take accountability for everything. And every day I fight against the urge of sending that letter to her, as I'm afraid it'd intrude her space and healing process. Recently she deleted all of the shared photo albums and playlists we had, which hurt a lot, but also further affirmed the "out of sight, out of mind" and that she'd perhaps be better off without my letter. In July we'll both be attending a music festival and will be seeing each other there for the first time after the break-up.
I really don't know how to approach this situation. Like I said, I'm still holding on to her so strongly - I see her in my dreams almost every night, not once have I taken off her necklace, and I keep thinking about no one but her. I also feel like I owe her a longer apology, either in person or through text. At the same time, I want to give her the space she has asked for and believe it should up to her to initiate any conversations about reconciliation, because the last thing I want to do is to initiate a scenario that she doesn't want anymore. And it feels impossible for me to be able to tell whether or not I've made the necessary progress for reconciliation, as in therapy it's framed as this lifelong process with ups and downs.
Apologies if it's a lot of rambling, but tl;dr would be a) should I reach out to her to apologise or not, and b) if and how should I approach anything related to reconciliation? Please feel free to share any similar stories or struggles and thank you for taking your time to read it.

hi! figured i’d give this a try. in simple terms, i’m looking for connection. someone i can talk to day to day, learn everything about, share interests and fears and hobbies with, and someone who gets me excited to hear my phone buzz.
a little about me: i’m a 24 y/o college girl in Ohio. physically, i’m willing to send pictures cause it’s much easier than sitting here and trying to describe my features. hopefully you’re willing to share pictures as well.
i spend most of my time working or in class, but in my free time i love to binge tv shows or watch movies, try new foods, go on hikes, spend time outdoors, paint, and i’m 420 friendly so that’s my go-to when i wanna just sit back and relax.
preferably i would like to talk to a guy around my age or older as that’s what i’m most interested in romantically, but i’m bisexual so don’t be turned off if you’re a woman! my goal here is to just try my luck and see what’s out there, and hopefully something fun can come of it :)
if anything i’ve written in this wall of text interests you, please send me a message telling me your name, age, location, and a picture of yourself! i like to see who i’m talking to.

So I have a friend. We been friends since I was 17. But for years she’s hidden things from me. When she first became my friend I did not know she made friends with me to keep close tabs on me because I was a friend of her boyfriend. Through the years we grown close. Then one day her depression got to her. She called me at my college during my mid term. I had to go home and call the paramedics. By then her dad was there. As we got to the hospital we were sitting around while my friend was getting assessed. I was accused of saying it was okay and money was rightfully hers and she forged a check of her dad’s. The truth was she called me every 30 min, she was off her medication and I was her scape goat again for everything. I cried when I was accused of this because I felt betrayed by my friend. There was another time when I was trying to get a group of friends together for her birthday she copped out and said she can’t go. She cheated on her current boyfriend with one of the guys I invited and I had no idea until the fall out. The guy did make a pass at me and I declined him. Later he told me what a horrible friend I was saying I talked about her all night (like I have better things to do). She believed him over me. It hung over my head for awhile. Later she moved out of her house and bails on her boyfriend and moved to another state to be with another guy who abused her. Before she left I gave her safety things she should check on and she didn’t. She was there for 5 years and they broke up. Fast forward today. She got a restraining order against him and she was contemplating going by his house to see if he lived in Washington still. She said certain individuals can take her (including one was the guy she is seeing now who she cheated on that one with before she left). I said if she is an RO why! Then she proceeded to send me a big recording of things that are wrong with me that I take things personally and so forth and too sensitive and so forth when all I thought I was doing was looking after someone I thought was my friend. What is this? What do you think?

I 21 (F) would say my mother is a… well real character lol. Just for some context, she had me at 21 while she was still in college and had some freaky deaky time with my biological father and boom! I was created. So to say the least I was a “oops” as she would put it. And would tell me she wasn’t ready to be a mother. I was eventually born and everything went downhill from there. According to my step dad (who took me in and raised me as his own), she was very stand offish with me growing up. Never really bonded with me like a mother should. For context my step dad came into my life when my mom and him met when I was 5. I asked him how he felt that way and he would go into telling that she would be very mean and for example, she was changing my diaper (I wasn’t potty trained till 5 years old and step dad did it all) and she got so mad that I went in my diaper she threw me on the couch. Hearing this was hard to hear but I kind of pushed it to the back of my skull and pretended it wasn’t true. Just to cut this story short a lot of things happened for the span of my life regarding this woman. She blamed me for bad things that happened to me in my childhood, cheated on my step dad multiple times, hid bills around our family home causing MONSTEROUS amount of debt she left behind for my step dad to handle (He’s currently talking to the IRS to see what he can do about it all), faked colon cancer which was the cancer one of my childhood friends had passed away from and would take out her hair extensions and say “this was the chemo at work”, and many other things that I could go into detail with if you guys want but it is A LOT. She eventually told me, my two sister F(10) and F(7) at the time, and my step dad that she needed us out of the house for the night because she needed to think about what to do (my step dad had found out she had a sugar daddy and only found out because he looked at her phone while she was in surgery). My step dad didn’t even want to argue so he took me and my sisters to my grandma’s house for the night and we slept there. Eventually my mom came to us girls and told us she would be back in a few days. We said our tearful goodbyes but I knew what she had done to my stepdad (only because my grandparents who also raised me told me the truth of what happened) and she was out the door. She ended up staying at her sugar daddy’s house but he ended up breaking up with her and she became homeless. She eventually moved into an apartment 30 minutes away from us that she couldn’t afford because she was jumping from job to job. She would come visit us girls every so often, maybe a couple weekends a month but I started respecting her less and less. She eventually was forced to evict from that apartment and was living in her car according to her but we soon found out she actually asked the family who moved in after her, a family with 2 young children, if she could stay there and for some god d*mn reason they agreed. This was around the time where she stopped talking to me almost completely and I would text, try and make conversation and it would be brief and I would wait months for her to try and pick up conversation. Like a simple I love you would’ve been amazing but it never came.
Now this bit of info happened very recently, around Mother’s Day in fact.
At this point, I still love her but I have some issues that I’ve had to attend therapy to somewhat get over. She would pick up my sisters and bring them to these situations and I’ve told my step dad to file for full custody and put her on child support but he tells me he can’t bring himself to let his daughters grow up without a mother and he’s overworked as it is trying to provide as a single dad and doesn’t have time or money to seek out a lawyer. My birth giver would also be very mean to my step dad over text and say “you can’t control” my life” when he would just be trying to find out the address of where she lives since she’s always moving around. My step dad did confined in me recently that he found out my mom had a new sugar daddy because he uses life 360 to keep track of my sisters just in case something were to happen and they were at a random house about 40 minutes away the opposite direction than her place. This confuses and alarms my dad and he texts her. She reads the text but doesn’t answer. He ends up asking my oldest sister where she was this weekend with mom. She tells him they went to this house they’ve been going to for A FEW MONTHS! And said mom has a friend that kisses her sometimes. This infuriates my dad and texts her a long message about how upset he is and how he doesn’t care if she dates just let him know where his daughters would be, and she responds with “stop butting into my life this is none of your business”. I don’t mind that my step dad tells me these things because I want to be there for him but god if I could just slug this woman to mars!
On Mother’s Day, i was going out to breakfast with my boyfriends family when I get a call from my step dad. I excuse myself and pick up the phone. My step dad is sobbing and tells me he doesn’t know what to do. I asked him to take a deep breathe and what’s wrong. He tells me that he tried to ask if mom could start paying some money to support the girls because he needs help recently and she said she doesn’t have any money to provide but pulls up in a BRAND NEW MERCEDES when she picks the girls up. I was flabbergasted to say the least and I told him he should get into contact with a lawyer to put her on child support because this is ridiculous. I talk to him for a bit, we say our goodbyes and hang up. I’m steaming with rage and pick up my phone to text my mom and the message doesn’t go through, to find out later she got a new number and never told anybody.
Recently I get a call from a random number and I stupidly pick up the phone thinking it’s important. NOPE. Just that witch of a woman. She tells me how much she’s missed me and how she can’t wait to see me soon. I just tell her I don’t want to see her. She asks why and I reply by saying she hasn’t made ANY effort in our relationship since I graduated high school and why should I even surround myself with a cheater like her. She’s silent and states that I don’t make an effort either and that she’s had a tough life and I should understand that. I tell her to stop with the bs victim mentality and to call when she wants to own up to her sh*t. I hung up and left it at that
And for more context, my grandparents were amazing with her. They loved her dearly and helped her with anything she needed so if your wondering how she ended up this way, it’s not them. They stepped up and raised me when my mom couldn’t or wouldn’t and she refuses to talk to them and only come to them for money.
So that’s about it right now I’ll send any updates if you guys are interested but I mostly want to see how Charlotte reacts to this lol I love her videos!
Ta ta for now!

My boyfriend forwarded a personal text intended only for him, to his sibling and possibly his parent when he was seeking advice and showed it to his friend as well.
We had come close to breaking up and I had explained and aired my grievances I’ve been feeling in our relationship. It was a huge text with a lot of discussion involving my feelings, issues with his behavior, etc but it also had very deeply personal information in it, I talked about my struggle with sexual stuff because of being assaulted in childhood, I talked about our sex life & how I was feeling used because he cums so quickly and never tried to make me finish, etc.
He sent that onward to his sibling, showed a friend and maybe even sent it to his parent because he wanted advice. He told me this after the fact and at the time I was okay with it because I wrongly assumed he had edited out the deeply personal bits but he did not.
And now I don’t know what to do. I feel a little violated knowing these people all know my business now without me ever having the intention to tell them.
Also, they all told him they think we should end the relationship because of my insecurities and the way I was handling my CPTSD (with drinking when it came to both issues)& it kind of sucks to know they all gently advised that leaving me to work on myself might be for the best. (I’ve since stopped coping in unhealthy ways btw and not because of their feedback but by reaching my own realization and choosing to heal)
I feel embarrassed, ashamed, I feel my privacy was violated. I had never told anyone before about my past and now all these people are aware. AIO

I was always wondering why he didn't respond to my calls/text yesterday. Today I send a lot of call and text messages because I was soo worried about him. I love him soo much I was soo scared something might happen to him. He texted me that he wanted to be alone because something bad happened from his home, and told me to f*ck off. I felt soo stupid and guilty of not giving him personnel space. If only I wished I knew that something was wrong, maybe I could've comfort him. He may be in such pain right now. Thinking about him makes me soo worried. I didn't text time or interact with him after that because I want to respect his privacy. Now I feel sol stupid and ignorant. I was soo needy/clingy that I became soo selfish.

We just got back from a really amazing trip together. I proposed we meet on Wednesday, which she agreed, I then yesterday asked if she wanted to meet today. She said she still preferred Wednesday without mentioning the plans she had tonight.
I really had no suspicions about anything mind you. I was just asking questions after work today and she reluctantly revealed she was going to an art event tonight with her house mates. After sending that message she hasn’t read or answered my 2 messages saying that sounded like a good time. Her response was not characteristic to our texting habits. It was a single response, no follow ups.
I re-downloaded hinge and noticed her account as stil present in my match list - still available to message.
It should be noted there is some awkwardness about me being invited to events with her - which she has addressed, but does not really seem to be in her control as she is invited by others who don’t know me. Not sure if this is related but I figured might be a reason for the secret but still.
Obviously my concern is cheating. But I am aware sometimes a situation is set up to make it look worse than it is.
Looking for some advice in navigating this as this is my first major relationship.

DL guy here. I’m 20 years old. I grew up in a family that acts accepting, but is deeply judgmental and I never came out. Their judgement rubbed off on me and I had tons of internalized homophobia over the years. In middle school I was made fun of constantly and rumors were spread about me being gay, so it only added to my desire to suppress myself. I lost good friends all because of the chance I might be gay. I got a good taste of how hateful the world is.
I tried having sex with a few women over the years and that NEVER went well. I couldn’t get it up at all. I knew that I was denying myself. I’ve recently had the courage to go on Grindr and I got a lot of taps from really attractive guys that texted me and that made me feel validated af, but I never have the courage to actually meet up.
We get to the point where we send photos, we’re both super into each other, a meetup is suggested, then I delete my account out of fear. How do I get past this? Anyone who has had this kind of experience, how’d you get past the initial fear? I know damn well I won’t have an issue getting it up for another man, i’m just worried of the actual act of it. It’s like finally stepping past that barrier I created for myself and to meet up with a guy is to truly accept who I am, which i’m still struggling with.

Disclaim: English is not my first language so don’t come for me if I make some grammatical errors
A little bit of context I’m one year above my friend group. It all started with me and my friend group going on a school trip, my friend (Ashley) was having a thing with this guy (Gabe) so during the trip we all spent time with him and his friends, one day during the trip I looked at one of his friends (Zach) and thought to myself he was kinda cute, I told it to my friend and Ashley immediately stepped out telling me that Gabe had told her that Zach was interested in me, i didn’t really know what to do, but my friends told me to go for it, I gotta say that I’m a bit shy in this situations, so Ashley tried to help me, she tried to find out his interests and she tried organizing hangouts with our friend group and Zachs friends, she told me she started texting him, she told she wanted to become more friends with him so things wouldn’t feel forced. It got a bit weird with Gabe because things with Ashley didn’t work out but at the end I organized a hangout were we all went to the club and then got to my house so the next morning we would all go to school together , i had fun at the club I got closer to Zach we danced together and in general we all had fun, I started to feel a bit weird about Ashely because she was always close to him but I didn’t pay much attention cause she’s really out going and friendly, when it was time to go the group kinda separated and then got back together I saw that Zach had Ashley lipstick draw over his face, I was kinda suspicious but my friends and Ashley told me it was not what it looked like and Ashley was just joking around with him, when we got to my place to sleep I had 2 beds prepared and mine in my room, we didn’t have time to really sleep because it was late,Ashley and Zach were in the same small bed she was sleeping and he was sitting in it , we talked for an hour and then we all went to school, the day passed and when it was time to go we all said by and Zach hugged me and he send me a kiss; some weeks passed and I really wasn’t thinking about Zach because I was studying for my finals, at the same time me friends were still going out, one day right after I finished one of my finals I received a call from my friend group, Ashley wanted to talk to me so we went on private and she told me that the night before she and Zach had kissed, she told me she started to like him the night we all went out, and then things appended, I really didn’t want to say anything in the moment because I was tired but then I told her that I didn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore, she knew how much I liked him, the lest she could have done was telling me about her feelings since it had been a month form the hangout but instead she went behind my back and she got with him , she tried to apologize but she wasn’t really sorry, she send me I really long message “apologizing” but I didn’t respond for a week I was ready to respond and talk more calmly but then one of my friend told me that she was already in a relationship with him, that made me explode, I told that I knew she was already serious with him and it really showed that she wasn’t serious about the apology; Since then my friend group has been divide because they understand why I’m mad but they think I overreacted a bit , and now it’s been a year and they now all think that I’m dramatic for not wanting to fix things with her and the friend group is broken because of this, I was “forced” to go out with her for birthdays of our friends but I still haven’t spoken a word to her; Me and my friend have been planning a summer vacation all together for over a year and 2 months ago my friends told me that she was gonna come, I was already aware she was gonna come because it’s their graduation vacation, but the thing that really but me off is that they decided that Zach is gonna come too, I decided I was not going for my and everyone else pace, they were a bit disappointed but they accepted it; the final straw that really made almost lose it was that one of my friends “Piper” organization her birthday and invited zach and she told me when I was already there, it was the most awkward situation ever, they were hugging and kissing all the time like they were alone , i really wasn’t comfortable in this situation and it looked like my friends were ignoring me a bit, I feel like this all situation is making me and my friend group to distance ourselves. I really need some perspective on this because I don’t know what to do.

Hi everyone so some background I F (30) and my Mother F (67) have not spoken for 15 months now. We have had a strained relationship for many years, as she doesn’t agree with many of my ‘life choices’. For example, as a child and teenager my Mother put all her energy into me becoming an actor. I’m talking hours of rehearsal until I cried, restricting my weight, as well as multiple lessons and masterclasses weekly. All extra curricular had to be drama or performing themed e.g. choir or joining the school shows and I was part of a pretty good drama school junior weekend school. I was pretty good and earned scholarships and lots of awards whilst performing. However, it came with a lot of restrictions. I couldn’t hang out with my friends or even do homework without her telling me to ‘stop wasting my time’, I was only good at one thing. Whenever I disobeyed she would be very cruel and let me know I’d never amount to anything. My parents divorced shortly after I turned 18. Quite simply, I think my Father had enough. The bullying and manipulation also extended to him and she would frequently tell him how ‘worthless’ and ‘ugly’ he was but that it was ok because he had her. At 19 I got into a pretty good university to study Drama at with a scholarship. Immediately upon arriving I knew it was a mistake. I hated the city, the course and at times the people and I sunk into a deep depression. At the end of first year I asked for a years break, which was granted and I moved in with my boyfriend who was studying in a different city. I never went back to study Drama and moved into education instead, which I cared deeply about and enjoyed both the training and the job. My Mother to this day has never ‘forgiven’ me for this. In my mid twenties I broke up with my boyfriend who had been cheating on me. My mother offered very little advice and support, telling me that I would not do better. I then very quickly became involved in an intense and abusive relationship. When I left came home to her afterwards bleeding, bruised and crying she ignored me and went on holiday with her boyfriend as she ‘didn’t have time to deal with my nonsense.’ She continued to tell me it was my fault for years after. I maintained a relationship with my mother over the next few years but every visit and communication would end up with her would end in an argument and we spoke less frequently. I tried to set boundaries and told her how much it hurt for her to speak so negatively about me and my life choices, but she would tell me she only had my best interests at heart. I have also gone low contact with her but she will just incessantly contact me. When I came out to her as dating a woman at 26 she lost her temper and screamed down the phone that what I was doing was horrible, selfish and how dare I post anything on social media, as her friends might see! Afterwards, I sobbed and didn’t hear from her for weeks. I was also very reluctant to tell the rest of the family about my relationship but I am happy to report that everyone was incredibly supportive and loving. When she did ring me up again, it was to try and convince me that my girlfriend was clearly having an affair with her male housemate. No, I’m not joking.
During the next two years, she frequently blew hot and cold with me, but would frequently pick arguments over small things or remind me ‘what a shame’ that I had ‘wasted’ my talent. She also frequently brought my younger brother J into arguments. J would berate me for not being ‘kind’ to our mother and would frequently tell me how awful I am by abandoning them. I always tried to speak to him compassionately as I understood he was just parroting back our mothers vile bullshit. For example, after a small argument when my partner and I were due to go and visit her, she sent me multiple messages telling me that I was not welcome and that she didn’t want to see me. I then cancelled the train tickets and went to see other family members instead. My Mother was livid and repeatedly told me how ‘no one could believe how heartless you are.’ Then, over Christmas two years ago my Mother made a comment to me about my brother. Apparently I was not supportive enough and she hung up before texting me to say that she ‘gets no support from me and we should just call our relationship quits for now.’ I messaged back telling her that was how you break up with someone as a teenager, not how you should talk to your own child. In January J started to relentlessly send me messages about the awful person I am and how I deserve to be alone, but that him and our mother will always love me. When I responded to see if he was ok, he accused me of being a bully and being kicked out of university due to bullying a fellow student. To this day, I still have no idea what he’s talking about. I did initially leave university due to my depression getting so bad I just wasn’t meeting deadlines, but returned two years later to do my final year. I spoke to my Mother who doubled down that she apparently had a letter from the university about my ‘bullying’. When I told her this simply wasn’t true she accused me of lying and told me to seek professional help. I then decided to go no contact with her. Since then she has sent me cards for every occasion, which are full of guilt tripping and several bizarre emails blaming me all kinds of things, including just existing and making her life ‘fraught and difficult’ or being ‘just like your father.’ As well as her being ‘stuck’ in a relationship with her boyfriend. Any relationship I have with the rest of my family she takes offence at, as apparently I need tell her.
Honestly, this just scratches the surface of the many many insane and hurtful things that have happened. AITA?

Long story short, I have this one friend who’s been acting a bit weird. Whenever I send good news about my life to our group chat she sometimes ignores me completely and keeps sending other texts like I didn’t send anything earlier. I’ve also noticed that she most likely muted me on Instagram - I have an account for one of my pets and she always sees what I post to that account, but never what I post to my own account.
I don’t know what to say to her. This is making me very wary of sharing good news with her, and I feel like I should say something before it eats at me (which it already is); but I don’t know how to address the issue without compromising our relationship.

I broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and almost 3 months. After all this time his family didn’t know about me and he did not want to meet my family. I was exhausted of begging for him to initiate a phone call once in a while. It was always me calling first and him not answering. Me waiting for him to eventually call me back hours later or get a text the next morning saying ‘I fell asleep at 7pm’. I had a major issue with his Instagram following and I brought it up back in February. Nothing changed, I cried about it to him and by myself. He finally began to unfollow some of these of/insta models until I noticed he was following an account that was just created in May 2024. He previously insisted that he followed these pages before me and was not actively following new pages. I tried to confront him about it and explain how I felt, but instead he blocked me. I hit my breaking point and sent the text (not ideal, I know). After over a year of dating he still didn’t know when my birthday was while I tried to make his birthday as special as I could. I had to ask myself if I could continue this for years to come and the answer is simply no. I might have gone the wrong way about it but I just have to get this experience off of my chest. It hurts.

I (20F) have been dating my BF (20M) for a bit over a year. In April, he asked me to meet his friend group (4 people, all 20M) and I thought everything had gone fine - I had a decent-ish time and as long as my BF is fond of them, their underdeveloped humour was none of my business. On Sunday I randomly remembered this outing and realised I hadn’t asked my BF what his friends had thought of me, so I asked.
He said “Oh why did you have to ask that” and I thought it meant to be witty, so I encouraged him to tell me and that I wouldn’t be upset. Well, I was definitely mistaken.
In short, apparently his ‘friends’ began calling him gay after they met me, because I am too ‘masculine’, and insisted that I was secretly a transsexual hooker. As well, they ‘jokingly’ constantly ask my BF to send a photo of me naked to confirm I did not have a penis and implicitly that he isn’t gay. And until he sends the said confirmation, his friends will keep calling him gay and spread rumours that I am a male prostitute to any mutual acquaintances we might have.
The respect I had for my BF and the choices he made dropped significantly after this. I questioned why he would consent to this sort of humiliation, and he defended it saying it’s a joke and it’s not mean-spirited. I asked for more information, and he showed me texts: of his friends taking guesses about my ‘penis’ size and calling my BF homophobic slurs. He didn’t defend me once.
That didn’t seem like a joke to me at all, so I told my BF that I’m not willing to stay together with someone with such little self-respect.
I don’t care about 4 nothings fantasising about me being a man because of their fear of a woman being taller than them, but the fact that my BF is putting up with this ridicule, of the both of us, is just pathetic. I told him I felt disrespected by his lack of action toward the behaviour of his friends and that I don’t wish to be a joke. Therefore, he had to choose between me and his friends, because apparently we cannot coexist.
He proceeded to call me ‘selfish’, ‘controlling’ and said I was trying to isolate him from anyone who isn’t me and that I couldn’t possibly understand how male friendships work. I told him to text me when he makes his pick. This was on Sunday - and he only texted me this morning. A long, long paragraph telling me he doesn’t want to give me up, that he wants to keep his friends, and that if I love him I will understand he can’t choose. He promised to get his friends stop mocking me.
I haven’t texted back yet. While writing this I’m realising how silly this is for people in their 20s. I’m pretty confident I haven’t overreacted, but maybe I have, so an objective opinion would be appreciated.

Long story short, I have this one friend who’s been acting a bit weird. Whenever I send good news about my life to our group chat she sometimes ignores me completely and keeps sending other texts like I didn’t send anything earlier. I’ve also noticed that she most likely muted me on Instagram - I have an account for one of my pets and she always sees what I post to that account, but never what I post to my own account.
I don’t know what to say to her. This is making me very wary of sharing good news with her, and I feel like I should say something before it eats at me (which it already is); but I don’t know how to address the issue without compromising our relationship.

(This was originally posted on the BPD subreddit. This post centers around my disorder. If you are not familiar with this condition please do not say anything that may seem hurtful without proper research and understanding. Thank you.)
I sincerely apologize for this post being overbearing, pitiful, and anything similar. I'm currently in the middle of a breakdown while writing this so it may be a bit over the top. Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors, it's a bit hard to type through tears.
I am looking for any support and/or advice that can be offered. Mostly I wish to be heard and understood.
Now for the post:
For a bit of background I have trauma due to past relationships, and extreme abandonment issues. I tend to overthink. I'm also very depressed. Pretty much anything that could be wrong with me is wrong with me.
I have been dating my boyfriend for over two years. Let's call him Jay. He is my favorite person. Both of us have expressed thinking that he may be a narcissist. He is very avoidant. Barely texts me. Leaves me on seen for hours. Can literally go days without texting me if I do not text first.
On my birthday, valentines, anniversaries, or any other holiday I do not get gifts from him. No cards. No flowers. Nothing.
8 months into the relationship he lied to me about doing hard drugs. He told me he knows how it'd make me uncomfortable and he promised me he'd quit because he loved me and would never do that to me. 8 months later I find out from one of his friends he never quit. Upon confronting him he repeatedly assured me he quit and "I would never do that to you, baby." Then finally broke once I told him I knew. He called me an "entitled Beach" and that if I actually cared about him I would've supported his drug use. Later, he told me he only lied because he didn't want me to leave. He said he lied so I wouldn't get mad. I'm more mad at the lie than the drugs. I should've left him then. But I didn't. And somehow stayed with him.
Two years later, he still never quit the drugs, and surprisingly, I find out he started using another hardcore drug. One that he swore he'd never do and would shit talk how dumb people were for doing that specific drug. So I confronted him about it. He made a big scene of thinking real hard about the last time he's ever even been around someone doing that. Literally sat there and lied to my face. Again. I broke down. I sobbed. Ugly sobbed. I couldn't believe that he did it again. Once more he "lied because I didn't want you to get mad and leave me." I'm mad because he lied. But. He is my favorite person. I'm trauma bonded. I have no life outside of him. So yes, pathetically, I stayed.
Now usually we have a bit of redemption period before the arguments cycle again. We didn't get that this time. This past month has been constant arguments. I brought up how I didn't appreciate him calling me "Dawg" in front of his friends since other couples usually don't speak that way to eachother and have nice pet names. He got pissed and blew up and said "well I'm sorry I'm so fucking embarrassing."
Next argument, which just happened and is still in the middle of: he texted me that he missed me. I replied asking if he'd like to plan a date night tonight. He left me on seen. About 30 minutes later I sent another message asking if he could respond so I'd know if I had to get ready or not. A couple minutes go by and it pops up as "seen" but still I never get a response. I finally say "how are you going to say you miss me then ignore me when I attempt to spend time with you." He replies "because I'm fucking busy bruh, all I said was that I missed you, I in no way indicated that I was free today." I told him that's all he needed to say. It would've taken two seconds to say "not today" and there was no way he was that busy that he couldn't spare a couple of seconds. This is a reoccuring situation where he never replies or leaves me on seen because he's "busy." I've asked if he's lost interest in me. He denies it. I ask if he's cheating on me. He denies it. When I bring that up he always freaks out and says "oh ffs not this again"
He also treats his mother like shit.
I will not sit here and act like I'm perfect. I am not. But when he gets angry he goes for low blows and pokes at my insecurities and mental issues. He blames everything on me and complains about how I'm always wanting to text. I want to talk to him because I love him. And that's so hard to be told to "fuck off" when I just want to spend time with him.
I know I overreact. He said I act like he just ran me over, twice, with a car. And honestly. I would prefer that because this hurts a hell of a lot more. My whole world has burned to the ground. Today he told me "I genuinely don't fucking care anymore. You've finally got me to that point." And my heart shattered. I feel like a shell.
I genuinely feel like I'm in the wrong. The shit he says to me is all about how everything I do is wrong. Everything was so good at the start of the relationship. He makes me feel like I'm nothing. But I'm so attached. I can't leave. God I need help. He told me I ruined this relationship. I failed as a partner. I know in a few hours I'll be madly in love with him again. But right now I hate him.
Tl;dr My boyfriend thinks I constantly overreact and my BPD has ruined our relationship. He blames for everything and I cannot express any of my feelings to him without facing his anger.

Context: Last month (April 12th 2024) I quit my job at Dominos Pizza. A lot goes into why, feeling like I was treated unfairly compared to others was a main issue. Also Lots of stuff were happening in my personal life that affected my ability go to and show up to work. I know I could of been better on communication but like 2 major things happening in my personal life that caused me not to show up to a shift was I was being actively a potential human trafficking victim and being kicked out of my parents home. My last shift, totally on me but I under estimated how long a hair appointment I was at was going to take, I asked my boss if I could come in later and she said yes. But by the time my appointment had ended my phone was dead and I was stuck a long ways away from being able to get to work (I don’t drive by the way so I had no way communicate anyone for a ride) my plan was to go to my boyfriends house to 1. Get my work uniform 2. Charge my phone so that I could go up to work and just stay way later than scheduled. But once my phone turned back on at my boyfriends house I got angry texts from my boss about me not showing up and she found out that I was with my boyfriend (I think she thought I was ditching work for him and the only way she found out is because one of my close friends/coworkers had my location) and then I just sent her a text about don’t worry about putting me on future schedules (aka I quit)
Something I found a little weird and suspicious is that, that was the same day checks came so normally I would have my check there. Found out maybe a week after, it wasn’t sitting at the store. But then 2 weeks later for the actual last check of mine was. I got that check from a coworker who picked it up and dropped it off for me. But I would really like this other one because it has about $580 on it. My coworker has attempted to retrieve it and my former boss (who know btw had been promoted to district manager) seems to be holding it and not letting them give it to me. I assume it’s literally just sitting in her office. I had a previous job before after I quit they just mailed it to me but it’s been over a month and hasn’t been mailed in.
Some of you might just say well just contact your old boss, I would but I feel so uncomfortable talking to her even over just text and I would like to seek out an alternative way to get it. So how do I get my check?

This happened about 3 years ago but sometimes I think about it and if I was in the right or wrong. I just need clarity from others that aren’t close to me. So this all happened when I at the time (17F) was in my junior year of highschool, I was in marching band due to my closest friend I’ll call Layla (16 F) at the time wanting me to try it out since she thought I would enjoy it as much as her. I was hesitant since the band director I knew was not known for being very kind but since they were getting a new director I thought why not and joined in my sophomore year but at that time we were all online for the band classes due to Covid. I did really end up enjoy learning to play music with a lot of great people and was excited because later in the year we would be able to practice in person. And I will say I had a crush on this new band director he was young (24M) and we’ll call him Sal. It was nothing more than a simple crush at the time because I found him cute. Now the more the band practices the closer I got with everyone and with this new director we’re becoming great and doing parades/new music. Everyone is excited at how the marching band program has became much more lively since he’s become director. Now I still very much like him as I go into my junior year and I try to be more talkative with him since I’m usually a more reserved quiet person. Maybe it came off flirty but I’m like 16 turning 17 not really expecting anything from a Teachedirector but it happens. I make a joke one day saying he owes me boba one day since I called out of work for a band football game. And he suggests since I’m going up to the area he lives around he’ll treat me then. One thing I forgot to mention he gave out his personal number out to all the students in band we had a groupchat. So on the day of I was texting him talking about how I was going to eat first and he hinted that he could join me so I wouldn’t be lonely. And of course me having a crush on him I said yes. After we eat and get boba he invites me over to his house again I say yes because I like him. At first we just went to his and watched yt videos and then he started playing with my hair and eventually I fell asleep because it was becoming late. He woke me up inviting me to sleep in his bed. I never thought this could happen and I took the opportunity and said yes. He slept next to me and the next morning kissed me and other things. I very naive and having a hard time at home at the time was overjoyed. Now I did worry about the band if this got out and his career but thought everything would be fine if we kept it a secret. Now usually I tell Layla everything because she was my person but I knew she would disapprove of this relationship (rightfully so) and so I told her nothing. So the relationship with me and him lasts for maybe two months and then we get caught. He gets reported to the reported to the school board and I am terrified that my name will be in rumors/gossip. I am someone who has always struggled with anxiety and suicidal thoughts so I was wanting to keep the truth hidden as possible. So when people in the band starting asking what happened when I was called to the office and why he was shortly after asked to leave the school grounds I lied. I said he had been helping me with extra practice and just giving me advice that the school was looking into because they thought it was something more. I also lied because me being naive at the time didn’t realize I was being groomed and so I wanted to protect him. Now there were news articles on him and the school for having relations with a student which we knew he had talked to and went out with a student that had recently graduated but it’s turns out they had a prior relationship that I hadn’t known about that in the end his teaching license was taken because of but I never told them about our relationship out of fear of being the target of rumors. Which unfortunately there were rumors there was another student he was messing with but their hadn’t been a name yet. Which is the way I wanted to keep it. I eventually told Layla the truth since she was the person I trusted the most and at first she took it well but eventually we grew distant. One day she sends me a text saying she doesn’t wanna be friends anymore and saying I should’ve never gotten into a relationship with him saying so many people loved the band program now just to see it end like that was saddening. Apparently the other girl wasn’t going to come forward about her past relationship with him but she was one that caught us and decided to come forward due to fear for me. Saying I indirectly caused the destruction of the band and lost the trust of her and other for not being truthful. Letting them defend him all this time when I knew the truth. Am I the asshole for not being truthful with everyone?Sorry if this post is all over the place this my first Reddit post. If you need any extra info or clarification feel free to ask in the comments.

My friend and I have had these concert tickets for almost a year. They’re about $350 each at face value and to make up for my mistake, I asked my friend if we could please go to the first show the night before and I would make up the difference and figure out how to sell and buy new tickets. She immediately refused and started to call me a bad friend saying that I am choosing my boyfriend over her and that this will probably be an ongoing pattern in the future of our friendship. Mind you, my boyfriend of almost a year hasn’t even met her because she constantly cancels plans with us. She also never has anything nice to say when I speak of him or what we have going on. I always chose to ignore my boyfriend’s comments that he doesn’t think she is very fond of him but I think he was right.
After refusing that first option, I told her, “well then you can just have my ticket and take one of your sisters or something.” I also kept apologizing for the situation but she didn’t care or take the ticket. I bought both of our tickets last year and she paid me back later. So she tells me to Venmo her the original amount and then adds in, “and you can also Venmo me whatever extra cash you make off of it when you sell it.” I can’t believe she says that but I say okay and just send her the original amount. I feel I did my best in trying to offer the best solutions while staying true to myself in what I think was the best decision with the conflict of events. A wedding happens once (hopefully) and there are tons of other options for this concert. Oh, by the way, I freaking love the artist performing. Tickets were not easy to get and it’s been almost a year of anticipation so needless to say, it was a hard decision even if it doesn’t seem like it has been for me on this post. On top of that, Ticketmaster is so annoying that the artist has chosen to not allow resales until 3 days before.
So whatever, I accepted my losses when it came to the money but not the friendship. I just can’t believe she chose those words and she even said “hope he is worth losing a friend.” That is so dramatic that I almost laughed when she said it. I don’t do friendships with that kind of drama. She has expressed unhappiness in her love life and hasn’t been in a relationship in years. I never mean for her to feel bad about those things but I also would like the friends in my life to be supportive and happy for me. I love him, we recently moved in together, and he wants me to meet his best friends that live across the country. We want to build a life together.
I am going to give her some time to cool off. I haven’t told my boyfriend because his response might be a little biased and even though I know he would be supportive of the way I handled this, I don’t want to further confirm his suspicions about her in case we do make up. Ugh. But also, friends aren’t always life long and I truly believe there are people in your life for seasons and reasons. We had a great friendship, I thought… but maybe that was just a season. Any advice you guys? AITAH?

I have an attorney but apparently getting ahold of her is impossible & my kids are supposed to go to their fathers on Thursday so I need advice, anything.
TL;DR - My alcoholic ex, who is on probation for drunken charges, was drunk around our kids and possibly drinking and driving. I want to know how to protect my children.
My kids dad is currently on probation for a DUI and drunken assault charge, obviously he is not supposed to be drinking and I never suspected he drank around the kids. This past Thursday, my ex called me to come pick the kids up from the park. When they got there, he smelled like beer, his face was puffy, he was slurring and speaking incoherently. Our relationship ended due to drunken violence, I did not want to push him so I drove him home and took my kids home. I immediately emailed my attorney but I have not heard from her. During the time he had them, he supposedly drove them 20 mins to and from Chuck E. Cheese. I also asked the kids’ daycare teacher if he acted differently but they just said he smelled like he took a bath in cologne (when we were together, he would use cologne or mouth wash to cover the smell of alcohol if he would go to get more or do something where he cannot smell like alcohol, he isn’t dumb). Unless he drank enough in an hour to become that drunk, I suspect he was drinking and driving as well.
Last summer he went to rehab because we did not have a custody agreement, he was drunk on a day he was supposed to have them, and I told him he would never see them again unless he got help. Apparently that only lasted about a year, and now he has a car which is an added danger. If I ignore this and something ends up happening to my kids, I will never be able to live with myself.
For what it’s worth, I’ve decided the next time I suspect that he is drunk, I’m going to text a family member to contact the police and send them to our location. I hate feeling like I’m wasting police time and tax money, but I hate being in a position of not having physical proof.
Looking for legal advice on how to move forward.

Hello, i hope my lackluster title has caught your attention. In any case, just like you, i've grown the urge to talk to strangers on the internet and currently i'd rather talk than text.
I'm a confident talker and not too awkward as i pretty much have worked jobs that involved chatting to people my whole life. I'm open to talk to anyone about anything. I'm easy going and as long as the vibes are there, i can pretty much talk about anything.
Articulated and intellectual conversations are welcome.
I call on discord so if you're interested, feel free to send me a message.

I just want to vent since it just hurts deep. Sorry if this sounds rambling it's being weighing on me alot.
Some back story my older sister and I are 7 years apart. I used to live with my mother when I had my first, my mom kept everything when she was evicted she put everything in storage beside my asking for my things. She keep insisting later another time or she would claim she gave it away to someone else. December 2022 she was kicked out of her rental and moved in with my husband eldest daughter and i. June of last year I found out I was pregnant with my second baby the same year My sister's husband passed and she decided to do what they always wanted to go ahead and have ivf that was scheduled the following week. So we would be about 4 months apart and having babies the same year.
On to the meat of the story, December last year my husband's aunts wanted to plan and host a baby shower for us since it was his first baby. I had my baby shower I asked months in advance for my mom to get my stuff before the baby shower so I could make an accurate list of things I needed she did not. I gave up make a new registry of everything I need for baby girl. My mom know the shower was being planned, didn't really make an effort to try and be involved in the planning or wanting to help me register for things in store. January comes along my baby shower was coming up quick and my mom hadn't taken that day off or even went shopping for a gift for the shower, she begrudgingly takes the day off to go and makes a fuss about having to use her time to go. The week of my baby shower I remind her what time and where she asks me what did I want as a gift I asked you didn't get one yet? She tells me no I've been too busy with work and your sister to go shopping. The day of the shower she rushed getting ready, needs to run to target to buy a gift and card, and inisits on talking my distracted 8 year old with her. No real though or effort in the gift she sends me pictures of what's there saying pick a swing. After the party I felt hurt and sad I just kept to myself about how I felt since telling her was a losing battle. February I went into labor at 11pm my mom was getting ready for work asked why are you awake I tell her I'm in labor i get an oh i have to go to work i cant not go. At 2 am my daughter was born the only person by my side was my husband. We stayed one day in the hospital when we went home things went mostly back to normal until my sister's baby shower needed to be planned. My mother went all out buying poster board decorations, custom banners, signs, 7 different game prizes from gift cards to smalls things, sweets, onesies decoration station and luxury party favors. Oh her baby shower gifts 4 different big bags full of gifts from her and her boyfriend paying. My house became a disaster baby shower stuff every where, decorations, party favors and whatever else she kept ordering. My mom took 3 days off to help get everything ready set up and buy all the things. Going to the baby shower I just felt crushes I didn't get the same attention or even effort.