In the annals of gaming history, few titles command the reverence and adoration as the legendary Doom franchise. Born from the minds of John Romero, John Carmack, Adrian Carmack, and Tom Hall, Doom would go on to lay the foundations for just about every modern video game that exists. It was a true tour de force, a success story few could scarce ever imagine.
Released in 1993, Doom was an immediate smash hit, thanks in no small part to its shareware format, which allowed users to experience the first few levels of Knee Deep In the Dead, and then order the full game via the phone number included. Players could then share the floppy disk with their friends, and so on, and so on. It was a truly revolutionary system, and within a single year, Doom had sold over 2 million copies.
The history of the Doom franchise is one of innovation, ultra violence, and controversy (1999's Columbine High School Massacre), and that reputation is one that continued with 2016's DOOM. DOOM was officially revealed at Quakecon 2014, ten years after Doom 3. Players had long resigned to Doom being considered a dead franchise. A reboot had been in the works for a number of years prior, but never got released, having been quietly cancelled by id in 2010. The future was bleak, but the 30 second long teaser ignited a spark that had been burning dimmer every passing year.
Then came E3 2015.
The hype was unreal. The trailer had everything that fans could possibly want. Gore, intense violence, insane run n gun gameplay, a rip-roaring soundtrack and the MFING CHAINSAW. But fans had been let down before. Would it really hold up its promises?
Yes. Yes, it would.
PART I: Presentation
When DOOM burst onto the scene in 2016, it did so with a visual and auditory spectacle that left players awestruck. From the moment the game boots up, players are made aware that this is not your average shooter. You are greeted with a deep, commanding voice. "Rip and tear, until it is DONE."
Immediately, players are greeted with a scene of carnage and the Doom Slayer chained to a table, which, of course, he instantly breaks free from. A zombie attempts to relieve the Slayer of his life but is beaten to the punch with a prompt skull smashing. After putting the other zombies to rest, he interacts with the panel in the corner, is greeted by one Dr. Samuel Hayden, who attempts to justify the outbreak, and decides he would rather kill shit than listen to excuses and destroys the monitor.
That is the introduction to this game. It never wastes the player's time. We aren't here to listen to long droning monologues or watch MGS style cutscenes. id Software knew their audience, and knew what that audience wanted, and they deliver in spades. This introduction sets the tone for the entire experience: relentless action, unapologetic violence, and a protagonist who is as unstoppable as he is uncompromising. The Doom Slayer's disdain for exposition and his single-minded focus on annihilating demons resonate with players who crave a pure, unadulterated gaming experience.
By eschewing lengthy cutscenes and exposition-heavy dialogue in favor of fast-paced gameplay and visceral action, id Software delivers a game that respects the player's time and delivers exactly what they came for: non-stop demon-slaying action. In an era where many games are criticized for padding their runtime with unnecessary filler, DOOM stands out as a shining example of how to create a focused and engaging experience that keeps players coming back for more.
Rather than bombarding players with lengthy exposition or intrusive cutscenes, DOOM opts for a more environmental storytelling approach. Throughout the game, players can discover audio logs, read text-based terminals, and observe environmental details that provide context and background to the events unfolding around them.
The story of DOOM revolves around the Doom Slayer's mission to stop a demonic invasion unleashed by the Union Aerospace Corporation (UAC) on their Martian facility. As players progress through the game, they uncover details about the UAC's experiments with Hell energy, the origins of the demonic invasion, and the Doom Slayer's own mysterious past.
While the story may not be front and center in DOOM, it nonetheless adds depth and richness to the game world, enhancing the overall experience for players who choose to engage with it. And for those who prefer to focus solely on the action, the story remains secondary, allowing them to enjoy the game on their own terms.
That's all well and good, but what about the actual gameplay? Simply put, it is exhilarating. From the moment you are given control of the Slayer, players are thrust into a frenzy of blood and violence, and it never lets up. At its core, DOOM is a first-person shooter that harkens back to the genre's roots while injecting it with a healthy dose of modern flair. The gameplay is fast-paced, frenetic, and utterly unapologetic in its brutality. You're not just a player – you're the Doom Slayer, a force of nature hell-bent on eradicating every last demon in your path.
Central to the gameplay experience is the game's combat loop, which revolves around a delicate balance of aggression and strategy. In DOOM, there's no hiding behind cover or waiting for your health to regenerate – you're constantly on the move, strafing, dodging, and leaping across the battlefield as you unleash a torrent of bullets, rockets, and plasma upon your enemies.
Weapons include the iconic shotgun, heavy assault rifle, plasma rifle, rocket launcher, and the devastating BFG 9000, among others. Each weapon offers different firing modes, such as single shot, burst fire, and continuous beam, providing players with tactical options in combat. A key aspect of combat is the Glory Kill system, which allows players to perform brutal finishing moves on staggered enemies. Glory Kills not only provide health and ammo but also contribute to the flow of combat by encouraging aggressive play. It is incredibly satisfying to watch the Slayer rip an imp in half or stomp their head into the pavement, and doing so rewards you with a large return of health.
The Chainsaw mechanic is another integral part of combat, allowing players to instantly kill most enemies and gain a large amount of ammo in return. However, Chainsaw fuel is limited and must be managed carefully. Like Glory Kills, watching the chainsaw tear demons apart is incredibly satisfying. Certain demons require more fuel but provide the player with more ammo in return. Balancing which demons you chainsaw and which ones you choose to Glory Kill is an important part of combat.
Exploration is key to progression and is rewarding to those players who choose to do. Hidden throughout the levels of the game are Argent Cells, Praetor Tokens, and Rune Trials. Each of these provide upgrades to your health/shield/ammo, suit, and passive abilities respectively. Also hidden throughout the game are levers that lead you to classic levels from Doom 1 and Doom 2, which then unlock the full level of its respective game, playable from the main menu. You can also find toy models of the Doom Slayer, which unlock various character models to view. On some of these models, the Doom Slayer will perform a unique action when picking it up, such as fist bumping the classic Doomguy. It's a nice and cute little touch added by the developers that does a little to add character to the Slayer, who is a silent protagonist.
id Software masterfully blends modern game design with a deep reverence for the classics, paying homage to the series' storied history while introducing new elements that propel the franchise forward. Central to this approach is the game's character design, which strikes a delicate balance between nostalgia and innovation. At its core is the iconic protagonist, the Doom Slayer, whose design pays homage to the original Doom Marine while incorporating modern updates that make him feel both familiar and fresh. With his battle-worn armor, imposing stature, and silent demeanor, the Doom Slayer is the embodiment of raw power and unrelenting rage.
The game's roster of enemies is a veritable who's who of classic Doom foes, reimagined for the modern era. From the lowly possessed soldiers to the hulking Cyberdemon, each enemy is lovingly crafted to capture the essence of its 1990s counterpart while introducing new mechanics and behaviors that keep players on their toes. Whether you're facing off against the agile Revenants, the relentless Hell Knights, or the grotesque Cacodemons, every encounter is a nostalgic trip down memory lane, punctuated by the satisfying sound of demon flesh being torn asunder.
But the main story is not where it ends. DOOM has an arcade mode, where players can run through the levels again, this time trying for high scores and medals while collecting 1 Ups. It's important to move fast and have accurate aim; the more kills you chain together, the bigger your score is. Getting hit reduces your score. At the end of the level, your score is tallied against others on a leaderboard. It's a great way to incentivize players to keep playing, in order to get a better and better score.
There is also multiplayer, where players compete in various game modes such as classic deathmatch, warpath and free for all. Players can become demons by collecting runes on the battlefield and this gives them a distinct advantage; demons are larger, stronger and more resilient. Players are bizarrely restricted to only two weapons and a loadout in multiplayer, which blew my mind. Loadouts. In a DOOM game. The demons are also massively unbalanced and if one team manages to get a particularly powerful demon such as a baron of hell, then it's a guaranteed win. All in all, the multiplayer just isn't great. You are better off replaying the story or arcade mode, or even SnapMap.
SnapMap is id Software's proprietary level editor, and it puts every other editor on the market to shame. SnapMap is an incredible, intuitive, easy to learn system allowing players to create their own multiplayer, co-op and single player maps. There is an extensive tutorial system that teaches users the basics, and goes up in depth, covering how to use AI triggers, switches, combinations, object layering, actions, recalls, audio cues, etc. Never have I ever seen such an in-depth interface on a console game before. While it is only surface level in the grand scheme of things, SnapMap is a great introduction to teaching users how game development works, and I urge everyone to try it out at least once.
Part II: The Music
In DOOM, the music isn't just a background accompaniment – it's a driving force that propels players forward, electrifying every moment of the gameplay experience. Composed by the incredibly talented Mick Gordon, the soundtrack of DOOM is a relentless onslaught of metal and electronica that perfectly complements the game's fast-paced action and visceral combat. From the moment you boot up the game, you're greeted by the iconic strains of the main theme, a haunting melody that sets the tone for the epic journey that lies ahead. As you traverse the game's environments, the music shifts seamlessly between atmospheric ambience and pulse-pounding metal.
But it's not just the composition of the music that makes it so memorable – it's also the way it's integrated into the gameplay itself. Mick Gordon's dynamic scoring system ensures that the music evolves in real-time based on the player's actions, ramping up in intensity during combat encounters and dialing back during quieter moments of exploration. This creates a sense of momentum and flow that enhances the overall pacing of the game
One of the standout features of the soundtrack is its use of unconventional instrumentation and sound design. Mick Gordon's signature sound combines distorted guitars, pounding drums, and industrial noise to create a sonic palette that is as brutal and unforgiving as the game itself. From the deep, guttural growls of the synth bass to the ear-shredding shrieks of the guitar solos, every element of the music is designed to evoke a sense of chaos and destruction, mirroring the relentless carnage unfolding onscreen.
Of course, no discussion of the music in DOOM would be complete without mentioning the iconic tracks that have become synonymous with the game. From the adrenaline-fueled "Rip & Tear" to the bone-crushing "BFG Division," each track is a masterpiece of composition and production, perfectly capturing the essence of the DOOM experience and elevating it to new heights. Mick Gordon's composition for the DOOM soundtrack is a tour de force in heavy metal and industrial electronica, meticulously crafted to evoke the essence of the game's frenetic gameplay.
The backbone of the soundtrack is the distorted guitar, which provides the driving force behind many of the tracks. Gordon's use of extended-range guitars and custom-tuned instruments gives the music its signature low-end punch, while his aggressive playing style adds a raw, visceral energy to the sound. In addition to guitars, Gordon incorporates a wide range of electronic and synthetic elements into his compositions, including synthesizers, drum machines, and sampled sounds. These elements are used to create atmospheric textures, rhythmic patterns, and dynamic effects.
One of the most innovative aspects of Gordon's sound design is his use of audio manipulation techniques, such as granular synthesis and spectral processing. These techniques allow him to deconstruct and manipulate audio in real-time, creating complex textures and effects.
Perhaps the most revolutionary aspect of Mick Gordon's composition for DOOM is his dynamic scoring system, which adjusts the music in real-time based on the player's actions. This system, known as "MIDI-controlled dynamic music," allows the music to seamlessly transition between different layers and variations depending on the intensity of the gameplay. Gordon achieves this dynamic effect by dividing each track into multiple stems or layers, each representing a different element of the music (e.g., drums, guitars, synths). These stems are then triggered and mixed in real-time using MIDI data generated by the game engine, allowing the music to adapt and evolve dynamically as the player progresses through the game.
Part III: Building a Legacy
All too often in this industry, legacy franchises are either left in the dust to be forgotten, or brought back to a limp fanfare, only to be thrust back into the shadows of the past. This happens for a myriad of reasons, and I believe the biggest one is that they don't respect their legacy, and they don't respect the players who engage with them.
At its core, DOOM is a game that understands what players want: fast-paced action, engaging gameplay, and a sense of empowerment. By focusing on these core principles, id Software created an experience that resonated with players old and new, capturing the spirit of the original games while pushing the series forward. Central to this approach is the game's unwavering commitment to respecting the player. From its minimalist storytelling and streamlined level design to its intuitive controls and dynamic difficulty system, DOOM prioritizes the player's experience above all else, ensuring that every moment of the game is engaging, immersive, and satisfying.
One of the most notable ways that DOOM respects the player is through its approach to difficulty. Rather than imposing artificial barriers or punishing players for their mistakes, the game encourages experimentation and mastery through its responsive gameplay mechanics and adaptive enemy AI. Players are given the freedom to approach encounters in their own way, whether it's through brute force, cunning strategy, or a combination of both.
Another key aspect of DOOM's player-centric design is its emphasis on accessibility. From its difficulty settings and intuitive user interface to its robust accessibility features, such as colorblind modes and customizable controls, the game ensures that players of all skill levels and abilities can enjoy the experience without feeling excluded or overwhelmed.
But perhaps the most important way that DOOM respects the player is through its commitment to fun. At its core, DOOM is a game that prioritizes the player's enjoyment above all else, delivering a seamless and exhilarating experience that keeps players coming back for more. Whether you're blasting demons with a shotgun, exploring hidden secrets, or rocking out to Mick Gordon's pulse-pounding soundtrack, DOOM is a game that never stops prioritizing YOU.
DOOM's legacy is one of respect – respect for the player, respect for the franchise, and respect for the medium of video games as a whole. By prioritizing fun, accessibility, and player agency, id Software created an experience that not only honors the legacy of the original games but also sets a new standard for what a modern first-person shooter can be. And for that, we owe them a debt of gratitude.

Two teens Kesher and Harrison were called to the principal's office in the middle of class. They were brought to a house where they met three other teens, Nya, Olivia, and Samuel. They had quick introductions before getting shoved out by Mr.Richard, the man who gathered everyone. Kesher, Harrison, Nya, Olivia, and Samuel enter a library inside the house, where they find 5 books that make some sort of map. Soon after they are brought into the room where they will be spending the night. In the room, there are enough beds and closets for each of the teens, as well as clothes that fit perfectly. Their hunger grows so they walk their way to the kitchen where they meet a chef who has been preparing food. She guides them to a table that is covered with plates of food, ranging from ham and turkey as well as fully cooked meals. They enjoy the food put on the table, until soon after Samuel realizes there's a specific pattern on the back of the forks. As the teens gather the rest of the special forks they see that it makes a compass of some kind.

I'm migrating my org-mode notes of several years to Obsidian, and I want to make notes between concepts I've noticed in the world and it would be great if the AI could read through all those kilobytes of daily entries and point out where those ideas occurred.
But as you will see,GPT4o (playground chat) doesn't understand my ideas very well. Am I doing something wrong, or are LLMs just not there yet for this?

Example ideas

Accepting everything as it is

If you accept everything for what it is, and then take action from there, that is inspired action (that comes from love, compassion, passion). That keeps your heart open, mind open. David Hawkins, Letting Go

Beauty is Fundamental Truth

Beauty is your inner intelligence telling you what is valuable, whta you should strive for. why do you find something beautiful? order; regularity; elegance; poise; safety; desirable feeling du jour.... these are your values.

Clouds are a good metaphor for how change happens in the world

Watching the clouds tells you how everything in the world changes.

Prompt

System:
I will provide two files, ideas.md and daily_lessons.md. Find instances where the ideas happened in daily_lessons.md. Do not paraphrase or summarize, simply mention the line and the idea it related to so:
excerpt -> idea
/begin ideas.md ... /end ideas.md
User:
/begin daily_lessons.md ... /end daily_lessons.md

Answer Unsatisfactory

But as you can see, GPT4o (playground chat) doesn't seem to understand my ideas very well.
Assistant:

1. **Flow with the world to steer the flow** - _daily_lessons.md: 2020-01-01 Well I guess I bought the second phone after all_ - _"I've realized that sticking with something makes me appreciate it more and be grateful for it even if there are flaws."_ 2. **Dimensions** - _daily_lessons.md: 2021-01-26 Dienstag How to represent higher dimensions graphically_ - _Discussion about representing higher dimensions graphically and how thinking about the big picture is thinking in higher dimensions._ 3. **Photographer decides the Audience's Perspective** - _daily_lessons.md: 2021-02-23 Dienstag Where am I at life now?_ - _"Living life as a jack of all trades allows me to keep an adaptable perspective and understanding the bigger picture."_ 4. **Positive Feedback Loop - helping others get rich helps you get rich** - _daily_lessons.md: 2020-03-19 Freitag New Crypto Investing Philosophy, DeFi to NFT to what next?_ - _"My crypto strategy is to accumulate ETH, BTC, and other coins, which helps build value in these currencies and loops back to increasing my USDT value."_ 5. **Notice how it's normal to tense up to everything, but relaxing is the best reaction** - _daily_lessons.md: 2021-01-29 Freitag_ - _"It's tempting to fill empty space up - but good things can come of having empty space!"_ 6. **I treasure things that get out of my way (enable my flow)** - _daily_lessons.md: 2021-01-01 Freitag: Becoming Aware of Mind Quietness/Scatteredness_ - _"I can control and notice the state of my mind and take corrective action to keep it unworried and efficient."_ 7. **Clouds are a good metaphor for how change happens in the world** - _daily_lessons.md: 2016-11-20 Sonntag_ - _"The truth is the subconscious is the one that generates ideas naturally, like clouds constantly changing form."_ 8. **Beauty is Fundamental Truth** - _daily_lessons.md: 2021-03-15 Montag_ - _"By not being fixated on a specific type of beauty I can become more appreciative of various forms of beauty in life."_ 9. **Accepting everything as it is** - _daily_lessons.md: 2021-01-01 Freitag_ - _"Accepting a slower learning pattern and settling comfortably into a rhythm in a balanced way."_

I see a lot of posts on here about whether or not therapists care about their clients or like their clients “really.” I also see posts about paying for the therapy service. I have been a therapist for 10 years and I will share my honest personal experience.
Liking A Client
I really can’t think of a client on my current roster I don’t “like” because I’m truly not thinking like that. The neutrality that people find annoying about therapists can be genuine. I have clients ask me questions like “Do you think I’m crazy/selfish/annoying?” and I have to take a step back in those moments. Not because I am afraid to say yes, but because I am not thinking like that while I have my therapist hat on. I am not judging things as good or bad, I am trying to understand the why. My job in the session is to be curious and judgement kills curiosity. I am thinking “Hmm I just made a suggestion and I sense some resistance here, how can I explore that resistance?” Not “Oh this client is being annoying because they are resisting me.”
I don’t know how to explain it fully, but the vast vast majority of the time I don’t like or dislike a client. There will be that rare client that slips through my screening process that I don’t feel like I understand and that is frustrating. Like everything I say to check for understanding they will say no to. Ex. “So it seems like you are frustrated at your mom?” Client: “I’m not frustrated at my mom I just wish she would…” This is hard because I really try to understand, but I wouldn’t say I dislike this person. I just feel like we don’t get very far.
Do I Care About My Clients?
It’s hard to explain how you can so fully connect and be immersed in someone’s life for one hour a week. It’s hard to explain how you can care so deeply and yet let them go over and over again after every session. Sometimes I think about my clients during the rest of the week and sometimes I don’t, but it doesn’t define if I care for them or not. You learn early on it doesn’t do any good worrying about your clients in your off time. It doesn’t help them or you. I want to be present in my own life when I’m not working. That doesn’t mean I don’t care for or love my clients.
The best analogy I can come up with is that working with a client is like going to their house. I enter their world, with it’s own logic and rules for an hour. In this house you put your coffee mug here, take your shoes off, etc. Every house is different, but I never confuse them, once inside I remember everything. The client has many different rooms we explore in their house. With some clients, I feel like I know every nook and cranny of their house, though I’m sure that’s not true. I can’t know everything. I like stepping into someone’s world/house. It’s interesting, just like walking around someone’s actual home.
Occasionally, I will see that a client has the same rug/towels/fridge as me. I can point this out to the client if I believe it will be helpful, but the client will never go into my home to see my rug. I can only tell them the rugs are the same in a general way. I can tell them this is how I care for my rug, but they will never see me vacuuming. This feels very safe to me. I get to bring my authentic self to session, but I don’t have to show my house, my layout, my struggles. In my personal relationships people come into my home and dirty the place up. I am affected by the behaviors and choices of those in my personal life. I’m not saying that client’s can’t hurt me, they have. It’s just easier to process that hurt because our lives aren’t intertwined. Our selves are intertwined, but not our lives. Being a therapist is a huge responsibility because I know what I say and do can have great effect, but also my clients will never be annoyed with me because I don’t do the dishes before I go to bed. And that’s nice. I would encourage anyone struggling with feeling close to their therapist, but feeling pained the relationship can’t be “more” (more time, friendship, more love from the therapist) to consider how nice it is not to know all the things about your therapist that would annoy the shit out of you :)
Building A Relationship From Nothing
Sometimes in the first or second session I don’t yet understand a client or I don’t feel like they are being genuine with me, so I don’t care about them on a deeper level. I’m just being professional at that point. But pretty much with every client by the 4th or 5th session I’m able to feel like I understand them enough and have developed a deep compassion for them. Sometimes because I can see how hard they are trying, but how scared they are to be in therapy, how much they want change for themselves. If you’ve come to 5 sessions you are generally trying. People who don’t want to put in work drop off after one or two sessions.
I genuinely admire and feel awe towards the vast majority of my clients. It is amazing to see what people survive and how they want to do better for themselves or their loved ones than what they were given. I feel such compassion for their struggles. I feel such love for them. We see a very different side of people, a vulnerable side of people, and when you see that hurt child inside you can’t feel anything but sympathy.
Some clients have really rough exteriors. They’ve never told another person how they feel in an unguarded manner, so it’s awkward or they avoid it or it seems like they hate therapy. In the beginning of my career this was hard to tolerate. I hated those sessions because I felt so uncomfortable. Now, I can honestly say it doesn’t bother me. I know my job in those sessions and I do it, unattached to the outcome of them opening up. Why? Because I know what I can control and what I can’t. Most of the time those clients open up eventually and it’s very rewarding work. Some of the time they don’t make progress either because I’m not the right therapist for them or they aren’t ready yet. And I can honestly say that’s okay. I just had a termination session with a client last week who wanted to place the blame on his external circumstance rather than look at his beliefs and patterns. After months of trying and exploration, I genuinely wish that person well and release them.
Money
I see clients through a group private practice and make a set rate per client hour. I never try to get a client to schedule more sessions for money and if a client cancels I never feel upset losing that money individually. I’ve been a therapist long enough to know that no matter what people will cancel and I take on more clients than I need to to cover the weeks when I have cancellations or it’s slow getting new clients. How often do I think about my clients paying me? Literally never unless they bring it up. I think about it as a cluster. Like I have about 30 clients (some are every other week or monthly). The cluster pays me. I never think about an individual paying me. This may be because I don’t actually charge the clients, my group practice does. I like this because I need to make money, but money really isn’t a consideration in my treatment. I think clients think about the money much more than the therapists do.
I hope any of this was helpful!

I tells ya, so much falls into place here. This comes from Helen Hardacre's book Kurozumikyō and the New Religions of Japan, Princeton University Press, Princeton, New Jersey, 1986. First, some background:

The contemporary religious scene in Japan is commonly divided into the "established religions" (kisei shūkyō) and the "new religions" (shinshūkō). These categories are further divided into Buddhist- and Shintō-derived varieties of each as well as into further subcategories.

The titular "Kurozumikyō" is a Shintō new religion founded in 1814 by the Shintō priest Kurozumi Munetada. As of this publication, it had a total membership of 220,000.

Founded by a priest of the "established" Shintō tradition, it is one of the oldest of the so-called new religions and seems to combine aspects of both new and established types. (p. 3)
THE NEW RELIGIONS OF JAPAN
The new religions and their members represent an important and distinctive sector of Japanese society. In spite of the great variety of their doctrines, new religions share a unity of aspiration and world view significantly different from those of secular society and from the so-called established religions. New religions constitute the most vital sector of Japanese religion today and include perhaps 30 percent of the nation's population in their membership. (p. 3)

A source I read recently noted that the Soka Gakkai grew from poaching members of other new religions; it seems this demographic was the most fluid and changeable of Japan's religious demographic. However, at just 30% of the population, even if the Soka Gakkai had managed to claim 100% of these new religions' memberships, it would still have fallen short of Ikeda's self-defined minimum requirement of 1/3 of the population.

Among the doctrines of the new religions there is great variety, since doctrine frequently originates in revelations to a founder. (p. 5)

Here is the Soka Gakkai's version:

The enlightenment attained by President Toda in prison is the prime point of Soka Buddhism.

Founders tend to be charismatic individuals who attract a following through faith healing rather than through ordination and textual erudition.

The Soka Gakkai version:

Ikeda: "Every disease can be cured by Gohonzon!"

Also here and here and especially HERE - DEFINITELY with the "faith healing".
As far as the "textual erudition" goes, Toda's post-WWII lectures on the Lotus Sutra were expected to be accepted as the "gold standard" of textual interpretation, and today, SGI members study Ikeda's lectures on texts rather than the texts themselves - see here and here. Who needs any priest??

The new religions tend to recruit their following through evangelistic proselytization and dramatic conversion, at least in the first generation. They promise followers "this-worldly-benefits" in the form of healing, solution of family problems, and material prosperity. In ethics they emphasize family solidarity and qualities of sincerity, frugality, harmony, diligence, and filial piety. Between laity and leaders there is only a vague dividing line, and for the most part, anyone may acquire leadership credentials, including women. Frequently the new religions recognize no sacred centers but those of their own history. (pp. 5-6)

While the Soka Gakkai initially embraced pilgrimages ("tozan") to the Nichiren Shoshu Head Temple Taiseki-ji, their regular activities were centered on Soka Gakkai buildings ("kaikan", or "centers") rather than on Nichiren Shoshu temples. In fact, this was an early source of conflict, as the Nichiren Shoshu priesthood justifiably questioned WHY the Soka Gakkai was putting so much more effort and resources into building NEW Soka Gakkai centers than on building Nichiren Shoshu temples, which would have been the proper function of any religion's legitimate lay organization. Add to that the bad optics of Ikeda's cult's attempted steeplejacking of established Nichiren Shoshu temples, and there was DEFINITELY something rotten in Denmark, so to speak. The Soka Gakkai's focus was trained on IKEDA rather than on the priests of the order they supposedly belonged to as a lay organization. That's some fucked up priorities and it was only a matter of time before that became an open, obvious problem. Of course Ikeda hoped to delay that reckoning until he was in a position to seize the entire Nichiren Shoshu religion for himself. Too bad, so sad, the Nichiren Shoshu priesthood headed him off at the pass and spoiled all his beautiful plots.

The world view of the Japanese new religions conceives of the individual, society, nature, and the universe as an integrated system vitalized by a single principle. Every level represents the manifestation of that principle on a larger scale. The relationships among the levels, however, are not static. They must be maintained in balance, harmony, and congruence. These qualities are manifested in conditions of happiness, health, social stability, abundant harvests, and regular succession of the seasons (free of such calamities as flood, drought, and major earthquakes). The opposite conditions (unhappiness, illness, social unrest, scarcity of food, and natural disasters) are symptomatic of a lack of harmony or congruence. Everything is interconnected so that a change in one dimension, no matter how small, eventually ripples out and affects other dimensions in a larger context. Religious practice is a striving for continuous integration of self with the body, society, nature, and the universe. This involves careful management of the most basic components: the self, the faculties of mind and emotion, and the personality. (pp. 11-12)

This thinking was the basis for Nichiren's Rissho Ankoku Ron, or "On Establishing the etc. & whatever".
Here is the chart that illustrates this thinking; you can clearly see the basis for "A great human revolution in just a single individual will help achieve a change in the destiny of a nation and, further, can even enable a change in the destiny of all humankind". There is no scientific basis for this kind of delusion; ignorant people just LIKE believing it. "Look how IMPORTANT and INFLUENTIAL I am!! Everything is all about MEEE!!!" The Soka Gakkai has been in existence (in a continuous state) for some 80 years now; if this sort of thing DID happen, we'd see it. We already know Ikeda had such high hopes for his followers, but the truth is that the membership never lived up to Ikeda's expectations. No "world leaders" emerged from Soka Gakkai ranks; they didn't even become rich! That simply isn't something that happens because of "this practice", no matter how much Ikeda misled all the gullibles. Daimoku is obviously NOT "the perfect solution for all problems".

Although the new religions inevitably adopt the system I have just described, they state it in different idioms. They may use Buddhist, Shintō, or colloquial terms for the self, calling it variously the kokoro (heart-mind or heart), konjō (guts), *reikon (spirit), tamashii (soul), and other terms. Similarly, they may name the principle vitalizing all existence by Shintō, Buddhist, or other terms: kami-nature, Buddha-nature, karma, ki, yōki, and so forth. They may predicate the existence of a variety of supernaturals who exist on a different plane than human beings, intervening in human affairs from time to time. These may be kami, Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, or ancestors. Alien to the system is the notion of a single deity standing outside the whole and manipulating it by means of an unknowable will. The supernaturals of the integrated system are subject to its rhythms and generally conform to its principles. The system is compatible with a variety of cosmological ideas and world pictures, including horizontal and vertical cosmologies seen in Japanese myths and in Buddhism's many-tiered realms of existence. (pp. 12-14)
Because self-cultivation is the primary task of all, textual erudition, esoteric ritual, and the observance of abstinences are rejected or relegated to secondary significance.

Because "Earthly desires ARE enlightenment", right?? And all that other Buddhism stuff, well, that's all obsolete now, "as useless as last year's calendar", right??

The notion of kokoro is a hallmark of Japanese culture, and it is the central pillar of the world view of the new religions. Consider the following proverb, one that could be endorsed by the new religions and is a stock saying in secular society: "Both suffering and happiness depend on how we bear the kokoro." Kokoro is borne or carried in a certain way, good or bad, and according to that we suffer or are happy. We are in control. An ordinary, nonreligious interpretation of this proverb would say that our attitude toward circumstances determines in large part whether we are happy or unhappy, or that an attitude of "positive thinking" can improve our experience of unfavorable situations even if the circumstances are not thereby altered. (p. 19)

You can see Ikeda alluding to this here:

Even a man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. On the other hand, an elderly woman who is not fortunate financially, leading a simple life alone, may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.

An interpretation of the proverb among the new religions is likely to be much stronger, to hold that human beings certainly have the power to be happy, depending solely on the manner in which one bears kokoro. We need only exercise that power by self-cultivation.

And remember - NO COMPLAINING!!

Moreover, the idea that circumstances can be changed by the power of diligently cultivated kokoro is pervasive. It is a question not only of a change of attitude but sometimes of radical material change, such as an improvement in economic situation or a miraculous healing. It is understood that the cultivated kokoro has the power also to change external persons and events, and that nothing is impossible. Exercising the full power fo the kokoro is possible for anyone who practices self-cultivation through the spiritual disciplines of the particular religious group. (pp. 19-20)

Isn't that the whole basis for the idea of "human revolution"? How else could anyone understand "You can chant for whatever you want!"? Don't the Dead-Ikeda-cult SGI culties love to talk about "making the impossible possible"?? Hmm..I wonder why they never do...🤨
Here Ikeda likens the Soka Gakkai practice to the magic lamp of the "Aladdin" story. And it only works for Soka Gakkai members, of course.

We chant to make the impossible possible, we want extraordinary, not ordinary. Let's get those benefits flowing, let's appreciate those challenges that allow us to grow and win and share those victories with others so that they can be inspired and win. Source

While the terminology of the self is basic to understanding Japanese constructions of self, the patterns of action and affect in which these are embedded constitute the functioning of the world view of the new religions. Here I identify four such patterns:

(1) the idea that "other people are mirrors,"

(2) the exchange of gratitude and repayment of favor,
(3) the quest for sincerity, and
(4) the adherence to paths of self-cultivation.
So much for the supposed "novelty" of Dickeata's supposedly eternal "clear mirror guidance", eh? Oh, and EVERYBODY owes Scamsei and the SGI their eternal gratitude, too, and you NEVER EVER get to finish your "human revolution" ("self-cultivation")!

Each of these patterns represents an indispensable element of Japanese culture, and thus their implementation in Japanese religions is not unique. (p. 21)

Nope. The Soka Gakkai is just bog standard for a Japanese New Religion. Nothing unique or special. Just like all the rest.

The idea that other people are mirrors makes the individual totally responsible in all circumstances. Although the burden is heavy, there is also a tacit message that the self can control any situation. Placing blame and responsibility on the individual also denies the idea that "society" can be blamed for one's problems; hence concepts of exploitation and discrimination are ruled out of consideration. On the whole the new religions are uninterested in political action to improve society; to them it is a question of individuals improving themselves individually and collectively through self-cultivation. (p. 23)

Remember, this author ISN'T talking about Soka Gakkai here! This a feature of ALL Japan's new religions!

Since self-cultivation is the primary determiner of all human affairs, notions of fate or divine wrath (karma or bachi, for example) are reinterpreted, ignored, or denied.

Or introduced when necessary to blame a member when the promises of SGI leaders are proven empty and false. It's always the MEMBERSHIP's fault somehow, never that the teachings are wrong or deceptive.

In like manner, because of the primacy of self-cultivation, the concept of pollution cannot be fully credited, and this opens the door to greater participation by women than is the case in the established religions.

In the case of the Soka Gakkai, "greater participation by women" has been implemented as "greater exploitation of women". The women of the Soka Gakkai were expected to deliver daily newspapers for no pay throughout the Soka Gakkai's history; it is only recently that their numbers have declined so catastrophically and they have aged so much that the Soka Gakkai finally had to contract with a delivery service - which of course Soka Gakkai has to PAY now. Newspapers are SO much more profitable when you can find some suckers to deliver them at no cost to YOU!

Thus the new religions stress unquestioning performance of their established disciplines, fully aware that the demand for uncomprehending obedience (at least iat the beginning) will cause the convert frustration. Also involved as a minor theme is the pedagogical principle that "physical action can be perceived as isomorphic with spiritual change." Thus, for example, polishing floors can be assumed to "polish" the self. If one enters through form, eventually the kokoro will follow.

Speaking of exploiting women, who else heard that when women were cleaning the toilets for free at the local SGI center, they were "cleaning their karma"??

The hardship entailed is not to be avoided; no one denies that it is punishing to polish floors by hand, recite sutras, or endure cold water ablutions. Hardship in itself is virtuous and confers compassion and maturity.

Isn't that the essence of SGI's much-vaunted "youth division training"? Basically, it's SGI leaders getting off on forcing young people to do all sorts of scut work and to engage in unpleasant activities just because they can - somebody has to do the grunt work, right? Make THEM do it! Tell them it's "training" when actually it's just training them to allow themselves to be exploited. For a funny example of this attitude, see how this colossal doofus was trying to cajole and coerce his employee into joining SGI before he aged out of the youth division, so he could get him some of that gooooood "youth division training"!!

Meanwhile, now I worry about Chad, who has only a few months left to obtain YMD training, to whom I had to slip September Living Buddhism under his door, since his subscription is on the internet, and I want him to start working on the Introductory Exam material. Yesterday he did not answer or reply when he was supposed to be at work. (He is paid per day of work from his home.) Today when I arrived he was not even there. So I have been chanting for his welfare. He recently reported to me a medical difficulty he has that may be interfering with his efforts, or worse.

That's ONE way to duck an annoying self-important SGI stalker-nag! "Sorry, can't talk - have the plague..."

All the new religions agree that a person's real potential cannot be fulfilled without suffering, and in this they share with secular society the suspicion about someone who has failed that perhaps kurō ga tarinai, "the person hasn't suffered enough." That is, if one had endured sufficient trials before the present ordeal, one could have conquered this hardship. Accordingly it is important to establish how much leaders and founders have suffered in the course of their own self-cultivation. (p. 28)

See More myths about how the young Ikeda suffered so much and was so sickly wah wah

All problems can be traced to insufficient cultivation of self. Thus it is misguided to expect fundamental social change from political ideology. Instead, society can be improved only through collective moral improvement, the doctrine of meliorism. Similarly, attempting to cure disease simply by treating the body alone is useless. Healing can come about only through rededication to ethical values; hence medicine is effective only in a provisional way. Education and secular achievements apart from faith and cultivation of self are houses of cards, castles on sand. Accordingly, media-sponsored presentation of thoroughly secularized views of life are disapproved. (p. 14)

You can see the clearest examples of this thinking in the teachings of Ikeda and the Soka Gakkai from the 1960s, before people understood how immediate and pervasive "political ideology" could effect fundamental social change, as in the US when the anti-race-mixing "anti-miscegenation" interracial marriage legal prohibitions were swept away in the US Supreme Court's 1967 judgment on "Loving v. Virginia". That changed society more fundamentally and pervasively than any religion's doctrines that people's "hearts" must be changed FIRST before anyone could hope to see societal change realized, or in the terms above, "collective moral improvement". No. Remove unjust laws and establish penalties for behaving unjustly, and voilà! Society changes!
See SGI is actively OPPOSED to social justice and thus will NEVER contribute meaningfully to world peace and More on why SGI will never make any significant changes to society.
Back when Japan's medical system was primitive, with limited availability, the new religions advertised "faith healing", as seen above and here. But as medical care improved and, most importantly, became widely accessible, that became people's healing option of choice, so the new religions (and all the rest) had to drop it as a selling point, because nobody was buying it any more. Within the ignorant and indoctrinated ranks of SGI members, we can STILL see claims of "faith healing"; they apparently don't realize this isn't a compelling sales pitch any more. Except that in house, the superstitious, magical-thinking culties still eat it up with a spoon 🙄
But you can see Ikeda here explaining that medicine is unnecessary to treat various ills; there must be a "faith" component or the treatment will inevitably be ineffective. OR that having faith will make even a nonsensical nontreatment effective! Also slamming medicine as harmful and condemning members as somehow "deserving" of terrible illnesses.
And remember when Ikeda told "girls" they didn't need to go to college? That was fun. And how Icky denigrated university graduates??
Let's not forget how the Soka Gakkai has always been anti-union and has never established any charitable services anywhere, not even for the needy within its own struggling membership.

Lacking justification for a strong differentiation between the religious lives of priests and laity, the tendency to make the laity central is strong and pervasive. (p. 14)

This was a primary issue within the Soka Gakkai that festered until Ikeda brought it to a full boil out of his obsessive desire to BE the object of worship. The Soka Gakkai/Nichiren Shoshu alliance, while expedient for the Soka Gakkai and undeniably profitable for Nichiren Shoshu, was nonetheless an uneasy alliance, given the Soka Gakkai's defining characteristics as a "new religion" and Nichiren Shoshu's "established religion" status. Those two simply don't mix. Especially on this last point, you can see that it is a characteristic of a "new religion" to have the fundamental attitude that "priests are unnecessary". Ikeda simply wanted to USE Nichiren Shoshu for his OWN convenience, in service to HIS plans, instead of directing the Soka Gakkai to function as a legitimate lay organization whose focus was their religion, Nichiren Shoshu. Ikeda made it all about himself and his goal of maximizing his own power and control. Ikeda was never a religious person.

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I put a post up a few months ago in another community to ask for advice but I was too delusional to explain it right.
My ex (M18) told me that I (F18) manipulated him and that I always criticised him. Only recently had I come to the conclusion that it was actually him.
I understand that he is in a very unhealthy state of mind and needs help but I tried to help him and tried to convince him to get professional help but he didn’t listen so I no longer see it as an excuse. If you find that you or your partner behave in such ways then please re-evaluate your relationship because this isn’t doing what needs to be done for love, it is simply wrong.
In my previous post on another community, I explained that I manipulated him however what I did to manipulate him was ask him if he could come brush his teeth with me because I felt I couldn’t tell him that he had to brush his teeth more. He rarely did and it made kissing feel like a chore instead of pleasure.
Another way I manipulated him was when he was screaming at his parents to leave him alone after an innappropriate joke was made by his father, I pretended to be scared of him so that he would stop hitting himself, things around him and screaming louder than anyone I’ve seen before. Surprisingly, I wasn’t actually afraid but that’s only because of my childhood, I definitely should have been afraid. What I did was I tried to get his attention on me somehow to get him out of his head but he wasn’t listening so I started to fake cry and grasped his knees hard so that my nails dug in a bit to get his god damn attention to show him that I am “afraid” which finally made him calm down a bit each time I did it.
Now onto how I criticised him “constantly”.
I always held him in high regard because despite his difficulties with emotions, he is actually intelligent and so I always thought he was above me.
This means that at the beginning of the relationship I always tried to get his validation because he always made remarks about what annoying things I do that for example “cheapen music” if I were to playfully hum a song while happy. And so I never said he did anything bad because I thought I was always in the wrong.
We had a conversation about this and we agreed that I need to tell him when I think he is going too far and so I did exactly that, except he goes too far very often and he can’t take criticism so every time I brought up something I didn’t like, he would always find a way to explain why I was in the wrong.
Don’t get me wrong, I am far from a perfect angel, but he would shout at me or criticise my happiness for not being genuine enough when it was actually real. He would wake up and almost everything out of his mouth was about how bad the world was and so naturally, it brought down my mood and I would tell him this.
Something to keep in mind is that I have a crappy father that has wore me down to submission and walking on eggshells so I know how to put something as gently as possible. Even with that, when I would tell him what I thought, I was always somehow wrong for feeling put down by his attitude or by the way he spoke to me.
He couldn’t get a job and I was a supervisor so I actually hired people and know what to look for, so I told him I would help him.
Of course he didn’t take my advice, he would get me to explain exactly how what he is saying is wrong when he put in his cv that he is “obedient”. I told him it sounds like he’s a dog and not a person and I would personally be a bit put off if I were to read that on a cv. He still put it on his cv because I didn’t explain well enough why it was an odd thing to say so I must be wrong.
Every time I made a critique, any explanation such as “your attitude puts me down because it’s so negative”, wasn’t ever enough. In fact it was me who was wrong, I was “too weak”.
Finally we have what had to have been the craziest thing.
He has type 1 diabetes which means he needs to supplement insulin so that he can survive. He wasn’t doing it properly and I had no clue that he even had it.
One morning he woke up and was groaning. He then had a face of what looked like intense pain on his face as he grabbed his legs. I tried to get him to respond to me but he wasn’t doing that. I don’t even remember if he was shaking or what was happening and that’s probably because my brain thought I should block that out to cope with this all. I remember he kept trying to get onto the floor from the bed, so I made a comfortable area for him to lie so that he didn’t hurt himself.
I often dealt with injuries or medical issues at my job and always knew when I had to phone an ambulance for whatever reason, but this time I didn’t. I actually believed that he was possessed by some demon. So I never called for his parents or for anyone who could possibly know what happened. I just tried to keep him from bashing himself off surfaces.
Another thing to keep in mind is that I have never seen this kind of seizure type thing and I that still don’t even know what to call it because I don’t remember it well enough, so I had no idea at the time what it could have possibly been. Not an excuse but it’s the best reason I have to explain the crazy decision I made.
The second time it happened I got his parents because I still had no clue what it was. They started to panic and call and ambulance because they knew exactly what it was. During all of this I still had no clue what it was but I had to call in sick from work. I am usually stoic in medical emergencies and know exactly what I am doing but while phoning in sick, I couldn’t hold myself from crying which really is odd for me.
Finally, once it was over, his parents explained that he has type 1 diabetes and that this thing is caused if he doesn’t take his insulin properly and it could lead to death.
From that moment on, every time we were lying down, if he made a sudden movement that I didn’t expect, I would jump up alert and make sure he is okay because I was traumatised I think. However, he would always get mad at me for reacting that way. I tried to get closure by asking him to explain it more to me but he never did so I felt it would be deceitful to search it up on google. But this kept me jumping and every time it happened, he got angrier that I did.
The reason I am writing this post is to show what crazy situations he put me in and that at the end I still truly believed that I was the awful girlfriend to him and so if anyone here is going through anything similar like I was, please feel free to reach out to me and please reach out to your loved ones. Accepting that someone you really care for, could be abusing you is very difficult but it is necessary to call it what it is, abuse.
This is a confusing situation to be in. I still feel odd calling it abuse because I’m not 100% certain that it is. But I know I will never go back to him if he were to ask because after we broke up, I worked so hard on myself and had made a huge amount of progress which made me so much healthier in body and mind and now I finally have set standards for what I accept and can confidently say when I think something is too far.
During the relationship I would find myself flirting with other guys, I thought it was because I was so awful but after good reflection, I realise that it was me looking to see if there are better guys out there or if if this was really how it was meant to be, it’s actually what made me see how bad it was because other men treated me with so much respect and compassion.
Now, I know what I want. I want an ambitious man who can criticise me respectfully and take respectful criticism back. I want a man who not only works to improve himself but simultaneously inspires me to improve myself too, just as I hope I would make him feel that way too.
I believe I have found a guy who is exactly like that and it feels like we are getting closer, although I am terrified that he will turn out exactly the same because I fall to the same patterns all the time but after healing my issues with my dad and in my heart, I think he might actually be good for me and my best friends tell me that they know that he is a good and respectful man.
Thank you if you managed to read all of that.
Summary: Tl;dr
I know this is long so here is a summary.
I think I was abused and went delusional to the point of believing I was the abusive one. If you feel something is off in your relationship, please reach out to me and I would love to hear you out just as someone on here once did to me. There is support out there, please find someone who will be completely honest with you.
Thank you, goodbye.

Hi reddit, I'm a '25/M' and my fiance '24/F are at an end of our 4 year relationship, its not been official yet but its here. Honestly not sure how to even write this since my brain is scrambled.
My fiance and I have known each other for a total of eight years, first four years I was dating someone else and had a kid with them, that relationship ended when ex abused my 3 year old son so I got custody and a restraining order against her and its been peace without her
During that time my fiance was there supporting me, or so I thought she was. Looking back now everything I thought she was "supportive on" was more of controlling and I wish I saw it first before even continuing.
2021 I asked my fiance to move in with me, before we got to that point shes spent time with me and my son, she adored him and helped me with him a lot prior to moving in so my son was already fond of her, so it wasn't all at once. The first year she moved in she got a job, spent time as a family and went for family outings. We were broke as hell living off of food stamps, section 8, and going to food pantries. I've spent many days and nights going hungry just to make sure my son and her had something to eat because growing up thats how I was raised and was told a man and father provides even if its at their own sacrifice.
Everything was picture perfect, we didn't argue, we didn't let the lack of money get to us and we were there for my son. I got a good job, went back to college and did online courses so I can save money and still spend time as a family. After the one year, it started going down hill.
She quit her job, started slacking on being the mother portion, she slept in more. She was showing signs of depression and I spoke with her on it and was supportive as much as I could be and talked to her. She was never able to tell me why she was depressed. She isolated herself, after months of this basically just existing with my son and I she started making it seem like it was a chore to even be around my son. The days my son was in preschool or daycare she was up and about full of energy and wanting my attention all the time, the days my son was home all day or toward the evening when he would come home all of a sudden the energy was gone, she was "tired, not feeling good, or period pains." In the beggining I believed her, then I noticed the pattern.
While she was out of work I was still in college, working and doing everything around the house and taking care of my son. Honestly felt like I was doing everything alone because I was basically was, cleaning up after her and struggling with everything else. It got to the point I flunked out of college due to the stress and workload and she seemed happy about it which pissed me off.
After some time things would be fine then she would go back to her routine. It got to the point I was struggling with bills and I told her she needs to either start working or helping me around the apartment because I shouldn't have to do everything myself if she's there. I never demanded anything of her until that moment, she started helping then a month goes by she gets a job. I got her hired at the place I was working at since I was the manager and the owner and I were really close.... I wish I never did.
Fast forward another year 2023. She quit her job and was talking shit behind my back to the owner and it got to the point the owner thought I was stealing and he confronted me about it. I listened to him and his concerns and proved I wasnt stealing from him and after everything I've done for his store (the store was locally owned, non corporate and he needed help badly. I have business experience and money managment from previous jobs and college. He went from bankruptcy to staying afloat) but due to what she was saying he grew distant and started making my life hell. It got to the point he asked me to leave because he couldnt trust me anymore and he didnt know who to believe. I understood, though I didn't agree but left anyway.
After I lost my job she told me she was going to visit her mom in another state to see her little brother (her brothers and I are very close and the youngest joined the marines, he was doing his graduation from basic) she wanted to go and I was trying to figure out how to pay for the tickets for her to fly out there so she could, I mean that was her brother and a major accomplishment for him, I was proud and wanted to be there for his new journey.
She told me her mom was going to fly her out there and it'd be a few days and said she was going to be the only one going. I understood (her mother didn't really care about me. Think of high-class, cheerleader captain who never grew up)
So she got the dates and it went from a few days to two weeks. I didnt find out until she got there. During the time she was there she didn't really talk to me and on the 3rd day she said her mom left her at the house and drove the 2 hours to go see her brother graduate (any other situation I'd call total BS but her mom is like that) so for the remainder of the time she was there she said her other brother was going to stay with her and keep her company. We didn't talk much and I honestly suspected cheating, but I never asked because I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt since I trusted her.
When she got back I spoke with the hiring manager at the gas station up the road from the apartment and helped her get hired, she worked there for a month, before the hiring manager told me she was fired. (Before anyone asks I had a good reputation with the people in my town.)
Now to speed things up to current, my landlord terminated my lease, nothing bad it was because I was there for the time section 8 alotted, I lost track of the time frame and was panicking because I didn't have another place lined up and since I was the only one working I didn't have money to get a new place. I reached out to my mother and asked for a place to stay and she welcomed all of us with open arms. That was in November of last year.
The fiance didn't want to go and refused to move in with my mom, I understood but explained we had nowhere else to go and it was better than in the street, she didn't help me pack or anything really, just compained that I was packing and moving everything.
When we did finally move in she isolated herself, gave up on working, gave up on spending time with my son and grew aggressive anytime I asked her to watch my son. Also during the "adult times" at night she'd try and get me to finish inside her even when I refused (no BC and I didn't want to risk having another kid when I'm not even financially stable)
A few nights ago my mom found a notebook that had what fiance wrote down in it and she gave it to me saying I should read it. I did, and what was written was how she actually felt about me and the situation. I confronted her about it calmly and just wanted an explanation. She couldnt give me one. My mom was more livid about it than I was and said she didnt want fiance in the house anymore, I understood. I tried smoothing it over and explained to my mom that it was just her writing about how she felt and coping with shit.
My mom allowed fiance a chance to apologize and I even told fiance about the chance. She refused to apologize and said her friend would be coming to get her Tuesday.
I tried talking to fiance last night and ask her why she couldn't apologize even if she didn't mean it. She said she can't and she refuses. I explained that if the situation was flipped and it was where we were at her moms and it was her kid and not mine, I would have apologized because it would have meant I could stay and be with the people I love and not leave. Also reminded her of the abandonedment issues my son already has.
She showed no remorse, which I semi understand, I told her that when she leaves don't expect me to allow her to see my son, because what she did told me and my son to go fuck ourselves. It was at that moment I noticed she was trying to talk about how she would send me money so we can start saving and I took that as an insult since I was the only one saving money and busting my ass off, while she wasn't working or looking for work.
I then asked her if she even wanted to be here and she said she did, she also mentioned that before moving into my moms house she reached out to her friend to move in with her but her friend couldn't take her because of something. I asked her if her friend was able to take her in at that time if she would have taken it, she didn't respond. During this whole conversation she wasn't crying, tearing up, or showing signs of remorse or being upset. I took her silence as the answer.
Today, its almost 10am shes still asleep and I've been working with my son on his school stuff and playing with his trains (HUGE TRAIN ENTHUSIAST) I'm not sure what to say to her when she gets up or if I should say anything. My mom asked me how I was doing because I really did love fiance and spent so much time trying to make it work. But if you've been in a relationship and that sinking feeling in your gut tells you its over, it usually is and that's where I'm at. Not sure what to do or if I should do anything, I'm hurt but numb and still processing.
TL:DR Fiance of 4 years wrote how she truley felt about me, my son and my mother. mother found out and after smoothing things over mother asked for an apology and fiance refused and chose to move out. Not sure how to handle it.

The global steel wire rope market size attained a value of USD 9038 million in 2023. This essential industrial element finds applications in diverse sectors, and the market is projected to further grow at a CAGR of 3.4% between 2024 and 2032 to reach a value of USD 10991 million by 2032. Understanding the dynamics of this market is crucial for both industry participants and potential investors. This blog post delves into the key factors shaping the steel wire rope market, analyzing trends, forecasts, and offering valuable insights for the years ahead.

Understanding the Fundamentals

The introduction sets the stage by highlighting the current market size and projected growth. It then emphasizes the importance of understanding market dynamics for informed decision-making. Finally, a brief overview of the blog structure provides a roadmap for readers.

The Lay of the Land: Exploring Wire Rope Types

Moving forward, the blog explores the various "lay" configurations in steel wire ropes. Lay refers to the way individual wires are twisted around a core strand. Different lay types offer distinct properties:

Regular Lay: The most common type, offering a balance between flexibility and strength.
Lang Lay: Emphasizes flexibility, making it ideal for applications requiring smooth spooling and bending.
Alternate Lay: Offers superior stability and resistance to torque, often used in lifting and hoisting applications.

Each section delves into the applications of these lay types, providing readers with a clear understanding of their suitability for various tasks.

Strand Patterns: A Critical Consideration for Performance

Strand patterns refer to the arrangement of wires within the rope. This blog delves into the different types, including:

Single Layer: Simple and cost-effective, suitable for light-duty applications.
Filler Wire: Increases core diameter, enhancing strength and crush resistance.
Seals: Impregnated lubricants minimize internal friction and corrosion.
Warrington: Offers a balance of strength and flexibility with good fatigue resistance.
Combination: Combines different strand types for specific performance requirements.

A comparative analysis of these patterns highlights their advantages and disadvantages, informing readers about the market implications of choosing the right strand pattern.

Steel Selection: A Balancing Act of Strength and Application

The type of steel used significantly impacts a wire rope's performance. Here, the blog explores two common options:

Stainless Steel: Offers superior corrosion resistance, making it ideal for marine and wet environments.
Galvanized Steel: Provides a balance of strength, affordability, and corrosion resistance, suitable for general-purpose applications.

A comparative analysis highlights the strengths and weaknesses of each type, along with their specific application areas.

Coating for Enhanced Durability and Performance

Coatings play a vital role in protecting steel wire ropes from wear and tear. We explore:

Vinyl Coating: Protects against abrasion and enhances grip.
Zinc Coating: Provides basic corrosion resistance.
Other Coating Variants: Specialized coatings cater to specific environments like high temperatures or chemical exposure.

This section analyzes market preferences for various coatings and discusses emerging trends in this area.

Industry-Specific Insights: Tailoring Solutions to Needs

The blog dives into the application landscape, exploring the role of steel wire ropes in diverse sectors, including:

Construction: Lifting, suspension, and tethering.
Mining: Material hoisting and underground support.
Marine: Mooring, anchoring, and towing.
Aerospace: Control cables and critical lifting applications.
Automotive: Towing and cable systems.
Other Applications: Logging, elevators, and infrastructure maintenance.

By analyzing market dynamics across these applications, readers gain a comprehensive understanding of how the steel wire rope market caters to specific industry needs.

A Global Landscape: Regional Variations in Demand

Understanding geographical variations is crucial. The blog explores key regions:

North America: A mature market with steady growth driven by infrastructure development.
Europe: Stringent regulations and focus on safety drive demand for high-quality wire ropes.
Asia Pacific: Rapid infrastructure development in this region fuels the market growth.
Latin America: Growing industrialization presents opportunities for market expansion.
Middle East & Africa: Increasing investments in oil & gas and construction sectors drive demand.

Identifying key trends and market opportunities in each region allows stakeholders to tailor their strategies accordingly.

The Competitive Arena: Key Players and Strategies

The blog sheds light on the competitive landscape, outlining:

Market Leaders: Established players with strong brand recognition and global reach.
Emerging Players: Innovative companies focusing on niche markets or specialized products.
Strategic Initiatives and Partnerships: Collaborations, mergers & acquisitions, and technological advancements shaping market dynamics.
Future Outlook for Competition: Anticipated trends in the competitive landscape, including potential new entrants and consolidation.

The Final Chapter: Key Insights and Recommendations

The conclusion summarizes the blog's key takeaways:

Recap of Key Insights: Reiterates the major points covered, including market size, growth projections, and critical factors influencing the market.
Implications for Industry Participants: Emphasizes the importance of understanding market dynamics for businesses to make informed decisions regarding product development, marketing strategies, and geographical expansion.
Future Directions and Recommendations: Discusses potential future trends and recommends actions for industry players to adapt and thrive in the evolving steel wire rope market landscape.

Have you ever woken up in the morning only to realize that getting dressed felt like a Herculean task? Or perhaps you've experienced a lingering ache in your chest that doesn't seem to dissipate no matter what you do. These physical manifestations might not be due to the flu or a pulled muscle. Instead, they could be the subtle whispers of grief, a complex emotion that doesn't just affect your mind and heart but can also take a toll on your body.
Value Proposition: In this article, we embark on a journey to unravel the intricate connection between grief and its physical effects on the body. From the pounding headaches to the exhaustion that seems to seep into your bones, we'll explore the science behind these symptoms and provide you with valuable insights to navigate them. By understanding how grief impacts your body, you'll be better equipped to cope with its challenges and find solace amidst the storm.
Engagement Questions: Have you ever experienced physical symptoms that you later realized were linked to your grief? How do you usually cope with these symptoms when they arise?
Body:
The Science Behind Grief's Grip on the Body
Grief is more than just an emotional response to loss; it's a physiological phenomenon that can wreak havoc on your body. When you experience grief, your brain undergoes a series of complex changes, triggering a cascade of hormones and neurotransmitters that can affect various systems within your body.
One of the most notable effects of grief is its impact on the immune system. Research has shown that individuals grieving the loss of a loved one often experience a weakened immune response, making them more susceptible to illnesses such as colds and flu. Additionally, chronic grief can lead to inflammation in the body, which has been linked to a host of health problems, including cardiovascular disease and autoimmune disorders. Grief is a profound human experience that extends far beyond emotion. It's a journey that touches every aspect of our being, including our physical health. When we lose someone dear to us, whether through death, separation, or other forms of loss, our bodies respond in ways that often go unnoticed but can have significant implications for our well-being.
At the heart of grief's impact on the body lies a complex interplay of biological processes orchestrated by the brain. When we experience loss, our brain perceives it as threatening our well-being, triggering a stress response that sets off a cascade of physiological changes. This stress response activates the sympathetic nervous system, releasing stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline.
Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to stress hormones can harm the immune system. Research published in Psychosomatic Medicine found that individuals experiencing chronic grief had lower immune cells, such as natural killer cells, which play a crucial role in defending the body against infections and tumors. This weakened immune response leaves grieving individuals more vulnerable to illnesses such as colds, flu, and other infections.
Moreover, grief-induced stress can also contribute to inflammation in the body. Inflammation is the body's natural response to injury or infection. Still, when it becomes chronic, it can lead to a host of health problems, including cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and autoimmune disorders. A study published in Biological Psychiatry demonstrated that individuals experiencing prolonged grief showed increased inflammatory markers, such as C-reactive protein, in their bloodstream.
But the impact of grief on the body doesn't stop there. The stress of grieving can also manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and gastrointestinal disturbances. These symptoms are often overlooked or attributed to other causes, but they can be a direct result of the body's physiological response to grief.
Understanding the science behind grief's grip on the body is crucial for developing strategies to cope with its physical effects. While grief is an inevitable part of the human experience, there are steps we can take to support our bodies through the healing process.
Prioritizing self-care is essential for managing the physical toll of grief. This includes getting adequate rest, eating nourishing foods, and exercising regularly. Studies have shown that exercise can help reduce stress hormones and promote the release of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters.
Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can also provide a crucial lifeline during grief. Talking about your feelings and experiences can help alleviate stress and promote emotional healing, positively affecting your physical health.
Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, into your daily routine can also help reduce stress and promote relaxation. Research published in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine found that mindfulness meditation can reduce inflammation in the body, highlighting its potential benefits for managing grief-related inflammation.
Ultimately, navigating the physical effects of grief requires a holistic approach that addresses both the emotional and physiological dimensions of the experience. By understanding the science behind grief's grip on the body and implementing strategies to support our physical health, we can honor our journey of healing with compassion and resilience.
Navigating the Physical Terrain of Grief
So, how can you navigate through the physical terrain of grief? While there's no one-size-fits-all solution, there are several strategies you can employ to help alleviate the physical symptoms associated with grief.
Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that nourish your body and soul. Whether taking a warm bath, going for a leisurely walk in nature, or indulging in a favorite hobby, find solace amidst the chaos. Prioritize Sleep: Grief can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or restless nights. Prioritize sleep by creating a relaxing bedtime routine and a conducive sleep environment. Limit screen time before bed and try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation to promote restful sleep.
Stay Active: Exercise is beneficial for your physical health and can also serve as a powerful tool for managing grief. Engage in activities you enjoy, whether it's yoga, dancing, or jogging. Exercise releases endorphins, which can help elevate your mood and alleviate stress. Seek Support: During grief, don’t avoid leaning on your support network. Contact friends, family members, or a therapist who can listen and offer guidance. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can provide comfort and validation. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you stay grounded and present amid grief. Take moments throughout the day to pause and check in with yourself. Notice any physical sensations you may be experiencing and allow yourself to acknowledge and process them without judgment.
Wrap-Up: Grief is a multifaceted journey that encompasses both emotional and physical dimensions. By understanding the profound impact grief can have on your body, you can take proactive steps to care for yourself and navigate through its challenges with grace and resilience. Remember to prioritize self-care, seek support when needed, and honor your body's needs as you heal. Grief is not a linear path but a multifaceted journey, weaving through the intricate tapestry of our emotions and physical being. It's a terrain marked by peaks of profound sorrow and valleys of quiet reflection, each step leaving an imprint on our minds, bodies, and spirits. Understanding the profound impact grief can have on your body is essential for embarking on a journey of healing and restoration. When grief takes hold, it doesn't discriminate—it permeates every cell, triggering a cascade of physiological responses that can leave you feeling depleted and overwhelmed. From the heavyweight that settles in your chest to the restless nights haunted by memories of what once was, grief manifests in myriad ways, reminding us of our shared humanity.
However, amidst the turmoil, there is solace in knowing that you hold the power to navigate through the storm with grace and resilience. By prioritizing self-care, you can tend to your body's needs and nurture your spirit back to wholeness. Take time to listen to your body's cues, honoring its need for rest, nourishment, and gentle movement. Whether indulging in a soothing bath, savoring a nourishing meal, or a leisurely stroll in nature, find solace that replenishes your soul and energy stores.
Seeking support is another crucial aspect of healing from grief. Lean on your support network—friends, family, or a therapist—who can provide a listening ear and a compassionate heart. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others alleviates the burden of grief and fosters a sense of connection and belonging that is essential for healing. Remember, you are not alone in your journey; there is strength in vulnerability and community.
As you traverse the terrain of grief, honor your body's needs with compassion and kindness. Allow yourself to grieve in your own time and in your own way, trusting that healing is a gradual process that unfolds at its own pace. Be gentle with yourself, and extend the same grace to others on their own healing journey. Together, we can navigate through the storm of grief, emerging on the other side with hearts full of love and resilience.
Call to Action: As you embark on your healing journey, remember you're not alone. Take a moment to reflect on the strategies discussed in this article and identify one small step you can take today to prioritize your physical well-being amidst grief. Whether scheduling a massage, reaching out to a friend for support, or taking a few deep breaths, honor yourself and your journey with compassion and kindness.
Prayer
Gracious and Merciful God,
In this moment of solemn reflection, we lift our hearts to you, seeking your divine presence to comfort and heal those who are grieving in mind, body, and spirit. We come before you with hearts heavy with sorrow, knowing you are the source of all consolation and strength.
Lord, we pray for those who are mourning the loss of loved ones, feeling the ache of absence deep within their souls. Wrap them in your loving embrace, O God, and soothe their wounded hearts with the balm of your unfailing love. Grant them the courage to face each new day with hope, knowing that you are with them, guiding them through the darkness into the light.
We lift up to you those who are experiencing the physical toll of grief, their bodies weary from the weight of sorrow. Heal their wounds, O Lord, and restore their strength and vitality. Pour your healing grace upon them, touching every ache and pain with your gentle touch. Grant them the resilience to endure, knowing you are the Great Physician who heals all our afflictions.
Lord, we also pray for the wounded spirits of those grieving, their souls burdened with grief and despair. Bring them peace, O God, that surpasses all understanding, filling their hearts with your eternal love and grace. Lift the veil of darkness from their eyes so they may see your presence's light shining brightly within them.
In your infinite compassion, O God, hear our prayer and grant healing to all grieving in mind, body, and spirit. May your comforting presence surround them like a warm embrace, offering solace in their time of need. May they find strength and courage in knowing that you are always with them, guiding them through the valley of the shadow of death into the glorious light of your eternal kingdom.
We ask all this in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, who conquered death and rose again, that we may have eternal life. Amen.

Tapas Part 3 - Bliss Upon Bliss

Recap
Part 1 covered the concept of tapas, or spiritual austerities, and how you can use tapas to magnify and enhance the sexual energy created through semen retention into tejas, an "inner radiance, fearlessness, majesty, and authority".
It also covered the concept of syntropy, which is how a system is able to conserve, increase and synchronize energy within itself, which is the reason why you get so many benefits from semen retention. Yoga, meditation and tapas all increase syntropy as well.
You can find Part 1 here.
Part 2 detailed how to use tapas to overcome craving, both for the urge to masturbate and for all cravings in general. It detailed some of the science behind why yoga and breathing exercises are just about the most syntropic things you could ever possibly do, by regulating both the endocrine and nervous systems, and activating and clearing out your energy body, called the pranamaya kosha in yoga. Then I introduced some new yogic techniques to introduce more prana and tejas into the system.
You can find Part 2 here.
In this post, we will cover :

A quick section on "limbic friction";
How to make good use of the power of resolves, or "strong determinations", in order to boost confidence in yourself, to become the one person you can always count on, and to strategically release dopamine and testosterone in order to rewire your brain to be oriented towards resilience and success;
Why proper meditation is even more syntropic than the postures and breathing exercises of yoga;
The process by which meditation purifies the nervous system/mind/consciousness;
How deep states of meditation, known as jhanas, create the highest level of syntropy within the body-mind system, as well as unbelievable amounts of bliss;
The relationship between the energy gained from semen retention, the bliss and syntropy of jhana, and how the two relate to tantric sex.

Part 4 will cover :

How tapas trains circuits within a primitive part of the brain, which, when strengthened, allow you to have built-in, automatic discipline;
The importance of disciplining oneself with ethics, how it benefits your semen retention practice, and how it is both foundational to success in meditation, as well as a powerful form of tapas;
A type of meditation on fire itself that quickly builds powerful levels of concentration and can even lead to some trippy experiences. And of course, it greatly increases syntropy and tejas.

Giddy up!

Limbic Friction

Tapas will take your semen retention practice, as well as the rest of your life, to entirely new heights. Tapas involves overcoming limbic friction - the uncomfortable feeling your nervous system creates to try to convince you to stay in your hazy comfort zone, to avoid doing the difficult things.
You know, the things that will allow you to grow.
Limbic friction will also pop up when you try to not indulge in the thing you’re craving.
Limbic friction just keeps you trapped in your tidy little box of comfort. While it may be comfortable and familiar, no real growth can occur inside this box.
Everything you’ve ever dreamed of is on the other side of fear and discomfort.
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult." - Seneca
The goal of tapas is to simply feel that limbic friction, to fully accept it, and then proceed ahead anyway. That’s it.

Gain Confidence and Boost Testosterone with Resolves

While we’re on the topic of pushing ourselves, let’s discuss the power of making resolves. In the 3rd post of the series on overcoming craving, Becoming a King with Equanimity, we discussed how they make great use of “strong determination sits” in Goenka-style meditation retreats.
This simply means that when you sit for meditation, you make a vow to sit perfectly still for the entire hour of your meditation session - you can’t move your hands, your feet, or open your eyes once the sit begins.
Not only does this up the level of discomfort, forcing you to either develop equanimity or die trying, it also increases your confidence in yourself. You say you’re going to do something tough and you prove to yourself that you can do it.
Strong determination sitting is a powerful practice, but the real point is making a resolve to do something difficult and then sticking to it no matter what.
This practice is called adhitthana, and it is one of the Ten Perfections of Theravadan Buddhism that a person aspiring to awaken must master in order to bring about awakening.
For a beginner meditator, the resolve should be only be to sit every day, with out fail - even if it's just ten minutes.
It’s easy to see why this practice goes hand in hand with tapas. Let's say you are a beginner meditator, and you make a resolve or "strong determination" to sit every single day, for at least ten minutes. For someone who has never meditated, that's actually a pretty tough thing to stick to.
But then, one fine spring Friday afternoon, you meet up with your buddy and grab a couple of beers (or insert whatever your temptation is). You get home and look at your meditation cushion and even ten minutes seems like too much.
This is your mind being a little bitch!
But you're a retainer practicing tapas, and having made this strong determination to sit for ten minutes every night means there is no backing out. To back out is to admit defeat, to let yourself down, and to prove to yourself how unreliable you are.
Barring utter catastrophe, you will do your evening ten minute sit.
So you sit, and even though the meditation drags on and on because you’ve had a couple, you make it through and viola - a big check is deposited in your “confidence and dependability” account.
Making resolutions and sticking to them is a powerful method to make progress fast, not just with your semen retention/yoga/meditation practice, but in life in general.
In a world of uncertainty, when people seem to get more and more flaky and unreliable, be the one person who you can always depend on.
It’s a promise you must keep in order for it to pay off, otherwise you’re just reinforcing the habit that it's ok for your mind to take the easy way out.
Start with small resolutions, resolutions you know you can hold yourself to. You want to set up a positive feedback loop of winning. These successive small wins lead to more wins, as each win increases dopamine and testosterone - a phenomena known as The Winner Effect.

Scientists have found that when we win something, regardless of how small, the brain releases dopamine and testosterone, chemicals associated with confidence, attention, and mood. Interestingly, studies have shown that the brain can rewire itself for success over time.

It's a match against yourself - who will win? Your old lazy self, or the new and improved self?
Strong Determinations in Practice
Once you’ve proven to yourself you can rely on yourself, slowly start upping the ante. Don't try to jump immediately from a slovenly wimp to the Olympic-level athlete of austerities or meditation, because you’ll simply fail - and that's proving to yourself you aren't dependable.
And remember, you can make resolutions with anything, not just yoga and meditation:

Resolve to not look at your phone for the next hour;
Or to not get on Reddit at all tomorrow;
Or to take weekends off of Discord;
Or resolve to clean your entire room, top to bottom, in one stretch.

Or how about actually starting your workout routine and sticking to it? Or resolve to give up whatever your crutch is, and actually follow through this time? The smart man would be sure to build up with some smaller wins before you try to drop your big crutch.
The goal is simply to stick to your resolutions!
Start off making them small and manageable.
Each time you stick to your resolution will be a win, dopamine and testosterone will be released, and overtime this will rewire your brain towards badassery. Your confidence and strength will grow and grow. Only when there is no more limbic friction from the original resolution do you add another or increase the intensity of the original resolution.
Prove to yourself that you are dependable and watch your confidence skyrocket. I've included a video at the end of this post talking about the benefits of strong determination and resolves as they relate to meditation, but remember - these resolves can benefit you in regards to any behavior.
The late and great Anthony Bourdain

Meditation for Tejas

As we covered in Part 2, yoga, with its postures, breathing exercises, and energetic locks and seals, is easily the fastest and almost the most effective manner of increasing tejas.
What about meditation? Well, let's all be honest, for most beginners, meditation is a bitch. It's difficult to sit down, stop the constant doing, disengage from all that thinking in your mind and focus on one object to the exclusion of all others.
But once you're good at meditating, it is perhaps the most syntropic thing you can possibly do. Stilling the mind is the epitome of conserving energy - your body isn't moving and now, even your mind has reached stillness.
And once you get really good at meditation, a positive feedback loop occurs in the mind, magnifying energy in the body-mind system many times over - so much so that it starts producing an intense bodily bliss and mental happiness, respectively called piti and sukha.
When piti (rapture) and sukha (joy, mental bliss) start arising, you can be sure that you're on the precipice of what is known as jhanas in Buddhism, and dhyana/samadhi in yoga. These are meditative absorptions that are extremely purifying and endlessly praised by the Buddha, not only as one of the proper ways to meditate, but as the one and only type of pleasure to actively seek out.
And believe it or not, the pleasure of jhana can exceed even the pleasure of sex, and can last much, much longer.
You know how people with anxiety get stuck in a loop of rumination that just magnifies their anxiety? Jhanas are the opposite of this anxiety loop.

"Anxiety can capture attention, which can lead to more anxiety, which can capture more attention, and so on, leading to a physiological response (e.g. heart rate changes, sweating, in the extreme case a panic attack). Jhana meditators create a similar positive feedback loop between attention and pleasure." Jhourney - These are guys who led the metta retreat where I was first able to achieve jhanas

Once you can get to this level in your sits, then some real juice is added to your meditation, and tejas will start overflowing.
Thy cup will runneth over, as they say.
And as we'll see in an eventual post in the Craving Series, once you get to the point of reliably reaching jhanas, you can say bye bye to pretty much any and all cravings. Why? Because why would you want to masturbate, getting only 5-10 minutes of pleasure, when you can sit down and hang out in a much more pleasurable jhana for 20 minutes to 2 hours?
And that pleasure, ease and joy follows you around the rest of the day, coloring everything you do. It's difficult to crave when you're already deeply satisfied.

Purificatory Fire of Meditation

But that leaves us with the problem of getting good enough at meditation to achieve those states of bliss, and now that I've mentioned how amazing some of these higher states of meditation can be, I may have inadvertently caused you to crave them.
And you cannot reach jhana from a place of craving. In fact, jhanas are all about letting go. More on that in the Craving Series.
However, worry not! Just beginning on the path of meditation starts working wonders for the purificatory process, no matter how "bad" you may be at it.
Recall how in Tapas Pt 2, I mentioned how effective yoga asanas and pranayama are at cleaning out the gunk and detritus from the nervous system/mind/energy body?
Meditation does the exact same thing, even if you think you're doing it poorly.
So, as a beginner or someone who thinks they "can't meditate", understand that each time you sit down and do metta, or focus on the breath, or do vipassana, or recite a mantra, or whatever, even if you think you aren't meditating well, as long as you know your technique is proper, you're doing great, and it's having quite the purifying effect on the brain/mind/nervous system.
Recall in the previous post how I mentioned that once the gunk is cleared from the system, that it is like living life as a child again? Perceptions become crisp and clear, wonder and joy are always right around the corner, and things become "feather light and paper thin" - meaning things feel less solid, and more vibrant, vibratory, alive.

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern.” - William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Here are a few key quotes from one of my favorite books on meditation, The Science of Enlightenment : How Meditation Works by Shinzen Young. I highly recommend this book, especially for science-oriented types. The "fixating forces" he mentions in the following quote are our deeply ingrained habit patterns of chasing after the pleasant and running from the unpleasant (tanha, craving) and the word kleshas refers to the three defilements#Three_poisons) of craving, aversion and ignorance.

"So if, as many believe, we really are imbedded in spiritual reality, why don't we see it? Why isn't every vision beatific? It's because of fixating forces deep down in the subconscious. And our job, according to a plethora of self-help paradigms, is to become free from these forces.
"In the Buddhist, Hindu, and Abrahamic contemplative traditions, the process of becoming free of those limiting forces is sometimes referred to as purification (vishuddhi in Sanskrit; catharsis in Greek). Purification could be described as the process that breaks this material up, digests it, metabolizes it, and (pardon the metaphor) excretes it. Purification is what it 'tastes like' as we are getting free from those limiting grooves. It's a sort of immediate reward. You sense that the limitations of the past are being metabolized and a bright future is being created because of the way you're experiencing a certain something in the present. Once you learn the taste of purification, your growth goes exponential. The ability to taste purification is the sign of a mature spiritual palate.
"From a Buddhist perspective, that old material gets worked through by pouring clarity (mindfulness) and equanimity into the experience of the moment. That clarity and equanimity percolate down into the subconscious and give the subconscious what it needs to resolve/dissolve its issues."
"Through meditation, we smelt away the kleshas (craving, aversion, ignorance). We refine the ore, and we are left with what always was - the pure gold of consciousness."

So three important notes to end on

If you're new to meditation, or even if you've had a practice, realize that there are no bad sits! If your mind wanders 100 times in 10 minutes of meditating, and you brought your mind back to its object 101 times, that means you've done 101 "reps". That is a successful sit!
Do not crave results! Just focus on the right inputs, and eventually the right outputs appear on their own. The right inputs here being that you sit consistently and with proper technique, in a relaxed and un-expectant manner. Focus on the inputs, the results will come.
That sense of struggle that you must overcome to sit on the cushion, plus the subtle (or not so subtle) struggle while you're actually meditating is the taste of purification! That feeling is the feeling of tapas itself! You may not enjoy the feeling (yet), but you can at least know that you're engaging with powerful, purificatory tapas each and every time you sit. Even more so if you start using resolves.

That feeling of resistance is none other than our friend limbic friction. When you feel that limbic friction pop up, and then you do the thing anyway, remember - that's gunk being burned out of the system!

Jhanas, Orgasms, and Tantric Sex

Now, there will be an upcoming post in the Craving Series that will be a deep dive on the style of meditation that produces this bliss and happiness.
If you guys are interested, I made a recent post on metta meditation, which is arguably the easiest way to get into these states. While I think the whole thing is worth reading, feel free to skip to the end for instructions. This was the style of meditation that finally allowed me to begin accessing these states of absorption and bliss, after 13 years of trying to do so.
On the other hand, feel free to skip my post entirely and head straight to one of the links I've included at the end of this post for guided metta meditations.
Metta is a fantastic method for jhana because the feeling of loving-kindness itself is inherently pleasant. Because it is pleasant, your mind will focus easily upon it; because your mind focuses easily upon the pleasant sensation, the pleasantness grows; the mind is able to concentrate more easily upon this increased pleasantness, which then causes the pleasantness to grow even more, on and on and on, until bodily bliss (piti) and mental joy (sukha) start arising and you're blasted into the first jhana.
The Joy of Jhana
What does "being blasted in the first jhana by bodily bliss and mental joy" feel like?
Well, the best way to describe jhana is somewhere between an extended orgasm and being on the love drug MDMA/ecstasy.
"Hold up - that sounds like it would be debilitating to all this energy we've been cultivating... Surely there will be devastating consequences to our semen retention practice, right?"
Orgasms drain you of energy, not just due to the release of prolactin which lowers dopamine and testosterone, but also because of the effect on your nervous system. As you get more and more sexually aroused, energy builds up in your nervous system. Once your nervous system can no longer handle the energy and stimulation, you orgasm, at which point prolactin is dumped into the body and the nervous system starts shaking off all the energy that has accumulated inside.
Toes curl in, eyes roll into the back of the head, and your nerves fire like off like its the Fourth of July, right? You get hormonal dampening, and a good portion of the energy you've been building up and conserving through semen retention, wise use of energy, tapas, yoga, pranayama and meditation gets literally shivered away and shook off.
Jhanas, on the other hand, allow for a very slow build up of energy within the nervous system, (one that doesn't involve your Johnson), but instead of that build up resulting in a big explosion of energy that the nervous system shakes off, it is all contained within and sustained for long periods of time!
This pleasure, which is simply a build up of energy, is extremely purifying to the entire system.
And when the jhana is over, you're left feeling invigorated and refreshed, not drained and depleted, because your nervous system remains supercharged with energy and bliss. Not only will you be radiating good vibes everywhere, but you will be supercharged with our friend tejas, that "inner radiance, fearlessness, majesty, and authority".
The Tantric Sex Connection
This is also one reason why tantric sex is such a powerful adjunct to semen retention. In tantric sex, you build up energy within the nervous system and don't release it - but in this case, the energy comes from sex, not from meditation.
And all of this is even more reason to have a strong yoga practice, because it is only through yoga (or qi gong/tai chi) that you begin to slowly build up prana within yourself, training your nervous system and pranamaya kosha to be able to handle higher and higher amounts of energy.
Through yoga, you also purify the channels, called nadis, through which this energy flows, as well as the chakras, the "power transformers" of the energy body.
If these aren't purfied and opened up, the energy will remain stuck and unable to participate in the feedback loop of jhana, nor of tantric sex. This is a major reason why guys are unable to make it very long with retention - their bodies can't handle the build up of sexual energy, so it seeks release and homestasis the only way it knows how - through orgasm.
Again, I refer you to Can You Handle the Power? if you'd like to read more about the concept of being able to handle more and more energy.
Better yet, skip the reading and get to practicing.

Resources

A quick note on guided metta meditations - you kind of have to shop around to find one you really enjoy. There are many different ways of doing metta, and when you multiply that by the way some teachers sound, whether there is music or not, and the quality of recording, well... Some are hits, some are huge misses.
My recommendation is to find one you like and either stick to it, or better yet, simply do the meditation yourself.
A 30 Day guest pass to the Waking Up app - Amazing resource with 3 different metta modules under the "Practice" tab - Compassionate Awareness is one module, Metta (loving-kindness) is another, and Metta for Everyone.
Shinzen Young on Strong Determination Sits
18 Minute Metta Meditation with Samaneri Jayasara - My favorite of the guided meditations here. She is a fantastic resource, and she has plenty of readings and guided meditations on her Youtube.
35 Minute Metta Meditation with Jayasara - I did not check this video out, so if it isn't great, well..
23 Minute Tonglen Meditation by Tara Brach - Tonglen comes to us from the Tibetan Buddhists, and combines metta with compassion.
14 Minute Guided Metta Meditation with Ayya Khema - This one is interesting.
Rob Burbea Metta Retreat - These are the recordings of a metta meditation retreat led by Rob Burbea, a phenomenal teacher. These include some theory and are all longer sits though - great for strong determination sits!
A great 3 month course for the seriously-inclined beginner meditator, with a section on metta.
A great interview with the guy I learned jhanas from, describing their benefits.

Episode Link YouTube Link
Episode Description:
What compels someone to court the extreme edges of human experience? For some, dancing with polarities serves as a consummate teacher—an unconventional path toward profound insight.
Pushing boundaries can reveal the value of stability, the beauty inherent in balance, and illuminate the small blessings that flourish at the center.
My guest today is actor and spiritual seeker Orlando Bloom, best known for his performances in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Pirates of the Caribbean series. The Hollywood actor and global star may have achieved massive fame and success, but he continues to push himself to the outermost limits of self-discovery and inner exploration.
In his new Peacock series, To the Edge, Orlando immerses himself in three extreme challenges: wingsuiting, free diving, and adaptive rock climbing. More than a thrill-seeking adventure, the new series strips away the Hollywood facade to expose his struggles, existential questions, and wisdom—opening up about issues like control, ego, love addiction, and inherited negative patterns.
Grounded in his longtime Buddhist practice, he treats each feat as an opportunity for spiritual awakening. From scaling intimidating rock faces and plunging into the ocean’s depths on a single breath to somersaulting through the sky in a wingsuit, he courts discomfort as a pathway to growth.
This impulse to constantly evolve permeates all aspects of Orlando’s life. At the heart of his journey lies a yearning to peel back layers of delusion, destructive patterns, and false identities.
Whether delving into past-life experiences or simply being present amid life-or-death scenarios, his ultimate quest is to shed all pretense in pursuit of his most authentic self.
Today, we discuss the parallels between extreme sports and life’s journey. Orlando shares insights on trust, preparation, and the delicate balance between discipline and surrender. From his experiences in extreme sports to navigating fame, personal growth, the influence of his mother, and humanitarian work with UNICEF, Orlando imparts wisdom on compassion, forgiveness, and accessing one’s best self.
We also talk about the evolution of his relationships, the future of art and storytelling, the importance of discipline in a world of distractions, his dedication to his craft, and more.
Throughout our conversation, themes of gratitude, appreciation, and embracing life’s edges recur, offering profound lessons for each of us to apply to our lives.

DAY: DAY: MAY 11, 2024

5-11-2024WHY DANCING IN SYNC BRINGS US CLOSER TOGETHER Silent discos started back in the 1970s as a convenient way to get around noise restrictions. In those days that meant everyone bringing their own music loaded onto a Walkman. Later, DJs would set up their own radio channels to allow everyone to listen to the same playlist. These events gained popularity in the early 2000s, when music festivals began to host silent gigs with lots of artists streaming on different channels. At a regular disco or nightclub, everybody experiences dancing together in time to the same music.
5-11-2024HOW DO EMOTIONS HELP CONSTRUCT OUR CULTURAL IDENTITY IN MUSIC FESTIVALS? 2022 was a record year for music festivals in Spain, hitting historic highs just two years after the entire country was locked down due to the pandemic. Spain boasts close to a thousand music festivals and a live music industry that earned 459 million euros in ticket revenue alone in 2022. This is almost 200% more than the previous year,
5-11-2024WHY DO METAPHORS OF SPACE HELP US UNDERSTAND TIME? Space-time projections, ego-moving perspective. Expressions linking space to time are a common part of our day to day lives. You might say the morning “flew by,” or that school exams are “fast approaching.” Right now, you might say summer is “just around the corner,” while anyone with the vaguest awareness of Game of Thrones will have heard the phrase “winter is coming.”
5-11-2024THERE ARE NO GOOD OR BAD OIL CROPS, ONLY GOOD AND BAD PRACTICES There are no good or bad oil crops. Credit: Borneo Futures When shopping, have you considered the social and environmental impacts of your vegetable oil purchases? Most products offer limited information on these effects. Labels like “No Palm Oil”—linked to environmental damage and threats to orangutans—or “Fair-trade” are familiar, but many ingredients go unmentioned. How reliable are these claims, and what unseen impacts are we responsible for with our choices?
5-11-2024ART-BASED APPROACHES CAN ENCOURAGE FRESH PERSPECTIVES ON THE FUTURE Art can contribute to futures thinking in various ways, such as inspiring alternative futures through mediums like science fiction in films and literature, encapsulating future scenarios through artistic illustrations, and posing thought-provoking questions that challenge our perceptions and understanding of the future. As a multidisciplinary field, futures research borrows approaches from different disciplines. However, it often ignores the potential of the arts on a large scale, even though the arts embrace creativity and often depict and narrate imagined futures.
5-11-2024‘DOING YOUR OWN RESEARCH’ CAN MAKE FAKE NEWS SEEM BELIEVABLE While it’s healthy to question what we see and hear in the media, those quick internet searches to fact-check news stories can unexpectedly backfire and lead people to believe false stories, according to the director of the University of Oregon’s undergraduate journalism program. As more people tune into the press for the upcoming election cycle
5-11-2024CONTRADICTORY THOUGHTS LEAD TO MORE MODERATE ATTITUDES, PSYCHOLOGISTS FIND Researchers present rhetorical tools that can help to reduce the polarization of discussions. When discussing controversial issues such as migration or measures against global warming, strongly opposing positions often clash and discussions become emotional. The polarization that can be found here is primarily driven by people with extreme attitudes.
5-11-2024CAN SCIENCE EXPLAIN WHY COUPLES BREAK UP? THE MATHEMATICAL ANATOMY OF A FALL French director Justine Triet’s “Anatomy of a Fall,” winner of the 2023 Oscar for best original script, reconstructs a fatal fall in order to dissect the collapse of the romantic relationship between the film’s leading couple, Sandra Voyter and Samuel Maleski. Far from an exception, breakups of the sort depicted in the film are commonplace: global data shows high levels of marriage failure, with a marked increase towards the end of the last century.
5-11-2024WHEN CHOOSING CO-FOUNDERS, ENTREPRENEURS HAVE A GENDER GAP One of the most important decisions an entrepreneur can make when launching a business is choosing the right co-founder. Should compatible personalities guide the choice? Or should the priority be someone who brings resources to the startup? How do entrepreneurs make this decision if they must choose between these two options? New research from Texas McCombs finds there’s a gender gap in making this choice.
5-11-2024COMPASSION DOESN’T HELP ALL COUPLES, FINDS STUDY More compassion = a better relationship. This is an obvious rule of thumb for couples. But it doesn’t apply to everyone, as a study shows. Some people prefer to do without it. Whether irrevocably estranged or merely bored with the daily routine: “Couples counseling can improve communication and the quality of the relationship. And it has a positive effect on mental health
5-11-2024WOMEN IN RICH COUNTRIES ARE HAVING FEWER KIDS, OR NONE AT ALL. WHAT’S GOING ON? A recent report from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows US fertility rates dropped 2% in 2023. With the exception of a temporary increase in the fertility rate at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, the US fertility rate has been falling steadily since 1971. Australia exhibits a similar pattern. Fertility has declined since 2007 despite government attempts to invest in a “baby bonus” to encourage women to have more children. Taking a more global perspective, we can see similar patterns across other industrial nations: Japan,
5-11-2024RESEARCHERS DEVELOP NEW AI TOOL FOR FAST AND PRECISE TISSUE ANALYSIS TO SUPPORT DRUG DISCOVERY AND DIAGNOSTICS A team of scientists from A*STAR’s Genome Institute of Singapore (GIS) and Bioinformatics Institute (BII) has developed a new AI software tool called “BANKSY” that automatically recognizes the cell types present in a tissue, such as muscle cells, nerve cells, and fat cells. Going a step beyond conventional AI tools, which can group cells together into clusters if they contain similar molecules
5-11-2024STUDY SHEDS LIGHT ON CANCER CELL ‘TUG-OF-WAR’ Two malignant mixed mullerian tumor explants on collagen network. Both tumor pieces adhered to the collagen network and started pulling on the collagen fibers, which prompted extensive collagen displacements and alignments, alongside cell escape of cells with a dominant stress fiber-based contractility. The sharp and smooth boundary structure of both pieces further indicates a strong tissue surface tension that hinders cell escape for cells with a dominant cortical contractility.
5-11-2024STUDY UNDERSCORES NEW STRATEGIES TO FIGHT DRUG-RESISTANT BACTERIA
5-11-2024BIG DATA HELPS DETERMINE WHAT DRIVES DISEASE RISK
5-11-2024NEW STUDY POINTS TO STOCHASTIC CHANGES IN CELLS
5-11-2024CHANGES IN PIG FARMING IN THE 20TH CENTURY SPREAD ANTIBIOTIC-RESISTANT SALMONELLA AROUND THE WORLD, FINDS STUDY
5-11-2024HOW CLIMATE CHANGE WILL AFFECT MALARIA TRANSMISSION
5-11-2024TEAM DEVELOPS TECHNOLOGY FOR PRODUCING BIOPLASTICS FROM AGRICULTURAL AND FOOD BYPRODUCTS
5-11-2024STUDY DISCOVERS CELLULAR ACTIVITY THAT HINTS RECYCLING IS IN OUR DNA
5-11-2024WANT TO SHOW TEACHERS APPRECIATION? THIS TOP SCHOOL GIVES THEM MORE FREEDOM
5-11-2024HOW LIKELY ARE ENGLISH LEARNERS TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL? STUDY SHOWS IT DEPENDS ON RACE, GENDER AND INCOME
5-11-2024SELF-CRITICAL PERFECTIONISM GNAWS ON STUDENTS’ WELL-BEING ALREADY IN LOWER SECONDARY SCHOOL, SAYS STUDY
5-11-2024STUDY EXPLORES WHETHER PSYCHOLOGICAL CAPITAL WILL HELP WITH WORK ENGAGEMENT IN TOUGH MOMENTS
5-11-2024NON-GOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATIONS RAISE CONCERNS ABOUT CHILD ABUSE REPORTING
5-11-2024EXPELLING STUDENTS FOR BAD BEHAVIOR SEEMS LIKE THE OBVIOUS SOLUTION, BUT IS IT REALLY A GOOD IDEA?
5-11-2024RESEARCHER ANALYZES 3,356 SIGNS TO SEE HOW LANGUAGE USE IS CHANGING IN THREE LATINO NEIGHBORHOODS IN PHILLY
5-11-2024WHO ARE THE IMMIGRANTS COMING TO THE US ON HUMANITARIAN GROUNDS, AND HOW CAN THEY BE SUPPORTED?
5-11-2024STUDY SHOWS FEMALE GAMERS ONLY LABEL HALF OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT INCIDENTS THEY EXPERIENCE AS SUCH
5-11-2024RISING KNIFE CRIME IN LONDON IS LINKED TO AUSTERITY CUTS TO YOUTH SERVICES—HERE’S THE EVIDENCE
5-11-2024USING AI TO PREDICT GRADE POINT AVERAGE FROM COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAYS
5-11-2024DISADVANTAGED ENTREPRENEURS OFTEN FEAR SUCCESS, BUT NEW RESEARCH CAN HELP
5-11-2024FEW TENURE-TRACK JOBS FOR ENGINEERING PH.D.S, STUDY FINDS
5-11-2024RESEARCHERS SEARCH FOR SOLUTIONS TO CONSTRUCT A COMPREHENSIVE WORKFORCE
5-11-2024HOW TO TELL IF A CONSPIRACY THEORY IS PROBABLY FALSE
5-11-2024AN ANALYSIS OF SECURITY IN RELATION TO THE VALUES OF WELL-BEING, FREEDOM AND EQUALITY
5-11-2024CONSUMERS REPORT SIGNIFICANT RISE IN DIET SATISFACTION SINCE JANUARY
5-11-2024THE SPREAD OF MISINFORMATION VARIES BY TOPIC AND BY COUNTRY IN EUROPE, STUDY FINDS
5-11-2024I INTERVIEWED MOMS WITH FIVE OR MORE KIDS—WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT WOMEN WHO ARE QUIETLY GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN
5-11-2024ANALYSIS OF MILLIONS OF POSTS SHOWS THAT USERS SEEK OUT ECHO CHAMBERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA
5-11-2024HONG KONG UNIVERSITY TESTS AI PROFESSORS
5-11-2024EXTREME VIEWS ABOUT WOMEN ARE INFILTRATING AUSTRALIAN SCHOOLS—WE NEED A ZERO-TOLERANCE RESPONSE
5-11-2024GROWTH MINDSET TEACHING HELPS STUDENTS MAKE THE GRADE
5-11-2024WORKER RIGHTS ARE ONE OF THE LEAST PROTECTED HUMAN RIGHTS, NEW RESEARCH REVEALS
5-11-2024DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU BELONG AT WORK? HERE’S WHY IT’S SO IMPORTANT FOR YOUR HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND PRODUCTIVITY
5-11-2024RESEARCHER EXPOSES CHILD LABOR TRAFFICKING AS A HIDDEN CRIME AFTER INVESTIGATING 132 VICTIMS
5-11-2024AI KNOWLEDGE GETS YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR FOR JOB INTERVIEWS, SAYS STUDY
5-11-2024STUDY EXPLORES EFFECTS OF OVERSEAS BUSINESS ACTIVITY THROUGH EXPERIENCES OF EXPATRIATES
5-11-2024STUDY IDENTIFIES LARGE INTEREST GAPS IN US LABOR MARKET
5-11-2024STUDY SHOWS AI CONVERSATIONAL AGENTS CAN HELP REDUCE INTERETHNIC PREJUDICE DURING ONLINE INTERACTIONS

MAY 11, 2024

For as long as I can remember, my family and I have shared a deep love for the great outdoors, particularly the enchanting allure of the forest. The allure of nature's symphony, the gentle rustling of leaves, and the melodious songs of birds never failed to captivate our senses. The verdant foliage, adorned with vibrant flowers, created a kaleidoscope of colors that danced before our eyes, while the towering trees whispered ancient secrets to those who would listen. It was a place where tranquility and serenity embraced us, soothing our souls in the embrace of nature's embrace.
Our excursions into the wilderness were often brief, day trips filled with laughter, exploration, and a shared appreciation for the natural wonders around us. But the recent addition of an RV to our family provided an opportunity to embark on a new adventure—an overnight camping trip nestled within the embrace of majestic mountains and the allure of the forest.
Excitement bubbled within us as we meticulously planned our journey. We imagined gathering around a crackling fire, its warm glow casting dancing shadows upon our faces. The scent of burning wood mingling with the crisp mountain air would create an intoxicating aroma that would forever be etched in our memories.
Finally, the day arrived, and we eagerly set off, our RV becoming our mobile sanctuary. The journey itself was a testament to the beauty of the land we traversed. Majestic peaks rose like sentinels, their snow-capped summits piercing the heavens. As we delved deeper into the heart of nature's domain, our anticipation heightened, and our hearts beat in sync with the rhythm of the forest.
Upon reaching our destination, we carefully parked our RV, a tiny fortress amidst the towering giants. The forest seemed to embrace us, its silence broken only by the distant chirping of birds bidding us welcome. The air carried a crispness that invigorated our spirits, as if it whispered tales of forgotten legends and ancient mysteries.
With each step we took, the forest welcomed us into its secret realm. Our senses were intoxicated by the sweet aroma of pine needles underfoot, mingling with the earthy scent of damp soil. Sunlight, filtered through the canopy above, created dappled patterns on the forest floor, like nature's own mesmerizing tapestry.
As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden glow over the campsite, we gathered around the fire pit. Amelia, our adventurous and nature-loving daughter, was brimming with excitement at the prospect of building a fire.
Amelia's eyes sparkled as she clasped her hands together, her voice filled with anticipation. "Dad, I can't wait to make the fire! Can I help? Please?"
A smile stretched across my face, mirroring the twinkle in her eyes. I nodded, appreciating her eagerness to participate in this age-old ritual of outdoor adventure.
"Absolutely, Amelia," I replied, my voice laced with fatherly pride. "You can gather some dry branches and twigs. Just be careful not to venture too far into the forest."
With an enthusiastic nod, Amelia seized a small, weathered basket and darted towards the beckoning trees and rustling underbrush.
"Watch out for the prickly bushes, sweetheart!" I called out, a touch of caution in my voice. "And remember, stay within sight!"
Her voice, tinged with determination, floated back to me on the gentle breeze. "Don't worry, Dad! I'll find the best branches!"
As Amelia vanished into the verdant embrace of the forest, my wife, Emma, emerged from our trusty RV. Her graceful movements belied her quiet excitement as she retrieved the carefully packed food provisions from within.
Emma's nimble fingers unwrapped the ingredients with a practiced ease, her eyes glimmering with a mix of culinary artistry and familial warmth. She hummed a gentle tune under her breath, her love for nurturing our family evident in every deliberate action.
Meanwhile, I busied myself by unloading the essential cooking equipment from the storage compartments. With the clinking of metal against metal, I extracted the gleaming grill grate and stoked the coals, preparing the stage for a delicious outdoor feast.
After a while, with a skip in her step and a glimmer of triumph in her eyes, Amelia emerged from the lush foliage, clutching a trove of dry branches and twigs within the sturdy basket. Yet, nestled in the crook of her other arm was an unexpected treasure—an enchanting discovery that had captured her young heart.
Amelia's voice bubbled with excitement as she approached, her words tumbling forth. "Dad! Look what I found! It's a small Teddy bear! Isn't it adorable?"
Curiosity sparked within me as I studied the small, weathered toy she presented. Its once vibrant colors had faded, its fur slightly disheveled, but it bore an undeniable charm. A silent narrative unfolded before my eyes, envisioning the laughter and companionship this cherished possession once brought to another child.
A mixture of caution and wonder mingled in my voice as I questioned, "Where did you find it, sweetheart? It seems someone may have lost it."
Amelia's face radiated with innocence and genuine affection for her newfound friend. "I found it near a tree, Daddy. Maybe another family played here, and the Teddy bear got left behind. Can I keep it, please?"
My instinctual protective nature rose, a desire to shield her from the potential disappointments that accompany lost treasures. Yet, a tender understanding blossomed within me. This small act of generosity and acceptance would foster her sense of empathy and compassion.
Considering her wide-eyed enthusiasm, I yielded to the warmth in my heart. "Alright, Amelia," I relented with a gentle smile. "If it brings you joy and reminds you of this beautiful adventure, then you can keep it."
Amelia's jubilant squeal filled the air, punctuating the acceptance of her request. With an affectionate hug, she embraced her newfound companion, promising it a future filled with endless tea parties and imaginary adventures.
Afer I set the fire, with a satisfying crackle, the flames sprang to life, dancing and flickering in a mesmerizing rhythm. The golden tendrils reached towards the night sky, casting a warm glow upon our faces. The radiant heat embraced us, dispelling the chill of the evening air as we gathered around the enchanting inferno.
I meticulously arranged the equipment we had brought, positioning the sturdy metal grill over the roaring fire. The scent of woodsmoke mingled with the tantalizing aroma of seasoned meat, sizzling and sputtering as it made contact with the heated grates. The tantalizing melody of crackling embers serenaded our senses, a symphony of anticipation and contentment.
My wife, her eyes sparkling with both determination and tenderness, deftly prepared the ingredients that would transform into a feast of flavors. The rhythmic symphony of chopping, the aromatic dance of herbs and spices, and the gentle sizzle of ingredients meeting the heated pan created a harmonious tableau of culinary artistry.
Amelia, wide-eyed and filled with wonder, took her place by my side, her small hands outstretched in eager anticipation. I showed her how to position the meat on the grill, carefully instructing her on the art of achieving the perfect sear. Her youthful enthusiasm ignited a sense of pride within me, as I witnessed her embracing the opportunity to contribute to our family's culinary adventure.
“We still need some firewood. I will get some until it gets darker. I will be right back!,” I told Emma and I delved deeper into the wilderness.
The air was thick with the scent of pine and earth, a symphony of nature enveloping me as I wandered amidst towering trees. My fingers brushed against dry leaves and moss-covered rocks, searching for the elusive twigs and branches necessary to further kindle our flames.
But my curiosity led me further ahead, my gaze alighting upon something beyond the ordinary. "What the hell," I murmured, my voice was like a whisper amidst the wilderness.
My my heart was quickening as I glimpsed the outline of a vehicle amidst the foliage. It stood solitary and still, like a relic from another time, its metal frame weathered by the passage of seasons.
I hesitated whether or not to go closer, my instincts prickling with unease.
"Perhaps just another camper," I told myself, though doubt lingered in my mind.
Then I changed my mind the hairs were raising on the back of my neck and walked away from the silent sentinel of metal and glass.
I retraced my steps through the labyrinth of trees, the distant echo of our footsteps mingling with the whispers of the forest. I was immediately relieved as the warmth of our camp awaited me and I was not sure if I should tell Emma that I had seen another RV deeper in the forest. I decided not to, it might ruin the warm athmosphere of our moments.
The crackling fire and the tantalizing aroma of the cooking meat wove an enchanting tapestry around us, casting a spell that encapsulated the essence of togetherness. As the minutes ticked by, we shared stories, laughter, and the warmth of familial love. The darkness around us seemed to fade away, replaced by the glow of our shared experiences and the promise of a memorable night.
In that moment, it was not just the flickering flames that illuminated our campsite, but the intangible bond we shared as a family. We were not merely three individuals gathered around a fire, but a tapestry of love, connection, and shared dreams. The crackling fire served as a beacon, illuminating the path towards a future filled with shared adventures, cherished memories, and an unbreakable bond that would withstand the tests of time.
As we reveled in the joyous harmony of food and company, the night sky glittered above, painting a breathtaking backdrop for our intimate gathering. The stars, like sparkling witnesses, bore witness to the magic that unfolded in that humble campsite.
In the symphony of crackling flames and joyful chatter, we savored the beauty of simplicity, finding solace and fulfillment in the warmth of our shared presence. It was in this tranquil moment, surrounded by the wilderness and enveloped in the embrace of our loved ones, that we realized the true essence of life's blessings—a serene respite from the world's chaos, and the unrivaled joy of being together, just the three of us.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, surrendering the world to the embrace of darkness, a palpable chill crept into the air, sending shivers down our spines. Wisps of mist curled and swirled around us, lending an ethereal quality to the night.
Feeling the temperature drop, I retrieved a thick, cozy blanket from the confines of our trusty RV. Its soft fabric, woven with memories of past adventures, held the promise of warmth and comfort. Gently draping the blanket over Emma and Amelia, I ensured their precious forms were shielded from the encroaching cold.
Amelia, her energy waning with each passing moment, fought against the drowsiness tugging at her eyelids. Her yawns, like tiny symphonies of weariness, punctuated the tranquility of the evening. Sensing her fatigue, I knelt down beside her, my voice filled with gentle concern.
"Sweetheart, it's getting late and you look tired," I whispered, my breath carrying warmth in the crisp night air. "Would you like to go to bed?"
Amelia's eyes, still sparkling with the remnants of excitement, met mine. A yawn escaped her lips, a delicate melody of exhaustion. However, her spirit remained steadfast, determined to revel in every last moment of our outdoor escapade.
"No, Daddy," she replied, her voice a soft murmur. "I'm not sleepy yet. I want to stay here and enjoy the campfire."
Her response resonated with the boundless enthusiasm of youth, and I couldn't help but smile at her unwavering spirit. In that instant, I understood that this was a rare and precious opportunity—a chance to immerse ourselves in the magic of the night, to surrender to the allure of the crackling flames and the mysteries concealed within the darkness.
Then I thought of the camper van that I had just seen and for some reason, it made me feel uneasy. Trying to ignore it, I settled myself beside Amelia, the fire's radiant glow casting enchanting shadows upon our faces. Emma, her hand tenderly clasping mine, joined us, her presence a comforting reassurance amidst the whispering night.
As we sat there, the crackling fire casting an otherworldly glow upon our little circle, a symphony of silence enveloped us. The distant chirping of nocturnal creatures mingled with the soft crackling of the firewood, creating a harmonious lullaby that serenaded us into a state of tranquil contentment.
Stars, like celestial lanterns, punctured the ink-black canvas above, their shimmering brilliance a testament to the vastness of the universe and the infinite possibilities that lay beyond our mortal reach. The fragrant scent of pine mingled with the smoky essence of the campfire, intoxicating our senses and anchoring us to this moment of fleeting serenity.
Time seemed suspended, as if the world had paused to allow us this respite from the frenetic pace of life. We basked in the warmth of the fire, our souls nourished by the shared silence and the bond forged through the simple act of being present with one another.
But amidst the tranquil symphony of nature, a rustling in the nearby underbrush shattered the stillness. The sudden disruption reverberated through the air, jolting us from our serene reverie. Emma's eyes widened, her hand instinctively tightening its grip around mine. Amelia, her youthful curiosity piqued, looked to me for reassurance.
"What was that, Daddy?" Amelia whispered, her voice barely audible above the crackling flames.
I cast a soothing smile in her direction, my attempt to allay any growing fears. "It's probably just an animal, sweetheart," I reassured her, my voice carrying a calm certainty. "Maybe a deer or a boar exploring the woods. Nothing to be worried about."
Yet, as the rustling persisted, growing louder and more distinct, even I couldn't help but feel a flicker of unease gnawing at the edges of my composure. The sound seemed to possess an undeniable weight, suggesting a presence larger and more formidable than initially anticipated.
Emma's eyes darted nervously between the surrounding trees, her senses attuned to the slightest movement. "Are you sure, dear?" she asked, her voice tinged with apprehension. "It sounds quite... substantial."
Instinctively, I rose to my feet, my protective instincts surging within me. "Stay here," I instructed, my voice firm but laden with an undercurrent of caution. "I'll go check it out. It's probably just passing through."
With cautious steps, I ventured toward the origin of the enigmatic rustling, my ears straining to decipher its source. I thought about the camper van. Was it possible that they could see our fire and wanted some company? That sounded ridiculous. Or could they have been in trouble? I should have checked that vehicle out.
Each crackle of twigs underfoot seemed to amplify in the stillness of the night, magnifying my senses. As I neared the treeline, anticipation mingled with a lingering sense of trepidation.
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the rustling ceased, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. The once vibrant symphony of nature now seemed muted, as if holding its breath in anticipation. I scanned the darkness, searching for any signs of movement, my heart thudding against my chest.
Slowly, I retraced my steps back to the warmth and safety of our campfire haven, my senses on high alert. Returning to my family, I wore a reassuring smile, hoping to convey a sense of calm despite the lingering mystery.
"It's alright," I assured them, my voice infused with a newfound conviction. "Whatever it was, it must have moved along. We're safe here."
Relief washed over their faces, their tense postures gradually easing. We settled back into our makeshift sanctuary, the familiarity of the crackling fire offering a comforting embrace. Our senses remained heightened, vigilant for any lingering signs of the unseen visitor.
Just as a semblance of calm began to settle over our campsite, an otherworldly roar pierced the night air, tearing through the fabric of serenity. The sound, far from the natural symphony we had grown accustomed to, possessed a menacing quality that resonated deep within our souls. Its metallic timbre reverberated through the darkness, sending icy tendrils of fear snaking down our spines.
Amelia's eyes widened in terror, her small frame trembling with the weight of the unknown. Emma's expression mirrored the trepidation etched across our faces. This was no ordinary sound—a realization that hung heavy in the air.
"That... that doesn't sound like a deer or a boar," Emma stammered, her voice quivering with a mix of disbelief and dread. "What could it possibly be?"
Before we could ponder further, the deafening roar reverberated through the night once more, closer this time. Its proximity shattered any illusions of safety that had momentarily settled over us. The air seemed to thicken, charged with an electric sense of urgency. Our instincts kicked into overdrive, urging us to abandon our belongings and seek shelter.
"Leave everything!" I shouted, my voice laced with urgency. "We have to get to the RV now!"
Without a moment's hesitation, we sprang into action. Emma snatched Amelia's hand, her grip tight and resolute, while I scooped up our precious daughter into my arms.
“My bear,” she screamed and picked up her new toy, her tiny hands clung to the worn bear with an intensity that belied her tender age.
The campfire, once a symbol of warmth and tranquility, was abandoned in an instant as we sprinted toward the sanctuary of the RV.
The world around us blurred into a frenzy of motion as our legs carried us with desperate urgency. Fear propelled us forward, fueling our determination to reach safety. With each pounding heartbeat, the roar grew louder, its ominous resonance seemingly at our heels, a predator closing in on its prey.
Finally, we reached the welcoming embrace of the RV, its sturdy frame offering a semblance of refuge from the unknown terror that lurked beyond. I swiftly deposited Amelia onto the seat, her wide eyes reflecting the same mixture of fear and relief that mirrored our own.
As I fumbled with the keys, my hands trembling with a cocktail of adrenaline and anxiety, I spared a glance back at the abandoned campsite. The darkness swallowed our belongings, the remnants of our interrupted evening left behind as a haunting reminder of the inexplicable menace that had disrupted our peaceful retreat.
With a trembling hand, I inserted the key into the ignition, the engine roaring to life in harmony with the echoes of the unknown creature outside. The RV became our fortress, its metal walls shielding us from the terrors that lurked beyond.
As we peeled away from the once idyllic campsite, the wailing roar echoed in the distance. Our hearts raced in unison, our breaths coming in jagged gasps as we sought solace in the sanctuary of the rolling vehicle.
With a trembling hand gripping the steering wheel, I pressed my foot down harder on the gas pedal, urging the RV to accelerate. The vehicle responded with a surge of power, propelling us forward with a newfound urgency. The engine roared in unison with the thundering beat of my heart, creating a symphony of adrenaline-fueled chaos.
As the wheels churned beneath us, the surrounding trees became a blur of green and brown, their branches reaching out like ghostly specters in our wake. The world outside the windows shifted in a dizzying dance, a kaleidoscope of fleeting glimpses and fleeting shadows.
The headlights sliced through the darkness, casting elongated shadows that flickered and danced upon the passing foliage. Each passing plant and tree seemed to contort and twist in the ethereal glow, their distorted forms morphing into grotesque silhouettes of their former selves.
A heavy silence settled within the RV, broken only by the hum of the engine and the rhythmic whoosh of the rushing wind. Our breaths remained caught in our chests, suspended in a shared state of shock and disbelief. The weight of what we had witnessed hung in the air, a chilling reminder that the boundaries of our world were not as fixed as we had once believed.
The scene we had left behind in the forest haunted our thoughts—a glimpse into a realm far removed from our own, something demonic, something that defied explanation. The image of that otherworldly roar and the malevolent presence it implied lingered like a scar etched into our memories, forever imprinted upon our souls.
Minutes stretched into agonizing hours as we raced along the winding road, each passing second feeling like an eternity. Our collective relief remained just out of reach, overshadowed by the lingering unease that clung to us like a specter. The distance between the forest and the main road seemed interminable, every curve and bend in the road prolonging our escape.
Finally, the familiar sight of the main road materialized before us, a beacon of respite in the darkness. As the RV merged onto its paved embrace, a collective sigh of relief cascaded through the cabin. The weight that had burdened our shoulders began to lift, replaced by a renewed sense of safety and security.
Yet, despite the relief that washed over us, the memory of the demonic encounter refused to dissipate as we were heading home. We knew that what we had witnessed in the depths of the forest would forever remain a haunting enigma, a testament to the boundless mysteries that lurk on the fringes of our understanding.
With weary bodies and restless minds, we arrived back at the familiar sanctuary of our home. The weight of the night's harrowing encounter clung to us like a heavy shroud, making the simple act of finding solace in sleep an arduous task. We all slept in the same bed that night. Tossing and turning beneath the covers, we battled against the remnants of fear that lingered within the recesses of our thoughts.
Morning finally broke through the darkness, casting its tentative rays of light upon our weary faces. The sun's gentle warmth filtered through the curtains, offering a glimmer of respite from the lingering shadows of the night. We emerged from our sleep-deprived haze, grateful for the sanctuary that our home provided.
Gathering around the breakfast table, our shared silence spoke volumes. We sought solace in the simple act of breaking bread together, a familiar routine that offered a semblance of normalcy amidst the lingering unease. No words were spoken of the night's horrors; instead, we focused on the mundane tasks of the morning, the clinking of cutlery and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee serving as a comforting backdrop to our collective attempt at healing.
As the day unfolded, we busied ourselves with the routine tasks, finding solace in the familiar rhythms. Dusting shelves, tending to neglected plants, and tidying up the remnants of the night's chaos became acts of therapy, a means of grounding ourselves in the reassuring normalcy of domesticity.
The weight of exhaustion settled upon our shoulders, and we allowed ourselves moments of respite as the day wore on. Sunday, a day of rest, offered a reprieve. We retreated to the cozy corners of our home, seeking solace in the embrace of soft couches and plush pillows.
As the hours slipped away, a quiet calm enveloped our home. The once-turbulent waves of fear and uncertainty settled into a gentle ebb and flow. Laughter and conversation, began to permeate the air, intermingling with the familiar sounds of a household in motion.
As the evening sun began to dip below the horizon, casting a warm glow through the living room window, we settled down in front of the TV, seeking solace in laughter and lightheartedness.
I reached for the remote control, ready to immerse ourselves in the comedic world of a streaming service, when something caught our attention. The TV screen flickered to life, displaying the urgent and captivating headlines of the news. A mixture of curiosity and a tinge of apprehension filled the room, prompting me to pause and leave the news channel playing.
The news anchor's voice echoed through the room, delivering the shocking report of a missing family. My wife leaned forward, her eyes fixed on the TV, her voice trembling with concern. Amelia, her eyes wide with curiosity, leaned closer to the TV, her Teddy bear still clutched tightly in her arms as she was listening to the newsreader.
“This is a breaking news update on a harrowing incident that has shaken the community to its core. The Hudson family, who embarked on a seemingly routine hiking trip into the serene depths of the nearby forest several weeks ago, has tragically met a devastating fate. Today, authorities have confirmed the discovery and identification of their camper van and remains, a discovery that has left investigators, medical examiners, and locals alike in a state of shock and disbelief. The process of identifying the bodies was nothing short of a nightmare for the dedicated team of forensic experts. The unimaginable horror that unfolded in those woods rendered their task exceptionally challenging. Their bodies, torn apart by an unknown and unimaginable force, presented investigators with an enigma that defied explanation. Their positions were grotesquely twisted, their injuries inexplicable and mind-boggling. According to the investigators, an unknown force seriously damaged their RV as well. Medical examiners, renowned for their expertise, were left dumbfounded as they grappled with the mysterious circumstances surrounding this tragic event. The sheer brutality of their demise left them searching for answers that seemed to lie just beyond their reach. The bite marks, enormous in size and ferocity, left on the bodies only added to the perplexity of the situation. Astonishingly, DNA testing revealed that these bite marks belonged to an unidentified creature, sending shockwaves of fear and disbelief through the community. The repercussions of this shocking revelation have reverberated throughout the town, leaving residents on edge and gripped by a pervasive sense of fear and uncertainty. The once serene forest, a place of solace and tranquility, now holds untold horrors that have shattered the peace and shattered the lives of the Hudson family. Authorities advise everyone not to go into the forest until they find out what happened and what killed the family.”
As the newsreader went on we all stopped eating our popocorn.
“In light of these disturbing developments, it is my duty to advise against venturing into the forest at this time. The safety and security that once accompanied our tranquil natural surroundings have been shattered, replaced by an aura of uncertainty and fear. Folks, we cannot ignore the evidence before us, the evidence that points to an unknown and terrifying presence within those woods. I understand the allure of nature's embrace, the desire to explore, to seek solace, and to reconnect with the world around us. However, in this moment, I implore you to prioritize your safety and exercise caution. The risk is simply too great, and the consequences too dire to ignore. I urge you to remain vigilant, to report any suspicious activities or unusual occurrences to the authorities immediately. Your eyes and ears are our greatest assets in keeping our town safe. Together, we can overcome this darkness and restore a sense of security to our beloved community. In the coming days and weeks, we will keep you updated on the progress of our investigations,” the country sheriff said to the reporter.
“We will continue to bring you updates on this developing story as more information becomes available. Our hearts go out to the Hudson family and all those affected by this unimaginable tragedy. Please stay tuned for further updates as we strive to unravel the mysteries that lie hidden within the depths of our world,” the newsreader said and they showed some photos of the Hudson family.
The images on the screen showed their smiling faces, frozen in time. The thought that the camper van I saw in the forest was the crime scene of a brutal and unexplained murder not far from our camp, sent chills down on my spine. This was something I kept to myself. But we all thought about the same thing: the next ones could have been us.

For as long as I can remember, my family and I have shared a deep love for the great outdoors, particularly the enchanting allure of the forest. The allure of nature's symphony, the gentle rustling of leaves, and the melodious songs of birds never failed to captivate our senses. The verdant foliage, adorned with vibrant flowers, created a kaleidoscope of colors that danced before our eyes, while the towering trees whispered ancient secrets to those who would listen. It was a place where tranquility and serenity embraced us, soothing our souls in the embrace of nature's embrace.
Our excursions into the wilderness were often brief, day trips filled with laughter, exploration, and a shared appreciation for the natural wonders around us. But the recent addition of an RV to our family provided an opportunity to embark on a new adventure—an overnight camping trip nestled within the embrace of majestic mountains and the allure of the forest.
Excitement bubbled within us as we meticulously planned our journey. We imagined gathering around a crackling fire, its warm glow casting dancing shadows upon our faces. The scent of burning wood mingling with the crisp mountain air would create an intoxicating aroma that would forever be etched in our memories.
Finally, the day arrived, and we eagerly set off, our RV becoming our mobile sanctuary. The journey itself was a testament to the beauty of the land we traversed. Majestic peaks rose like sentinels, their snow-capped summits piercing the heavens. As we delved deeper into the heart of nature's domain, our anticipation heightened, and our hearts beat in sync with the rhythm of the forest.
Upon reaching our destination, we carefully parked our RV, a tiny fortress amidst the towering giants. The forest seemed to embrace us, its silence broken only by the distant chirping of birds bidding us welcome. The air carried a crispness that invigorated our spirits, as if it whispered tales of forgotten legends and ancient mysteries.
With each step we took, the forest welcomed us into its secret realm. Our senses were intoxicated by the sweet aroma of pine needles underfoot, mingling with the earthy scent of damp soil. Sunlight, filtered through the canopy above, created dappled patterns on the forest floor, like nature's own mesmerizing tapestry.
As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden glow over the campsite, we gathered around the fire pit. Amelia, our adventurous and nature-loving daughter, was brimming with excitement at the prospect of building a fire.
Amelia's eyes sparkled as she clasped her hands together, her voice filled with anticipation. "Dad, I can't wait to make the fire! Can I help? Please?"
A smile stretched across my face, mirroring the twinkle in her eyes. I nodded, appreciating her eagerness to participate in this age-old ritual of outdoor adventure.
"Absolutely, Amelia," I replied, my voice laced with fatherly pride. "You can gather some dry branches and twigs. Just be careful not to venture too far into the forest."
With an enthusiastic nod, Amelia seized a small, weathered basket and darted towards the beckoning trees and rustling underbrush.
"Watch out for the prickly bushes, sweetheart!" I called out, a touch of caution in my voice. "And remember, stay within sight!"
Her voice, tinged with determination, floated back to me on the gentle breeze. "Don't worry, Dad! I'll find the best branches!"
As Amelia vanished into the verdant embrace of the forest, my wife, Emma, emerged from our trusty RV. Her graceful movements belied her quiet excitement as she retrieved the carefully packed food provisions from within.
Emma's nimble fingers unwrapped the ingredients with a practiced ease, her eyes glimmering with a mix of culinary artistry and familial warmth. She hummed a gentle tune under her breath, her love for nurturing our family evident in every deliberate action.
Meanwhile, I busied myself by unloading the essential cooking equipment from the storage compartments. With the clinking of metal against metal, I extracted the gleaming grill grate and stoked the coals, preparing the stage for a delicious outdoor feast.
After a while, with a skip in her step and a glimmer of triumph in her eyes, Amelia emerged from the lush foliage, clutching a trove of dry branches and twigs within the sturdy basket. Yet, nestled in the crook of her other arm was an unexpected treasure—an enchanting discovery that had captured her young heart.
Amelia's voice bubbled with excitement as she approached, her words tumbling forth. "Dad! Look what I found! It's a small Teddy bear! Isn't it adorable?"
Curiosity sparked within me as I studied the small, weathered toy she presented. Its once vibrant colors had faded, its fur slightly disheveled, but it bore an undeniable charm. A silent narrative unfolded before my eyes, envisioning the laughter and companionship this cherished possession once brought to another child.
A mixture of caution and wonder mingled in my voice as I questioned, "Where did you find it, sweetheart? It seems someone may have lost it."
Amelia's face radiated with innocence and genuine affection for her newfound friend. "I found it near a tree, Daddy. Maybe another family played here, and the Teddy bear got left behind. Can I keep it, please?"
My instinctual protective nature rose, a desire to shield her from the potential disappointments that accompany lost treasures. Yet, a tender understanding blossomed within me. This small act of generosity and acceptance would foster her sense of empathy and compassion.
Considering her wide-eyed enthusiasm, I yielded to the warmth in my heart. "Alright, Amelia," I relented with a gentle smile. "If it brings you joy and reminds you of this beautiful adventure, then you can keep it."
Amelia's jubilant squeal filled the air, punctuating the acceptance of her request. With an affectionate hug, she embraced her newfound companion, promising it a future filled with endless tea parties and imaginary adventures.
Afer I set the fire, with a satisfying crackle, the flames sprang to life, dancing and flickering in a mesmerizing rhythm. The golden tendrils reached towards the night sky, casting a warm glow upon our faces. The radiant heat embraced us, dispelling the chill of the evening air as we gathered around the enchanting inferno.
I meticulously arranged the equipment we had brought, positioning the sturdy metal grill over the roaring fire. The scent of woodsmoke mingled with the tantalizing aroma of seasoned meat, sizzling and sputtering as it made contact with the heated grates. The tantalizing melody of crackling embers serenaded our senses, a symphony of anticipation and contentment.
My wife, her eyes sparkling with both determination and tenderness, deftly prepared the ingredients that would transform into a feast of flavors. The rhythmic symphony of chopping, the aromatic dance of herbs and spices, and the gentle sizzle of ingredients meeting the heated pan created a harmonious tableau of culinary artistry.
Amelia, wide-eyed and filled with wonder, took her place by my side, her small hands outstretched in eager anticipation. I showed her how to position the meat on the grill, carefully instructing her on the art of achieving the perfect sear. Her youthful enthusiasm ignited a sense of pride within me, as I witnessed her embracing the opportunity to contribute to our family's culinary adventure.
“We still need some firewood. I will get some until it gets darker. I will be right back!,” I told Emma and I delved deeper into the wilderness.
The air was thick with the scent of pine and earth, a symphony of nature enveloping me as I wandered amidst towering trees. My fingers brushed against dry leaves and moss-covered rocks, searching for the elusive twigs and branches necessary to further kindle our flames.
But my curiosity led me further ahead, my gaze alighting upon something beyond the ordinary. "What the hell," I murmured, my voice was like a whisper amidst the wilderness.
My my heart was quickening as I glimpsed the outline of a vehicle amidst the foliage. It stood solitary and still, like a relic from another time, its metal frame weathered by the passage of seasons.
I hesitated whether or not to go closer, my instincts prickling with unease.
"Perhaps just another camper," I told myself, though doubt lingered in my mind.
Then I changed my mind the hairs were raising on the back of my neck and walked away from the silent sentinel of metal and glass.
I retraced my steps through the labyrinth of trees, the distant echo of our footsteps mingling with the whispers of the forest. I was immediately relieved as the warmth of our camp awaited me and I was not sure if I should tell Emma that I had seen another RV deeper in the forest. I decided not to, it might ruin the warm athmosphere of our moments.
The crackling fire and the tantalizing aroma of the cooking meat wove an enchanting tapestry around us, casting a spell that encapsulated the essence of togetherness. As the minutes ticked by, we shared stories, laughter, and the warmth of familial love. The darkness around us seemed to fade away, replaced by the glow of our shared experiences and the promise of a memorable night.
In that moment, it was not just the flickering flames that illuminated our campsite, but the intangible bond we shared as a family. We were not merely three individuals gathered around a fire, but a tapestry of love, connection, and shared dreams. The crackling fire served as a beacon, illuminating the path towards a future filled with shared adventures, cherished memories, and an unbreakable bond that would withstand the tests of time.
As we reveled in the joyous harmony of food and company, the night sky glittered above, painting a breathtaking backdrop for our intimate gathering. The stars, like sparkling witnesses, bore witness to the magic that unfolded in that humble campsite.
In the symphony of crackling flames and joyful chatter, we savored the beauty of simplicity, finding solace and fulfillment in the warmth of our shared presence. It was in this tranquil moment, surrounded by the wilderness and enveloped in the embrace of our loved ones, that we realized the true essence of life's blessings—a serene respite from the world's chaos, and the unrivaled joy of being together, just the three of us.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, surrendering the world to the embrace of darkness, a palpable chill crept into the air, sending shivers down our spines. Wisps of mist curled and swirled around us, lending an ethereal quality to the night.
Feeling the temperature drop, I retrieved a thick, cozy blanket from the confines of our trusty RV. Its soft fabric, woven with memories of past adventures, held the promise of warmth and comfort. Gently draping the blanket over Emma and Amelia, I ensured their precious forms were shielded from the encroaching cold.
Amelia, her energy waning with each passing moment, fought against the drowsiness tugging at her eyelids. Her yawns, like tiny symphonies of weariness, punctuated the tranquility of the evening. Sensing her fatigue, I knelt down beside her, my voice filled with gentle concern.
"Sweetheart, it's getting late and you look tired," I whispered, my breath carrying warmth in the crisp night air. "Would you like to go to bed?"
Amelia's eyes, still sparkling with the remnants of excitement, met mine. A yawn escaped her lips, a delicate melody of exhaustion. However, her spirit remained steadfast, determined to revel in every last moment of our outdoor escapade.
"No, Daddy," she replied, her voice a soft murmur. "I'm not sleepy yet. I want to stay here and enjoy the campfire."
Her response resonated with the boundless enthusiasm of youth, and I couldn't help but smile at her unwavering spirit. In that instant, I understood that this was a rare and precious opportunity—a chance to immerse ourselves in the magic of the night, to surrender to the allure of the crackling flames and the mysteries concealed within the darkness.
Then I thought of the camper van that I had just seen and for some reason, it made me feel uneasy. Trying to ignore it, I settled myself beside Amelia, the fire's radiant glow casting enchanting shadows upon our faces. Emma, her hand tenderly clasping mine, joined us, her presence a comforting reassurance amidst the whispering night.
As we sat there, the crackling fire casting an otherworldly glow upon our little circle, a symphony of silence enveloped us. The distant chirping of nocturnal creatures mingled with the soft crackling of the firewood, creating a harmonious lullaby that serenaded us into a state of tranquil contentment.
Stars, like celestial lanterns, punctured the ink-black canvas above, their shimmering brilliance a testament to the vastness of the universe and the infinite possibilities that lay beyond our mortal reach. The fragrant scent of pine mingled with the smoky essence of the campfire, intoxicating our senses and anchoring us to this moment of fleeting serenity.
Time seemed suspended, as if the world had paused to allow us this respite from the frenetic pace of life. We basked in the warmth of the fire, our souls nourished by the shared silence and the bond forged through the simple act of being present with one another.
But amidst the tranquil symphony of nature, a rustling in the nearby underbrush shattered the stillness. The sudden disruption reverberated through the air, jolting us from our serene reverie. Emma's eyes widened, her hand instinctively tightening its grip around mine. Amelia, her youthful curiosity piqued, looked to me for reassurance.
"What was that, Daddy?" Amelia whispered, her voice barely audible above the crackling flames.
I cast a soothing smile in her direction, my attempt to allay any growing fears. "It's probably just an animal, sweetheart," I reassured her, my voice carrying a calm certainty. "Maybe a deer or a boar exploring the woods. Nothing to be worried about."
Yet, as the rustling persisted, growing louder and more distinct, even I couldn't help but feel a flicker of unease gnawing at the edges of my composure. The sound seemed to possess an undeniable weight, suggesting a presence larger and more formidable than initially anticipated.
Emma's eyes darted nervously between the surrounding trees, her senses attuned to the slightest movement. "Are you sure, dear?" she asked, her voice tinged with apprehension. "It sounds quite... substantial."
Instinctively, I rose to my feet, my protective instincts surging within me. "Stay here," I instructed, my voice firm but laden with an undercurrent of caution. "I'll go check it out. It's probably just passing through."
With cautious steps, I ventured toward the origin of the enigmatic rustling, my ears straining to decipher its source. I thought about the camper van. Was it possible that they could see our fire and wanted some company? That sounded ridiculous. Or could they have been in trouble? I should have checked that vehicle out.
Each crackle of twigs underfoot seemed to amplify in the stillness of the night, magnifying my senses. As I neared the treeline, anticipation mingled with a lingering sense of trepidation.
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the rustling ceased, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. The once vibrant symphony of nature now seemed muted, as if holding its breath in anticipation. I scanned the darkness, searching for any signs of movement, my heart thudding against my chest.
Slowly, I retraced my steps back to the warmth and safety of our campfire haven, my senses on high alert. Returning to my family, I wore a reassuring smile, hoping to convey a sense of calm despite the lingering mystery.
"It's alright," I assured them, my voice infused with a newfound conviction. "Whatever it was, it must have moved along. We're safe here."
Relief washed over their faces, their tense postures gradually easing. We settled back into our makeshift sanctuary, the familiarity of the crackling fire offering a comforting embrace. Our senses remained heightened, vigilant for any lingering signs of the unseen visitor.
Just as a semblance of calm began to settle over our campsite, an otherworldly roar pierced the night air, tearing through the fabric of serenity. The sound, far from the natural symphony we had grown accustomed to, possessed a menacing quality that resonated deep within our souls. Its metallic timbre reverberated through the darkness, sending icy tendrils of fear snaking down our spines.
Amelia's eyes widened in terror, her small frame trembling with the weight of the unknown. Emma's expression mirrored the trepidation etched across our faces. This was no ordinary sound—a realization that hung heavy in the air.
"That... that doesn't sound like a deer or a boar," Emma stammered, her voice quivering with a mix of disbelief and dread. "What could it possibly be?"
Before we could ponder further, the deafening roar reverberated through the night once more, closer this time. Its proximity shattered any illusions of safety that had momentarily settled over us. The air seemed to thicken, charged with an electric sense of urgency. Our instincts kicked into overdrive, urging us to abandon our belongings and seek shelter.
"Leave everything!" I shouted, my voice laced with urgency. "We have to get to the RV now!"
Without a moment's hesitation, we sprang into action. Emma snatched Amelia's hand, her grip tight and resolute, while I scooped up our precious daughter into my arms.
“My bear,” she screamed and picked up her new toy, her tiny hands clung to the worn bear with an intensity that belied her tender age.
The campfire, once a symbol of warmth and tranquility, was abandoned in an instant as we sprinted toward the sanctuary of the RV.
The world around us blurred into a frenzy of motion as our legs carried us with desperate urgency. Fear propelled us forward, fueling our determination to reach safety. With each pounding heartbeat, the roar grew louder, its ominous resonance seemingly at our heels, a predator closing in on its prey.
Finally, we reached the welcoming embrace of the RV, its sturdy frame offering a semblance of refuge from the unknown terror that lurked beyond. I swiftly deposited Amelia onto the seat, her wide eyes reflecting the same mixture of fear and relief that mirrored our own.
As I fumbled with the keys, my hands trembling with a cocktail of adrenaline and anxiety, I spared a glance back at the abandoned campsite. The darkness swallowed our belongings, the remnants of our interrupted evening left behind as a haunting reminder of the inexplicable menace that had disrupted our peaceful retreat.
With a trembling hand, I inserted the key into the ignition, the engine roaring to life in harmony with the echoes of the unknown creature outside. The RV became our fortress, its metal walls shielding us from the terrors that lurked beyond.
As we peeled away from the once idyllic campsite, the wailing roar echoed in the distance. Our hearts raced in unison, our breaths coming in jagged gasps as we sought solace in the sanctuary of the rolling vehicle.
With a trembling hand gripping the steering wheel, I pressed my foot down harder on the gas pedal, urging the RV to accelerate. The vehicle responded with a surge of power, propelling us forward with a newfound urgency. The engine roared in unison with the thundering beat of my heart, creating a symphony of adrenaline-fueled chaos.
As the wheels churned beneath us, the surrounding trees became a blur of green and brown, their branches reaching out like ghostly specters in our wake. The world outside the windows shifted in a dizzying dance, a kaleidoscope of fleeting glimpses and fleeting shadows.
The headlights sliced through the darkness, casting elongated shadows that flickered and danced upon the passing foliage. Each passing plant and tree seemed to contort and twist in the ethereal glow, their distorted forms morphing into grotesque silhouettes of their former selves.
A heavy silence settled within the RV, broken only by the hum of the engine and the rhythmic whoosh of the rushing wind. Our breaths remained caught in our chests, suspended in a shared state of shock and disbelief. The weight of what we had witnessed hung in the air, a chilling reminder that the boundaries of our world were not as fixed as we had once believed.
The scene we had left behind in the forest haunted our thoughts—a glimpse into a realm far removed from our own, something demonic, something that defied explanation. The image of that otherworldly roar and the malevolent presence it implied lingered like a scar etched into our memories, forever imprinted upon our souls.
Minutes stretched into agonizing hours as we raced along the winding road, each passing second feeling like an eternity. Our collective relief remained just out of reach, overshadowed by the lingering unease that clung to us like a specter. The distance between the forest and the main road seemed interminable, every curve and bend in the road prolonging our escape.
Finally, the familiar sight of the main road materialized before us, a beacon of respite in the darkness. As the RV merged onto its paved embrace, a collective sigh of relief cascaded through the cabin. The weight that had burdened our shoulders began to lift, replaced by a renewed sense of safety and security.
Yet, despite the relief that washed over us, the memory of the demonic encounter refused to dissipate as we were heading home. We knew that what we had witnessed in the depths of the forest would forever remain a haunting enigma, a testament to the boundless mysteries that lurk on the fringes of our understanding.
With weary bodies and restless minds, we arrived back at the familiar sanctuary of our home. The weight of the night's harrowing encounter clung to us like a heavy shroud, making the simple act of finding solace in sleep an arduous task. We all slept in the same bed that night. Tossing and turning beneath the covers, we battled against the remnants of fear that lingered within the recesses of our thoughts.
Morning finally broke through the darkness, casting its tentative rays of light upon our weary faces. The sun's gentle warmth filtered through the curtains, offering a glimmer of respite from the lingering shadows of the night. We emerged from our sleep-deprived haze, grateful for the sanctuary that our home provided.
Gathering around the breakfast table, our shared silence spoke volumes. We sought solace in the simple act of breaking bread together, a familiar routine that offered a semblance of normalcy amidst the lingering unease. No words were spoken of the night's horrors; instead, we focused on the mundane tasks of the morning, the clinking of cutlery and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee serving as a comforting backdrop to our collective attempt at healing.
As the day unfolded, we busied ourselves with the routine tasks, finding solace in the familiar rhythms. Dusting shelves, tending to neglected plants, and tidying up the remnants of the night's chaos became acts of therapy, a means of grounding ourselves in the reassuring normalcy of domesticity.
The weight of exhaustion settled upon our shoulders, and we allowed ourselves moments of respite as the day wore on. Sunday, a day of rest, offered a reprieve. We retreated to the cozy corners of our home, seeking solace in the embrace of soft couches and plush pillows.
As the hours slipped away, a quiet calm enveloped our home. The once-turbulent waves of fear and uncertainty settled into a gentle ebb and flow. Laughter and conversation, began to permeate the air, intermingling with the familiar sounds of a household in motion.
As the evening sun began to dip below the horizon, casting a warm glow through the living room window, we settled down in front of the TV, seeking solace in laughter and lightheartedness.
I reached for the remote control, ready to immerse ourselves in the comedic world of a streaming service, when something caught our attention. The TV screen flickered to life, displaying the urgent and captivating headlines of the news. A mixture of curiosity and a tinge of apprehension filled the room, prompting me to pause and leave the news channel playing.
The news anchor's voice echoed through the room, delivering the shocking report of a missing family. My wife leaned forward, her eyes fixed on the TV, her voice trembling with concern. Amelia, her eyes wide with curiosity, leaned closer to the TV, her Teddy bear still clutched tightly in her arms as she was listening to the newsreader.
“This is a breaking news update on a harrowing incident that has shaken the community to its core. The Hudson family, who embarked on a seemingly routine hiking trip into the serene depths of the nearby forest several weeks ago, has tragically met a devastating fate. Today, authorities have confirmed the discovery and identification of their camper van and remains, a discovery that has left investigators, medical examiners, and locals alike in a state of shock and disbelief. The process of identifying the bodies was nothing short of a nightmare for the dedicated team of forensic experts. The unimaginable horror that unfolded in those woods rendered their task exceptionally challenging. Their bodies, torn apart by an unknown and unimaginable force, presented investigators with an enigma that defied explanation. Their positions were grotesquely twisted, their injuries inexplicable and mind-boggling. According to the investigators, an unknown force seriously damaged their RV as well. Medical examiners, renowned for their expertise, were left dumbfounded as they grappled with the mysterious circumstances surrounding this tragic event. The sheer brutality of their demise left them searching for answers that seemed to lie just beyond their reach. The bite marks, enormous in size and ferocity, left on the bodies only added to the perplexity of the situation. Astonishingly, DNA testing revealed that these bite marks belonged to an unidentified creature, sending shockwaves of fear and disbelief through the community. The repercussions of this shocking revelation have reverberated throughout the town, leaving residents on edge and gripped by a pervasive sense of fear and uncertainty. The once serene forest, a place of solace and tranquility, now holds untold horrors that have shattered the peace and shattered the lives of the Hudson family. Authorities advise everyone not to go into the forest until they find out what happened and what killed the family.”
As the newsreader went on we all stopped eating our popocorn.
“In light of these disturbing developments, it is my duty to advise against venturing into the forest at this time. The safety and security that once accompanied our tranquil natural surroundings have been shattered, replaced by an aura of uncertainty and fear. Folks, we cannot ignore the evidence before us, the evidence that points to an unknown and terrifying presence within those woods. I understand the allure of nature's embrace, the desire to explore, to seek solace, and to reconnect with the world around us. However, in this moment, I implore you to prioritize your safety and exercise caution. The risk is simply too great, and the consequences too dire to ignore. I urge you to remain vigilant, to report any suspicious activities or unusual occurrences to the authorities immediately. Your eyes and ears are our greatest assets in keeping our town safe. Together, we can overcome this darkness and restore a sense of security to our beloved community. In the coming days and weeks, we will keep you updated on the progress of our investigations,” the country sheriff said to the reporter.
“We will continue to bring you updates on this developing story as more information becomes available. Our hearts go out to the Hudson family and all those affected by this unimaginable tragedy. Please stay tuned for further updates as we strive to unravel the mysteries that lie hidden within the depths of our world,” the newsreader said and they showed some photos of the Hudson family.
The images on the screen showed their smiling faces, frozen in time. The thought that the camper van I saw in the forest was the crime scene of a brutal and unexplained murder not far from our camp, sent chills down on my spine. This was something I kept to myself. But we all thought about the same thing: the next ones could have been us.
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