Any advice for estrogen dominance? I’m a 34 year-old woman who just had surgery to remove a large fibroid, and I want to prevent recurrence. I have Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism, managed w/ Rx thyroid hormone. I was still not optimal, so first course of action was to start increasing the dose, as low thyroid likely contributed to the fibroid / estrogen dominance. My vitamin D has been chronically low but I fixed this w/ supplementation, now it’s stable in the 50s.
I’m a former smoker and the fibroid only grew to a large size after I quit last August, pretty sudden and rapid growth, so I feel like there’s a connection— cigarettes were somehow supressing growth? or vasodilation after years of vasoconstriction stimulated blood flow to the fibroid? Estrogen balance was thrown off by the stress of quitting? Who knows.
Anyways, besides increasing thyroid, I would love advice from Peat adherents on supporting estrogen detox / eliminating dominance. Conventional advice has me avoiding dairy and red meat, suggests that greens will help support estrogen detox, coffee/caffeine encourages fibroid growth, DIM and calcium D glucarate for supplements, etc. I am open-minded but as I’m naturally low thyroid, I’d rather eat in a way that supports thyroid function. So goitrogenic foods that are suggested for hormones don’t seem great.
I was a big coffee drinker and I switched to green tea some months ago, honestly I don’t regret this and feel 100% better and less anxious without coffee. Green tea and matcha makes me feel incredible, alert but peaceful. But I really don’t want to eliminate beef / red meat, I think I do better eating these foods. Perhaps avoiding overconsumption of A1 dairy is good for me, but would like to keep butter & some cheese at least. I love eating salad but I know it’s not Peat-y. I’m 100% gluten free for years now, recommended with Hashimoto’s, but I do love eating meals w/ rice.
I would consider progesterone but I’m a little scared of it, I tried progesterone from forefront health briefly last year and got these weird shooting breast pains, like radiating electric shocks. So I felt like it was messing with something hormonal beyond my comfort level. Basically I’d rather boost progesterone w/ food and lifestyle vs. a hormone supplement, I’m already supplementing thyroid. I also want to support fertility when I’m cleared for pregnancy in 6 months.
Thank you!

I’ve taken slippery elm powder in capsule form for years to help with digestive issues (usually natures way). I’m used to it having a very mild smell. I recently ordered some from Mountain Rose Herbs and the smell is very pungent and it’s throwing me off a bit. It’s almost…spicy? It’s definitely much stronger than what I’m used to. I realize this is much fresher with no fillers. So my question is, what should slippery elm smell like?

DISCLAIMER: This post does not provide medical advice. Only a doctor can establish a diagnosis and select the appropriate treatment.
Who will find this post useful? If your symptoms are related to the psychoactive effects of Lion's Mane, then this post is for you. If you have signs of allergy or poisoning, then you need to consult an allergist or toxicologist. If you experience severe side effects of any nature, you should call an ambulance.
In this post, we will learn about how psychotherapy techniques work. Only those techniques that have helped me personally will be described here. Next we will talk about supplements and choosing a doctor.
Before moving on to psychotherapeutic techniques, I must make a reservation - if they will be ineffective in your case, that's okay. Side effects are caused by components of Lion's Mane, not by thinking errors. These techniques are just supportive tools to control symptoms.

Fear of panic attack

Panic attack can be divided into 2 stages:

1. In the first stage, there is increasing anxiety and fear that a panic attack is about to start. At this point, the panic itself is not yet present, but you are already afraid that it is about to start;
2. Fear at the first stage increases the likelihood of a panic attack. If a panic attack has started, there is a fear that it will be prolonged or any other fear.

Have you noticed a vicious cycle? We can break this vicious cycle so that panic attacks occur much less often. The following techniques will help with that.
The first step you need to eliminate the fear that a panic attack will start. Here is an example of an inner speech that increases fear: "Oh no! What if it starts again? What if I start panicking again? No, please don't..." In this case you feel powerless, that nothing depends on you, that fear is stronger than you and you are at its mercy. Instead say to yourself: "Okay, I'm ready for this. I don't want to experience panic, but if it starts, I'm ready for it." In this case, you make your own decision about how to relate to what is happening. This is your decision, not the decision of fear. In this way, you put yourself equally with fear or even above fear. In my experience, fear and panic are somehow related to domination – the strength of fear and the weakness of the person, the power of fear and the submission of the person. If you stop feeling like a victim, the fear disappears.
In the second stage, when the panic attack has already started, you also need to stop feeling like a victim of fear. You have seen the phrase "Fight or Flight mode" many times. I suggest you choose Fight mode – face your fear head-on. Remember the behavior of bullies who often fight and call names – they are not afraid of anyone, but everyone is afraid of them. In a moment of panic, you need to get into the role of such a bully and start to fight the panic. Treat the panic as an enemy and be confident in your victory. Use rude or obscene language towards the panic, you can start waving your arms in the air (just don't injure yourself accidentally). Also, don't aim to reduce or avoid fear – it doesn't work. On the contrary, try to increase the fear – only then you will not feel like a victim. Example of dialogue (swearing) with panic: "Go on! Try to intensify!!! Try as hard as you can!!! Come on! Scare me more!!!"
There is a video on YouTube showing this technique, but I don’t recommend watching it, because it can exacerbate symptoms. If you decide to watch this video, be prepared to apply this or the next technique.
[POV] Panic Attacks & DPDR Simulation (TRIGGER WARNING)

Freeze response

Usually a panic attack is felt as Fight or Flight mode, but sometimes there is panic in the form of Freeze response. In my case it felt like consternation, sense of dread, dissociation, also visual noise and tinnitus appeared.
In my experience, to suppress this type of panic attack you need to return to a conscious state – to focus your attention on something. Try using internal self-talk to focus your attention and reduce stress. Call yourself by name and talk to yourself for a few minutes. For example, try to calm yourself. Also try to comment on your actions – what you are doing now or what you are going to do later. Mentally pronounce every sentence, every word. You can ask yourself questions and give answers to them. It does not matter what kind of self-talk you will have – the main thing is to have it as consciously as possible, completely concentrate on it.
By the way, concentration and mindfulness can be trained through meditation. For example, during mindfulness meditation a person concentrates on thoughts, breathing or surrounding sounds.
YouTube video about internal self-talk:
Is it normal to talk to yourself?
Vox article about meditation:
A guide to meditation for people who think they can’t meditate

Other fears

Other fears can also lead to panic attacks and worsen symptoms. I think many people in this situation will tend to catastrophize because there is a frightening sense of the unknown. At least that's how it was for me. Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that prompts people to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very limited information or objective reason to despair.^\41]) Experiencing anxiety about your condition is completely normal. But I want to caution you against catastrophizing, because it is the reason why your symptoms can get worse and last longer. On the contrary, be optimistic and confident in your abilities. Be confident that you can overcome this challenge. The less stress you experience, the faster you will recover.
The main fear that comes up in this situation is the fear that the symptoms will last for a long time. Everyone fears it, but everyone recovers over time. You can be sure of that. Everyone has a different duration of symptoms, but in most cases, significant improvement is seen in as little as 3 months. Also, symptoms may last longer due to co-occurring drug use or co-existing mental illness.
The next fear is that your personality has changed, that you have permanently lost your former sense of self and emotions. That's also not true. Over time, you will fully return to normal and feel the same as you did before taking Lion's Mane. This feeling is called Depersonalization-Derealization (DPDR) and it passes with time.^\27])
Other fears may also appear. For example, fear of developing severe and incurable diseases, of damaging some body systems, etc. If a medical diagnosis from multiple qualified doctors does not confirm your concerns, you are probably catastrophizing.

Depersonalization-Derealization

The main cause of DPDR is panic attacks, which we have already learned to control. Here is a quote from a scientific article:

"This condition can be accompanied by a sense of unreality about the outside world and by out-of-body experiences, and is believed to be a defensive mechanism of the brain in order to protect the organism in acute anxiety or traumatic situations."

It is also important to avoid anxious thoughts. You should start doing normal activities and not fixate on your health condition. Don't read articles and posts about diseases. Try to pretend that you are feeling normal. Express positive emotions like an actor.
You can also try grounding techniques. Let's suppose you are walking down a city street. Concentrate on the present moment. You don't have to walk being deep in thought. On the contrary, start paying maximum attention to everything around you. Activate your sensory perception.
Name things you see: passing cars, people, buildings, signs and shop windows, streetlights, trees, birds...
Name things you hear: the sounds of cars, people's voices, the rustling of leaves...
Name things you smell: the smell from a cafe or a bakery, the smell from a perfume shop...
Name things that touch your skin: wind, clothes, shoes...
Concentrate on the present moment and on your sensory perception. When you learn how to do this, try not to name objects and feelings with words, but just to notice them. It is also called mindfulness. You can stay in this state several times a day. It improves well-being and mood even in healthy people.
More grounding techniques:
18 grounding techniques to help relieve anxiety
Excellent YouTube video with 3 steps to treat DPDR:
How I recovered from depersonalization disorder...

Dysphoria and suicidal thoughts

If you have these symptoms, you need to follow these steps:

1. Identify negative and suicidal thoughts. These thoughts may be based on self-criticism, perfectionism, contempt for oneself or others, anger and rage, feelings of shame, feelings of failure, hopelessness, and a gloomy view of your past, present and future.
2. Realize that these thoughts are caused by an imbalance of neurotransmitters that leads to a distorted perception of reality. You need to separate those emotions and thoughts from your "real" self. Do not allow these thoughts to develop, even if they seem reasoned and truthful.
3. Practice self-compassion instead of self-judgment. Try to treat yourself as a friend, not an enemy. Always check what you are saying to yourself in your inner speech.

This will not eliminate your dysphoria completely, but it will help you see things more clearly so that you don't make irreversible mistakes. If your emotions are unbearable or there is a risk of self-harm, then see a doctor.
A must read for anyone who has ever suffered from depression or anxiety:
Self-compassion makes you a better person. Here’s how to practice it.
The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself
Self-Compassion Test

Important tips

• Temporarily avoid physical stress because it stimulates the Central Nervous System. Intense sports, hard work and heat causes physical stress;
• Do not use stimulants: caffeine, alcohol, drugs;
• Take a rest periodically. Simply get into a comfortable position and do nothing for at least 5 minutes. You can close your eyes if you want. Browsing content on the smartphone is not a replacement for such rest;
• Do not suppress the expressions of negative emotions. For example, do not suppress body trembling or tears – these are the body's natural ways to release stress and restore normal functioning. By the way, crying is a form of self-compassion which was mentioned above;
• If you can't fall asleep, don't try to do it through force – sit down and try breathing techniques to reduce anxiety. See a doctor if you have persistent insomnia;
• Use a lamp or nightlight if anxiety is enhanced in a dark environment;
• Talking to people you trust can reduce symptoms. But you should avoid toxic people who violate psychological boundaries;
• It is very important to consume only positive content. Fully immerse yourself in something that used to evoke positive emotions. Don't watch/listen/read anything that lowers your mood or causes anxiety. A comedy movie is much better than action movies or articles about diseases. Before writing this post, I was feeling normal, but as I was writing it, my symptoms partly returned. This happened because I was fully immersed in this negative topic. I took a break for a week to get back to normal;
• Be gentle with yourself, don't criticize or blame yourself. Praise yourself for your resilience!
• Be optimistic, self-confident and persistent. The more you believe in your ability to take control of your condition, the faster you will recover.

Supplements

Chamomile tea has long been used for calmness and sleep disorders. Some authors reported that the sedative effect is due to a flavonoid, apigenin, found in chamomile. Apigenin acts by binding to benzodiazepine receptors present in the brain.^\42])
Chamomile is likely safe when used in amounts commonly found in teas. It might be safe when used orally for medicinal purposes over the short term. Side effects are uncommon and may include nausea, dizziness, and allergic reactions. Rare cases of anaphylaxis (a life-threatening allergic reaction) have occurred in people who consumed or came into contact with chamomile products.^\43])
Examine: Apigenin
Supplemental GABA in the dose range of 20 to 300 mg has been used to improve sleep quality, mood and markers of stress, while a dose of 800 mg has been used to improve attention.^\44])
Oral supplementation with GABA appears to be fairly safe and well-tolerated, with no evidence of toxicity in animal studies or serious side effects in human studies. However, abdominal discomfort, headache, and drowsiness has been documented following supplementation with GABA.^\44])
Examine: GABA
WebMD Reviews: GABA

Doctors

Experience has shown that going to a doctor does not always bring results. If your doctor does not believe in long-lasting effects after Lion's Mane, he or she is incompetent. As far as I understand it, doctors rarely deal with Substance-Induced Disorders (SIDs) and therefore they are not always aware that these diagnoses are listed in ICD-10 and other classifications. By the way, you can learn more about SIDs in this post. A good option would be to see a psychiatrist specializing in DPDR or Anxiety Disorders. The ideal option is to see a specialist with experience in treating SIDs.
The question remains, what is better – to take medication in the hope of reducing symptoms or to use psychotherapy and wait for the body to recover on its own? Doctors cannot guarantee the safety of using medication, so the decision is yours. My personal opinion (possibly wrong) – if the symptoms are unbearable or too prolonged, medication is needed. In other cases, psychotherapy, chamomile tea and time will help you.
A sample list of doctor specialties:

• Psychiatrist or psychotherapist specializing in Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder or Anxiety Disorders;
• Psychiatrist or psychotherapist with experience treating Substance-Induced Disorders (SIDs);
• Neurologist and use of fMRI – in case of long-term physical or mental symptoms (rare cases);
• Toxicologist for suspected poisoning by foreign substances (rare cases).

Conclusion

Obviously this post cannot be called "The Complete Guide". This title was chosen to attract attention. But hopefully I was able to collect the most valuable information here so you could speed up the recovery.
P.S. I made a full recovery 7 months after the onset of symptoms. In the first 3 months, the symptoms gradually decreased. Over the next 4 months there were several "flashbacks" that I managed thanks to the techniques and tips listed in this post.
References are listed in this post.

[INDEX]
The Patriarch’s manor was a fortified building built in a pseudo greco-roman style with large fluted columns, white marble walls, and a thick guard wall encapsulating the sizeable and well manicured grounds. It was as much a work of art as it was a fortress.
“We were summoned by the Patriarch,” Silas said to the guards at the gate, handing over the envelope Sheriff Hugo had given us.
“You’re expected,” the guard said after glancing at the papers. “Leave your horses here.”
We dismounted and were admitted entrance to the inner grounds. The guard escorted us to the manor, bypassing the front door to lead us around to the servants entrance on the side where a stereotypical butler was waiting for us.
“If the gentlemen would be so good as to leave their weapons with me,” he said, “I will deliver them to the Patriarch.”
Silas and I surrendered our gun belts to the butler.
As the butler led us through the labyrinthine corridors of the manor, his demeanour remained steadfast and composed. His back was ramrod straight, his steps measured and silent upon the polished marble floors. Each door we passed bore intricate carvings and handles adorned with opulent designs, hinting at the wealth within.
Richly dyed tapestries hung from the walls, their vibrant hues adding warmth to the otherwise cool atmosphere. Elegant paintings in oversized gilded frames adorned the spaces between, each masterpiece a testament to the Patriarch's refined taste. Landscapes dominated the collection, their serene scenes offering a stark contrast to the tension that hung in the air as we ventured further into the heart of the manor.
Pausing before a set of ornate double doors manned by a duo of guards, we waited until some unseen signal was passed, then the guards opened them to reveal the interior beyond.
The room was spacious, yet intimate with walls adorned in rich tapestries depicting scenes of local history and triumphs of Silvertown. At the centre of the room sat an intricately carved throne of mahogany, draped in brocade which displayed the colours of the city crest. Two ornate braziers flanked the throne, filled with the pale-yellow light stones that seemed to be so common in this world. A massive chandelier set with the same stones hung from the ceiling, filling the room with a warm golden light.
The Patriarch sat on his throne, a deep scowl etched across his face. He was a large man, broad shouldered, heavy with muscle. His face was smooth shaven, with thick lips and stern, chiseled features. A sword lay casually across his knees.
With each step the air around me grew heavier, more oppressive. His scowl deepened as his gaze locked onto mine, sending a shiver down my spine. It felt like he was peeling away layers of my resolve with every step I took, leaving me exposed and vulnerable in his presence.
\Ding**
[Intimidation detected]
Knowing I was under the influence of [Intimidation] did nothing to alleviate its effects. This man held my life in his hands and could do with it as he pleased. He was the law in this city, the final arbiter of justice, and as a non-citizen I could be cut down by him or the guards standing along the walls without any consequences whatsoever.
A dozen steps from the throne Silas dropped to his knee, placed his right fist over his heart and bowed his head. I gratefully followed suit, relieved that I wouldn’t have to look at the Patriarch any more.
“Citizen Silas McLain of Comstock and Peregrinus Vinnie Carter of Albion,” Patriarch Mathies said, his voice a rumbling volcano promising destruction. “You have entered my city and interfered in my business, your ignorance causing me no minor amount of trouble.”
Silas said nothing, and I was happy to keep my mouth shut.
“What have you to say?” Mathies asked, the question hanging in the air like the blade of a guillotine.
Silas cleared his throat “We have sought lawbreakers in Silvertown and executed Midlands justice,” He said.
“And you, outlander Vinnie. You take a knee and clench your fist. Do you seek to pledge yourself to myself and the Midlands, or are you merely ignorant?”
“Ignorant,” I answered.
“Then stand before me as a citizen of Albion and representative of your Queen,” Mathies commanded.
I rose to my feet and met the eyes of the man, his [Intimidation] pressing down on me like a rock.
“The man known as ‘Blackheart Bill’, notorious for his crimes, has taken my daughter hostage and leveraged my weakness as a father to snatch away the children of my citizens,” The Patriarch said, motioning to his guards. “He has demanded that you be turned over to him. In exchange he will release the hostages he has taken. You will be escorted to the exchange location by my men. Go.”
Two guards stepped from the walls and escorted us from the throne room and into another where we waited while preparations were made.
“Hey kid,” Silas said, plopping down on a velvet sofa. “That inventory of yours works anywhere?”
“Yeah?” I answered, taking a seat across from him. “Pretty sure. It hasn’t given me any problems so far.”
Silas smiled, a wicked thing to see. “Then I have a plan. Listen up.”
An hour later we were escorted from the room, which was the nicest holding cell I’d ever been in since it came with tea and biscuits served by a genuine maid.
Outside the manor, ten of the Patriarch’s personal guards were waiting on horseback along with a swanky carriage pulled by two horses. Silas approached the captain of the guards and spoke with him for a minute.
The captain stared hard at Silas, then waved to one of the guards who dismounted and returned to the house. Five minutes later we were on the road, guns strapped to our hips. Nudging Horse closer to Silas as we moved through the streets, I leaned over as if I were speaking to him confidentially and reached out to touch his pistol, willing it into inventory along with my own. If the guards behind us noticed anything, they said nothing.
We exited the north gate of Silvertown, continuing down the only road for a mile before it split. One fork lead directly west to the silver mines in the Rucuse mountains, the other lead northwest, following the foot of the mountains. We took the northwest fork, called River Road, that followed the narrow Silver river as it flowed from the mountains and eastwards towards Colonia.
It was twenty miles to our destination and we rode at a good pace along the road as it wound through the savanna. As we rode in silence, I had plenty of time for introspection, my mind wandering over the events of the last few days. Tossed into some fantasy world. Discovered my mind was a chaotic mess of shambling zombies. Gained a patron god, which seemed strange. Why had I agreed to that? It didn’t change the fact that I was still a psychic, had literally purchased the skill, but now I was tied to Delas the Noble Vagabond. At least it made Silas happy. I guess people here are weird about atheists.
Became a bounty hunter. Killed people.
To be fair, those people were trying to kill me and I hadn’t killed anyone in cold blood, not yet. But that day was going to arrive sooner than later. Some day, perhaps even today, I was going to feel justified in ending a life out of nothing more than convenience.
Hell, I had [Disassembled] dead bandits into experience and loot with nothing more than mild distaste. Is this who I always was? Did selecting the profession change me somehow? I don’t feel like a psychopath but if old-me viewed my actions at a distance, I sure was acting like one.
Twenty miles to the northwest of Silvertown was an area called the ‘Broken Mess’ by the locals and Rutu'disestri by the natives, which was a maze of twisting canyons filled with spike brush and deadwood trees. It was a section of badlands that covered dozens of miles and contained enough trace moon silver to confound scrying and other types of divination. Blackheart Bill wasn’t the first group of bandits to use the area as a hideout, despite its inhospitable nature and predilection for attracting or spawning various hostile creatures. The area also attracted prospectors who had dug into the walls of the canyon chasing tiny veins of moon silver until the entire area looked like Swiss cheese that had been nibbled on by unusually-sized rats.
The road split again at the Silver river where a sturdy stone bridge was placed some distance away from a waterfall that spilled into a canyon that it had carved over the last few million years. Across the bridge the road continued into the distance, following the mountains as they marched into the Northlands. A smaller, but no less travelled path was cut into the canyon wall and descended into the belly of the labyrinthine collection of canyons and followed the narrow river as it fed into the Yellow river and then flowed to the Colonia Gap.
A group of three men on horseback near the bridge approached as we arrived, the lead rider holding up a thick scroll tied with twine.
“We’ll take over from here,” The man said, his weathered face split by a gap-toothed grin, tossing the scroll into the dirt and placing a hand on his gun. “That map shows the location of the traps guarding the brats.”
“Where’s the Patriarch’s daughter?” The guard captain asked, clearly upset that the deal wasn’t going as expected.
“You’ll get her just as soon as we deliver these two,” Gap-tooth said. “Just wait here for a couple hours.”
The captain looked like he had swallowed a mouthful of bitter medicine, but waved his hand at us to move towards the bandits.
Two of the bandits nudged their horses over to me and Silas, examining our empty gun belts. “No guns,” one reported.
“Where’s your guns?” Gap-tooth asked.
“The patriarch’s butler took them,” I said, truthfully.
Gap-tooth looked over to the captain, who just nodded.
Satisfied with the response, the three bandits encircled us and pointed towards the road that lead into the Broken Mess. “Try anything stupid and you’ll regret it,” He warned.
With that, we descended into the canyon with him leading and the other two goons following. The road sloped down the canyon wall at a gentle incline which indicated it had been built with wagon traffic in mind. Soon enough it levelled out to join a well travelled road with the Silver river on our right. Gap-tooth led us along the road, keeping close to the canyon walls. Just before the road split to follow a dry canyon he waved his hat in the air and was answered by a guard who stood and waved his hat in return. We passed the guard who had crouched back down and was nearly invisible in the tumbled boulders that were strewn across the path.
We ambled along the trail, following our captors as they went down one dry canyon after another, picking them seemingly at random. I pulled up my [MAP] for a bird’s eye view of the area.
It would be so easy to get lost in this mess.
After an hour of travel and signals exchanged with another three sentries, we arrived at the bandit camp. A handful of rough tents were scattered around an old cabin made of weathered wood. Behind the cabin was a crude wood door set into the canyon wall, along with a bandit standing guard next to it.
Looking around, I did a quick headcount. Eight men were visible, another four were standing sentry duty in the canyons, and Blackheart Bill himself was standing on the porch of the tiny cabin. He was a tall man, over six foot, lean, with a frame hardened by years spent on the run. His face was etched with scars and his dark eyes filled with murder.
[INDEX]

I just closed on a house with several raised beds that have been taken over by bindweed. I've been doing a lot of reading to come up with a strategy and am considering an unconventional approach detailed below.
If I am being a big dummy please say so
tldr There is a lot of research on the use of Peruvian black mint (Tagetes minuta) for weed control. The plant itself is allelopathic against bindweed (Convolvulus arvensis). I am considering testing three methods of using this plant to control bindweed in my yard: planting it alongside bindweed, creating a compost tea of the plant and creating a tea of culinary black mint paste.
I am 100% open to being talked out of this!
Proposal
Planting in bindweed-infested beds
My plan is to start T. minuta seeds indoors in cowpots, then use the method here to encourage root growth before planting in the ground. Basically, germinate the seed in a seed starter pot, then put the whole thing into a larger pot filled with a coarse mix. This will allow the root ball to expand and give the roots direct contact with the soil when planted outside. My hope is that this gives the plant a head start against bindweed.
Downsides: T. minuta is not native here. There's a risk that I'm trading one invasive for another. Additionally, the plant just might not grow well here (it is, after all, a tropical) and bindweed will simply kill it.
T. minuta tea
In this method, I will grow T. minuta in containers. Once mature, I will harvest the leaves and flowers and make a tea from them which I will pour over the bindweed. If needed I can grow it indoors under a grow light.
Advantages: not planting an invasive in the ground. Full-spectrum extract perhaps gives a good chance of ensuring the allelopathic compounds in the leaves and flowers come into contact with bindweed.
Downside: have to wait for the seeds to grow into mature plants. If anyone wants to participate in this experiment and is already growing some I would be greatly appreciative if you're willing to let me have some leaves and flowers.
Tea from huacatay/black mint paste
Black mint paste can be found in some latin american grocery stores or ordered online. It is a culinary condiment made from the leaves of the black mint plant which are known to be allelopathic.
Advantages: can order the stuff on amazon and start this week.
Downside: who the hell knows if the allelopathic compounds in the plant are present in the paste.
T. minuta essential oil
I considered trying to find essential oil of this plant but have not been successful so I ruled this method out.
Citations
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/264070203_Allelopathy_of_Tagetes_minuta_L_Aqueous_Extracts_on_Seed_Germination_and_Root_Hair_Growth
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/275774796_Allelopathic_Potential_of_the_Essential_Oil_of_Wild_Marigold_Tagetes_minuta_L_Against_Some_Invasive_Weeds
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290094383_Tagetes_Tagetes_minuta_Oils
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0305197808001592
Encyclopaedia of Herbs and their Uses
The New Royal Horticultural Society dictionary (of gardening): index of garden plants

~Part 3 Luna Baby~
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Luna Baby.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be rooms for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR. Competing in battles while dress cute and facing off with others. I would encourage and flatter those that send virtual gifts that could be exchanged for gifts. I would message and ask for WeChat account numbers to talk to them and I would be an emotional prostitute pretending to love and be interested in them for the hopes of more gifts. Methods of manipulation would be used as in begging, guilt tripping a viewer, and love bombing them. Often middle aged men would pretend to be the female host.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen—a life set to end in misery—a fate.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.

~Final~
Easily happy fooling ourselves.
Something unusual happened as thoughts transplanted and I became more aware of everything around me. Luna Baby and the girl made of paper were identical twins disconnected.
I’m from Luoyang in Henan but work in a city further away in Zhengzhou. I am a migrant worker. Always missing my wife as I grow distant from her. Our seven year old daughter Leina goes to school and lives with my mother in law who helps to raise her. My wife Ai works at a factory in Guangzhou. In China there is something called the huko system. It is a government official book that shows the family and ties them to a city and region. Somebody cannot receive access to government help such as public education.
I had the feeling and paranoia my wife must be seeing someone else amongst her loneliness in Guangzhou. The feelings at me up.
I worked at a factory for Foxconn (Taiwanese owned)—the largest facility was in Zhengzhou where they built the iPhone—a symbol of capitalism—a symbol to distract ourselves from ungodliness and discontent. Deceive ourselves to be happy. Vampires of society suck us dry on screens. I’m unhappy.
Are you just like me?
To escape from suffocating from worries I look Luna baby while smoking hashish. Send her gifts to make a hole in me. Then I get to be happy. Life gets into a routine m, swim or drown—when I get bored I get unhappy.
Being alienated as a worker with no family or support around me. It makes me weak. Weak like so many things I noticed in Henan.
The yellow river through the city looked like something that could eat the weak—crumble like buildings built quickly only to be empty. I had colleagues who went to the banks to find there was no money they pull out. Everyone felt uneasy. Just like when COVID had broken out. It also made us all in the city feel weak and uneasy like stilts in sand. Tractors dropped rocks and trees on the exits from the city. We could not leave even if we wanted to.
The sickle and hammer worked to use violence to make the working class to keep making the iPhone. It felt Beijing hated Henan. I felt distant from elites like I was to my wife. I could smell a flooding coming.
Our phones had to carry COVD Identification. If somebody had a green dot it meant to COVID or contact with others with COVID. Red meant that one was considered a contact and needed to be isolated and couldn’t be out. When people were upset with the collapse of local banks they went to the banks in protest. Before plain clothes police of the communist party came and use violence against the working class, protestors had their codes turned to red to force them to shut up and kept isolated from home to not be a nuisance.
Discontent grew under the baton of the party. People were welded into their apartments if the apartment building had cases. One building apartment had burned down and everyone died inside as they were trapped in the confines of the apartment.
I felt barricaded in the factory. We were not getting our allowances and we were being forced to stay amongst our rooms with those positive with the virus. Virus was becoming like a baton to beat us. Like kettles of corn we began to pop in our dormitories. We began to feel discontent and corned within the premises of the factory. I can smell rain like my mind knows flood waters are coming. There is a myth in China called the heavens mandate—a sort of supernatural belief. It is considered import in China to respect authority figures in our lives—this includes parents to leaders of the country—but if things fall apart or if there are natural disasters, it is indicative that heaven wants the people to replace the leader—it is a time to revolt and make demands. It felt like one of those times.
I was amongst the chaos. In the yard of the factory where men in white hazmat suits came with metals poles to clash with the workers.
The speakers were set up by police and security and the workers had speakers too, echoing back at each other like a badminton match.
Luna Baby was on her phone far away like Chang’e on the moon.

So, I had published this post on BrainFitness earlier - My simple Brain Fog treatment guide, this one is the advanced version (along with some recommended supplements).

Understanding Brain Fog

Ever felt like your brain is wrapped in a thick, invisible fog? Brain fog is that frustrating sensation of mental cloudiness, where thinking clearly becomes a Herculean task. You might struggle with concentration, memory, and even simple decision-making.
Quick Note (For those who don't want to read whole thing)
Mind Lab Pro is my recommended all-in-one multi-ingredient supplement for brain fog, and The Sperti lamp is my recommended sun lamp to help maintain serotonin production and regulate your circadian rhythm.
So, what's causing this mental murkiness? Stress is a big culprit, flooding your system with cortisol and throwing your brain into overdrive.
A poor diet lacking essential nutrients or causing inflammation (think gluten, dairy) can also be the cause.
And let's not forget lack of sleep—if your brain doesn't get enough downtime, it can't function at its best.
For some, brain fog seems worse in the winter, but why? Reduced sunlight plays a huge role. Less sunlight means lower levels of serotonin, the mood-regulating neurotransmitter, and vitamin D, both crucial for brain health.
Shorter days and colder weather often lead to less time spent outdoors, exacerbating these effects. So, when the sun's hiding, your brain might feel like it's hibernating too.

The Science Behind Brain Fog

My treatment guide is based on following key points related to brain fog/depression:-

• Serotonin Theory of Depression:
  • Popularized in the 1960s, this theory suggests depression is due to low levels of serotonin, the "happy" chemical.
  • Increasing serotonin levels was thought to magically cure depressive symptoms.
  • However, this is an oversimplification, and recent studies challenge this view.
  • A 2022 meta-analysis of 361 studies found no relationship between depression and lower serotonin levels.
• SSRIs and Depression:
  • Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) sometimes alleviate depressive symptoms.
  • SSRIs increase growth factors in the brain after 3-6 months of use.
  • SSRIs also reduce brain inflammation, which can help improve mood and cognition.
• Neurotrophic Factor Theory of Depression:
  • This theory focuses on the role of growth factors like BDNF, NGF, and GDNF in neuron development, survival, and plasticity.
  • Reduced neurotrophic function can lead to a decline in mood, cognition, and overall function.
  • Decreased neuroplasticity makes it difficult for individuals to break negative thought patterns and change behaviors. (An important point for those who can't seem to get out of negative thought patterns!)
• Cytokine Theory of Depression:
  • Depression is linked to neuroinflammation and the presence of pro-inflammatory cytokines in the brain.
  • Cytokines may induce depression by:
    • Modulating activity in the HPA axis.
    • Causing hyperactivity of the HPA axis and suppressing glucocorticoid negative feedback on CRH release.
    • Downregulating serotonin synthesis.
    • Dysfunctioning dopaminergic neurons in the basal ganglia, leading to anhedonia and low energy.

Explanation (laymen style)

Let's dive into the nitty-gritty of what's happening in your brain. Serotonin, often dubbed the "feel-good" chemical, is directly influenced by sunlight. Sun exposure boosts serotonin production, which helps regulate mood, appetite, and sleep.
Especially in winter, reduced sunlight means less serotonin, leading to mood dips and cognitive sluggishness.
But there's more to the story. Meet the neurotrophic factors: BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor), NGF (Nerve Growth Factor), and GDNF (Glial Cell Line-Derived Neurotrophic Factor).
These guys are essential for the growth, survival, and plasticity of neurons. When their levels drop, so does your brain's ability to adapt and stay sharp. Think of them as your brain's personal trainers, keeping it fit and agile.
Now, let’s talk about cytokines—specifically, pro-inflammatory cytokines. These are immune system proteins that, when overactive, can lead to neuroinflammation. High levels of these cytokines have been linked to depression and cognitive impairment.

Reduced serotonin synthesis, disrupted dopamine pathways, and an overactive HPA axis (your body's stress response system) can all result from chronic inflammation, making your brain feel foggy.

Understanding these factors highlights why brain fog isn't just "in your head." It's a complex interplay of neurochemicals and environmental influences. And knowing this is the first step to hacking your way out of the fog.

Lifestyle Changes to Combat Brain Fog

Morning Sunlight Exposure

If you're looking to clear the mental haze, morning sunlight exposure is a game-changer. Sunlight in the morning helps reset your circadian rhythm, the internal clock that dictates your sleep-wake cycle. Plus, it boosts serotonin production, which is crucial for mood regulation and cognitive function.
So, how do you get your daily dose? Aim for at least 30 minutes of sunlight exposure within an hour of waking up. Even if it's cloudy, the natural light is beneficial. Try sipping your morning coffee outside or taking a brisk walk. If you’re stuck indoors, sit near a window where the light streams in. Remember, consistency is key. Making this a daily habit can make a noticeable difference in your mental clarity and energy levels.

Zone 2 Cardio 5x Per Week

When it comes to exercise, Zone 2 cardio is a secret weapon against brain fog. Zone 2 refers to a moderate intensity level, where your heart rate is about 60-70% of its maximum.
At this pace, you can still hold a conversation, making it perfect for long, steady sessions. This type of cardio enhances neurotrophic factors like BDNF, boosts serotonin and dopamine levels, and reduces neuroinflammation.
If you’re wondering how to get started, think activities like brisk walking, cycling, or swimming. Aim for about 30-60 minutes per session, five times a week. You don't need fancy equipment or a gym membership—consistency and commitment are what count. This routine not only clears your mind but also keeps your body in top shape, making it a win-win.

Sauna Exposure

Adding regular sauna sessions to your routine can work wonders for your brain health. Heat exposure from a sauna boosts the production of neurotrophic factors and significantly reduces inflammation. This means your brain cells can thrive, and the fog can lift.
To get the most out of a sauna, aim for 30 minutes per session, three times a week. Start slow if you're new to it, gradually increasing your time as your body adapts. Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water before and after your session.
The heat can be intense, so listen to your body and step out if you feel uncomfortable. A regular sauna habit can become a relaxing and beneficial part of your routine, supporting both mental clarity and overall well-being.

Sun Lamp Usage

When natural sunlight is scarce, especially in winter, a sun lamp can be a fantastic alternative. These lamps mimic the spectrum of natural sunlight, helping to maintain serotonin production and regulate your circadian rhythm. This can be particularly helpful for combating Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and associated brain fog.
For effective use, choose a lamp that provides 10,000 lux of light and use it for about 20-30 minutes each morning. Place the lamp about 16-24 inches away from your face, ensuring the light hits your eyes indirectly.
The Sperti lamp is a popular FDA-approved option. Position it at a slight angle to avoid staring directly into the light. Consistent use, especially during the darker months, can significantly improve your mood and cognitive function, helping to keep that brain fog at bay.

Here are some of the supplements I recommend to increase mood, energy, and cognition

1). Mind Lab Pro

I recommend Mind Lab Pro because it combines these powerful ingredients to effectively tackle brain fog, enhance mental clarity, and boost overall cognitive performance.
The inclusion of Citicoline and Phosphatidylserine supports brain energy and cellular health, enhancing focus and memory. Bacopa Monnieri and Lion’s Mane Mushroom are powerful adaptogens and neuroprotectors that promote neurogenesis and reduce anxiety, contributing to better stress management and cognitive resilience.
N-Acetyl L-Tyrosine and L-Theanine enhance neurotransmitter production and promote a state of relaxed alertness, helping you stay focused and calm under pressure. Rhodiola Rosea and Maritime Pine Bark Extract further support cognitive function by reducing fatigue, improving blood flow to the brain, and providing antioxidant protection.
Mind Lab Pro ingredients- Citicoline (250 mg): Known for boosting brain energy and enhancing focus, citicoline is excellent for improving cognitive function and clearing brain fog.
Bacopa Monnieri (150 mg): This herb enhances memory and reduces anxiety, making it perfect for those struggling with brain fog and stress.
Organic Lion’s Mane Mushroom (500 mg): Promotes neurogenesis and supports brain health, which helps improve mental clarity and reduce cognitive decline.
Phosphatidylserine (100 mg): This compound aids in maintaining healthy cell membranes in the brain, improving memory and cognitive function.
N-Acetyl L-Tyrosine (175 mg): Enhances neurotransmitter production, which boosts mental performance and helps combat brain fog.
L-Theanine (100 mg): Known for promoting relaxation without drowsiness, L-theanine helps improve focus and cognitive function.
Rhodiola Rosea (50 mg): This adaptogen reduces fatigue and enhances mental performance, making it a great ally against brain fog.
Maritime Pine Bark Extract (75 mg): Rich in antioxidants, it improves blood flow to the brain, enhancing cognitive function and reducing brain fog.

2). Saffron

If you've ever tried real saffron extract, you know it delivers a pretty instant boost in mood, energy, and cognition. This powerful spice works by increasing monoamines in the brain and blocking the 5HT2C receptor. Why does this matter? Well, activation of the 5HT2C receptor is thought to drive many of the side effects associated with SSRIs, including sexual dysfunction. By blocking this receptor, saffron can help enhance mood without the downsides.
But that's not all. Saffron also has antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties, which contribute to overall brain health. When I'm looking to lift my spirits quickly and sharpen my focus, saffron is my go-to. For those of you looking to try it, I recommend starting with a dose of 30 mg per day. Trust me, it’s a small addition to your routine with big benefits.

3). Cognance

You probably know Cognance by now. This supplement features ebelin lactone, which agonizes the 5HT2A receptor, similar to microdosing psychedelics. Activation of these receptors not only promotes better mood and cognition but also enhances neurogenesis both acutely and in the long term.
For those unfamiliar, neurogenesis is the process of forming new neurons in the brain. More neurons mean better brain function and resilience. Cognance effectively boosts my mood and cognitive function, giving me that edge I need during the day. If you're looking to try it, start with the recommended dose on the package and see how it transforms your mental clarity and energy.

4). Lion's Mane Extract

When it comes to supplements, Lion's Mane Extract is a real game-changer. This superfood is packed with compounds that promote neurogenesis by increasing levels of BDNF, GDNF, and NGF. These neurotrophic factors are crucial for the growth, maintenance, and survival of neurons, making Lion's Mane a powerful tool for enhancing brain health.
Clinical evidence suggests that Lion's Mane is effective in treating depression, thanks to its neurogenic properties. One compound in particular, 4'-DMA-7,8-DHF, acts as a BDNF mimetic, stimulating neurogenesis and offering potent antidepressant effects. Personally, I’ve noticed significant improvements in my mood and mental clarity when I incorporate Lion's Mane into my routine. I suggest starting with 500 mg per day and adjusting based on your experience. If you’re dealing with brain fog or just want to boost your cognitive performance, give Lion's Mane a try.

5). 4'-DMA-7,8-DHF

If you're serious about boosting brain power, you need to know about 4'-DMA-7,8-DHF. This modified flavone is a BDNF mimetic, meaning it acts like BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor) in your brain, stimulating neurogenesis. Essentially, it helps grow new neurons, which is crucial for maintaining and enhancing cognitive function.
What makes 4'-DMA-7,8-DHF stand out is its potent antidepressant effects. There's solid evidence showing that this compound can significantly improve mood by mimicking BDNF and stimulating neurogenesis.
Many users attest to its mood-lifting properties. It's like giving your brain a much-needed upgrade.
If you're looking to try 4'-DMA-7,8-DHF, start with a dose of 30 mg per day. You’ll likely notice a boost in mood and cognitive sharpness, making it easier to tackle daily challenges. For those dealing with brain fog or depressive symptoms, this supplement could be a game-changer.

6). Polygala Extract

Polygala Extract is another powerhouse supplement for boosting mood, motivation, energy, and cognition. It works through various mechanisms, making it incredibly effective. First, it inhibits monoamine oxidase, which helps increase levels of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine in the brain. These neurotransmitters are crucial for mood regulation and mental clarity.
Polygala also inhibits monoamine reuptake, further boosting neurotransmitter levels. Additionally, it antagonizes the NMDA receptor, which is involved in brain plasticity and memory function. The end result? A significant lift in mood, energy, and cognitive performance.
Personally, I find Polygala to be one of the best supplements for maintaining a sharp and motivated mindset. If you’re looking to try it, start with a dose of 200 mg per day. It’s a fantastic addition to your routine, especially if you’re battling brain fog or low energy levels. Give it a shot and feel the difference.

7). Fish Oil

Fish oil is a staple in my supplement regimen, and for good reason. It’s packed with omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential for reducing neuroinflammation and improving cognitive function. These fatty acids, particularly EPA and DHA, support brain health by promoting cell membrane fluidity and reducing inflammation.
Fish oil is also evidenced as an effective solo treatment for depression. The omega-3s help regulate neurotransmitters, which can significantly improve mood. Moreover, cod liver oil, a type of fish oil, is a great source of vitamin D, further supporting brain health, especially during the darker months when sunlight is scarce.
I recommend taking 1-2 tablespoons of cod liver oil per day. If you prefer capsules, aim for a dose of 1000-2000 mg of omega-3s daily. Incorporating fish oil into your routine can lead to noticeable improvements in mood, mental clarity, and overall cognitive function. It’s a must-have for anyone looking to optimize their brain health.

8). Magnesium

In my opinion, magnesium should always be part of your supplement stack. It’s involved in over 300 biological processes, including those critical for brain health. Unfortunately, magnesium has been largely removed from our water and soil, making it difficult to get sufficient amounts from food alone.
Magnesium helps alleviate depressive symptoms and supports cognitive function. It plays a crucial role in neurotransmitter regulation and neuroplasticity. From personal experience, supplementing with magnesium has made a significant difference in my mood and mental clarity.
I recommend a daily dose of 400-800 mg. Look for high-quality forms like magnesium glycinate or citrate for better absorption. Consistent supplementation can help clear brain fog, reduce stress, and enhance overall cognitive performance. Don’t overlook this essential mineral; it’s a simple yet powerful way to support your brain.

~Part 3 Luna Baby~
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Luna Baby.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be rooms for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR. Competing in battles while dress cute and facing off with others. I would encourage and flatter those that send virtual gifts that could be exchanged for gifts. I would message and ask for WeChat account numbers to talk to them and I would be an emotional prostitute pretending to love and be interested in them for the hopes of more gifts. Methods of manipulation would be used as in begging, guilt tripping a viewer, and love bombing them. Often middle aged men would pretend to be the female host.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen—a life set to end in misery—a fate.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.

~Final~
Easily happy fooling ourselves.
Something unusual happened as thoughts transplanted and I became more aware of everything around me. Luna Baby and the girl made of paper were identical twins disconnected.
I’m from Luoyang in Henan but work in a city further away in Zhengzhou. I am a migrant worker. Always missing my wife as I grow distant from her. Our seven year old daughter Leina goes to school and lives with my mother in law who helps to raise her. My wife Ai works at a factory in Guangzhou. In China there is something called the huko system. It is a government official book that shows the family and ties them to a city and region. Somebody cannot receive access to government help such as public education.
I had the feeling and paranoia my wife must be seeing someone else amongst her loneliness in Guangzhou. The feelings at me up.
I worked at a factory for Foxconn (Taiwanese owned)—the largest facility was in Zhengzhou where they built the iPhone—a symbol of capitalism—a symbol to distract ourselves from ungodliness and discontent. Deceive ourselves to be happy. Vampires of society suck us dry on screens. I’m unhappy.
Are you just like me?
To escape from suffocating from worries I look Luna baby while smoking hashish. Send her gifts to make a hole in me. Then I get to be happy. Life gets into a routine m, swim or drown—when I get bored I get unhappy.
Being alienated as a worker with no family or support around me. It makes me weak. Weak like so many things I noticed in Henan.
The yellow river through the city looked like something that could eat the weak—crumble like buildings built quickly only to be empty. I had colleagues who went to the banks to find there was no money they pull out. Everyone felt uneasy. Just like when COVID had broken out. It also made us all in the city feel weak and uneasy like stilts in sand. Tractors dropped rocks and trees on the exits from the city. We could not leave even if we wanted to.
The sickle and hammer worked to use violence to make the working class to keep making the iPhone. It felt Beijing hated Henan. I felt distant from elites like I was to my wife. I could smell a flooding coming.
Our phones had to carry COVD Identification. If somebody had a green dot it meant to COVID or contact with others with COVID. Red meant that one was considered a contact and needed to be isolated and couldn’t be out. When people were upset with the collapse of local banks they went to the banks in protest. Before plain clothes police of the communist party came and use violence against the working class, protestors had their codes turned to red to force them to shut up and kept isolated from home to not be a nuisance.
Discontent grew under the baton of the party. People were welded into their apartments if the apartment building had cases. One building apartment had burned down and everyone died inside as they were trapped in the confines of the apartment.
I felt barricaded in the factory. We were not getting our allowances and we were being forced to stay amongst our rooms with those positive with the virus. Virus was becoming like a baton to beat us. Like kettles of corn we began to pop in our dormitories. We began to feel discontent and corned within the premises of the factory. I can smell rain like my mind knows flood waters are coming. There is a myth in China called the heavens mandate—a sort of supernatural belief. It is considered import in China to respect authority figures in our lives—this includes parents to leaders of the country—but if things fall apart or if there are natural disasters, it is indicative that heaven wants the people to replace the leader—it is a time to revolt and make demands. It felt like one of those times.
I was amongst the chaos. In the yard of the factory where men in white hazmat suits came with metals poles to clash with the workers.
The speakers were set up by police and security and the workers had speakers too, echoing back at each other like a badminton match.
Luna Baby was on her phone far away like Chang’e on the moon.

Some individuals appear to be ~allergic~ to about everything. Other individuals hold that such individuals have an extreme sensitivity to ~electromagnetic radiation~.
What could be going on is that such individuals are very sensitive to dietary antioxidants which are now in about everything. As an initial step individuals could drink only water as about all other drinks are antioxidant-laden.
Almost all antioxidant supplements would have to be stopped. Around RDA amounts of antioxidant vitamins could be supplemented. No biotin should ever be supplemented even in RDA amounts. A sole Essential multivitamin from 21st Century would be supplemented with each dinner. See this ~page~.
A difficulty is that there are lots of dietary antioxidants where such dietary antioxidants have broad effects. Foods and drinks that are plant based, for example, coffee very frequently contain a range of dietary antioxidants. Almost all dietary antioxidants have to be eliminated from diets. Tea and/or coffee have to be avoided due to high levels of antioxidants.
An appropriate ketogenic diet could be of assistances. See this ~post~.
~Caffeine~ can result in release of intracellular calcium by making ryanodine more sensitive. Affects of caffeine from caffeine pills on calcium is ameliorated by treatment of seasonal affective disorder. See this ~post~.
Ten of thousands of research papers have documented that antioxidants can have major effects on biological processes. Millions and millions of individuals have mysterious illnesses almost always held to be polygenetic where such illnesses are not held to be figments of imaginations. Dietary antioxidants are not natural. Until 10,000 years ago there were very low levels of dietary antioxidants in diets. There were no spices, no coffee, no tea, no sodas and no natural flavors.
There are no grounds on Earth for holding that reactive oxygen species for example hydrogen peroxide could not be required by various biological processes. See this ~post~ on hydrogen peroxide. More than a billion individuals could be highly sensitive to dietary antioxidants.

Nowadays, there are so many different types of taco meat; dont assume that we have a few different kinds of taco meat.
There are also plenty of exciting and delicious ways to make taco meat. That even the most seasoned of taco veterans might not have tried yet.
Please read about the different types of taco meat you didn't know you were missing out on and how you can use them to make some extra-extraordinary tacos at home.

Tacos de Canasta

Like tacos al pastor, tacos de canasta are wrapped in serapes (blankets) instead of tortillas. These are often sold from large baskets that hold corn and flour tortillas in Mexico.
Also, Canasta refers to a basket used for carrying things—which makes sense. Tacos de Canasta; these different types of taco meat also come with plenty of extras: onions, cilantro, and salsa, As well as chile Arbol or guajillo peppers which give them a little kick.

Nopales Tacos

You're probably more familiar with nopales as a garnish or salsa, but they're also used in tacos. To make them, you can saute ́ or roast fresh nopales with different types of taco meat ingredients before adding them to a tortilla.
In addition, the texture is similar to green beans. This gives these tacos a slightly crunchy taste and makes them stand out from your typical ground beef tacos.
Nopales are low in calories but high in fiber and vitamin C; keep that in mind when searching for different types of taco meat.

Cochinita Pibil

Pibil is cooked in an underground oven in Yucatec Maya, precisely how cochinita pibil is made. Achiote paste, a spice mix with bright red color and earthy flavor from annatto seeds, is rubbed into pork before marinating with citrus juices and other herbs.
Then it's wrapped in banana leaves before being cooked over hot stones underground. The meat comes out tender, flavorful, and slightly sweet more than other different types of taco meat.

Tacos de Papa

The next on our list of different types of taco meat is Tacos de papa. A staple taco is filling in many Latin American countries and Mexico is called tacos de papas (tacos with potatoes).
It can be made with chicken, beef, or pork and is typically seasoned with cumin. Also, Tacos de papas are often served topped with grated cheese.
If you're looking for something spicy, these are your tacos! The traditional side dish for tacos de papas is guacamole. Use avocado as a substitute for sour cream to cut calories if desired.

Chorizo Tacos

Chorizo–is another type of taco meat that can be sold dried or fresh and can be made from either pork or beef. The most common way to use chorizo is in tacos. But it also adds great flavor to rice, beans, and other Mexican dishes.
In addition, To make authentic-tasting chorizo at home: Sauté 1 pound of ground pork with one diced onion (finely chopped), three cloves minced garlic, two teaspoons ground cumin, one teaspoon kosher salt, and 1⁄4 teaspoon pepper.
Also, Cook until lightly browned (about 8 minutes). Remove from heat and mix in 1⁄2 cup dry red wine and 1⁄2 teaspoon chili powder. Allow the meat mixture to cool before using it in tacos.

Campechanos

As its name implies, campechanos tacos are a blend of traditional pork carnitas and beef Asada. Campechanos is also one of the different types of taco meat.
It is usually served with salsa verde to give it some spice, chopped onions, and cilantro. Campechanos originated in Mexico City, but they have since spread throughout other areas in Mexico and across borders into Texas.
In addition, these tacos are typically small and spicy so that people can enjoy them quickly—after all; you don't want your fillings to get cold! They're often sold at food trucks or street vendors.

Carnitas

Carnitas are seasoned, slow-cooked pork traditionally served in tacos or tortas. However, when you start making carnitas at home, you can use them for breakfast burritos, quesadillas, and even sandwiches.
For example, once you cook a batch of carnitas, it only takes a few minutes to assemble a delicious taco bar that everyone in your family will love. In addition to carnitas meat being versatile enough to be used in multiple dishes, they're super easy to make.
Meanwhile, carnitas is one of the most famous of the different types of taco meat we have. Because the roasting process is simple (no special equipment is needed), and there are countless ways you can season your carnitas depending on what you have on hand. Let your imagination run wild!

Tacos Al Pastor

If you love Mexican food, you've had a taco or two in your life. The classic taco is made with either chicken or beef, folded into a warm tortilla, and topped with salsa and cilantro.
But there's another type of taco that only experienced taco connoisseurs know about—Tacos Al Pastor. These tacos are also filled with beef or pork but have different flavors.
Topped with pineapple chunks, onion, and cilantro, these tacos are brought to life by a searingly spicy adobo-marinated pork (though you can use any meat here).
Some places will even slather their homemade hot sauce for an extra kick. What better way to experience authentic Mexican cuisine than with Tacos Al Pastor?

Tacos de Pescado

The flaky, white fish is often served battered and fried and then topped with shredded cabbage, chipotle mayo, and pico de gallo. In most places in Mexico, you'll find that any taco with de Pescado is made using Tilapia.
However, you can use whatever fresh or frozen white fish you have on hand at home for a similar experience.
Make tacos de once to impress dinner guests at your next get-together. Continue reading as we give you more and more different types of taco meat.

Birria

Birria is a traditional Mexican dish that features a whole lamb or goat cooked in an aromatic broth until tender.
Tacos de birria are not everywhere, and when they are, they're often served on tacos with big chunks of meat. Also, they are topped with cilantro, onion, and slices of radish.
Typically, Tacos de birria are spicy and carry a distinctly gamey flavor that may be off-putting to some. If you're looking for different types of taco meat with something super unique, try these tacos out—but don't expect it to become your new go-to taco filling.

Barbacoa

This Mexican specialty is made with a whole lamb, goat, or sheep slowly cooked over a low fire and then wrapped in maguey leaves.
Barbacoa is usually served on weekends because it takes so long to cook, but we say it's worth it. As another bonus, barbacoa is often cooked in its fat instead of lard or oil, unlike other different types of taco meat.
When you order barbacoa tacos at your favorite taqueria, ask them how they prepare their meat—because traditional recipes may call for more than what you see on the menu.

Shrimp Tacos

Shrimp can sometimes be found in different meat, but it's a more commonly used topping. Cooked shrimp is delicious on top of tacos made with soft tortillas and traditional taco toppings like shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes, onions, and cilantro. Add a squeeze of lime juice and some spicy sauce for an extra kick.
Try pairing shrimp with a seafood-based taco filling like clam or fish for another unique seafood twist. This is among the different taco meat types typically served in corn tortillas topped with shredded cabbage.

Carne Asada

While carne asada translates to grilled meat, it's typically seared over high heat or grilled quickly. Many restaurants feature an array of Mexican steaks, such as skirt steak and flank steak.
But these cuts are just as good for carne asada, which is essentially a slice of different types of taco meat seasoned with salt and pepper before being cooked.
In addition, Traditional carne asada recipes call for marinating your steak first in citrus juices or other seasonings, then cooking it until it's browned on each side (the whole process takes about 15 minutes).
Carne Asada can be prepared on a stovetop or in a grill pan; if you have neither handy, pan-searing and oven roasting work well too. It also tastes excellent piled high atop a salad!

Cabeza

This particular variety uses cow's head meat, which you might be surprised to learn has a milder flavor than you might think.
If you want to taste different types of taco meat or something a little more adventurous, Cabeza tacos are an excellent place to start. Learning how to make your tacos at home is a great way to control what goes into them.
And again, it can help bring you closer with your friends and family over a delicious meal. Who knows? Maybe taco night will become your new favorite tradition. Feel free to spice things up even further by adding some bacon lardons and crispy potatoes!

Cecina Tacos

Like steak tartare, cecina is a popular taco filling found in Baja California and Michoacán. However, unlike steak tartare, cecina is made with beef or pork scraps (the beef version is particularly delicious).
They are among the different types of taco meat mixed with lime juice. Also, chile peppers and a blend of herbs and spices are called petitory.
In both regions, it's usually served atop handmade corn tortillas with diced onion and cilantro. It needs no cheese or tomatoes. It's an acquired taste—my first bite was jarring.
If you can get over that initial hurdle, you'll be rewarded with some super flavorful tacos.

Mixiote Tacos

If you're searching for a new taco filling for Cinco de Mayo or to spice up your taco Tuesday, give Mixiote Tacos a try. This class of different types of taco meat is wrapped in maguey leaves and steamed until tender.
So, what's great about these tacos? They are filled with corn and potatoes as well. You are making them hearty and flavorful. If you want to make some authentic Mixiote Tacos at home, head to Traditional Mexican Cooking for their step-by-step recipe!

Suadero Tacos

Suadero translates to marbled beef in Spanish, which you're getting with suadero tacos. Marbling results from fat throughout an otherwise lean cut of meat.
Suadero, like other different types of taco meat, is a tender cut. This is because it comes from under or around the cow's kidney.
Typically it is made into stewed or braised meat dishes in Mexico. You can also eat it as taco meat, which some chefs in Texas are doing. The trick is how you treat it.
While that marbling means extra deliciousness when prepared right, brutal treatment will result in dry, stringy suadero tacos.

Bistec Tacos

Just like it sounds, these tacos are stuffed with beef and taste best with salsa. If you're trying to limit your consumption of red meat, it might be wise to avoid bistec tacos altogether.
But bistec is a taco lover's dream come true for beef lovers. It's typically not as salty as many other taco types of meat and has a distinct yet smooth flavor.
While eating such a filling taco can leave you feeling quite full afterward. It doesn't contain a lot of extra greases that will keep you bloated or feel nauseous afterward.
Enjoying such a meal is likely to boost your energy levels to stay productive throughout your day without feeling tired by mid-afternoon.

Lechon Tacos

Lechon is a dish that consists of pork that has been roasted in a banana leaf. Typically, Lechon is made for special occasions such as weddings and holidays.
However, there are some areas where it is common to eat Lechon every day. If you visit Cuba or Puerto Rico, you will find many establishments serving dishes made with Lechon.
It has become a staple on almost every menu in these countries. Although Lechon is not widely consumed in Mexico, some restaurants will have it as an option for special orders.
There are different types of taco meat, and each one offers its distinct flavor. Chicken is to make these tacos if you prefer something lighter than traditional pork tacoⁿs.

Arrachera Tacos

Different types of taco meat include the Arrachera taco, also known as a steak taco. It is made with strips of beef skirt steak that have been marinated in an ancho chile-based sauce.
The meat is grilled and then chopped into bite-sized pieces, often served on their own or with some additional garnishes for presentation.
Also, It's a pretty basic dish that does not require any additional add-ons beyond cilantro and onions. Tacos de arracheras are common across Mexico, and both red and dark meat versions can be found throughout all regions.
Conclusion
There are taco experts, and then there are taco amateurs. Some people would argue that tacos are nothing more than a vehicle for ground beef, melted cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and sour cream.
But there's so much more to be said about what is perhaps Mexico's most famous food. Today we want to get you up to speed on all of the different types of taco meat. You can make them at home and provide some recipes for each one. We hope it makes your next Taco Tuesday even better!

Should I remove some mods or move things around ?
Load Order:

• UFO4P
  
• Looted World
  
• Player Responds to pain by EngineGaming
  
• Munitions - Ammo Expansion Project + Vanilla Ammo Addon
  
• USO Base Game , Season Pass ,all of the USO radio mods , performance patch and next gen patch
  
• Settlement Menu Manager
  
• A Better World - Cabin Workshop Pack
  
• Do It Yourshelf
  
• Modular Kitchen
  
• Nimrout Flag Collection
  
• Nahant Red Rocket Settlement
  
• More Guard Barricades by Owly K
  
• Hunkered Down (both mods)
  
• Functional Sanctuary Bridge
  
• Fallout 76 Watchtowers
  
• Commonwealth National Park
  
• Plenty'o'exploration
  
• Stumble Upon Interiors
  
• Norespawns (Sanctuary , abernathy , nordhagen , home plate and croup manor mods)
  
• No invisible Guard Markers at the Castle
  
• Custom Settler naming
  
• Settlement Attacks Spawn Outside the Settlement
  
• Frame Job (Power armor frame retexture)
  
• Nuka-Cola Classic (all of those mods)
  
• Sweet Roll 5000
  
• Immersive Toilet Paper
  
• RE8 Med Injector
  
• Purified Water Classic
  
• Settler and Companion Dialogue Overhaul
  
• Immersive Animation Framework
  
• Icebreaker Settlements
  
• Commonwealth Warfare ( both mods (no ringing explosion mod) )
  
• Project Reality Footsteps FO4
  
• Immersive Pickup Sounds
  
• UltraFire Flashlight Sounds
  
• HUDFramework
  
• IHUD (+ the compatibility patch)
  
• Power Armor HoloHud
  
• Better Dials for Power Armor
  
• Blur Removal ( Ironsight and crafting )
  
• Brewhouse Shenanigans
  
• No more Sanctuary Hammering
  
• Better Noodles
  
• Boston Tea Party
  
• (Flashy Joer) Commonwealth Fishing
  
• Snipers Of the Commonwealth
  

-Keep Radiants in the Commonwealth

• Everyone's Best Friend
  
• Danse Editable Power Armor
  
• Brotherhood Remain Friendly To Danse
  
• A Simple Sleeping Bag
  
• Greedy Doctors
  
• More Foods
  
• Give Me My Bottle Back
  
• Less Vertibirds Encounters
  
• Weapon Drop Standalone
  
• Food Crafting Uses Purified Water
  
• Falllock - Harder Locks
  
• Scarce Caps
  
• No Explosives Arch
  
• Pipboy Shadows
  
• Flyable Personal Vertibird (+ patch for Nuka World and Passengers)
  
• Commonwealth Snow Globes
  
• Rain Of Brass (Full Version)
  
• Service Rifle
  
• The Attachment Pack (Version 1)
  
• Classic Melee Pack
  
• Hunting Shotgun
  
• PBW - The Chinese Assault Rifle
  
• Lever Action Shotgun
  
• Vintage Repeater
  
• Capital Wasteland 10mm Pistol
  
• .38 Machine Pistol
  
• The Incendiary Launcher
  
• G3 Classic Assault Rifle
  
• Vintage Shotgun
  
• Fallout 3 Point Lookout Axe
  
• New Vegas Uniques 17 : Mysterious Magnum
  
• PreWar Binoculars (+ animation replacer)
  
• New Vegas Knives
  
• Wasteland Flamethrower
  
• Handmade Assault Optics
  
• Revolver Reanimation Pack
  
• Laser Weapons 1st Person Reposition
  
• ZSZ Makeshift Weapons Ammo Pack
  
• The Molecular Destabilizer
  
• Legendary Modification
  
• Bullet Counted Reload System For Xbox
  
• More Clothes Textures
  
• K-9 Harness
  
• D98R Tac Light
  
• Father's Coat - Blue
  
• Rename Power Armor
  
• Father Companion
  
• Subversion (Institute-Railroad ending mod)
  
• The Danse Dilemma
  
• Institute - Alternate End and Restoration
  
• Radiation Overhaul
  
• More Radstags
  
• Disable Character Glow Light
  
• Dearest Luna - Best Dog Ever
  
• Genetical Father
  
• Combat Comments
  
• No Borders
  
• Disable Workshop Auto-Exit
  
• Mobile Workshop by SKK
  
• Place Anywhere
  
• No Build Limit
  
• Cheat Terminal
  
• Timestopping VATS
  
• Boston - Less Enemies
  
• No Legendary Enemies
  
• Dynamic Music Overhaul - Silence
  
• More Immersive Survival Messages
  
• Hardcore Health Overhaul
  
• Keep Buddy Safe
  
• Darker Nights ( darkest mod )
  
• When Pigs Fly Fix
  
• Very Zen Darker Roads
  
• CC's Improved Roadsigns
  
• Boston Natural Surroundings ( 13mb mod )
  
• Green Commonwealth (Performance)
  
• Best In The World Forest
  
• Overgrowth
  
• Vanilla Cubemap Fix
  
• Black Codsworth and Windows Fix
  
• Full Dialogue Interface (+ Lookup Failed mod)
  

Should I remove some mods , is this too much for my xbox to handle? Any help is appreciated.

bro i think potion are bit overhyped by the community i recently beat getfixedboi legendary and infernum calamity with 0 potions. I beat it completely fine (with a bit of a challenge cus its naturally difficult) i think potions are ok to use to make the game easier but im just to busy to grind them fishing and herbs.

~Part 3 Luna Baby~
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Luna Baby.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be rooms for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR. Competing in battles while dress cute and facing off with others. I would encourage and flatter those that send virtual gifts that could be exchanged for gifts. I would message and ask for WeChat account numbers to talk to them and I would be an emotional prostitute pretending to love and be interested in them for the hopes of more gifts. Methods of manipulation would be used as in begging, guilt tripping a viewer, and love bombing them. Often middle aged men would pretend to be the female host.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen—a life set to end in misery—a fate.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.

~Final~
Easily happy fooling ourselves.
Something unusual happened as thoughts transplanted and I became more aware of everything around me. Luna Baby and the girl made of paper were identical twins disconnected.
I’m from Luoyang in Henan but work in a city further away in Zhengzhou. I am a migrant worker. Always missing my wife as I grow distant from her. Our seven year old daughter Leina goes to school and lives with my mother in law who helps to raise her. My wife Ai works at a factory in Guangzhou. In China there is something called the huko system. It is a government official book that shows the family and ties them to a city and region. Somebody cannot receive access to government help such as public education.
I had the feeling and paranoia my wife must be seeing someone else amongst her loneliness in Guangzhou. The feelings at me up.
I worked at a factory for Foxconn (Taiwanese owned)—the largest facility was in Zhengzhou where they built the iPhone—a symbol of capitalism—a symbol to distract ourselves from ungodliness and discontent. Deceive ourselves to be happy. Vampires of society suck us dry on screens. I’m unhappy.
Are you just like me?
To escape from suffocating from worries I look Luna baby while smoking hashish. Send her gifts to make a hole in me. Then I get to be happy. Life gets into a routine m, swim or drown—when I get bored I get unhappy.
Being alienated as a worker with no family or support around me. It makes me weak. Weak like so many things I noticed in Henan.
The yellow river through the city looked like something that could eat the weak—crumble like buildings built quickly only to be empty. I had colleagues who went to the banks to find there was no money they pull out. Everyone felt uneasy. Just like when COVID had broken out. It also made us all in the city feel weak and uneasy like stilts in sand. Tractors dropped rocks and trees on the exits from the city. We could not leave even if we wanted to.
The sickle and hammer worked to use violence to make the working class to keep making the iPhone. It felt Beijing hated Henan. I felt distant from elites like I was to my wife. I could smell a flooding coming.
Our phones had to carry COVD Identification. If somebody had a green dot it meant to COVID or contact with others with COVID. Red meant that one was considered a contact and needed to be isolated and couldn’t be out. When people were upset with the collapse of local banks they went to the banks in protest. Before plain clothes police of the communist party came and use violence against the working class, protestors had their codes turned to red to force them to shut up and kept isolated from home to not be a nuisance.
Discontent grew under the baton of the party. People were welded into their apartments if the apartment building had cases. One building apartment had burned down and everyone died inside as they were trapped in the confines of the apartment.
I felt barricaded in the factory. We were not getting our allowances and we were being forced to stay amongst our rooms with those positive with the virus. Virus was becoming like a baton to beat us. Like kettles of corn we began to pop in our dormitories. We began to feel discontent and corned within the premises of the factory. I can smell rain like my mind knows flood waters are coming. There is a myth in China called the heavens mandate—a sort of supernatural belief. It is considered import in China to respect authority figures in our lives—this includes parents to leaders of the country—but if things fall apart or if there are natural disasters, it is indicative that heaven wants the people to replace the leader—it is a time to revolt and make demands. It felt like one of those times.
I was amongst the chaos. In the yard of the factory where men in white hazmat suits came with metals poles to clash with the workers.
The speakers were set up by police and security and the workers had speakers too, echoing back at each other like a badminton match.
Luna Baby was on her phone far away like Chang’e on the moon.

~Part 3 Luna Baby~
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Luna Baby.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be rooms for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR. Competing in battles while dress cute and facing off with others. I would encourage and flatter those that send virtual gifts that could be exchanged for gifts. I would message and ask for WeChat account numbers to talk to them and I would be an emotional prostitute pretending to love and be interested in them for the hopes of more gifts. Methods of manipulation would be used as in begging, guilt tripping a viewer, and love bombing them. Often middle aged men would pretend to be the female host.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen—a life set to end in misery—a fate.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.

~Final~
Easily happy fooling ourselves.
Something unusual happened as thoughts transplanted and I became more aware of everything around me. Luna Baby and the girl made of paper were identical twins disconnected.
I’m from Luoyang in Henan but work in a city further away in Zhengzhou. I am a migrant worker. Always missing my wife as I grow distant from her. Our seven year old daughter Leina goes to school and lives with my mother in law who helps to raise her. My wife Ai works at a factory in Guangzhou. In China there is something called the huko system. It is a government official book that shows the family and ties them to a city and region. Somebody cannot receive access to government help such as public education.
I had the feeling and paranoia my wife must be seeing someone else amongst her loneliness in Guangzhou. The feelings at me up.
I worked at a factory for Foxconn (Taiwanese owned)—the largest facility was in Zhengzhou where they built the iPhone—a symbol of capitalism—a symbol to distract ourselves from ungodliness and discontent. Deceive ourselves to be happy. Vampires of society suck us dry on screens. I’m unhappy.
Are you just like me?
To escape from suffocating from worries I look Luna baby while smoking hashish. Send her gifts to make a hole in me. Then I get to be happy. Life gets into a routine m, swim or drown—when I get bored I get unhappy.
Being alienated as a worker with no family or support around me. It makes me weak. Weak like so many things I noticed in Henan.
The yellow river through the city looked like something that could eat the weak—crumble like buildings built quickly only to be empty. I had colleagues who went to the banks to find there was no money they pull out. Everyone felt uneasy. Just like when COVID had broken out. It also made us all in the city feel weak and uneasy like stilts in sand. Tractors dropped rocks and trees on the exits from the city. We could not leave even if we wanted to.
The sickle and hammer worked to use violence to make the working class to keep making the iPhone. It felt Beijing hated Henan. I felt distant from elites like I was to my wife. I could smell a flooding coming.
Our phones had to carry COVD Identification. If somebody had a green dot it meant to COVID or contact with others with COVID. Red meant that one was considered a contact and needed to be isolated and couldn’t be out. When people were upset with the collapse of local banks they went to the banks in protest. Before plain clothes police of the communist party came and use violence against the working class, protestors had their codes turned to red to force them to shut up and kept isolated from home to not be a nuisance.
Discontent grew under the baton of the party. People were welded into their apartments if the apartment building had cases. One building apartment had burned down and everyone died inside as they were trapped in the confines of the apartment.
I felt barricaded in the factory. We were not getting our allowances and we were being forced to stay amongst our rooms with those positive with the virus. Virus was becoming like a baton to beat us. Like kettles of corn we began to pop in our dormitories. We began to feel discontent and corned within the premises of the factory. I can smell rain like my mind knows flood waters are coming. There is a myth in China called the heavens mandate—a sort of supernatural belief. It is considered import in China to respect authority figures in our lives—this includes parents to leaders of the country—but if things fall apart or if there are natural disasters, it is indicative that heaven wants the people to replace the leader—it is a time to revolt and make demands. It felt like one of those times.
I was amongst the chaos. In the yard of the factory where men in white hazmat suits came with metals poles to clash with the workers.
The speakers were set up by police and security and the workers had speakers too, echoing back at each other like a badminton match.
Luna Baby was on her phone far away like Chang’e on the moon.

Posie has more OVARIES than 100% of the womyn that I met online in the past TWO years. NEWSFLASH: YOU DON'T HAVE TO PARTICIPATE!!! BOYCOTT AND WALK AWAY. THAT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN CRYING ABOUT IT. KOREA 4B/WEST 4B is about WALKING AWAY and LOOK at the impact!!! NO one gives a shit about your crying. People naturally NEVER give a shit about a CLOWN who keeps showing up in their face. Go write that down. SILENCE IS A MONSTER TO narcissistic MEN AND MALE-MINDED MESSY-gossipying (loving TEA) woMEN. IGNORE PEOPLE AND WATCH THE RESPECT YOU GET FROM THAT SAME GROUP. Stop participating ladies. GO where you are wanted and appreciated.

I’ve noticed recently that my shoes smell funny and I know if I can smell them so can the people around me. It’s obviously very uncomfortable for me and I’m trying to find a solution to this. I have tried a number of suggestions like baking soda and tea bags and they only work for a while then the smell comes back like it never left. I’ve been reading about how the smell is caused by bacteria and how you need to disinfect the shoes to deal with the smell. A guy in a different sub recommended a natural shoe spray from amazon, here. I would like to know if any of you are familiar with the product and if it can help my situation.

I'll be in Osaka for 9 days. I want to learn how to make a traditional chawan, Japanese tea bowl. Is there a good class I can take? Hand pinching preferably. I have some experience with clay and I want to learn to trim natural looking landscape rim and good kodai. Thanks!

I’ve been dealing with sensitive stomach for years due to chronic illness/autoimmune issues and nothing helps. I hated taking so many meds daily to manage symptoms and drinking tea never helped. I finally started taking peppermint supplements (Natures Way Peppermint Leaf) daily and it has really helped lessen symptoms. It cut my amount of flares and the severity down. When I travel I take them throughout the day and it helps so much. I wish I would have done this sooner. Sharing in case it can help someone else out.

“Remember Marcus, it’s the Townies we want gone. Not the Woodies. Ok? The Townies have the rainbow necks, the Woodies have the white line around theirs. Woodies are fatter. Townies are thinner. You can tell the difference easily.”
Mother gave him the rifle and sent him to his brother’s room upstairs to deal with the infestation. The sun had looked relatively drab as of recently. It wasn’t the same last week. Last week, they had a pool party in the garden. Marcus’s neighbours all came to the house with their respective kids and had a BBQ. Laughter and sickening smiles polluted the space. One of the boys, Tom Kilman, son of the local washed-up table tennis champion who had epilepsy Franky Kilman, decided, after having three hot dogs with a grotesque amount of mustard, to purge all the contents in a safe area where he wouldn’t be the centre of mockery to the other kids.
Tom was gone for precisely twenty-five minutes.
Marcus noticed his absence.
Franky didn’t even notice as he was too busy chatting up Kathryne Reeves.
When Tom finally did get back, stumbling specifically, his right eye was replaced with a gaping hole and blood on his face. Laughter turned into silence then transitioned into screaming.
Naturally, there was something to blame without outright stating it.
Marcus adjusted the rifle’s scope. Where he was situated, the view of the back garden from the room allowed him to see both his neighbours' back gardens. On the right side, old man Howard Small finished trimming his hedges. On the left side, Darla and Dennis wrapped the top of their expensive hot tub with tarpaulin and headed in with their black cat Norman.
It was windy until it stopped. No birds ever appeared. The only one present was a simple Woodie, walking with stride across the garden and eating stray seeds from the grass. Then it suddenly stopped. Its smooth head cocked around with its eyes staring directly through Marcus’s scope.
Then another one came, slightly pudgier. It was a Townie. Marcus moved the rifle towards it. The lead pellet had been inserted. The silencer tightened on. Then the Woodie simply walked in front of the Townie and kept piercing Marcus’s other eye.
When he moved away, he did not notice a colony of pigeons come down onto the fence, a mixture of white, black, brown, rainbow, silver, orange, tiny, big, just to simply look at Marcus.
His poor Mother had to verify her son’s body. She heard the gunshot, a static of fluttering noise and wailing echoed to the kitchen where she was drinking tea and scrolling through her phone. Rushing upstairs, her scream alerted Darla and Dennis. Unlike Tom Kilman, who was now wearing an eyepatch and was considered the coolest kid in school, Marcus had no eyes, no nose, and no teeth. The rifle disappeared.
Ever since then, no pigeons have appeared. Instead, Jackdaws and Magpies scavenge the remains of the newly abandoned bird feeder.